Research Papers / 'Mother Teresa is an idol' - Mother Teresa Reseach Paper [2]

Therefore, Mother Teresa is world famous because of her help with the homeless, her charity work, and theher big role in the Catholic Church.

Generally, Mother Teresa helped the homeless; however, the widespread poverty of Calcutta made a deep impression on her and this led to her starting a new order called "The Missionaries of Charity" (Pettinger).

In 1952, Mother Teresa opened her first home for dying and the medically neglected, so people could pass away properly.
Furthermore, Mother Teresa' s charity work is beyond belief.
Since Mother Teresa spent basically all of her time at the missionaries and doingdid charity work, she was essentially relentless.
Subsequently, she was one of the biggest role models in her Catholic Church.

Hope you will continue trusting this site. Thank you for posting it. :)

Book Reports / Portrayal of Women in Hamlet - "Frailty, Thy name is woman" [4]

Gertrude, the queen of Denmark and Ophelia, the prince's lover are the only two women in the play that have been portrayed as weak and manipulative and can be used."manipulative" and "can be used" have the same meaning , and also the latter violates parallelism.

Polonius's intentions are seen through his utterance withthe desperate tone in he speaks with .

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2:Dressing appropriately is important or not?? [7]


he or she
him or her


it


It is unnecessary to put a comma.

These festivals are inherited from our ancestors and it is our responsibility to preserve and continue tothem forourthe next generations.


The bold part is not an acceptable in English grammar. It must be " would lead".

Good luck:)

Scholarship / We no longer live in the past; we strive to seek for a perfected global future [9]


Grammatically, there is no issue with that, for we consider such as a standard sentence structure. But in that sentence, the verb should be in present progressive aspect , and not in future. That manifests on the first part of the sentence if we will just scrutinize :)

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2 - VIOLENT MOVIES can cause serious social problems [8]


Hi, it's grammatically correct. But we should avoid writing a wordy sentence as much as possible. That is one of the sentence common faults that we must avoid in writing sentences.:)

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: To solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car [5]

Fikri is right. Do not begin your paragraph with that transitional device. Using it means you are giving a contradictory view.

For example, if governments raise taxes, people who have financial problemdifficulties with money , like poor family, willcannot afford to fulfill their basic necessitiesnotbe able to have enough money everything .

:)

Writing Feedback / IELTS_TASK2_ People aim to achieve the balance between their work and lives [4]

In present-day society, to accomplish own dreams, most people hashave failed to keep a balance between their busy work and daily lives. and this problem has to some extent troubled

I agree with Pahan. You still need to improve your introduction. If you want to earn more points, follow the approach he has given above.

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2 - VIOLENT MOVIES can cause serious social problems [8]

One of the main problems that contributes to the severe troubles is that violent movies make people neglected .
Recently, most of people suppose that the high rates of violent scenes are leading to detrimental community issues .


Delete this. Instead of writing this way, express your opinion. It is not presented in your introduction.
To begin with , there are three factors that bringbringingabout the consequence of violent films .[/quote]



violent


youngsters


if

If the government removesthe violent scenes in movies


parents
Beside, parents shouldimpose discipline in their home


The italic part should be combined as one. They are not separate sentences.

Good luck:)

Scholarship / We no longer live in the past; we strive to seek for a perfected global future [9]


its engine. You do not need to put an apostrophe nor contract it.


This consists of two independent clauses. Therefore, do not combine them without leaving a comma.

Although technology has dramatically changed the way we see and relate to each other, it hasis yet toachieveachieving its threshold.


cars

Letters / Confidential Report on Applicant for Graduate Study [5]

You are very much welcome ^_^

Thank you for trusting Essay Forum. Hope you will post more. Do not hesitate. We are lot here very willing to help you!! Also, we are encouraging you to help others out with their essays. :))

Good luck:)

Writing Feedback / Ielts take 2 Young people attitude towards parents and grand parents [4]


Actually, both are interchangeable. Meaning, both are correct. However, in writing, it is more appropriate to use "with regard to". But in spoken language, you can use both.

" In regards to" is wrong. It must be "in regard to" or "with regard to". Hope I answer you question :D

Writing Feedback / Ielts take 2 Young people attitude towards parents and grand parents [4]

Recently, there has been a social concern inwith regards to what different attitudes children hold towards their parents and their grandparents.


Unnecessary expression. Delete it.

However, children treadtreat their grandparents as friends.

For instance, after retirement, grandparents will enjoy more free time in which they can keep up with their grandchildren' interests such as listening to their music, watchingtheir television ,orand playing game with them. Having such bondand this will create a positive communication between grandparents and grandchildren.


