Writing Feedback / TOEFL "Having job while studying or not" [NEW]

19. In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

Some parents and teachers believe that studying is the solely duty of students. Others, however, think teenagers in the school age should work for many reasons. In my point of view the latter's group idea is more authentic because of two chief reasons being discussed int his essay. First, working is a good opportunity to get more experiences, specifically in the school era. Then, students can get economical independence by doing some jobs.

Although studying is more beneficial for teenagers, facing with real life needs more experiences which are not only in schools. Pupils learn a lot of thing by doing some jobs. For instance, John, who was my classmate in the high school period, afraid from communicates with people having different point of view rather himself. After my suggestions to work in the cafe of our school, he learnt how he should talk and convey with a wide range of people who has various opinions.

In addition, one of the effective results of working during the adolescent period is economical independence. How they should spend their resources is such a brilliant achievements that students can use this skill for future life. Besides, they can rank the importance of their necessities. "Is it authentic to expense my limited money for fixing the bicycle or buying a new DVD?" These are some usual questions that teenagers ask themselves and how they answer to these kinds of questions has profound effect for economical independence obtaining.

In conclusion, I believe teenagers should work while they are still student because of the fact that the requirements of real life do not gain just by studying in school. Furthermore, they can learn how they earn and spend their money in a reasonable way. The reasons mentioned above motivated me for holding such an idea that students have jobs while they are still students.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL "Playing game is fun when you win?" [5]

18. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing a game is fun only when you win. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people believe that playing game accompanies with fun just when they win. Others, however, think recreation and playing games are always attached to each others. In my point of view, the latter's group idea is more authentic due to some significant reasons being discussed in this essay. Playing game is an effective activity for encouragement. Playing game almost often has important learning conditions.

Encouragement is such a vivid consequence of games that all men can enjoy from playing. Although some people play a game when they are sure about their triumph, I for one cannot neglect the encouragement effects of playing games. For instance, John, my roommate who is an expert chess player, always wants me to play with him. Frankly, I am novice in this game, yet I have accepted his suggestions all the time because of the fact that by playing chess, I encourage myself to improve my skills. In addition, researchers at the MIT University, who focus on the role of games in the child characteristics, confirm that playing game increases the sense of encouragement up to 15 percent between children.

Furthermore, that learning conditions appearing during each games are another benefits of playing games. As a tangible example, when I play with John, I have this opportunity to learn many things from my competitor. How to make an important decision at the right time and how to manage my facilities to struggle with difficulties are other achievements that I can gain with games.

To wrap it up, playing a game is often fun either you win or not, but the other aspects of game should be considered. Encouragement and learning situations are also the two remarkable features of game. We can learn many things from game. Even if I have not won the John till today, I will play with him to learn all of his strategies and after that invade for the final hit.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL "working by hand vs. using machines" [3]

I would be appreciate it very much, if you can edit my essay.

17. Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

If people want to continue working by hands why can we see a lot of inventions such as computer in our life? Beyond doubt, humans are always trying to find a way for convenient life. Therefore, throughout this long path, invention of machines has profound effects in our daily life. I personally prefer doing work by machines, in that they work as precise as possible, and they work without exhaustion.

Preciseness is the most important working features of machines. Although some old-fashioned people believe that we should not trust to the machines for all of our duties because of their flaws, machines have proven that tasks done by them are more accurate than humans' tasks. As an outstanding illustration, history shows that some striking epics, telling the story of historical events, have deteriorated because of the fact that they reproduced by hands writing and this activity often includes some mistakes.

How can we imagine a machine need a break time during a working day? Working without exhaustion is another reason motivating me to prefer working by machines instead of my hands. If I have to make ten copies of my reports which includes seventy pages with historical methods, certainly, I will resign from this company, but photocopy-machine not only does help me to create these copies without any tire but also lend me a hand to keep my job. In addition, results of a recent research carried out on MIT University, affirm that working by machines is more beneficial for companies, inasmuch as they do not need break times and they use working hours better than humans do.

In conclusion, I prefer using machines for my works. Even if machines have their own errors, they have created for working without mistakes. They can also work inexhaustible. Finally, convenient life equals to applying machines for our monotonous works.

Writing Feedback / TOEFl "ability to read and write more important today than.." [2]

15. Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer .

How can I neglect the importance of writing and reading skills in the modern life? Where all the necessities of our life connect to our reading and writing abilities. In this essay two significant powers which can be gained by these skills will be discussed. The first is getting a better job and the second relates to communication with other members of society.

