Undergraduate / Tenacity, humility, and responsibility - Colgate - three words describe you. [2]

Hi guys, this is an essay for colgate university Please, evaluate it. Any comment is appreciated. (250 words max)

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We want to get to know you better.

What are three words that your best friend would use to describe you and why?

Out of all the pieces of the words, I believe adamantly that my best friend will describe me in these three words: tenacity, humility, and responsibility. Frankly, these words completely depict a holistic picture of my own life; and this can be spotlighted from three obvious situations.

First of all, when I was first-year student in STEM school, I got abominable grades in the first semester even though I was doing my best. Consequently, I asked a sophomore about the strategies and the references he used to pass with high grades. It was tough to jump from "B" score to "B+" in one semester. But according to the spirit of perseverance and unaccepting of the failure, I did it.

Secondly, when I was in the garment campaign to provide the poor people with cloths to their children, I was an OC with some other mates. It was extremely appealing to incorporate in such charity work. My role was to show them the pieces of cloths and, without exaggeration, the picturesque thing on them. I wasn't arrogant with any of them and even I took with them souvenir photos.

Lastly, when my father died in 2007, I was young but my role was essential and indispensable. I was working in pharmacy with my pal, bishoy, who has the same circumstances; I was responsible for cleaning the floor and he was arranging the medicines. The money I get were always and undoubtedly go to the budget of the home for helping.

Undergraduate / Graphic Design as an extracurricular activity - ALA essay. [2]

Please describe the activity in which you participate that is most meaningful or important to you. Why is this activity so important to you? (200 word max)

The design is extremely significant for me

"Nothing comes from the space", flashing card this quote was the first step in the design universe. Visualizing the picturesque nature in my mind and witnessing people minimizing this wholly nature in small portrait excited my curious to be like them. I worked on two of Adobe programs, the photoshop and the illustrator. The design is extremely significant for me because of the spare time that I didn't know how to make it useful and the benefits I will gain in the future.

August 30, 2018, I saw the Facebook post about the upcoming world cup in football. Here was the opportunity to participate in real competition with professional competitors. The logo - they wanted - must be unprecedented noticed, so I spend almost two weeks to illustrate one, and one week enhancing it. I don't know whereas it was serendipitously or not, but I got a good ranking in the first 1000 winners, it was wonderful honor for me to be in this position.

Last but not least, I am a self-employer on internet sites like freelancer and Upwork. These sites are a source of income for me, but the objective wasn't that; it's related to make something I love.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL task 2 writing - adolescents must focus primarily on their major subjects [2]

Hello,
This is my essay in TOEFL task 2, I wrote it in 30 min which is the legal time for the TOEFL writing task. Please evaluate it from 30. I will appreciate your comments.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should require students to study many subjects in different fields rather than just their major subjects.

majors in university

As everything in the life is like a coin that has two dissimilar sides, people must weigh the pros and cons before jumping to conclusions. After all, every and each question must require careful deliberation that there are always multiple variables to the truth. Some people may adamantly believe that students have an obligation and required to takes sundry of courses during there semester in the university, but I think such opinion lack coherence to some extent. In my humble opinion, adolescents must focus primarily in their majors and in their spare time, they can spend it reading in other topics or concepts from different fields.

First and foremost, the majority of individuals would agree with the notion that students have an ambitious from there childhood and want to make it real in the future. In other words, every student wants to achieve his goals by studying specific majors. Furthermore, studying and focusing in particular major will engender myriad of advantages. To illustrate more thoroughly, my physics teacher, Dr. Mostafa, has PhD in astrophysics and he completing his rest of life in our boarding school, STEM. Once, I have asked them about his adulthood in the university, and how he decided to choose this particular major rather than the others. In addition, I also asked him why he didn't take double-major while he was in the university. His answer was completely satisfying and obvious, as he told me the passion is the only controller in his life. For elucidation, when he was young, he was always looking at the sky and glimpse the movement of the stars and wondering how these movement happen and what is influencing it? He planned to search about it and learn the factors and effects on the stars. Hence, as I see know he is the best scientist and teacher I have ever seen in my life. The main reason behind this rationale is that he didn't distract himself in more than one major and just focused in his own ambitious and passion. All in all, we can't and shouldn't overlook the pros of focusing in our passion and don't distract ourselves in more than one major.