We call this as padded statement. Direct to the point. Writing like that hides your main point.

Good luck:)

Letters / Confidential Report on Applicant for Graduate Study [5]

As a matter of fact, I am clearly understand that no one could put up with it, except the little girl who was always having classes and practicing alone in my garage where there are some broken bikes and two pianos from 12.00p.m. to 22.00p.m. twice a week.


Three years later, although she passed the exam and to be a music teacher, she never givegave up her initial dream in learning music a a nd kept on learning to me.


The bold part seems confusing. Try to rewrite it more clearer.

Writing Feedback / 'monster if we cannot manage it well' - Movies or tv influence people's behavior [7]

Television is a popular formmeans of communication medium in any household.
It has also becomingbecome an important part in our daily life.
It cannot be denied that television is a medium from which we can get information and entertainments.


Better omit this.

Instead of advantages,T he presence of television has many negative impactsalso affects negative on our society.

Firstly, it isB ased on the recent research, all of people of all age are using this media to entertain themselves for an average of five hours a day.

TheDue to content exposure on TV, of course,itwill influence the viewers will be influenced , It is not only their thinking but also their attitude.

Good luck :)

Writing Feedback / IELTS: paying taxes is enough contribution from citizens [8]

It seems you write well. The following are just some grammatical errors I found :

what they do is for the well-beingwelfare of the whole society.

I would argue that citizens have other important responsibilities to fulfill apart from paying tax.

Another responsibility all citizens should take for is to maintain social stability together with the police force.

Writing Feedback / Ielts: invite letter: for Tom - coming for a visit in Beijing [5]

As you know I am living in Beijing so thatwhere there are many attractions and places that Tom can visit.
First of all, there is a place called "Middle Street" where you he can eat a lot of our traditional foods and snacks like Peiking Duct.[/quote]

Secondly, assinc e my hometown is located in the centre of china, the temperature is relatively mild compared with other cities, and more importantly, there is no extreme weathers like cyclone in y our city.

I am looking forward to receiving your reply.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: People attend collage or university especially for career preparation [9]


I appreciate how you put emphasis here. However, the bold part only makes your point weak. Better rephrase it.


"Whether". Additionally, your sentence lacks with thought.


The idea of this sentence seems rambling. I think this has a better flow :People have many reasons why they attend college, and one of them is for their self-development.

Attend college or university without reason.

We have different strategies to organize body paragraphs. Do not do this way. It's just for spoken language (reporting). Try to observe the works of other members here. I believe you can get a hint when it comes to that.

Writing Feedback / Learn more about another country by watching tv programmes and films about it [4]


Due to TV's shows or films, ( put the subject here) already shows a travel and a story as their reports or
presents.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : TRIP TO WORK IN HOUSTON, TEXAS [5]


For me, probably, that way of organizing body paragraphs is very common in writing. However, let us not forget that it is one way to achieve coherence ( putting ideas in chronological order). Furthermore, they are not just as "listing words" ; they also act as transitional devices which is one consideration to earn points.

:)

Writing Feedback / Water cycles - process showing how water evaporates, condenses and precipitates [7]


Grammatical mistakes are very evident. Let us fix them by rephrasing this sentence.
The illustration shows that the heating of water caused by the sun results to water evaporation and when condensed, cloud formation occurs.



The bold word is a NOUN. Remember infinitive ( to + base form of verb). Therefore, it is not "summary" , but "SUMMARIZE", rather.

Good luck:)

Graduate / "Speech is power: Speech is to persuade, to convert, to compel" Ralph Emerson [3]


Put a dash before the author when you are stating his line. That is the proper way of expressing a quotation.

[


This is a very long sentence which just makes the reader tired to read it. Split this into two. The italic part should be made as a separate sentence.


I know that I am well armed to face the challenges of an online graduate school. Moreover, I am qualified to be a candidate for the graduate program considering my great compassion in the field of speech language pathology and strong work ethic.


Good luck :)

Writing Feedback / SAT: Learning from mistakes or from our successful actions? [6]


Rephrase this. There is no mistake here grammatically.
Lastly, learning takes place through failures which guide us towards success.


Good luck:)

Writing Feedback / 'homeless or in jail'; Parents are the best teachers; I agree with the statement [4]


Obviously, you write small letter "i" not just once but several times. Practice writing it in capital. Otherwise, you'll do the same mistake over and over again without notification.


This sentence has really a lot of grammatical issues.
Without my parents, I think I would be homeless or in jail, but now by their unwavering support, I have a happy life with a wife, son/daughter, and even a dog that keep inspiring me.

