Writing Feedback / Child punishment as a way of teaching morality [5]

A "tool" of moral education for children

Hi Everyone! Can you evaluate my essay and give some feedback? Thanks in advance.

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them to learn this distinction.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

It is one of the most vital duties of parents to start teaching their children to tell right from wrong from a very young age. Punishment may seem the most effective and the easiest way of doing so. However, I`m strongly convinced that we should avoid this method of moral education, because its side effects outweigh the benefits.

The first reason why it isn`t a good idea to punish your offspring in order to help them learn moral rules is it usually entails many negative consequences initially unintended by the parents. Punishment, whether it is physical or emotional can cause serious health problems and deep psychological traumas. In fact, some individuals spend their entire lives to overcome them. Furthermore, although reward and punishment system might sound perfect theoretically, in reality parents usually are inconsistent at their actions and they also fail to make punishment fit the crime most of the time due to the changes in their moods. It can make the children confused, because they generally have no clue about what to expect when they misbehave again. In other words, they can be grown into insecure and anxious people who consider the world as a chaotic place where no prediction is possible.

There is another vital drawback to this kind of teaching. It can mistakenly get children to associate morality with pleasure and stop them from becoming autonomous moral beings who act in a particular way not because it is commonly acceptable by others, but because it is the right thing to do. Most of the individuals who have been raised with this method tend to never quit their comfort zones, which in turn might occasionally mean to behave immorally, for instance , to neglect injustice if it doesn`t harm them. On the other hand, they may change their behavior patterns flexibly as soon as no one observes them. That is, if these people can escape penalty, they will probably cheat.

To summarize, I believe that it is not acceptable to use punishment as a tool of moral education for children. First of all, it can damage them both physically and psychologically. Also, it may lead to the misconceptions about morality.

Writing Feedback / Two different recruiting criteria [2]

employers' priority when choosing somebody to work

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

Employing the right person for the position is one of the key elements which makes companies more competitive. I believe that hirers should prioritize not only candidates` academic credentials and previous work experiences, but also their characters.

On the one hand, it seems quite reasonable to hire the people whose qualifications are in line with the actual job. In fact, some occupations require specific skills and talents which necessarily involve a huge commitment. For example, for being a qualified doctor, one should get proper education and have at least 1 year of practical experience. If the recruiter fails to find the person who is a good match for the requirements in such sensitive jobs, it may have a negative influence on the reputation of the company in long-term.

On the other hand, I think that personality should be taken into account while hiring a new worker. There are some jobs that are based on team work, while the others are more individualistic. That is the reason why character should play an important role for companies when they have to decide whom to employ. For instance, programmers don`t need to be sociable and talkative , whereas if you are planning to work as a salesperson, you should have excellent communication skills. Personally, when I was working as a salesperson, it took me quite a long time to adapt to the team spirit because of my introversy.

So, in my view, both professional and personal qualities should be considered main criteria by the interviewers when they asses the candidates.

Writing Feedback / Challenges of learning a new language [4]

foreign language STUDY - ISSUES, EXPERIENCES

Many people believe that learning a foreign language is a very difficult task. What are the most difficult things about learning a foreign language? What is the best way to overcome them? Explain and include your personal experience or knowledge of these problems.

It is true that a large number of people find it hard to acquire a new language. Although the second language learners might face several difficulties, there are some useful methods to deal with them.

One of the most frequent problems the language learners go through is comprehension. Despite of the good vocabulary knowledge, they struggle a lot to understand the native speakers. However, speaking the language which is completely different from your native one is probably much more challenging, because it involves both cognitive and motor skills. In other words, you have to think and act at the same time. That's why it takes non-native speakers great effort to become fluent in the foreign languages.

Hopefully, there are some helpful ways of removing the obstacles to this learning process. First of all, it is necessary to expose yourself to the language you're studying as much as possible. Also, it is important to listen to or read the things you're really passionate about. Personally, I've improved my understanding of English by watching open lectures on Youtube and reading a lot of interesting articles and books in English. However, you may not get the same results in speaking with this method only. In order to express your thoughts effortlessly, you should practice speaking in the targeted language at least an hour a day. For example, my speaking ability has been enhanced, since I started talking to myself in English on a daily basis.

In conclusion, learning a new language may seem tough for various reasons, such as difficulties in understanding and speaking , while using some strategies may help us through these problems.

Writing Feedback / Encouraging the young people to live alone - is it a good idea? [3]

How to deal with youngsters

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Parents have different views on how to treat youngsters as they grow up. Some think that it is better for them not to live alone, whereas others prefer leaving them to their own devices. Inspite of some disadvantages, I think, parents should let the young people leave home when they get older.

On the one hand, the parents who are against separating have several reasons for it. They believe the young tend to be anxious and impulsive, which can get them to lead an unhealthy lifestyle. In other words, without being supervised, they might end up having bad habits, such as alcoholism and drug addiction. Furthermore, people who start living on their own at young ages may gradually lose the bonds with the family. As a result, they can neglect their parents, when they are in need of care.

On the other hand, there are many parents who actually inspire their children to depart from home and discover the real world. Firstly, it helps the young people gain the efficient coping mechanisms for survival. It means they become more adaptive to new circumstances. Secondly,while living alone, the youngsters can learn how to make decisions independently. For instance, managing the spendings alone will enhance not only their decision-making abilities, but also the sense of responsibility. Finally, being able to deal with such difficulties can boost one's confidence. For example, when I achieve my goals without any support, I feel more self-assured.

