Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Technology supports working from home [5]

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employers.

Since 3 decades ago, technologies have changed people's life. Some sophisticated technologies allow employers to work at home rather than go to office. While this is true, I would claim that these modern devices, computers and modems, create problem in some tasks.

On the one hand, working at home by using technologies can be done for some office employers. An obvious example of this can be seen from Bob Sadino, the owner of modern supermarket "Kimchick", is sending email from home to their business partners. He utilizes a computer and modem to interact with all Kimchick's staffs, and monitors monetary transaction of cash register. He has much quality time to take breakfast and lunch with family and provides flexibility to work anywhere event in the oversea. If labors go to office, they have to spend the cost of transport and cannot control their children's academic progress. Obviously, working at home supplies efficiency and flexibility.

On the other hand, technologies sometimes have more of a hindrance than a help for workers in regular communication with colleague. The internet, for instance, needs large networking such as towers and fiber optic to transmit the data. In the obvious fact, Indonesia where does not have enough complex technology infrastructure is not lending an access for businessman/woman to integrate into the team in the different area. Second problem is technologies cannot change employ's figure to discuss and deal with stakeholder for win-win solution. It can be seen in dept that technologies have a gap for several duties.

In conclusion, it seems to me that technologies help workers to work from home, but several jobs cannot be done by using technology.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Office and technology / young people working - introduction paragraph [10]

Hello experts, I need your advice to build good introduction paragraph in IELTS writing task 2. Thanks in advance.

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employers.

Technology changes people's life. Some sophisticated technologies provide possibility for employers to work at home rather than going to office. As a result, some people believe that working from home brings many benefits for office workers. However, it can be felt that computers and modems help workers to do much working activities, while those technologies can be a hindrance for employers to commit with their responsibility.

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies.
What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?

Teenagers are the new generation power of nation. Young people in some countries do not have enough spare time, then they life in under line of happiness to do hard studies. In my eyes, most of people have a tendency that a degree of informal school is the main term to get a great future and the atmosphere of competition in class drives children getting stress. Thus, this case can be measure with a parental approach and physical activity to make balance the time between academic and leisure activities for their children.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: How to teachers' gender are taking part in the six different school [3]

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart indicates the proportion of teachers' gender in Nursey/Pre-school, Primary school, Secondary school, College, Private training institute and University. This research was conducted in the United Kingdom in 2010.

It is noticeable that the female teachers dominate as the highest percentage to compare with men teachers who have reverse figure. However, College is occupied by balance figure between male and female teachers.

The percentage of women teachers who taught at Pre-school and primary school was highest percentage at just above 80 percent, while the total of male teachers recorded the lowest percentage by approximately 5%. Standing in contrast, men who are being teacher at university showed the significant increase to more than 60 percent people.

A closer look at the data reveals that, teachers who gave contribution in Secondary School were led by females as the higher percentage than males figure, exceeding the teachers' figure of Private training institute was reverse. Interestingly, there was balance proportion between men and women teachers who were worked as a teacher in College at around 50 percent teachers.

176 words in 18 minutes.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Share expenditure for selected categories in four countries [9]

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

The bar chart shows how people in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom and Japan allocate different shares of amount spending to five basic need categories; food, housing, transportation, health care and clothing in 2009.

It is noticeable that Americans have the highest proportion of housing expenditure share, while Britons spend the lowest percentage of share spending on health care. However, the general figure can be seen that housing is the largest proportion of share expenditure component in all countries except Japan.

In Japan consumers paid out at just over 23 percent on food category and it was the largest percentage than food expenditure figure in the United Kingdom and Canada, between 20 % and approximately 15%. In any case, the percentage of food spending share in America was extremely lower than the total of American spending share on housing category which reached just over 25 per cent.

A closer look at the data reveals that Canadian spent much money for cost of transportation at around 20 percent of share expenditure, while Japanese recorded the lowest percentage on this category and it could be seen doubled amount of Canada's transportation figure. By contrast, the population of United Kingdom occupied the lowest percentage of health care sector, whereas the biggest percentage of clothes spending share was beaten by Canadian and Briton at around 5.5%.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Channel one news viewing figures [4]

The line graph illustrates the average daily viewing figures for Channel One News, namely the 1pm, 6pm, 9.30pm and 11pm News over a 12-month period, from January to December.