Writing Feedback / Teaching in group along with specialised education according to abilities [5]


Grammatically, there is no issue about this sentence. But i see that this needs to be refined to achieve EMPHASIS and DIRECTNESS.
Good education is commonly known as a precursor to future career growth.




Let us rectify this in terms of sentence structure :)
It can be measured in several ways how beneficial individual education is to children.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL ESSAY - Technology makes people's lives simpler rather than complicated [5]


The bold elements make the idea of this sentence missing.
In the past, teachers had to write important things on the chalkboard to teach students about the lesson,resulting in a great waste of time and fatigue of teachers.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-GT (task2): Working Extended hours should restricted. (Agree/Disagree) [6]


Give first the background of your topic, before expressing your view.


You do not need to use semi-colon and comma ( in bold) there.


This is considered to be lengthy.


It seems that you just recurred the idea.

Good luck :)

Writing Feedback / During this 25 year period, consumption of pizza and hamburgers by Australian teenagers increased [6]


Take a glance at the meaning of the bold part. It really makes the reader confused. Do not misplace it. Put it closer to the one it modifies.


But, in five years, the consumption of this food leveled off with about 82 people patronizing it per year.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : The electricity consumption and cost per year [8]


What does the bold part really mean?



The bold part is grammatically incorrect.Simply delete "where" to make it correct.


You do not need to use the be verb " are" in that sentence.


The same issue as the first one.

Good luck :)

Writing Feedback / Cultural Changes in Music from Generation to Generation [3]

First and foremost, include the FULL prompt for us to know what the essay is all about. With that, we can help you answer all your concerns :)

Writing Feedback / Individuals should not be allowed to carry guns - 'used for illegal purposes' [6]

Since you have not included the full prompt, I will just focus on the grammatical structure.


The issue about legitimization of carrying firearms among individuals is getting serious.




great point!




:D

Graduate / it's never too late to start a new beginning: MS in BI- motivation letter [4]


?Complete the idea of this.






I found some small grammatical mistakes. Hope this helps you a lot :)

Undergraduate / US College application essay. check my essay for mistakes. [4]

Writing Feedback / Parents should allow their children to select their own profession [7]

You still need to tremendously improve what you have posted above. I have a strong feeling you can do that. Also,just a sort of important reminder, always include the subject/prompt you are going to discuss.


This does not follow the real structure of an essay. What you did is just you have merely presented your ideas without considering certain principles important to make your entire composition more coherent.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: man to man interaction changed; reason - technology [3]


This is actually incomplete.


Instead of using letters in communication, people can now use technology to keep in touch with others conveniently and efficiently.


As instance, family members who are in different countries can see each other through the use of Internet.






Hope this helps you :)

Writing Feedback / Honesty vs Telling lies - persuasive essay [5]

If you are about to write a persuasive essay, you should know how to start PERSUASIVELY. To achieve that, there are several introductory techniques - description, exemplification/illustration, definition, analogy, cause and effect- which you can use.


Write the full prompt or the subject you are about to discuss.


This sentence does not have a logic. Also, the "you-attitude" is used in your intro, therefore avoid using the first person point of view. Be consistent. It shows like you are the basis of truth that lying is really a sin ( we all know it is really a sin religiously.) :D

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2; More people want to buy famous brands. Give reason and opinion [6]


I do not see any connection. I think your hook does not add worth to the next sentence.


The word "pursue" is inappropriately used in the context.It should be "purchase".

Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2: Benefits and drawbacks of having several careers. [3]


you will . Avoid contraction.



one job



or simply write, "I strongly believe.."

Note:It seems that you write well. Apart from what I have edited above, I cannot find any grammatical mistakes so far.

Writing Feedback / Movies & TV affect people. 'Vietnamese man who hasn't gone to other countries' [9]


"24/7' means 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The bold part is not universally known; others may misunderstand that. Better not abbreviate it.


Great idea!


I think you may simply say , "Lastly" .



To sum up, we can benefit television in many aspects of our life.


You can't use both in one sentence. Otherwise, it will be redundant.


To be frank, you answer the prompt clearly. With regards to grammatical structure, above are my edits. Hope those help you.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1; region and by gender for the year 2000. [9]


The chart showsthe estimated world illiteracy rates by region and gender in the year 2000 between female and male.

I will just rectify the following sentences in terms of grammatical structure.


Firstly, the bar graph illustrates male illiteracy in all regions.


Among the six regions, Developed Countries, Latin America/Caribbean, and East Asia/Oceania got the lowest illiteracy rates with a percentage of 1 %, 10 %, and 8 %.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: mobile phone; "Iron man" / "Weichat" - destroy social interactions? [8]