Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : The Comparison Of Weather Pattern Between Normal And El Nino Conditions [NEW]

The comparison of weather pattern between normal and El Nino conditions in Pacific Ocean is depicted in two diagrams, the above is normal and the other is El Nino figures. It can be seen that there are significant differences between one and other. In addition, El Nino causes some negative influences such as climate change and quality of sea water.

To begin, both have difference in trade winds and warm water route. While the ordinary conditions have stronger trade winds in East Pacific than in West Pacific, the other reverses. Moreover, flow of warm water goes from the East to West Pacific normally, but El Nino conditions are on the contrary. Finally, quantity of rains in usual condition appears to the west, but it changes going to east when El Nino happens.

In consequent, there are at least three effects that are caused by El Nino. In normal conditions, Australia has rainy season that leads to cultivate plants and source of cool seawater is much. Meanwhile, enormous nutritious water and enough solar in sunny season increase the number of fishes in Peru. In contrast, El Nino causes drought in Australia, declining cool water, rainy in Peru, and decreasing of fishes.

(200 words)

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Electronic Media May Give Benefits And Drawbacks For People On Relationship [NEW]

The use of electronic has a negative effect on personal relationship between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Bad consequences on personal relationship will be emerged if people use electronic media. I do agree that the statement may be right when people apply it on face to face communication because it can be some distractions. However, the electronic media will be very useful when they utilize on long distance relationship.

Electronic media such as laptop or smart phone may help people to get along more closely on relationship. Yet, it cannot be happened when they are communicating directly for strengthening relation. It can be obstacles of two persons because one of them, or maybe both, will get difficulties to share more attentions between partner of speaking and the gadget. In consequence, they cannot focus on material of conversation that they experience, and it drives to misunderstanding communication. For example, replay a massage, update status, and call someone while talking. In short, these are disturbing activities.

On the other hand, the cell phone will be very helpful for people who have a relationship in different areas due to specific condition such working. They can interact by the phone to communicate to each other easily and regularly without gathering. To illustrate, chatting in social media and video calling. Not only they can save money because there is no cost for transportation, but also this way has flexible time only if they have connection of the internet or wi-fi. Moreover, they are able to do another activity whereas they use the gadget for keeping in touch.

To sum up, electronic media may give benefits and drawbacks for people on personal relationship depending on the condition how they use it, on directly or indirectly communication. It is better for people to decrease their usage of the electronic device when they are on face to face communication. Likewise, people should maximize and optimize the technology when they have to be separated one and another.

(311 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Which One Is More Important, Internal or External Communication Skills? [2]

The polling results of important communication skills in work are presented in the table between 1997 and 2007. At the first glance, it can be seen that communication skills are divided into two kinds, external and internal. Likewise, while dealing with people became the most essential ability in external sector, the most important skills in internal side was listening. In addition, all of the percentage rose gradually in all competences except capability of selling product or service.

According to external communication skill, most of people considered that dealing ability were the most essential at 60% in 1997 and 65% in 2006. On the other hand, a similar trend was figured by mastering knowledge of products and advising customers in both years at an average 38%. Afterwards, marketing competence showed a fall percentage and the most unimportant skill because it was represented only at 24% (1997) and 21% (2006) of respondents.

For internal communication skill, there was a slight increase of importance in this ability from 1997 to 2006. Capable to well listening was the greatest rise and the most important competence for people at 38% and 47% respectively in following year. Moreover, planning qualification was the most insignificant change approximately at 15%. Finally, less than 31% level was represented by other internal communication skills by plus minus 5% change of respondents.

(219 words)

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Renewable Energy Has Some Drawbacks, But People Need It To Protect The Earth [2]

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, waves and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport.

To what extent do your agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, new resources called renewable energy has become substitute of fossil flues. However, to harnessing this alternative energy, that can be gotten from nature and used to generate infrastructure, requires high cost and complex process. While renewable energy has some drawbacks, it will be good idea to develop this source of power to keep supply of material flues and existence of the green earth.

