Writing Feedback / Electronic media can cause several disadvantages on personal relationships between humans. [7]

The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Technology can change everything. It is believed that electronic media such as mobile phone or laptop bring several disadvantages on personal relationships between humans. I strongly agree with this statement because such media may affect the users to become addicted and more individual.

To begin, convenient electronic media leads people to carry them everywhere because people cannot control themselves to not checking their gadget even in the morning when they wake up, the first thing that they do is checking their mobile phone. Such behavior causes them to be gadget addict and break their relationships with other people. To illustrate, it can be seen nowadays many couples who eat together in the restaurant do not speak each other a lot because they only focus on their mobile phone. As a consequence, their quality of relationship will decrease and make them more individual.

On the other hand, such media also have positive effect on helping people to communicate with their relatives or their friends who live far from their city. A student who studies abroad definitely needs laptop or mobile phone to keep contact with his or her family. They use applications such as facebook or skype on their gadget to have chat or video call each other.

To sum up, I personally believe that the use of electronic media causes the users to be more addicted and act individually but it also can be very useful if people use it in appropriate way. It is better if the users can use it with a balance proportion between real life and virtual life.

Writing Feedback / The proportion of monthly temperatures and the averages number of hours of sunshine per year [2]

The average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in Sydney, London and New York are illustrated in the line graph and the table. Overall, it can be seen that in the beginning and the end of the period, the average monthly temperatures has same pattern in which Sydney has the highest temperatures and is followed by London and New York. Also, New York is the city that has the longest time to be brightened by sunshine.

According to the data, in the first three months, Sydney has the highest temperatures in around 25 degree. Then, it is followed by London in about 10 degree. Although New York is the lowest at that time, it has upward tendency in the next months.

Surprisingly, from May to September, the pattern totally changes in the opposite way, whereas New York becomes the city which has the highest temperatures and Sydney has the lowest. However, London is still in the second position in around 20-25 degree. Next, the last three months exactly have the same pattern with the first three months.

Turning to the total annual hours of sunshine, New York has the longest time receiving the sun light than other cities. It has 2,535 hours while Sydney and New York have 2,473 and 1,180 hours respectively.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - People live longer due to the improving of medical care [2]

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantageous of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Technology is always being developed day by day. The improving of medical treatment leads society to live longer and life expectancy to increase. I strongly believe that there are more benefits than drawbacks thanks to this trend since the drawback can be tackled by the government.

If the population in the world have a long life, it can create a better world because healthy is one of the essential keys to live in a world full of peace. In fact, health is the main problem that every nation has and due to that reason, United Nations aims to create a world with healthy generations. Also, if the inhabitants in a country have long-life expectancy, it will be a developed country. This can be happen because it has many productive people that can lead to increase the income of the country. In all, both life-longer denizens and increasing of life expectancy are required to make quality of life in the whole world better.

On the other hand, the drawback that might occur owing to such trend is overpopulation, in which there are a lot of number people living in particular area. However, this issue can be overcome by the government. Government can make a decision to start a program to migrate the citizens from a densely populated city to a quiet countryside.

To sum up, a better world for living can be created because of the improvement of health care even though such trend is able to cause overpopulation, but it can be solved by the government. Government should prevent the issue as soon as possible and keep the population healthy.

Writing Feedback / Water tank, pipe, storage tank, boiler, pump, and tube - heating system in a house [2]

The work of central heating system in a house is illustrated with the diagram. It can be seen that how the components which are the water tank, pipe, storage tank, boiler, pump, and tube are connected through the process so that the hot water can flow to the tap.

First, there is a water tank in the top of the house that is used to fill the storage tank with cold water. Then, the cold water flows through the pipe to the boiler which is fueled by gas or oil and located in the ground floor of the house.

The water is heated up by the boiler and pumped to flow through the pipe system around the house. After that, the hot water flows into the radiators in the different places. Each radiator has small tubes in both side of the radiator. Finally, the hot water is able to be used in the house by turning on the taps.

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Writing Feedback / Different methods of learning should be incorporated into a teaching process [2]

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

To find a precise learning method is very important. Some people believe that pupils who study by themselves are less efficacious than students who study with their peers while others argue that studying individually is more effective than studying in a group. I strongly believe that either studying alone or studying with group has positive values.

There are several reasons why pupils should consider to study by themselves. First, they have some independence while focusing on the material because they tend to have their own ideas on how the way they study is. In addition, by studying individually, they are able to more concentrate since they do not get distractions from others. Also, the students absolutely have flexibility when they will study and where will be at. For instance, some of them may like to study in the library but the others may prefer to study late at night.

On the other hand, pupils studying in a group are able to combine the abilities of several people. When they study together, each student will find out some titbits that they would not have discovered alone. Furthermore, study group members may be able to solve a challenging question that no one can solve alone. Moreover, members of study group can create a positive atmosphere around them because they have a same goal to pass the exam and motivate one another.