On top of this, when people study and immerse themselves in more than on major, it can result in an unfavorable ramification. In the eyes of people in today's world, students who are interesting in more than one field will suffer in the future because their minds will not be comfortable at all. A great example of that will be my sister who knows sundry of things in 10 majors around the world. She is a major of chemical physics, but honestly, she doesn't have specific major. I believe this to be true mainly due to the fact that in every single night, she enters her chamber and takes her laptop, spend several hours without eating or drinking. Once, she got fatigue because her health became unproper as she spends more than half of the day on her bed and studying her courses, do her assignments, read local newspapers, search about the new gestures, study biology and the anthropology. She was mind-blowing by all these accomplishments but in reality, she lost a lot of funny moments with her family and pals. Long story short, it is clear as a day for me that immersing ourselves in more than one major or field can have unproper consequences in the future. Also, it will destruct our body and we will be oblivious about the amuse moments in daily life.

In summation, yes, it's virtually impossible to give a complete satisfying answer to an open-ended question. Although the jury may be out of the given essay topic, we can reach a mutual agreement that students must focus completely in their major rather than distract themselves in other minor topics due to the reasons and details mentioned above.

Undergraduate / ALA ESSAY - ILLITERACY PROBLEM AND SOLUTION- 683 WORDS [2]

Hello, this is my essay about illiteracy, Please evaluate it. I will appreciate any comments.

Talk about a time when you identified a need in your community:

(I) What need did you identify? Please describe it.
(ii) How did you address this need? What actions did you take? What exact role did you play?
(iii) What difficulties did you encounter? What was the source of these challenges?
(iv) What was the outcome? If the project/activity is unfinished, what actions do you still plan to take? What lessons can you draw from your experience?

Out of all the needs in the community, illiteracy is the most obstacle that need to be encountered. People in today's world are not aware about the technological progress in the holistic world. Most of them, if not all, don't know the basic rules of mathematics, the numbers, how to read a newspaper because of lacking the comprehensive skills, and how to write letters. Consequently, this will lead to facing tough situations like to be not able to speak in front of peoples because the don't know much words and how to create sentences. Hence, an action must be taken.

I am used to read every day's newspaper, one day -Sep 9, 2014- I noticed this notion in EGYPTIAN STREETS site which says " over quarter of Egyptian population is illiterate; 18.5% of males and 33.6% of females can't nether write nor read. I couldn't trust the site at the beginning, but when I was with Resala charity team in garment campaign, I witnessed dozens of thousands of people coming to get some clothes for their children. I asked two or three of them bout their financial situations, there were answering the same response: "we didn't get the proper education, as a result we can't find jobs." I thought about that a lot and finally, I decided to make an education club for all illiterate people for free with my colleagues. We were 20 individuals in this revolution against illiteracy, small number but influential and effective. We began searching for well and wide place, so we can spread our help to large number as we can. To convince people about this place we needed trusted and known charities like Resala, so we engaged with them to attract people. They were pretty kind with us as they appreciated our curious to solve a grand challenge in Egypt. After all, we needed to advertise our work, here my role comes. I was the head of media in our team "Maraya", as I was responsible for the evaluation of the tasks' ideas. I also participated in doing more than half of the designs.

Literally, a lot of obstacles had faced us including: the money for the rent place we chose, official acceptance from ministry of interior, and a trusting of the parents of the illiterate children -we were targeting all illiterates but the objective was the young-minds. I will talk about the most difficult which is money. Almost all of us were 16 years old, so we didn't have sufficient budget to do all the plans we put. From one side, our families were well-contributors for us, they were doing all what they can to help. From the other, we were working in the evening in restaurants or cafes. It took about on year of working and saving money, until we began our project in 2017 with good budget. It was tough as we were balancing between the school and the work, but we succeeded in encountering this obstacle and achieve our goal.