The big projects, such as turbine and solar power station, are the examples of renewable resources applying and made to maximize natural resources from the earth. However, to emerge this project has serious complexity in several aspects, such as modern and technological equipment, competent scientists and expert engineers, also proper locations that provide the resources and obtain to build the power station plant. Thus, these aspects will drive to very costly budgeting and long duration. In sort, these project plants have huge challenges.

On the other hand, people need the alternative since coal and fossil as vital resources of flues have explored immensely. In other words, the source of energy may be extinction if people exhaust it continuously. For this reason, the renewable energy must be utilized effectively. Likewise, fossil flues has some negative effects to environment, its emissions that release to the atmosphere cause greenhouse gasses, and it leads to global warming and climate change. Furthermore, the earth will be uncomfortable to be inhabited in the future. Eventually, the renewable energy can save the world and protect it to be green.

To conclude, to replace the nonrenewable energy to the alternative resources has positive and negative effects. Renewable energy can help people to secure their life in the earth but they have to strive mightily to make it come true. For countries which want to optimize renewable energy should plan seriously and allocate large budget and accurate timing.

(303 words)

Writing Feedback / Describing the issue of how do heat and energy waste are releasing to the atmosphere [2]

The air circulation that drives heat and energy wasted in a house is illustrated in the diagram. Overall, the outside air will blow into the house through quite large slots like vents, windows, and doors. However, heat and energy wasted will leak out from the building through attics that are at higher part of structure in the second floor.

Based upon the first floor, the air comes into the house through windows and dryer vent below toilet. Moreover, crawl space nearby outdoor faucet and fan vent in the kitchen becomes a medium of the air into. In other side, both of windows and door in the cooking and the dining rooms also help the air entering the house. The fresh air from outdoor will circulate in the rooms of the building and lead to release heat.

On the other hand, some attics below rooftop are made for leaking the heat from inside. In addition, these parts are located in the rooms which allow heat to be produced such as in the kitchen and electrical outlet. Finally, the heat will leak and release through every single attic that on above the rooms, bathroom fan vent and plumbing stack vent.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: The Crime Rate That Always Rises Gradually Every Year [3]

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

The level of crime rate arises year by year continuously. Because of this reason, the governments have a responsibility to stop its development, and serve the safety feeling in society. Likewise, some major factors come from internal of offenders and bring them to commit a crime, for examples, financial, family, and behavior problems. Thus, to solve such a big case is required collaboration from people like governments, relatives, and teachers.

There are at least three primary aspects that cause a crime. Firstly, due to financial problem, the convicts maybe are unemployment and need money to stay alive. Thus, they take a shortcut to obtain a plenty of money by robbing, mugging, or shoplifting to fulfill their daily necessity. In addition, several young people commit A juvenile crime because of family problems, for instances, they come from A broken home family and lack of attention or affection. Hence, to look for attention from their relatives, they become offenders like vandalism or gangster. Moreover, a behavior problem such having bad values of moral also drives them to do the criminal activities. They have no concept that committing a crime is a mistake, and it hurts others.

To overcome these problems, people have to work together based on their roles. The governments have substantial role by providing jobs for those who get unemployment based on the qualifications. The governments also can give community service or business education for them, so they can start to be entrepreneurs. On the other hand, education is also essential. Parents and teachers require supporting their children to grow up with good behavior. In home, parents have to keep the harmoniousness of family by giving enough attention and love or discussing with them when they have problems. However, teachers should supervise and ensure that children study well when they are at school.

To sum up, three factors, for instances, financial issues, unhappiness families, and wrong values can generate a crime. However, several of actions from the governments, parents, and teachers are some real preventing to decline the crime rate that always rises gradually every year. To maximize and optimize these notions, they should do seriously and regularly.

(358 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: A Breakdown of Weather in Two Brazilian Cities [NEW]

A breakdown of weather in two Brazilian cities which consist of sunshine absorption hours, thunder days, and temperature measurement is presented in two bar charts. Overall, it can be seen that a contrast trend between Brasilia and Recife is showed in rainfall, regarding Brasilia experiences far lower figure in the middle of year than other. However, Recife has slightly more consistent temperature that the one over 12 months.

