Letters /
FILLED SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATION - academic study/training related awards, prizes or publications [5]
Hai @digaprasiska
I have several comments related to your writing structure.
Firstly, you have to write
" I " (personal pronoun) in capital letter and you are not allowed to write " i "
Secondly, .... still managed my time
to joined.... You should choose either "joining" or "to join". Don't use -ed form after "to".
Then,
Even I was not the best, at least i have tried. I think that you should use "even though" or "although" to replace "Even", because if you still use "even" then the meaning of your statement will be different.
... and got
funded in 2012. I suggest you to use "funding". Particularly for this part, you can give additional information about your business plan that got funding from one of the ministry in Indonesia. You can explain about your business plan, in what sector your business is, or tell about how succesful your business is now. I think it will give more additional value for you personally.
Completed my undergraduate thesis. Since you put "completed" in your first part of your sentence, then you should use -ing form instead of -ed form. In addition, i think it will be better if you use this
After accomplishing/completing my undergraduate thesis........... and it was published by National Journal of Biometrics and PopulationLast but not least, I think that your writing has not strong enough. Adding some further explanation of your achievements will be better to make your writing stronger and more interested.
I hope it can be helpful. Good luck!