Unanswered [9]
  

Posts by thinhtvdhtm
Joined: Sep 17, 2009
Last Post: Jan 29, 2010
Threads: 41
Posts: 96  
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 137 / page 1 of 4
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thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 17, 2009
Writing Feedback / 'advantages outweigh annoyance' - people have a close friendship with their pets [5]

Recently, some animals such as birds, dogs, cats and so on have appeared in families more commonly, and they are often looked after by their bosses as members in their families. It is believed that having pets in household has many advantages, which will be approved by analyzing several reasons below.

First of all, having pets such as dogs, cats are very good for children. Nowadays, parents are often busy with their work, and of course, the more work they do, the less time they have for their own children. When they breed pets in their houses, their children can play with them, and their parents have more time for doing homework. Playing with pets children can learn many things from them; moreover, in stead of playing lonely, being in isolated, they become happy.

In addition, not only good for children, having pets in families can brings many benefits for adults. In the 21st century, people always try to do more work in less time; consequently, they don't have enough time for meeting friends. Many people like talking to their pets as their friends in space time, which they believe that can help them reduce stress, tension, anxiety. Especially, with people who live alone they always treat pets as their friends, relatives, members in their families. They often do every thing with pets: having meals, watching television, even go to bed together. For them, pets are a part of their lives.

Last but not least, pets sometimes save people' lives. In some emergency cases, people can not manage by them selves, ask a hand from others; however, their pets fortunately can help them to respond in time. For example, my grandmother has heart disease and whenever this disease is active, she often gets faint. I do remember that was 2 years ago, when my grandmother went to bed, while the rest members in my families were watching film in the living room. Suddenly, my dog barked so loudly that we startled, and I felt some things happened. Then I ran into my grandmother's bed room immediately, she was lying on the floor and we took her to hospital. Thanks to my dog, it saved my grand mother.

To sum up, making decision to have pets in families is wise. Although, sometimes they can make us annoyed, I believe that advantages outweigh annoyance.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 17, 2009
Writing Feedback / the way to achieve good health and fitness in modern society [2]

In some societies it is common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically sports, special diets, or preventative medicine conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
i am preparing for ielts tests, but my writing skill is not good, i hope you can help me to check this essay, thanks so much

Our health is the only thing we really have in the world. We can be taken away our money, clothes or houses we still survive: however, without health, we can not be in existence. Therefore, some people hold opinion that we should do sports, have good diet, and use preventative medicine to get healthier. Others, however, believe that having a normal life is the best way to achieve a healthy and fit body. Personally, I definitely agree with the former. In the following paragraphs, I will give my reasons to support my point of view.

To begin with, in modern society, we are becoming busier for our jobs; therefore, we should try to play sports to contribute to a healthier, fitter body. Nowadays, most work requires people with some certain skills; hence, during office time, we work with our brains mainly, our bodies may not move enough as we used to before with manual work. And of course, only with equal both physical and metal can bring our good health. When we do exercises in the gym or play sports in sport center, our bodies have to move a lot. So, we can burn energy, it makes us stronger and helps us to equal them. For example, 2 months ago, I used to play computer games after work; thus, my health was not often in good condition. However, after then instead of playing computer games, I went to gym to do exercises, and now I feel much better.

In addition, we should care about our diet. With development of technology, there are not only more types of a certain kind of food, but also many others created and they make our lives more convenient. Nevertheless, preprocessed or cooked foods often contain high fat, sugar which is not good for health. Moreover, people now often go to market and get foods and vegetable for whole week; consequently, they are alleviated freshness, quality as they are.

However, other people believe that getting a normal life is the best way to become healthier and fitter. It would be right if they were living in the eighteenth century. They forget that we are living in 21th century, it is really different: lifestyles, foods, work, and environment. It is wrong when they bring the things in past to apply in the modern world.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that to possess a healthier and fitter body we should play sports, do exersices and have a suitable diet.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 17, 2009
Student Talk / How to improve English writing? Learning through reading. [130]

i agree with chen that the biggest problem is that students often try to translate from their own language into english. moreover, their vocabulary and grammer is not very good, they develop topic sentences not well
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 17, 2009
Writing Feedback / Toefl--- fossil fuels will soon be replaced? [7]

the format of your essay is good, but i think u should not write" i'm" you should write "i am".

moreover are u sure that fossil fuel is abundant? i dont think so.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 17, 2009
Writing Feedback / When a huge factory is built, the job demand is high, and it attracts thousand persons to move there [6]

when i read the introduction, i can guest what is going on in the next parts.you should say in this part:there are advantages and disadvantages of building...however i believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks (or somethings like that) which will be approved by analyses below.

oh, nearly forget to say that when u say somethings not sure, u should use:can, may...not use present simple tense
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 17, 2009
Writing Feedback / motherhood and father hood [4]

i am preparing for ielts. my writing is not good, and i am really worried about that.thank in advance for your reading.

Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In the twentieth century, men and women should be treated in the same way; women have the same chance to develop their own careers as men do. Besides, in families, fatherhood should be as important as motherhood. It is unfair that women have to solely take responsibility to have babies and look after the children. It will be approved by the following analysis.

To begin with, making decision for having babies is one of the most important one in family life. As far as we know, the children are the greatest bridge among partners, and people can not access the real happiness without children. Consequently, whether to have or not babies should be the responsibility for both. Most couples think that the best time to have children is when they can meet viable material needs of their children and have enough time to take care of the children; because, they always want to bring the best thing for their spring off.

Moreover, how to bring the children up, and teach them become well behaved children is the responsibility for both fatherhood and motherhood. It is sure that the role of fatherhood and mother hood is different in family; however, both of them are the same important. It is very unequal that women are responsible solely. Like men, women have their own careers, they have to work at office; thus, why men do not take care of children and women have to do that. In fact, children without their fathers' care, they are not more likely become obeyed children. It is always considered that partners should together bring them up and teach them become good people in the future.

To sum up, it is better that both men and women have the same opportunity to achieve their own goals as well as take responsibility to look after their children and make their families happier.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / motherhood and father hood [4]

thanks so much. in your view, how much scores my essay can achieve.i am really worried about my writing.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / discuss advantages and disadvantages of building a new shopping center [4]

i am preparing for ielts. writing is the weakest point.could u check detail for me, pl? and according to your appreciation, how many scores can i achieve? thank so much.

Discuss advantages and disadvantages of building new shopping center.

It is comment considered that nothing in the world is perfect, and every thing always comes at a price. Building a new shopping center is not an exception; it brings many benefits and drawbacks for communities. They will be analyzed in this essay.

From the one side, a new shopping center contributes communities to become better in several aspects. First of all, people living in that neighborhood can go shopping more convenient. For example, before building a new shopping center in my community, we used to spend driving hours for shopping because there was no shopping center. However, it now takes me only ten minutes for walk for going shopping, and it helps me save not just time, but money for petrol. In addition, local authorities can collect bigger avenue from taxes which is needed to improve infrastructure in their communities. It is more likely to upgrade public services such as training and education, health services, public transportation, which contributes to improve living standard in these areas.

From the other side, it is believed that new construction can destroy landscapes. To begin with, when a new shopping center built, it attract more people from other neighborhoods come there. And as a result the air becomes more polluted by shoppers' individual vehicles: smokes and noise from engines. Besides, there will more traffic jams result in more cars coming from others regions, streets become more congested, and cars park every where in roads.

To sum up, there are many advantages and disadvantages when a new shopping center built. Personally, I believe that benefits for outweigh drawbacks.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / discuss advantages and disadvantages of building a new shopping center [4]

thanks so much for your comment.i will try to avoid errors with "s".however, im am wondering would u mind checking more detail for grammar, the sentence structures,logic? in your view, how many scores i can achieve for this essay? thanks
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / students should get jobs or not? why or why not? 'to be more confident' [3]

i am preparing for ielst, however i think my writing is not good. could you give me more comment about: my grammar, sentence structure, logic, and so on, thanks so much

Students should have jobs during university. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there are many changes in national education system all over the world; students' duties are becoming harder and more sophisticated. Some people, therefore, consider that students should spend all time for study. However, others encourage students to get jobs. Personally, I think that getting jobs during university brings many advantages for them, which will be proved by the following analysis.

To begin with, having jobs helps students manage their own time better, which is very important and useful skill throughout their lives. When they have jobs, it means that they have to do two things at the time; thus, they must learn how to spend their time more effectively to meet requirements and tasks for work and study. As a result, they can learn by themselves skill to manage time, which contributes them to get their own achievements in the future.

In addition, students can not just apply, but improve their knowledge and experience. When students get jobs related to their major, they will have chances to apply theoretical things into practice. They may learn some things which they cannot get at university. Of course, when they apply jobs after university, they are more likely to have advantages than others candidates

Last but not least, they can earn money from jobs. They may reduce supports from their parents and become more economically independent. They will afford to buy more books, clothes and so on, which help them more confident.