In the new world, finding a well-paid job and ability to read and write are linked to each others like as relation of grain and sand to grow. Some people, however, find jobs without any academic skills, of course, these are low level jobs. Although history of human beings shows that they made food by hunting and gathering, so writing and reading abilities were useless for them. Nowadays, do you want to prepare your necessities of life, the techniques of hunting and gathering is useless. Thus, for making a better life we should find a better job, so the requirements of academic skills are brilliant as sun light.

The manners of communication changed through the time and both reading and writing have an outstanding role in this branch. For example, we should be able to read the recipe to make an appointment with back bencher or we should be able to write to communicate with our pen pal. In addition, researchers, who focused on new methods of communication on MIT University, declare that both writing and reading abilities have such a considerable effect on humans communication that uneducated person suffer from lack of convey.

In conclusion, it is worth mentioning that both writing and reading skills are inseparable from our new life. We have this opportunity to find a better job and make better relationships with other people of society by these techniques.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL "growing in countryside vs big cities..." [2]

I would be thankful if you can take a look at my essay.

14. It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

Some people believe that small town has its own benefits such as: fresh air and having quite places, so it is better for child to grow up there, while others think big cities are the best places for children's upbringing. The latter group's opinion is more satisfactory for me because of some authentic reasons being discussed in this essay. The first reason is finding better opportunities for education and the second one relates to communication skills.

Better education is one of the striking results of living in big cities, although good schools maybe are found in countryside too. In the big cities, education of child is more important for both governments and parents, while in small towns helping in home chores such as working in the orchards is the first duty of kids and the education stands behind it. Hence, not only parents but also policy-makers of each borough incline to first duty of child instead of education. The results of a recent research, which focused on the environmental factors affecting children characteristics, affirm that kids who grew up in big cities are often erudite due to the better educational occasions.

Learning communication skills is also the other causes motivated me for holding such idea. In a small society of countryside, child meets a few people; they communicate with a limited group of beliefs and idea, while in big cities how to convey with a big group of people with various thoughts is the apparent consequence of living in such cities. For instance, my roommate John, who grew up in a small town, had a lot of problems at the beginning of first semester, when he had faced with a group of people having different religious beliefs.

To wrap things up, I believe that children should grow up in big cities where they can find better schools and colleges. Furthermore, big cities have such an effective innate that children can learn many useful communication skills. Gaining better living situations in present and future of kids link with big cities.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay "read only factual books or not.." [NEW]

13. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should read only those books that are about real events, real people, and established facts. Use specific reasons and details to support your opinion.

Some people believe that reading imaginative and fanciful books have profound effects on their life. In my point of view, however, reading about real happenings, people and facts are more effective than previous one. I want to put emphasis on two striking reasons motivated me for holding such opinion. First is about life of famous people, and the second relates to what we can learn about real experiences.

Inventors, writers and other famous persons exist in every nation's history. Therefore, reading about them is such a considerable chance that one can learn many things amid the life of famous persons. As a concrete case in point, I have read a lot about the life of Thomas Edison, who is famous for inventing electricity. What I learn about his life is hard-working and trusts to myself despite of difficulties; these are the two fantastic characteristics of Edison that I personally follow in my life to struggle with troubles.

In the core of each events and facts lives a real lesson, so reading about them is a less-cost experience with lot of triumphs. Although reading fabulous tales and factious stories could improve our imagination, living in the real world needs real experiences. In addition, learning about others experiences without any risk is the other benefit of being familiar with real events occurred surrounding us. For example, I never walk in the way of John, who was my addicted roommate, in that I saw the result of this kind of hazardous activities, clearly, just be tracking a real event.

In conclusion, I think reading about real events, real people and established facts is a precious treasure that others give us freely. We have this opportunity to learn about famous people and the key point of their successfulness. Besides, learning about other people experiences such as how they should face with problems, is the result of reading the reality. Finally, we live in a real world and need reality instead of fancy.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL "A gift can contribute to child's development..." - BOOK [5]

12. A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child's development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

For my seventh birthday, my father gave me a special gift and I clearly remembered that present. Although some of my friends thought that gift was not a precious one, in my point of view that book was such an impressive gifting that I decided to give book to other as a gift. I believe that books can help children in different manner, such as: improvement in their reading and writing skills, helping to learn about their home country, and amend their imagination.

Books are important helping equipments, which has a profound effect on the reading and writing skills of students. One of the significant reasons motivated me for holding such an opinion is the result of a recent research on MIT University. In this research, the effects of short story books on the learning abilities of elementary school pupils have been investigated. The results show that students who read this kind of books are successful than other classmates in their exams.