To Begin, there is surge emerging of rainfall from the beginning to the end of year in Brasilia, while one reverses. The first four months, the precipitation of rainfall goes down gradually from at almost 250 mm with 21 days rain to about 50 mm with 12 days rain in Brasilia. In contrast, Recife witnesses a considerably increase with 12 to 21 days rain from January to April respectively 50 mm and 220 mm.

A more detailed look at the chart displays that rainfall in Recife happens substantially higher proportion than the other in the middle of the year in average 6 hours of sunshine and a day with thunder. Finally over the end of the time frame, the rainfall grows up gradually in Brasilia with maximum 24 days rain, 16 days thunder, and 7 hours sunshine, whereas the one gains rarely rainfall with 50 mm, 10 days rain and 8 hours sunshine in average.

Having said that, Brasilia has very more extreme condition than other when it comes to temperature. While over 12 months in Recife tends to be stable at average 20 - 35 degree , the one shows a fluctuate situation. On May to August, Brasilia hits the lowest point of temperature at under 5 degree even 0 degree on June.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: GDP Growth Per Year For Tunisia, Japan, and Ecuador [2]

A breakdown of the annual growth of GDP for three countries is presented in the bar chart from 2007 to 2010.

In 2007, the proportion of Tunisia showed by far the most significant growth in GDP at over 6%, while Ecuador experienced a half as much. Moreover, a very small number was revealed in Japan's development at 2%. By 2010, Japan's growth had witnessed a considerable increase at 6.5%, but the percentage of Tunisia had fallen back to virtually the 2007 Ecuador's figure by 2010. Meanwhile, there was a threefold decrease of Japan's rate in Ecuador GDP.

Between 2008 and 2009, there was a parallel trend in Tunisia and Ecuador. Those showed a fall in the proportion. The former went down steadily by around 1%, while the latter showed a significant decrease hitting a low approximately at 1%. Yet, a slight increase was seen in Japan's GDP from at over 4% to 5%.

By and large, initially GDP in Tunisia experienced the highest percentage among others. Eventually, its proportion always revealed a gradual fall over the period in question.

(179 words)

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: A breakdown of Wheat Exports in Several Countries [2]

A breakdown of wheat exports in several countries is presented in the line chart from 1985 to 1990. Overall, there were parallel falls in export rates between Australia and Europe countries in the first second period. On the other hand, Canada showed a stable percentage from the beginning of time frame over the period in question.

Between 1985 and 1987, a similar trend was seen by Australia and European communities in wheat exports, regarding a slight decrease. The former went down steadily from 15 to 14 million tonnes, while the latter fell by around a million ton. In contrast, the proportion of Canada's wheat exports rose slowly and reached at over 20 million tonnes.

Interestingly, Canada witnessed an upward trend. The alteration was most noticeable in the third period, when the figure showed a significant increase and peaked at 25 million tonnes. However, this had fallen back to the 1985 figure by 1990. By contrast, the portion of Australia declined gradually at about 10 million tonnes, albeit the other grew up to more than 20 million tonnes. Eventually, a gap between those had widened.

(177 words)

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Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 - Positives Versus Negatives of Computer Games for Children [2]

It is argued that computer games bring negative impacts for children. In reverse, these games are valuable. In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of such games ?

The most interesting issue for children is about computer games. Some people believe that this entails bad effect for pupils, while some others have good perceptions in games. Indeed, children can take a benefit for increasing their problem solving skill, but they will have a negative side in their social lives.

Computer games train children to get quick problem solving skill since they have to accomplish some instructions on some stages or levels when they are playing games. They have several targets in games almost every second and, this results in exercising their brains regularly. The more they play, the more they increase their abilities. A study from the University of Rochester found that People who played action-based video and computer games made decisions 25% faster than others without sacrificing accuracy. I believe that this benefit will help schoolchildren in finishing plenty of assignments and examinations.

The opposite impact from previous discussion is that pupils lack of social life with their peers. They may have less time to play and interact with their schoolmates in their leisure times. This situation drives them to be lonely and isolated person. A study by researchers at the North Carolina State University points out that gamers usually do not replace their offline social lives with online game playing because they enjoy being a loner. It is generally argued that children with this type will find difficulties in working group activities.

