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A SOCIETY IS BASED ON LAWS AND RULES. DISCUSS THE PERSON WHO WANT TO LIVE FREELY

3 - Again, try revising this essay yourself, focusing purely on eliminating all grammatical errors. Working out for yourself what is...

Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 10, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 11, 2009
Many Animal are getting extinct from this world, describe the ways to protect .

3 - Simone is right -- your grammatical mistakes are severe enough and frequent enough that they make reading your essays...

Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 10, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 11, 2009
Why should I be appointed a prefect of the school

3 - "He is generally extremely bright in his studies" "he has been considered to be a prefect of the school...

Essaysksameer58 - Sep 10, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 10, 2009
The Use of Animals for Medical Research

5 - "The use of animals in laboratory research is a very well known debate." Not so much. There is...

Essaysnathan1988 - Sep 9, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 10, 2009
Essay on a carpe diem quote

3 - Yeah, that shouldn't be too difficult for you. We should seize today because we cannot change yesterday or predict...

Writing Feedbackicemaster2340 - Sep 10, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 10, 2009
College admissions- "I was afraid to talk "

3 - its cool i was afraid to talk too still gets a little stage fright but im working on it....

Undergraduatetkkt1 - Sep 9, 2009icemaster2340 - Sep 10, 2009
National Merit Essay: "My First Gig"

2 - The subject of this essay is lively and compelling, but sentences like this rob it of its power....

Undergraduatewaylay00 - Sep 10, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 10, 2009
Essay Recounting a "Moment In Time"

5 - New essay, same prompt. Let me know what you think of this one and whether or not it answers...

Writing Feedbackdmitchell1991 - Sep 5, 2009dmitchell1991 - Sep 10, 2009
"Success is a ladder..." - UCF Admissions Essay!

4 - first of all, your thesis/argument is very general here. ad EF_Simone was telling you, the topic itself is overused...

UndergraduateR0xt0nM - Sep 9, 2009zowzow - Sep 10, 2009
'saving land for the endangered animals' - toefl IBT issue

7 - This is pretty nice essay for ibt Toefl. Your vocabulary is good. I like your conclusion part....

Writing Feedbackclaire echo - Sep 5, 2009linhexi - Sep 10, 2009
"Chronic osmotic stimuli" - PhD thesis

5 - I think there is some mutual conclusion going on. I know that I cannot understand what it is you...

Dissertationschetouisamir - Sep 9, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 10, 2009
"Asperger's Syndrome patients" - COMMON APP SHORT ANSWER

3 - Could you include the essay question and the word limit? Would be able to help better if I knew...

Undergraduatechrismckin - Sep 7, 2009Moonshadow0302 - Sep 10, 2009
The Brink of Insanity on a Submarine (University of Washington Transfer Essay)

5 - Thanks for the input..I'll post my next revision soon. I'm still trying to find a way to express how...

Undergraduatejbow808 - Sep 9, 2009jbow808 - Sep 10, 2009
'visited the funfair' - report writing

4 - Why have you posted this in the graduate admission essay section when it does not seem to be, in...

Research Paperssidra - Sep 9, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 9, 2009
A Separate Peace: Essay for 9th Grade (honors) English

6 - Hmmmm . . . "I'm right?" I appreciate the sentiment, but all I did was ask a series of...

Writing FeedbackNotoman - Sep 8, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 9, 2009
"faculty ratio and more" - UCF Admissions Essay

2 - while your first essay answers the prompt, its like this: WHY I WANT TO GO TO UCF: -nice...

UndergraduateFrankDaTank - Sep 9, 2009tal105 - Sep 9, 2009
MACHINES ARE BECOMING VERY SOPHISTICATED, WORKERS ARE BENEFIT FROM THAT,DISCUSS

4 - No, sorry. I can't rewrite your essay for you. Try to rewrite it yourself, using short, simple sentences. And...

Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 8, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 9, 2009
Carcarones and History Student of the Year Awards...

3 - Right, I see what you're saying. Thank you, I'll try that. I think I'm going to rewrite it...

Undergraduatemaryhpotter - Sep 7, 2009maryhpotter - Sep 9, 2009
the president of school television network - UIUC Essay #2

2 - Read your first sentence. It is in present tense even though you are talking about the past. Look at...

UndergraduatePositiveHao - Sep 9, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 9, 2009
What are the good things and bad things about the place you live in? (Toefl)

2 - This essay lacks a conclusion. Even if it's only a couple of sentences, be sure to include a summarizing...

Writing Feedbacksaurabhjain162 - Sep 9, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 9, 2009
Toefl topic--how is your generation different from your parents' generation?

4 - Nice essay, well structured, with few more examples u can improve it further....

Writing Feedbackmrarching - Sep 7, 2009xubis - Sep 9, 2009
"Don't just say it, do it", says my DAD; Person who had a significant influence on me

5 - My new essay- please helped me correct the grammar Describe a person who has had a significant influence...

UndergraduatePrBeGr - Sep 5, 2009PrBeGr - Sep 9, 2009
Sibling Rivalry/Cross-Country - UF Admission Essay

6 - You did a really good job. I agree with EF_Simone , 'unique individual' is redundant! High energy level throughout...

UndergraduateMalorieL - Aug 14, 2009rbz4real - Sep 9, 2009
How Do You Think Your University Study Will Affect Your Career In The Future

6 - Thanks i'il do that right away.i was wondering if you could help me with a befitting closing paragraph...

Undergraduatedexzy4 - Sep 7, 2009dexzy4 - Sep 9, 2009
"My parents focused on helping me" - UCF application

11 - I get nothing about family history or culture. Did your parents come from a country where it was hard...

UndergraduateBordonarov - Sep 6, 2009jgv115 - Sep 9, 2009
"Perseverance...sacrifice...selflessness..." - COMMON APP MAIN ESSAY

7 - thank you, will do...

Undergraduatejbd1992 - Sep 7, 2009jbd1992 - Sep 9, 2009
Changing Community (a problem of perception)

2 - I think your first sentence is redundant. Save space for more vivid details that you can write about. And...

Undergraduatetkkt1 - Sep 8, 2009eternal flame - Sep 9, 2009
"there is more to music than just the written word" - UF undergrad essay-> 1979

5 - Yeah that's where I kind of died in writing, kind of wrote this in one sitting so i figured...

UndergraduateNightmre1225 - Sep 8, 2009Nightmre1225 - Sep 8, 2009
Marching Band (My Essay For UF)

2 - This is not an essay. It's one long run-on paragraph. Break this into paragraphs. Along the way, proofread for...

UndergraduateKelz0 - Sep 8, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 8, 2009
"My love for Computers" - U of I #1

2 - How so? I think that you should omit this sentence because it's irrelevant. Omit that too....

Undergraduatenellyspageli - Sep 8, 2009Mayada - Sep 8, 2009
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