To sum up, I strongly believe that there are many benefits when students have jobs.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / students should get jobs or not? why or why not? 'to be more confident' [3]

thank DJKessler very much. your comment encourages me very much; because, my teacher often says that my essays are very bad. any way, thanks so much.

oh, as far as we know, there are 2 parts in ielts writing test; however, i do not know any websites where i can post my writing task 1 for comment.if u know, pl give me ?thanks for your help
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 19, 2009
Writing Feedback / the main purposes of a country's education system [6]

i am preparing for ielts, i want to improve my writing, could you check detail for me? about grammar, sentence structures, logic, and so on!thanks in advance.

The main purpose of a country's education system is to prepare young people for particular types of work rather than to help them develop independent thinking individuals. What is your view?

Nowadays, the globalization has happened rapidly, levels of competitiveness is also higher, and almost work requires people with some certain skills. Consequently, some people claim that national education systems concentrate on ranging the young for particular kinds of work. Others, however, believe that countries' education system contribute to develop independent thinking individuals. I strongly support the latter for several reasons

To begin with, through encouraging students thinking more independently contributes to make them become more creative, the key factor for their successes in the future. If education systems concentrate on ranging for the young for a particular kinds of work, young people will seem to receive knowledge passively without creation. As far as we know, most successful people are creative, therefore to help the young be able to succeed in the competitive global economy, national education system should arm to encourage young people to think and do what they love

Moreover, in real fact, It can be seen clearly that purposes of education systems concentrate on improving creativeness, independent thinking rather than for a particular types of work. When you enter university, you have chosen your major before; nevertheless, you still have to study others subjects belonging to other majors, which is consider helping you improve your capabilities. When you study many different kinds of subjects, which help you access various knowledge and experience, moreover you can understand and appreciate issue you face. in most universities, some skill subjects arm to improve creativeness, skill for team working and make manager decision have

been teaching.. Take me for example, my major is business administration, however, in fact, I not just study subjects involved management, I also study others such as marketing, account, culture which seems not involved my major, which, however, help me access creation, independent thinking

In conclusion, I definitely believe that the goal of national education concentrating on improving independent thinking of individual is wise.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 20, 2009
Writing Feedback / how can school help new students get accustomed to new environment? [6]

i am preparing for ielts, i am really worried about my writing skill, could u help me check my vocabulary, sentence structures, logic? thank you very much?

When students move to a new school, they sometimes face problems. How can schools help these students with their problems?

Students who move to a new school often confront with many problems; it is very important for them to get accustomed as soon as possible. Some students find it really easy; however, others' adaptation is not as good as their friends'. Consequently, schools should help them come through this experience successfully.

To begin with, in the first weeks, schools should give some orientation course which help freshman get involved with new environment. Advisors or administrators should take them on a tour of school and show them around should. Advisors should tell them about the school' history, how to access facilities in the school such as gyms, library, access computer, carteen, the rule they have to follow, and so on.

Besides, schools should help them find accommodation. Most new students wonder that whether they should live in hostel or rent a flat outside the school campus; therefore, School advisors can show the both advantages and disadvantages of these kinds of accommodation. School should arrange place in campus area for students who want to live in school, and help others who prefer living outside school to find place for living.

Last but not least, schools should constitute clubs, outside activities to make a good environment for students participate. When these students attend, they have more chance to make friend with others.

To sum up, the role of school is very important to help new students get accustomed to new environment
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 20, 2009
Writing Feedback / toefl -- needed land / protecting environment [5]

We need more natural land(s) because we (need) more trees to protect our country from drought. As (far as ) we all know, (trees can avoid the water flowing away) i dont understand this sentence., and they can also create the oxygen we need every day. However, according to a report(ed), 80% of the original/virgin natural land has become farm land in the late 70's, which is the result (not of) in over cutting. At first, only some farmers cut down trees to plant their crops in order to feed their family. While, as these farmers realized that (not plant)planting additional crops would offer them more profits, they started to cut amount of trees down. Even though there ( not is) has been a remarkable improvement since Chinese government carried out the policy of returning farm land back to forest, not all of them can be return to the condition they had bee
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 20, 2009
Writing Feedback / toefl -- success and luck [7]

personally, i think you should not to many pronoun such as:i you we in essays
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 20, 2009
Writing Feedback / students should take apart in lecture or not? why? [4]

please check for me more detail, my grammar, sentence structures, logic? thank u very much

Some students like classes where teachers lecture (do all of the talking) in class. Others prefer classes where students do some of the talking. Which type of class you like? Why?