To sum up, not only studying individually but also studying together brings many advantages for the students. There is no doubt that such learning methods should be integrated in order to reach learning target to make pupils understand the lesson effectively.

Writing Feedback / WORLD'S PROBLEM: OVERPOPULATION growth seems that it cannot be stopped [2]

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time.
What are the causes of this continued rise?
Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?
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In this era, the immense amount of world's population growth seems that it cannot be stopped. I do believe that it becomes the most essential issue for humanity. There are several reasons why this phenomenon occurs.

First, the number of people in the world rises continuously in the light of free sex among teenagers. An enormous change of media, information, and technology makes these young people have more opportunities to do something that they should not do in their age. Statistic shows that the number of juveniles who get pregnant before marriage in Indonesia in 2013 is 2.2 million. Most of cases occur because the boys desire to have sex with their girlfriend after watching pornographic movie on the internet.

In addition, many married couple do not limit the number of their children. Research conducted by BKKN, an official institution that focus on population in Indonesia reveals that Indonesian family have a tendency to have more than 2 children. If this condition still continuous, United Nations predicts that in 2050, the number of population in Indonesia can reach more than 300 million.

These can bring many impacts on people's lives. The more people were born, the more human's basic needs are required. Food, housing, and job are the most necessities that should be considered by the government. If the government are not able to provide those needs, it can cause very serious problems such as famine, poverty, and high rate of unemployment.

To sum up, a dramatic rise of human's population is the most significant issue in the world. Government should pay more attention for this because it may lead a new problem such as a high rate of criminal acts or decrease of health quality in the world.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - Stokeford's alterations over 80 years [2]

The alterations in the countryside of Stokeford during 80 years, started from 1930 to 2010 are illustrated on the maps. The most noticeable change is, over 80 years, either the west side or the east side of the village turned into residential area in which it was formed by farmland.

According to the maps, in the west side which was between river stoke and main road, the farmland was demolished by a large number of houses along the avenue. Also, a new street with square shaped had been constructed in order to link the dwelling. There was also a roadway which replaced several shops next to the post office. Seven new houses were built on the both side of the avenue.

Turning to the east side, a large house with a spacious garden had been modified to be a house for retired people. The building was larger than before but, the garden seemed to be smaller because of constructing a new path with two dwellings on the each side. There were also many new residences along the main street on the east side of the village. In addition, a primary school had been enlarged with additional building behind the main one. Again, farm near the bridge was replaced with a new residence block in the new roadway.

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Writing Feedback / Shares of Expenditure in the US, Canada, UK and Japan [2]

The bar chart compares the proportion of consumption spending in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan for food, housing, transportation, health care and clothing during 2009. Overall, it can obviously be seen that the United States were the higher shares of total expenditure for housing and health care category than Canada, The United Kingdom, and Japan, while it had the lowest in clothing share. Canada had the highest in transportation and clothing expense. However, the highest consumption for food among the countries compared is in Japan.

According to the data, with the exception of Japan, housing expenditure share was the largest expenditure categories in all countries in which The US, The UK, Japan, and Canada had 26%, 24%, 22%, and 21% respectively.

In addition, Canada spent more money for transportation than other three countries at 20%. The US and UK followed with 17% and 15% respectively. Japan, the lowest, only had 10%.

Moreover, consumers in Japan spent 23% of the total expenditure on food which followed by The UK, the second-highest share at 20%. Canada and The US had a slight difference whereas Canada with 15% and the US with 14%.

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Writing Feedback / Crime acts among teens due to personality of the juvenile delinquents itself and their surroundings. [2]

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries.
Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

Many countries of the world are currently experiencing problems caused by significant increase in crime rate among youngsters. It occurs due to personality of the juvenile delinquents itself and their surroundings. Family members, teachers, and community need to take a responsibility to tackle this problem.

Character of the young people leads teenagers to become a criminal because in that age, they are on the stage of transition from children to be an adult and curious about something new. Also, they still try to find out about who they really are. As a consequence, they will do something that they have not done before even do a violation. A study conducted by Faudah in 2011 reveals that the personality of the teenagers is the main factor that causes juvenile delinquency.

People who surround adolescents such as parents, teachers, and their friends play an important role in how they behave because the attitude of youngsters is a result of nurture. As a result, the young people will imitate what they see in their community. Research conducted in Surakarta, Indonesia finds that there is a significant correlation between social interaction of teenagers with their environment and criminal acts that they have been done.

In term of solution, I believe that society have an obligation to prevent this problem as they correlate directly with this problem. For instance, parents should ensure their children are treated well and grow up in a good environment. Besides, teacher should pay more attention to their pupils and realize that they are not only being an educator but also a role model for their students.