It is noticeable that the three News programs start in the beginning of year, while only the figure for 11pm begins in May. Standing in contrast, the 1pm, 6pm and 9.30pm News incline no longer significant over the year, but the figure for 11 pm News has a reverse figure.

In January, the number of 6pm New occupies the highest number of viewers in Channel one news at just over 4.5 million watchers, while the lowest number of viewers a day is sat by 1 pm News at about 1.2 million viewers. The figure for 9.30pm slowly increases from above 3 million viewers to around 3.8 million watchers between January and May, a rise of about 0.8 million audiences. However, after a short peak in April the figure for 6pm News slightly declines almost gaining same figure as 9.30pm News in May, whereas the millions of viewers per day for 1pm News stands without any significantly movement. In any case, the new program of Channel one news appears in May which is 11pm News and records 0.2 million viewers.

The figure for 11pm News has a gradual increases from just over 3.3 million to around 3.5 million watchers between May and July. It climbs a slight incline and reaches a peak at around 4.1 million viewers a day in August, exceeding the total of viewers for 9.30pm News programs plummet, hitting a low-point of 1.1 in the same period. On the other hand, the general trends for 6pm News downwards until November. Having said that, following 12 months there are no longer significant increasing for three News programs, while the figure for 11pm News declines gradually throughout and ends the year at just under 1 million viewers per day.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS: Pizza, fish and chips consumed by Australian Teenagers [5]

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph compares the amount of fast food consumed by teenagers in Australia for three different meals, namely; pizza, fish and chips, and hamburgers between 1957 and 2000.

It is clear that the consumption of fish and chips records as the highest number of eating times per year, while the amount of pizza consumed is the reverse in the first period. However, the consumption of fish and chips declines, although the amount of hamburgers and pizza consumed inclines dramatically over the period.

In 1975, the number of fish and chips consumed was the higher than hamburgers and pizza, at 100 times a year. However, the consumption of hamburgers increased dramatically from just under 20 times a year to 50 times a year between 1975 and 1980, a rise of around 30 times a year. In the year 1985, the number of consumed fish and chips, and hamburgers broke the same record by merely 90 times a year.

A closer look at the data reveals that the consumption of pizza and, fish and chips had the same figure in 1990, at just over 60 times a year. Exceeding, the number of pizza consumed remained reasonably stable by approximately 80 times a year between 1995 and 2000. It finished that the number of hamburgers consumed was in the same level as fish and chips began, with consumption at 100 times a year.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The number of visitors to three London museums. [8]

The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph compares regarding the number of tourists to 3 London museums from June to September 2013.

It is clear that there are three museums; British, Science and Natural history museum. British museum records the same level between the first and the last period, and holds the highest number of visitors all the periods, while three museums have a significant increase in September.

In June, the highest number of travelers was recorded by the British museum at 600.000 visitors, whereas the Natural history museum caught by nearly 400 thousands visitors. In any case, the number of visitors who came in British museum reached a short of peak by merely 800 thousands in July 2013. However, the millions of visitors who visited at Science and Natural history museums dropped just under 400 thousands tourists.

A closer look at the data reveals that two museums which are located in London declined just under 500 thousands of tourists in August, whereas only the number of travelers in Science museum remained reasonably stable from July to August, at 480.000 visitors. Exceeding, in September there was a sharp incline of tourists in the three museums, at just over 400 thousand visitors. In dept analyzing, British museum had gradual rebound to the same figure in the first period of the summer season.

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Writing Feedback / Task 1 : Line graph essay of expenditure on phone services in America [4]

The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.
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The line graph illustrates the average yearly the costumer spending by American on mobile and landline phone services over the 10-year period.

It is clear that spending on landline services have a dramatic decline, while on mobile services increase slightly at a decade. However, both of services broke at the same record in 2006.

In 2001, on mobile phone services began by merely $200, while the greatest amount of annual expenditure was reached by the residential phone services around $700. Over the following 5 years, on cell phone services steadily dropped at just over $600, whereas on landline phone services were the reserve figure.

A closer look at the data reveals that on both types of phone service had paid out the same amount of money spending just over $500 by Americans in 2006. Exceeding, on mobile phone services rose by approximately $750 in 2010, but an average on residential phone services recorded a significant fall which was just over half this amount.

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