Since books contain the traditional epical tales of each nation, they are effective gifts for child to learn more things about home country. The cornerstone characteristics of children have been made in the childhood. Hence, this period is right moment for teaching various features of their country through stories. For example, I learnt a lot of things about the heroic kings and historical events of my country, just by reading the sagas in my childhood.

Finally, improving in imagination and thinking manner are other results of reading books for child. When a child read a book with some simple difficulties happened for main characters of the story, he learned how to solve his own problems and how to cope with troubles. Besides, books can extend the imagination of child, in that they can improve their view points.

To sum up, book is a very useful gift for children because of the fact that it can help them to improve their reading and writing skills. In addition, via tales not only do children learn many thing about their country but also this present can be increased their imaginations. That is why I believe that books are noticeable gifts for children.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: "people are living longer now"; 'Healthier life, well educated people' [2]

In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. (11)

Studying the history of human beings shows that men always try to find some ways to live longer. Nowadays, this dream comes to truth. Healthier life, well educated people, and changing the style of life are the three important causes of living longer that will be elaborated in present essay.

Medical improvements, which develop over hundreds of years, are the most significant causes of living longer. In the history, we have a lot of examples of public death just for common illnesses. In addition, immunity against diseases has such a striking effect that we can apparently see that the death rate of people because of epidemic illnesses decrease, drastically.

Secondly, expanding of knowledge through whole society is another reason of living longer, in that well educated persons always prevent themselves from risky treatments. As a concrete case in point, during spreading of swine flu in my home country, statistics demonstrate that the numbers of patient from educated people is less than uneducated because of the fact that they read about the this vital illness and its preventing methods.

Finally, changing the style of life is another reason for living longer. Modern people live in the safer place today than prehistoric one did. Furthermore, in the modern life convenient facilities such as computer, automobiles and automatic machines make our life easier. Therefore, dangerous tasks are carried out by machines instead of humans.

To conclude, augmentation in the length of life is the final aim of human beings effort. They create various types of method for healthier life. They try to learn knowledge about living longer, and they improve the style of their life in the hope that they can live longer.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL "Building a new movie theater in nighborhood.." [2]

It has recently been announced that a new movie theater may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

When I saw the announcement of building a new cinema near my house; I became really happy, in that I am sick of seeing the boring television series and this new building bring in some interesting features to my town. I fully support this fascinating plan because of these two important reasons. First, it has such a strong effect that public culture improvement is a brilliant result of it. Then, it would be a safe place for spending spare time for both adult and family.

One of important responsibility of movie industries is improving the public culture; however, someone believes that entertainment is the first and only duty of movie-makers. By construction of this cinema, the society have this chance to see movies from all around the world, so familiarity with striking aspects of other people traditions and cultures is an effective consequence of this new construction. In addition, results of a recent study, which focus on the effect of media in social life, affirm that watching movies increases the public knowledge in various branches.

Furthermore, both adults and families could be spending their leisure time in a safe place. This new cinema should be built in my neighborhood, as we do not have an appropriate place for adult's entertaining. Therefore, some dangerous components of social life such as, aggressive behaviors, addiction and so on will be the result of paying no attention to this part of society. Also, families have this opportunity to watch movies in this new movie theater and expending their spare time with each others; improvement of family life is another benefit of this cinema.

To sum up, I strongly believe that my small town needs this new cinema because of the fact that public knowledge could be increased with this occasion. Beyond doubt, both adults and families would be the direct audiences of this cinema, so excessive energy of adolescents and monotonous time of families put on a right way. And hopefully, I can find another option instead of tiring T.V programs!

p.s. I still have trouble with time, darn ! 46 minutes! :(

Writing Feedback / TOEFL "why is music important?" [2]

10. People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Just imagine a day that you cannot hear any beautiful sounds. It is impossible to imagine a world without any music, in that music has became one of the unseparated part of our today life. All of us enjoy from music because of some personal reasons, but in this essay, I want to put emphasize on three chief causes; music for becoming familiar with culture and history, music for entertainments, and finally, music for relaxation.

That music comes from each country has some prominent aspects of the history and culture of its people. By listening to various types of songs, you have this ability to know about important historical events of the producer's home country. As a case in point, in my society, we have a special song, which name is "Iran's eternity", that always remembers the war times. Also, musicians often use this ammo to introduce their cultures in the hope that people from other country would be familiar with their own culture.

Not surprisingly, music is one of the sufficient ways for entertaining. We can see the placement of music throughout the different stages of our life as a best means for entertaining. For example, none of us can forget either the childhood songs always bringing happiness for us, or that music kind we listened in juvenile era, which often were the best motivator for dancing.