In conclusion, although it can sometimes result in bad behaviour, I think, the benefits of living alone from young ages far outweigh the drawbacks.

Writing Feedback / Which one is better: STEM or STEAM? [3]

evaluating school curriculum

Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience.

In the last decades, test-based assessment has pushed the fine arts further toward the margins. However, I think that art subjects are integral parts of learning and they should be added to every school curriculum for several reasons.

Firstly, the arts may help learners develop essential skills which will certainly carry over into their education, career and other parts of life. Assuming the latest technological advances, creativity and decision making skills are probably the best outcomes of art-based education, as they are less likely to be replicated by robots. Art subjects, such as painting and creative writing , get students to use their own imagination and express themselves freely which is almost impossible in academic subjects. Also, these kinds of disciplines teach children how to make decisions and solve problems independently. For example, while writing , they should decide on the content and deal with the technical problems on their own.

Secondly, providing art classes at schools can actually improve the academic performance. Most of the art subjects, particularly music seem to make unique contributions to brain development. For instance, in my country, many parents, especially the wealthy ones encourage their children to learn to play any particular musical instrument, because it is widely accepted to make them smarter as they grow up. That`s why there is also a growing tendency to incorporate art into the way other subjects are learned.

In conclusion, I believe that the arts are necessary for a well-rounded education, as they can provide students with a variety of skills they will need as adults.

Writing Feedback / Two different attitudes towards old people [4]

Care and support for the elderly

Some people believe that the government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

People have different views on how to treat the elders. For some of them, they should be provided with a pension, while others are against the government regulations and think that everyone should set some money aside for their retirement. In my opinion, the government should offer financial support to retirees.

There are several reasons why old people should receive the government`s care. Firstly, if the elderly have worked and paid taxes before they retire, they deserve adequate public funding. They shouldn`t be just thrown away because of the lack of productivity. Secondly, saving for retirement is not an option for the vast majority of the world`s population. For instance, in my country, a large number of people who work for low wages barely afford their living expenses. Life can become unbearable for these people, as soon as they grow old. As a result of industrialization which has a negative effect on family values, more parents are seemed to be neglected by their children. It means that their help is also to be excluded. In such cases, the government support is a matter of life and death.

On the other hand, some argue that the elders who haven`t saved for the retirement may be a heavy burden to country`s economy. They believe that the government can invest in more beneficial areas instead of financing the people unable to generate any profit. In other words, saving can help the government to balance its budget. Another reason why some people consider the retirement provision crucial is the concern about free market. In their opinion, it is better to reduce state intervention as much as possible in order to enable the market to create its own care mechanisms for the older people.

In conclusion, although saving can have some advantages to it, I believe that the government should take care of the elderly.

Writing Feedback / Housework sharing between women and men [2]

Household chores responsibility

Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Over the last decades, women have become a great force in the economy of many countries. They now work full time as men and this raises a question of dividing up the housework equally between them. I agree that partners should help each other with the chores, but it shouldn`t be imposed on everyone as a strict norm.

On the one hand, the career success hasn`t completely changed woman`s position in family. She may be still expected to do the all housework even after an exhausting work day. In fact, modernization has probably doubled the burden of women. In order to ease it, domestic chores should be shared between men and women. Also, by doing the housework together, parents may become good role models for their children, as a result of which next generations can become more unbiased against women. For example, a friend of mine who has been brought up in a rigid patriarchal family thinks that it is a woman`s duty to do the household chores.

On the other hand, I think that the uniqueness of every household and the consent between men and women should be taken into account. Couples themselves should decide on how to divide the work and it should be always based on the consent of both sides. In other words, if the woman is eager to do more housework than the man, we have no right to force them to evenly share the work. It can have a negative impact on a relationship, as partners will focus on equality rather than helping each other in a kind way.

All things considered, I believe both men and women should be responsible for carrying out the chores, because it may lighten women`s load. However, we should keep an open mind, so that breaking down the old prejudice wouldn`t lead us to a new one.

Writing Feedback / Different amount of holiday entitlement [2]

number of holiday days depended from a job type?

Some say that people working in different job roles should get different amount of holiday time. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience.

Some people think that the number of holiday days should vary according to occupations, which is based on the assumption that some of them are more demanding than the others. But, I believe we need to adopt a more egalitarian approach in workplaces.

Firstly, the amount of time off one needs is quite subjective. So, any decision can lead to the disputes among workers. Most employees tend to regard their own jobs more exhausting than that of others`. Also, some of them might get tired easily, because they do almost the same things every day. For example, although I enjoyed my previous job, it became monotonous after several months. So, I needed to take a break in order to make it exciting again. Besides, mentally demanding jobs can be as hard as physically demanding ones. That is why it is difficult to determine which kinds of occupations deserve more vacation.

Secondly, when people take less holiday they may not be able to fully restore their energy. At the same time, the ones who get more time off can find it hard to readapt to the work. Both can have a negative impact on the productivity and the motivation of employees. So, I think there is an average time limit in which employees may regain their energy and still conform to the workplace quickly. This limit can have slight variations from person to person, but it is usually the same for majority. Therefore, there is no need to discriminate people on the grounds of their job positions. It would be better to apply the same sufficient amount of holiday time which will satisfy nearly everybody.

In conclusion, I disagree that different occupations should be entitled to different number of holiday days, because it is arguable which job roles deserve more of them. Also, it can negatively affect the overall performance of workers, even the ones who get more holiday entitlement than others.