All in all, the advantage of computer games is to train children developing their skill in problem solving. However, they have a tendency to be isolated by their groups. My suggestion for parents is that they have to supervise their children playing games in appropriate time in order to have free time to socialize with their friends.

(293 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 - Museums and Historical Sites are Ignored by Local Tourists [3]

Many museums and history sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people why is this? What can we done to encourage people to visit museums and historical sites?

Some foreigners are more likely to go to museums and historical sites than local people. This case happens since these places lack of promotion to people in surrounding. For solving this problem, the officers can create campaign to encourage citizens to visit these historical places.

The main principal problem of this issue is that those places are not well-known by people around there because they tend to ignore what they have. The officers may do not promote these destinations to people living around those places. This results in people to overlook the existence of them. A recent study by Tokyo University found a fact when the researchers conducted a research in Indonesia that 200 museums in Indonesia only had at average 100 local visitors every month, while 80% young generations there did not know the best top five museums in Indonesia. It means that these places are unpopular for society.

The greatest way to tackle this problem is that the officers arrange the event to make museums and historical sites more popular such as "a movement to love museums". The officers can invite local citizens to come to museums and socialize to them about a valuable aspect regarding in visiting historical places. With this strategy, the officers can show attractive uniqueness of these places. A study in 2013 by The University of Sussex revealed that visitors of Madame Tussaud Museum in London increased at 30% in 2014 after the its officers created a campaign named 'visit museum 2013'. This brilliant idea brings effective solution.

All in all, poor promotion is primary reason why local people are unlikely to go museums and historical sites. However, people can organize a campaign to overcome this case. It is suggested that the officers should do regularly more or less once in six months.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 - People Need Music to Support Their Lives [3]

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Music plays an important role in people's lives. They need music to booster their mood particularly when they have to workout. Sadly, people have a tendency to choose international music than traditional one. This essay will discuss about these two notions.

Music helps people to get better mood in exercise since it can set tone followed by people's movements. They feel to be accompanied with the harmony or intonation of music, and this makes them more spirit to do sport. For illustrate, when I joined in fitness centre, I was likely to listen to fast beat music in my MP3 player, while I did my cardio exercise on treadmill equipment. I could undergo for more than 30 minutes. In reverse, when I forgot to use it, I only did less than 10 minutes. This is the reason why the music is very essential for people's lives.

For music preference, people especially young generations tend to choose international music particularly with song or lyrics than traditional music. They like this music as they can develop their English ability in listening. This helps their ears sensible listen to English vocabulary. A recent study by Tokyo University found that 60% of senior high school students in Japan could accomplish listening exam at 80% due to listening western music regularly. This means that the music can be used for studying method. However, they may lack of traditional music references.

All in all, people harness the music to stimulate their moods in doing sport. However, some others prefer to international than traditional music. There is an anxiety that the latter may become extinct if several people listen to the former more.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 - The Most Effective Time for young Pupils to Teach them Foreign Language [3]

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

To master foreign language in very young age is the most beneficial achievement in modern era. Some others argue that parents will find a problem since children have a difficulty to pay more attention on learning second language. However, I extremely believe that the merit of teaching the language in early age outweighs any drawback as toddlers have a great brain in this condition.

The main demerit of teaching another language to young children is that they lack of abilities to focus on materials. They will prefer to playing with their toys rather than studying special language. They may gain stressful if parents force them to study. To illustrate, my nephew ignored his mother when she tried to teach English to him by picture book. In the beginning of process, he was enthusiastic to look at the picture. After the following five minutes, he left her and played with his toys. For this problem, obviously children can be taught by other fun activities such as singing, drawing, and playing.

To teach foreign language in early age for children gives advantages because this is the best time of brain development to catch language learning. They are more likely to memorize and imitate easily new vocabulary. A research by psychologists of Twente University found that 80% children in 4 to 8 aged was considerably easier to memorize new words that those who have more than 10 since they are in golden age phase, regarding the right time to receive learning. It means that parents can harness this golden age to teach the language since it works effectively.

All in all, it is the disadvantage that very young pupils have a bad concentration to study particularly foreign language. Indeed, this issue has far more advantage because they can understand the learning easier in their golden age. I suggest to parents to mix between native and foreign languages in daily conversation to ease learning process.