In the last few years, there have been many reformation in my own country' education system, and one of the most outstanding changes is in teaching method. In stead of lectures where teachers talk all time, there are now always some presentations made by students during the class. Personally, I thinks these reformations have made education system in my country better, and this new teaching method is not good for me, but for most students.

To begin with, when students attend tuitions, they can have more chance to upgrade their own capabilities. In order to finish the topic which their teachers give them, they have to work in group, read many kinds of different material, collect data for their presentation. When they work together in group, they can learn skill for working together, which very useful for them not just during college, but after school. They also can improve their reading skill and technique to gather information.

In addition, making representation front of crowd help them become more confident. For example, when I was a student at high school, I always became nervous whenever speaking front of class. However, thanks to new teaching method, now I do not mind speaking in front of crowd.

Last but not least, the new teaching method make lecture more interesting for students. In class, students can discuss some things involved subjects, they have more chance to express their own ideas.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 26, 2009
Writing Feedback / how can school help new students get accustomed to new environment? [6]

thanks mrchildchil!
ielts 8 band, it means that your english is excellent. in your opinion, with this essay, how many scores i can achieve? thank so much! i am preparing for ielts but i find that writing essay is really difficult for me! how can i upgrade this skill? thanks again
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 27, 2009
Writing Feedback / Personal life of famous person is no longer "personal" [5]

With the remarkable development of public media, the personal life of famous person is no longer "personal". Personally, I do not agree with the statement thay today's television, newspaper, magazines and other media pay too much attention to them.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 27, 2009
Writing Feedback / why movies have become a part of life [3]

i am preparing for ielts , i am really worried about my writing. pl check for me grammar, sentence structures and logic. thanks in advance

Why movies are becoming popular all over the world?

There is no doubt that movie is one of the most powerful media means in the history of mankind. In the modern society, movies are popular and also becoming a part of our lives. There are several main reasons explaining for the popularity of movies.

First of all, watching movies is one of the most popular entertainment activities in the modern society. According to statistics, people often spend a large proportion of their free time on movies; because, when they watch movies, they can eliminate anxiety, strain, stress from work, family and feel more comfortable, relax.

In addition, people can achieve and upgrade their own experience and knowledge from watching movies. People can learn about the past such as history, the life in the past, what happened through historical movies. They can not just learn those things about their own countries, but also from others. For example, when a person watch a western movies, he or she can have chance to know about histories, lifestyles, and so on of western countries, which depend on what kinds of movies he or she watch.

Last but not least, people can learn languages when they watch foreign movies. Take me for example, when I was a student, I did not find a good, interesting way to learn English. However, now I often watch English or American movies in my free time, and I find that my English is improved day by day, especially listening skill.

In conclusion, movies have brought many benefits to people. Watching movies is not only a leisure activity, but also a good way to improve knowledge for every one.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 28, 2009
Writing Feedback / why movies have become a part of life [3]

dear Moderators, i have posted several essays, but i have not received any feedback from you. i also know that feedback from others members is useful; however, i think that it will be much better if i can receive at least feedback from one of you. because sometimes, i wonder whether other members' advice is good or not? i hope i can get your feedback as soon as possible. any way, thanks in advance!
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 29, 2009
Writing Feedback / Music can kill much time if people are bored - sound is part of our lives [2]

Sometimes I really believe that music has a power which can make people relaxed. Almost everyone listen(s) to music everyday, we will be happy when we hear our favourite song. Sounds like a magic,right? But it dose.

in essay u should avoid using i, we, you if it is possible
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 29, 2009
Writing Feedback / Solution to the global climate change [2]

please check for me more detail, for my grammar, sentence structures, and logic.
thanks so much

Only Government Can Save Humans



Scientists and news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. What are your views?

It is an unquestioned principle that has dominated international thinking for the last decades: the global temperature is increasing. Scientists have urged governments to take some measures to prevent the green house emission which is considered as main cause. Simultaneous, politicians and environmentalists also urged individuals to change their lifestyle. Personally, I strongly believe that governments and residents should take responsibility for this problem is more likely successful.

First of all, only governments can control production process of industries which are consider that account a large percentage of green house emissions. In the last few decades, industrial development is at a higher rate, and it is clear that the more plants are established, the more waste they give off. Governments can use some measures to discourage the industrial pollution such as: raising the tax for using fossil fuel, encouraging industries use biology energy, or using high technological equipment to meet standard about waste treatment systems. Moreover, it may be more successful when there is cooperation between governments around the word.

In addition, the solutions for this issue will be more effective when individuals change their lifestyles. Individuals can contribute to reduce the changes in the global climate through changing their habits such as: using public transport system in stead of their own cars, saving energy like electricity, petrol and so on. When people leave their car at home, which help reduce pollution and save energy.

To sum up, the governmental solution to this problem will be more efficient when there is a combination between government and individuals to take responsibility.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 30, 2009
Writing Feedback / Toefl iBT writing - Integrated task: Global warming [12]

hi tuan, are u viennamese? i have ever read your several essay, and i find that your writing is very good? i am wondering that could u tell me what are u studying? in your own opinion, how to writing more effectively. i am preparing for ielts test, but i am very worried about my writing. anyway, thanks so much.

oh, nearly forget to say, thank to your essay, i wrote an essay about this topic but i did it not well due to lack of information. thanks so muh
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 30, 2009
Writing Feedback / happiness definition and factors influence in achieving happiness - consensus of opinions [4]

please check for my grammar, structures and logic. thank so much

Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?


There is no double that every one, all over the world, always pursues happiness, which is considered that it is very important for our lives. Thus, What happiness is, how to achieve it are the controversial questions. In this essay, I will analyze happiness definition and factors which influence on acquiring happiness.

Obviously, it is really very difficult to achieve a perfect concept about happiness; because, it depends on several different factors such as which places people live, their cultures, their own views. There are several international research implemented during the last few decades; however, researchers have not acquired a perfect definition, and had the consensus of opinions. Some people link happiness to money, material demands; while, others link to emotions, personal relationships, personal achievement. For other one, the word "happiness" has no precise equivalent in some languages, and other complication is satisfaction.

In the real life, there are some factors which influence on the way people can achieve happiness such as personal achievement, personal relationships, their cultures, families and work. For example, in western countries, happiness often seems as a reflection of personal achievement, and they seem unhappy when they cannot achieve the most in their own lives. However, in Asia, people acquire happiness when they do not feel inferior or guilty. Nevertheless, if someone cannot have those conditions, it does not mean that they are unhappy, unsatisfied.

In conclusion, the answers for crucial questions about happiness: what happiness is how to achieve it, depend on many different factors.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 2, 2009
Writing Feedback / College or univeristy's benefits [8]

In high school, we learn basic and general knowledge of many subjects. But in university, we will learn and research deeply about the stream which you will work with in the future. i think the first sentence is not a topic sentence. it must be:

In high school, we learn basic and general knowledge of many subjects;however, in university, we will learn and research deeply about the stream which you will work with in the future

note that:never use and, but in essay at the begining of sentence.

on whole, i like yours. good luck
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 2, 2009
Writing Feedback / talent is a natural gift or from practice [3]

pl check for my mistake more detail, i will happy when i can see my own mistakes.
thanks in advance

It is general believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport, music, and other are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

The question that whether creative people are born with their natural talents or they become successful through a long road of working hard is controversial. Personally, I believe that People who are born with natural talents find what they are passionate about and will succeed quickly at the hobby. Others can do the same hobby but will struggle and have to work extra hard to become good at what they are doing.

From the one side/on the on hand, there is no doubt that genius are born with their own talents. Take Mozart, one of the greatest composer music all over the world, for example, When he was just 5 years old, Mozart started composing small and beautiful melodious numbers. At the age of six, Mozart and his elder sister performed in many concerts in European Courts.

From the other side/ on the other hand, to acquire achievements in creative people's lives, they have to study and research like others. It is obviously that geniuses also have to attend school, university as well as need support form teachers. The outstanding difference between geniuses and other people is the speed of learning.

In my own country, there is a statement that "success is combined with on percentage of intelligence and 99% of hard -working". Personally, I strongly believe that creative people are born with talents; moreover, through studying, their talents seen to be upgraded and help them achieve outstanding success in their lives. Without practice, it is more likely that their talents to be ignored.

In conclusion, talent is the most essential factor to make a genius; moreover, with practical process, this talent can be effective.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 3, 2009
Writing Feedback / College or univeristy's benefits [8]

hi, in the next month, i have to take ielts exam. however, i am not really confident for writing and speaking.i have never found any websites which help me improve writing for task 1 in ielst format. could u help me! anyway, thank in advance.

have a good time at the mid autumn festival.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / talent is a natural gift or from practice [3]

thanks so much EF_Sean. i know that in this essay, i wrote not well. it is a pretty difficult. could you give me more suggestion help me make it better.

thanks so much

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