vangiespen
Nov 21, 2015
Writing Feedback / Period of 6 decades: Household Expenditures from 1950 to 2010 [2]
Muflih, since the chart presents figures from previous years, you should use past tense words and plural forms in the writing of your essay. Other than that small problem with your essay, it really is well developed. I would like to show you how to better write your essay though. I believe that there is room to improve the grammar content.
The pie chart provided indicates the proportion of money spent in households from the year 1950 - 2010. The 6 decade period represents most of the expenses was spent on housing in the 1950's. The year 2010 however, showed a shift to food expenses.
In the 1950's the residents of the unidentified country allocated only 7 % out of 10 % of the money earned to housing. Food expenses were seven times lower than this. Other household expenses were also allotted no more than 7% of the money allotted to household expenses.
This was a trend that was reversed over the next 6 decades with 22 % of earnings were already being allotted to the purchase of food, a 3 time increase in budget allotment. Transportation costs now rose to 14 % with other expenses receiving the remaining 19%, finding healthcare and education with the least expense allotment.
Muflih, since the chart presents figures from previous years, you should use past tense words and plural forms in the writing of your essay. Other than that small problem with your essay, it really is well developed. I would like to show you how to better write your essay though. I believe that there is room to improve the grammar content.
The pie chart provided indicates the proportion of money spent in households from the year 1950 - 2010. The 6 decade period represents most of the expenses was spent on housing in the 1950's. The year 2010 however, showed a shift to food expenses.
In the 1950's the residents of the unidentified country allocated only 7 % out of 10 % of the money earned to housing. Food expenses were seven times lower than this. Other household expenses were also allotted no more than 7% of the money allotted to household expenses.
This was a trend that was reversed over the next 6 decades with 22 % of earnings were already being allotted to the purchase of food, a 3 time increase in budget allotment. Transportation costs now rose to 14 % with other expenses receiving the remaining 19%, finding healthcare and education with the least expense allotment.