In addition, in the modern life, with its difficulties, music has found another responsibility for relaxation. Listening to a light music is a pleasure manner for relaxation, specifically after a monotonous working day. Furthermore, results of recent research, which focused on the importance of music in the urban life, in the Alberta University, showed that the life stress could be reduced by hearing to music for 20 minutes a day.

To sum up, music has important role in the different branches of personal and social life. Music is such a remarkable mean that can show the noticeable spot of historical and cultural events. Moreover, relaxation and amusement are the other benefits of the music. Beyond doubt, without music our life would be similar to life of humanized robots.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: "Studying alone or in a group"/ Which do you prefer? [NEW]

Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

When I found the chance of studying in a group with my classmates, I wished I can go back in time and took all my exams again. I personally prefer studying in a group due to these noticeable features, getting help from other students, improving my attitude for learning, managing my time in an effective way.

When pupils make a group for studying, all member of group have the same chance to help each other. They can work together for understanding the complicated aspect of a course. For example, when a group faces with complex math problem, they can share their opinions to solve it. In addition, such a remarkable effect has incorporation that all students can improve their weak points in a group.

Increasing the motivation and competence spirit are another benefit of group-studying. In a group of student, the best of those always encourages others to study harder. Besides, pupils often have a tangible competence in order that they can get the highest grade in a group. Clearly, better learning is one of noticeable result of these competences and encouragements.

When the students study with their friends, they should have schedule to use their time in an effective manner. Group-studying causes some kind of internal obligation to manage the time, inasmuch as we always care about other people and we do not want to waste their time. Therefore, time management is another brilliant benefit of group-studying.

In conclusion, I strongly prefer studying in a group of my friends because of some important opportunities gaining with this activity. I can receive some helps from other student as well as improving my learning skills, also managing of time is another achievements of group-studying. Now, it is time to start without any regret from my previous exams.

Writing Feedback / Studying people and events of the past time is very useful [8]

Hi,

Learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Some people believe that when something occurs, it happened and we do not need to see these events to find any value from them. I, however, disagree with this type of thinking. I, personally, believe that the past is a sufficient light for future, because of, its opportunity of learning from famous people treatments and utilization of other men experiences.

The lives of famous people in the history of each nation are the appropriate examples of how we can be a successful person in our life. Besides, the behaviors of those, give this chance to us to find a not only brilliant but also adequate way to prosperity. For instance, all of us know the Tomas Edison, who was the inventor of electricity; we can study his personal characteristics to find that what the important parameters of his achievements were. In addition, sociologists affirm that the stories of famous human being are the best motivator of present people to work hard for finding their way.

Secondly, the application of other people experiences is such an effective way that we can learn many things from them. Use of other people experiments is one of the most important ways of learning of life's difficulties, when you do not need to do them personally. Therefore, you have this comfortable occasion to not repeat the same errors. For example, by seeing my father's life and finding his faults in his whole life, I never insist to walk in his way, while I know that this path will be a blind alley.

To conclusion, studying people and events of the past time is more useful to find the causes of failures and victories. We can learn many things from the life of famous people, so we can follow them to gain our dreams. Furthermore, the flaws of other people life show us the distinctive manner tending the wrong ways.

P.S: I have a real trouble with time, do you have any idea to solve this problem? for example this essay took me 56 mins !!

Writing Feedback / TEOFL Essay "Small town vs big city" [4]

Topic: Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use reasons and details to support your answer.

Some people who live in a big city believe that the best place for them is small town because of the fact that they are tired from congestion of this kind of city. In my book, however, the big city is the exceptional place for living due to, striking shopping centers, extended public transportations, and various job opportunities.

Firstly, shopping malls are the fascinating aspect of big city which attract me to select this one for rest of my life. Big cities have classified shopping centers and finding the requirements is very convenient on them. Also, you have this chance to search among different centers, in order that to buy your needs with not only good quality but also cheap prices.

Secondly, public transportation of big city spread out over all areas; you can go wherever you want by public facilities. For example, when I was a college student in the big city, I always used the shuttle bus to arrive to my classes, although my university was far from my home. Furthermore, buses, taxis, and subways are very cheap, so that saving money is another opportunity of living in big city.

Finally, the potential of finding remarkable job in big city increases rapidly. As an illustration, after my graduation when I migrated from small town that, I had a low level job there, to big city, I found out a good job relating to my major. Besides, researchers in the field of sociology declare that the migration rate from rural to cities increases every days, in that young people leave their rural societies to find a better job for make their future.

To sum up, I strongly prefer to live in the big city the place of chances to find good jobs and appropriate facilities. Leaving fresh air of small town to gain sufficient future is a fair enough deal that I chose for my life.