Therefore, it is clear that the personality of the youngsters and the surroundings can cause a violation among adolescents. Yet if the community start playing their role now, it may be able to solve this problem.

Writing Feedback / Expedintures on books in four European Countries from 1995 to 2005 in millions US dollars. [2]

The line graph compares expenditure that was spent on books in four European Countries from 1995 to 2005 in millions US dollars. At the first glance, it can be seen that during a decade Germany spent more money on books than other countries. Also, the amount of money spent on books in each country had an upward tendency.

To begin, although the amount of money spent on book in Germany was the highest, it only had an increase of 15 in average for a decade. Similar with Germany, Italy also had a slight growth in that of approximately 12.

On the other hand, French and Austria had a significant rise in the amount of money spent on books during the period. French's book expenditure stood at 55 in 1995, the second highest from other countries. Then, it rose sharply in 2001 to 70 and with a steady growth in the next four years, it ended up at 75. Meanwhile, Austria began to stand at 30 in 1995, which was the lowest at that time. Interestingly, it saw a significant rise of more than 30 from 2001 to 2005 and became third highest among others.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - APARTMENT VS HOUSE; people can decide what they would like to choose [3]

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in houses. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is not easy to choose a place where we will live. Some people argue that living in a house is better than dwelling in a skyscraper apartment, while others prefer to stay in a high-rise apartment block because they like the sense of community in there. I strongly believe that the choice of either staying in the house or apartment is depend on personal preference of the occupants.

With regard to the selection to live in the apartment, people believe that it has much better sensation of community for several reasons. People who live in the flat are generally engaged with many business affairs and often go to other places. The occupants also have more privacy by living in the apartment because the residents in that area are individual. They have their own business and do not interested in their neighbour's activities. For example, based on the data from a magazine article, the residents who live in modern flats in Jakarta, capital city of Indonesia mostly are businessmen and rarely to stay in their apartment for a long time.

On the other hand, citizens in housing area are not individual like in the apartment zone because they are not as busy as apartment's occupants. As a result, there will be more interaction among the community and bring positive atmosphere. They also are able to help each other when one of them gets a problem. It is common in Indonesian neighbourhood if their neighbour has a party such as wedding party, they will be pleased to help their neighbour to prepare the party together.

To sum up, people can decide whether they will choose a high-rise apartment or a house based on their lifestyle. I suggest them to choose an apartment if they are busy and staying in a city where they do not have any friends or relatives nearby.

Writing Feedback / I strongly believe that inventors play the same significant role as doctors. IELTS TASK 2 [3]

Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree whit this statement?
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Saving a person's life is a noble act. It is commonly believed that doctors are more essential than inventor. I strongly believe that inventors play the same significant role with doctors.

In this era, it cannot be denied that doctors have crucial position in humans' lives. People who get sick need to see the doctor in order to be diagnosed what the problem is. Doctors also help their patients by giving a medical treatment that cannot be done by nurses such as a surgery or medical examination. Moreover, people who want to buy medicine need doctors' receipt to be allowed to get that cure. All in all, it is clear that the humans' health rely on the doctors.

On the other hand, the existence of inventors is also needed in this life including in the medical sector. The invention discovered by the inventor can support the doctors to do their job as well. For instance, the invention of a medical device that is used to see the development of a baby in a woman's womb and also to predict the sex and time when the baby will come out is very useful. In addition, the discovery of some new cures for rare ill such as cancer or lupus can decrease the number of people died because of the disease. In brief, due to the very useful invention in medical sector, it is able to help doctor to do their job easier.

To sum up, it is evident that the inventors are as important as the doctors. It would be unfair if people believe that the doctors are more essential because doctors and inventors can collaborate in order to save many lives.

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Writing Feedback / With the exception in 2009, The US had the highest sale number of hybrid transportation [4]

The bar chart compares the number of sales of hybrid transport in Japan, US and other countries from 2006 to 2009. Overall, it can obviously be seen that with the exception in 2009, The US had the highest number of hybrid transportation sales rather than other countries.

According to the data, in the first two years, the hybrid vehicles were sold approximately 250,000 in the US while those in Japan and other countries sold only around 50,000. Again, the US reached the highest number of sales in 2007 in which there was a dramatic increase to 350,000 meanwhile Japan and other countries saw a slight growth to about 52,000 and 53,000 respectively.

Turning to the last two years, in 2008, even though there was a drop in the US, it still had the highest number of hybrid vehicle sales. On the other hand, nearly 100,000 hybrid transports were sold respectively in Japan and other countries. Interestingly, Japan witnessed a significant rise in the number of sales from about 100,000 to 325,000 in the last year, which was the highest number in that year. In other countries, the number of hybrid vehicle sales saw a slight growth above 100,000, the lowest number in that year.

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