The best outcome is we helped our nation to be better and solve an obstacle by ambitious adolescents. All people that entered our club benefited and got the proper education that they lacked in the past. Most of them advertised our project to their cousins, neighbors, and friends. As the project became popular, we must wide it so we needed to hire talented individuals to help us including: HR, FR, OC, and Media. Fortunately, it was a piece of cake, as we found a lot of people wanted to participate. I noticed that when I made the hiring form on our page on the Facebook. Dozens of people signed and showed a good experience in the past with previous teams. The precious lessons we learned are a lot, we learned how to collaborate and make team, marketing skills, how to be patient with people who don't have knowledge, and how to plan and take decisions. All in all, we can't and shouldn't overlook the myriad of advantages that we gained, and we thank god as nothing from our plan result in unfavorable ramifications.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL - task 2 writing - the independent one - foreign language. [4]

Hello, this is my essay for TOEFL writing task. Please, evaluate it for me. Any suggestions are appreciable.
If you can give me an estimated score, I will be gratefull.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

Learning a second language early

As everything in life is like a coin that has two dissimilar sides, people must weigh the pros and cons before jumping to conclusions. After all each and every question or topic must require careful deliberation in that there are always two multiple variables to the truth. Some people may adamantly believe that children don't have the obligation to learn foreign language when they are in the primary school. But I think such opinion lack coherence to some extent. In my humble opinion, Young students must take courses and learn foreign language when they are about eight or nine years old for the following reasons.

First and foremost, the majority of individuals would agree with the notion that learning a foreign language is significantly important to the adolescents as they will have an open-mind to learn a lot of things that isn't exist in their mother tongue language. The main reason behind this rationale is that when students in earlier ages learn two or more languages will lead to myriad of advantages. To illustrate more thoroughly, my sister Jessy is in the Maria Auzelia school and they learn: Arabic, English, and Francis. There was a trip the last week; she was sitting on pins and needles waiting for the lucky students who will go to California and try this outstanding experience. Two weeks later, the results appeared and she was in the crew who will travel. As, she speaks English pretty well, her communication with people out there was effortless for her. In addition to this, when they visited Harvard university to talk to the counselors and professors, it wasn't tough to every single student to communicate with them. So, as she learned the language and how to communicate with the others in their own language, she was comfortable when she was there. All in all, we shouldn't and can't overlook learning foreign language is tremendously important for the young-age people.

On top of this, if the students didn't learn second language and be proficient in it, it can lead to unfavorable ramifications. In the eyes of many people in present day society, the students who don't care about learning and getting knowledge form other countries by learning their languages isn't preferable to lots of people. A great example of this would be my friend peter, the student who don't know anything about the entire world because of his unawareness. We were in a trip to the museum in Cairo and the instructor was talking in English. All of the individuals in the seminar were understanding every single word except Peter. This mainly due to the fact that he didn't grow himself in language when he was in childhood so he is now suffering because of this. Long story short, it's clear as a day to me that, we have an obligation to learn new languages and be experts on it because we will gain a lot of advantages in the future. Also, every mother and father must teach their children the importance of learning.

In summation, yes, it is virtually impossible to give a complete satisfying answer to an open-ended question. Although the jury may be out of the given essay topic, we can reach mutual agreement that every bloke and student must learn the main four skills in one or two language above his own.

Undergraduate / Essay for Cairo college —AIO smart sleeve. [4]

Hello,
Please, I want you to evaluate my essay for Cairo college. I want to identify the mistakes in it and the flowing fo ideas. I appreciate your help.

What invention do you think has had the biggest effect on your life?

Dozens of inventions are invented every day, but the most influential is AIO smart sleeve. It's a sleeve that utilizes the electrocardiogram (ECG) to monitor and measure the heart rate activity. The advantage of this gadget is that it uses the most accurate measurement tool in the world -ECG - which is used by the medical industry. While this creation impressed me, I dream to be part of their organization to develop this outstanding gadget. As Their aim is to measure detect heart inflammation, So, I will publish a research to them in the future.

Undergraduate / AUB essay - invention that has a great impact on my life - common app [3]

Hello, I kindly ask you to evaluate my essay to AUB. I will appreciate that too much.

What idea, invention, discovery, or creation do you think has had the biggest impact on your life so far? (100 words)

the invention of internet is the greatest

Out of all the inventions, I think internet is the best. Simply, without this outstanding invention we can't do sundry of things. Internet helped me a lot in searching, applying, and shorting distances. Imagine no internet we can't do research, for instance, and publish it around all the world; We can't apply for competitions, tournaments, colleges. We must travel to do a little duty if internet isn't existed. The great benefits that I got from internet is the plain in applying to STEM, AUB, AGFE. The myriad of advantages can't be counted.

Undergraduate / Personal Statement - Common Application - Gynecomastia Disease [4]

Hello guys, this is my personal statement for the common app. Please give me your opinions, any suggestions are appreciated .

GYNECOMASTIA DISEASE

"Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out" - Karl Augustus Menninger. Encountering grave obstacles is foreseeable in our life route but the idea is how to conquer them; your volition is inevitably your command, even inspiring you or stumbling. The decision must be industriously considered when you take a momentous step in facing a snag. Overcoming the fears from unrobed and exposing underneath my clothes in front of peoples and listening to their harsh whispers penetrates my ears was presenting a challenge for me. It wasn't effortless to know what is obnoxious making me eccentric.

When I was 10 years old, I attended sports club to dry run which was in my priorities; my objective from that was to complete the missing part of my life -fitness. Days are traditionally passing until the ominous day came, when I dressed my new sports apparel. I found myself like stinging by mockery from fellows even from my chum, when I flashed a glance to myself and then glimpsed to them, I realized there is formidable variance between us. Searching for this nameless case was in the first flight for me, although it was exceedingly tough but I toiled with all my capability until I reached to this whimsical name "Gynecomastia" -a noncancerous increase in the males' breast tissues. As I read, I figured out that it will die out after a couple of years but unfortunately, it endured with me more than 7 years. Endeavoring all possible avenues to cure this disease were in my priorities: multiplying of exercise, maintaining attendance to the sauna, but all trials were having inverse effects as they were adding insult to injury. Furthermore, I was getting worse like jumping from a frying pan and landing in the fire. Failure from approaching a therapeutic vaccine besides people's ridicule were like an unbearable burden for me.

It didn't stop right here; the critical situation evolved as terror governed me. For elucidation, if the school made a trip to the swimming pool, I used to go and hang out with my cronies. But after comprehending my case and comrades' offensive looks, I ceased lots of things: going for trips, donning whatever I want, paling up with unprecedented friends because I didn't want any excess psychological ache. The worst thing is that, no one cognize the root of the subject. In their mind, it is an issue of fatness, and I must vanquish it facilely by practicing some special exercises. They don't know it is a repercussion of disturbances in the endocrine system that lead to an increase in the ratio of estrogen. This causes the most unfavorable effect on me.

When I was 14 years old, I was out of the running as founding myself introvert and taciturn. But one memorable day, my sensible mother entered my chamber and told me optimistic words that pulled me out of the darkness: " you shouldn't stress yourself; you just want to revise your progress in choosing your friends- I trust in your ability to manage this." Guiltless and obvious words like these reborn me as I became another bloke. Beginning with my mother advice was very strenuous at the beginning for sundry things: making new friends and averting the forgotten ones as they were giving chase for a while until they overlooked me, it required lots of time but at the end, it succeeded. One of the prime influential factors was my current boarding school (STEM) which reborn me. This true mainly due to that my new mates have mature, awareness minds. Therefore, they can grasp the idea of my holistic case which dissimilar to the old's primitive troubled minds -they are unalike in personality. I wasn't the only one with this case, there are lots of people like me. So, helping them stepping over the case was like psychological cure for them.