lcturn87
Jul 26, 2015
Writing Feedback / How Does Foods that Have Gluten in Them Affects the Human Body [3]
I can help you with some of your essay. When you begin your essay, I think you should give the reader more information.
1st paragraph: "Today, there arejust so many people in this world that have developed some conditions that their doctors just couldn't give them an explanation understand.
"Sometimes when our bodiesspeak to us by react a certain way after using or we eat something, there is just no way to put things together by making a connection identify the cause."
"Well, that is because people feel like when they go to the doctor,and he/she he or she is supposed to know everything that has been going on with your has occurred with the body since the last visit.
These are a few sentences that needed correction. The next correction I would like to focus on is how you discuss the information that will be presented. After you discuss how doctors may be unaware of what is happening to their patients after the last visit, you should give an example and discuss how those who suffer from a sensitivity or intolerance to gluten should be open with their physician. Ex: For example, those with an intolerance to gluten should be open with their physician about their symptoms. This is just an example to lead you into your discussion.
If you begin discussing gluten very early in your discussion, you can delete this:In this paper I'm going to give you some important information about how . You should be able to discuss that it is important to get help from your physician. Then you can discuss that in your research you found information and stories that pertain to gluten and discuss your goal. The last sentence is probably more suitable to include in the last paragraph or you could delete it.
I can help you with some of your essay. When you begin your essay, I think you should give the reader more information.
1st paragraph: "Today, there are
"Sometimes when our bodies
"Well, that is because people feel like when they go to the doctor,
These are a few sentences that needed correction. The next correction I would like to focus on is how you discuss the information that will be presented. After you discuss how doctors may be unaware of what is happening to their patients after the last visit, you should give an example and discuss how those who suffer from a sensitivity or intolerance to gluten should be open with their physician. Ex: For example, those with an intolerance to gluten should be open with their physician about their symptoms. This is just an example to lead you into your discussion.
If you begin discussing gluten very early in your discussion, you can delete this: