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"A mother of thirty-seven" - UC APPLICATION

6 - i just felt the intro was a little cliche all together. im a little ambivalent on how i feel...

Undergraduatekirbs90 - Aug 21, 2009tal105 - Aug 21, 2009
Common Application. Help me choose a topic between these two!

10 - displayname, I have no clue what you're trying to say. Are you asking a question? Or are you saying...

UndergraduateJosh316 - Aug 21, 2009Josh316 - Aug 22, 2009
Offering Incentives - IELTS Essay

14 - thanks guys...i've been thinking about this..but i'm still confused...like this example below from BBC news: "US forces have "likely...

Writing Feedbackstealthreaction - Aug 21, 2009stealthreaction - Sep 14, 2009
Who I Want To Be> Undergraduate Admissions, Personal Statement

7 - It really is a good essay overall, especially the tone of the essay. But "Instead of reasoning with...

Undergraduateschubzcrazee - Aug 21, 2009sparklingway - Aug 23, 2009
Vice-President of Phi Theta Kappa; SERVE the underserved/Experiences

2 - No, the question is not the same. The second question is both more general and more specific, asking for...

Writing Feedbacksad_an6el - Aug 20, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 20, 2009
compare and contrast what conflicts the heroes have and how they face them

6 - Your task is to discover what they have to do with one another. Sean has offered a...

Writing Feedbackhollyn91 - Aug 20, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 20, 2009
Music helps people both personally and maintains the culture values of country

5 - Hi EF_Sean, GeneK, EF_Simone thank you much for your comments. I will incorporate your comments in my next essay....

Writing Feedbackprabudhakshin - Aug 20, 2009prabudhakshin - Aug 20, 2009
"Yourself, goals, achievements etc.." my essay for FIT.

4 - Thank you so much Simone for your encouragement. It actually helped I hope it showed. This is my rough...

Undergraduateck1030ny - Aug 20, 2009ck1030ny - Aug 21, 2009
TOEFL essay: Has easily-prepared-food improved the way people live?

7 - You don't need to address counterarguments in a TOEFL essay. In fact, you probably don't want to. You certainly...

Writing FeedbackLiwen - Aug 20, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 21, 2009
Topic: Children engaging in paid work can have both negative and positive effects

5 - I can see how the prompt -- which itself blurs the distinction between child labor and youth employment --...

Writing Feedbackstranger1130 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 21, 2009
More flexible engineering curriculum! ; TRANSFER Objectives & Reasons

6 - Yes, but there's a reason the pathetic literary device has been used by so many writers since ancient...

Undergraduatewuxia - Aug 19, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 20, 2009
The proper use of public resource--GRE ISSUE Appreciate your advice

4 - I notice that you work implicitly within Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which asserts that people will not care about...

Writing FeedbackSuperkid - Aug 19, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 20, 2009
'The state of confusion' - UF essay...my surgery.

6 - Hmm, but Simon then how would it relate to the essay topic? Is deciding to be a doctor through...

Undergraduatejshirley - Aug 19, 2009Mayada - Aug 20, 2009
"moved to Champaign from Nepal" - your decision to apply for transfer

9 - thank you guys:D...

Undergraduatebhawanashrestha - Aug 19, 2009bhawanashrestha - Sep 22, 2009
"The negative impacts of capitalism on the world" - issue of importance

9 - I look forward to reading your next draft. If you want statistics about various countries, such as life expectancy,...

Undergraduatesweets13087 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 21, 2009
"The human organism and its chemical processes" - Transfer Applicants, PROMPT #1

9 - That's a fine addition to the essay....

Undergraduatevuko323 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 22, 2009
Common App short answer; At age three, violin was an experiment like ballet and basketball

18 - 'It also has high-school students tutor low-income, inter-city music students' Shouldn't the word be 'who tutor'? Look at...

Undergraduateusername621 - Aug 19, 2009eclipze - Sep 16, 2009
"Something you do for the pleasure of it" - Short Answer

5 - No. If all of your sentences were that length, the essay would run into problems, but an occasional long...

UndergraduateJJH - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 19, 2009
Concept and story line good; I need help with correcting the grammar in my essay

4 - We patiently waited alongsideof many other excited spouses and parents. As the buses pulled up, everyone started cheering...

Writing Feedbackjenni929 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 19, 2009
"Memom, how did you draw this?" Topic of Choice Essay -- opinions and critiques

5 - As others have pointed out, you point isn't really clear here. You decided that you were interested in art...

Writing FeedbackMichelleHob - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 19, 2009
Harvard (optional) essay- about Iran and travel.

8 - Yep, your new conclusion reads very well, and will work as a solid replacement for the sentence you had...

Undergraduateusername621 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 22, 2009
"Crossroads" - Common App Personal Essay

10 - The first part of your essay now connects more smoothly with the rest of it. In taking out some...

Undergraduateusername621 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 2, 2009
BLUE-COLLAR LIFE & CYCLING ; UT Austin transfer - SOP

2 - The essay is solid, because it has the advantage of sounding sincere. You are speaking candidly and well about...

UndergraduateDJKessler - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 19, 2009
Which is the better way to write? Prompt 1-UC Essay

3 - they always say general to specific. which one is more general to u? community or family? seems as if...

Undergraduatetran1200 - Aug 19, 2009tal105 - Aug 19, 2009
the International Baccalaureate program - UF Application Essay

4 - Thanks for the feedback. I'm not using this essay whatsoever. I agree it's not personal enough, therefore, I wrote...

Undergraduatebrojas30 - Aug 19, 2009brojas30 - Sep 2, 2009
Peace Corps Essay Question (discovering new things, overcoming challenges, conquests)

6 - Unless they are brain-dead, everybody enjoys new experiences. Almost everybody sets goals and enjoys achieving them. You need to...

Undergraduateshell5811 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 19, 2009
Common Application Essay - What lead me to my goal?

24 - yeh dont mention things to make it sound like people will pity you. i like the references to the...

UndergraduateLoliT - Aug 19, 2009eyitskat - Aug 27, 2009
Toefl essay -- planning and organization

5 - to start with, people now are faced with a more sophisticate society that before, emerging along with the development...

Writing Feedbackclaire echo - Aug 19, 2009sirius51 - Sep 3, 2009
English Aboriginal feature article.

3 - Even an editorial should probably be a bit more comprehensive and tightly reasoned. The Australian government should make it...

Writing FeedbackBillmc - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 19, 2009
Learning from Electronic Media: GRE essay topic

6 - Well, if you post what you have so far, we can send you in the right direction with your...

Writing FeedbackKahollavan81 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Susan - Nov 1, 2012
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