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Posts by abc1400
Joined: Jul 1, 2011
Last Post: Nov 16, 2011
Threads: 17
Posts: 32  

From: Islamic Republic of Iran

Displayed posts: 49 / page 1 of 2
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Nov 16, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - It's good idea to hire employee for long time [2]

TOEFL - Business should hire employees for their entire lives. Agree or Disagree?
Many sociologists and philosophers believe that each person has two families. One is his biological family and another is his working companies colleagues and clients family. Thus, it is a crucial factor for some people to keep these two families for their entire lives. People are divided into two camps according to what is responsibility of companies for keep their employees for long time. Some people believe that hire employees for long time does not allow companies to grow very fast and they loose their efficiency during the time. Other think, these employees are big resources for that company because they have a lot of related experience about their daily activities.

The first reason why keep employee for long time is not a good idea is that they become less energetic and creator during the time. Doing the same job for a long time make their mind less creative. For example, my father has been working as a clerk for a big company for thirty years. Although he is very expert in his daily activities, he cannot adopt his self with new changes to improve his tasks qualities.

On the other hand, many people believe that hire employee for their entire life is a good idea. firstly, they think that people who works in a company for many years are very loyal to that company and he thinks that plays an important role in that company, so he tries to do his best. He thinks, if the company become more successful, he ganis more from that success.

Secondly, people who works for a long time in a company are vey expert on their fields. Hence, they can do more tasks in comparison with new employees in the same amount of time. Furthermore, it is very expensive for a company to train and teach a new employee.

All in all, due to experience and loyalty, I think, it is a good idea to hire employee for long time, may be as long as their entire lives.
Nov 16, 2011
Writing Feedback / It is not right to say we can not learn from the past [2]

Your essay is 244 words! congratulations!

Many events have took part throughout history. Although some of them were positive events and some of them were negative events(redundancy), we can learn a large number of things-->points from these events. Many battles and quarrels have happened, many methods were discovered in medicine science and many cultures appears .

To begin with, we can learn from the past that doing some works have never benefits us such as battles between countries and nations or quarrel among some people. They leave us just ruin cities and other problems, therefore we can learn, if we have problem with each other the best way is to sit and talk to each other.

What is more, many method had used in the past to cure patients with simple substances, and nowadays many physicians refer to these methods and try to avoid using harmful substances such as chemical substances. They now realize that herbal remedy that had been (because you mention a time you cannot use present perfect!) used in the past might have more effects.

Finally, today's people have learnt from their ancestor that how to cooke rowraw food, how to hunt, how built shelter and how heat cook it. Today many chiefs , hunters and architectures use ancient method.

To sum up, it is not right to say we can not learn from the past, in opposite in my view we have learnt a lot from them in many fields such as how to deal with the other people that live near us, medicine science and way of living.

Finally Do you agree or not ?
Nov 15, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - people believe about the human activity effects on the Earth [2]

Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed by human activity. Other feel that human activity make the Earth a better place to live. Agree|Disagree?

Although our Earth is young in comparison with other solar system plants, it has more than four billion years old. During these years many different phenomena completely changed our Earth. Humankind only live in Earth for about five thousand years, so it is few years in comparison with Earth age. People are divided into two camps according to human activities effects on this planet. Some people believe that our activities will damage the Earth. Others think these activities are not very harmful in comparison with other phenomena happened to the Earth.

The first reason why many people believe that human activities are not harmful is mankind have had some benefits for the Earth. For example, human have tried to save some endangered species. Some species are saved by people and some new species that are very helpful are being created by genetic science. Furthermore, human try to decrease negative effects of some disasters. For instance, by expanding the forest, growing tree near rivers and building dams human try to decrease negative effects of floods.

On the other hand, many people think that the Earth is being harmed by human activities such as using extensively from non-renewable resources such as fossil fuels. These days our cities are full of colorful cars and buses that all need energy to move. Thus, using fossil fules is growing day by day. As a result, more carbon dioxide is emitted and eventually our Earth temperature increased due to global warming.

All in all, people have both positive and negative effects on, our green planet, the Earth. In my opinion, it is very hard and soon to judge about human effects on the Earth. I think, it needs more time and more evidence to make assessment. Hence, I think this topic is open for future people to make conclusion about human effects on the Earth.
Nov 15, 2011
Writing Feedback / Toefl: active class or inactive one [3]

some irrelative issues. --> some irrelevant issues.
to be prepared in the class --> to be prepared for the class
their mind --> their minds

I think That is why I think classes should be active. --> it is good for speaking not writing because it shows you do not have any more ideas to add!
Nov 9, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Teenagers have jobs while they are students? UNICEF discourages states [NEW]

TOEFL - In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion.
Most developed countries have strong regulations that does not allow employers to employ teenagers. However, in third world countries, usually countries are located in Asia, Africa and south America, that suffer from poverty working for teenagers is an normal activity and inevitable. Although UNICEF discourages governments to have a strong policy against working young children, they are not fully successful.

Some nations that are not wealthy enough because of large population or other reasons, so young children does not have enough facilities to study in calm situation. Thus, they have to work not matter of sex or age. If they do not work hard, they have problem with basic needs such as food, clothing, and shelter. Thus, they do not have any other choices unless work hard. Moreover, they should save some of their income for other family members because some of them are too young or too old for working or having disabilities.

On the other hand, many sociologist and psychologists believe that governments should not allow workers to hire teenagers. First, they are in their growing ages, so they are not strong enough to tolerate long working hours or jobs stress. They should have safe circumstance for growing and have a chance to eat good foods and play with their peers.

Second reason why teenagers should not work in their teenage years is that they should concentrate on their education because this is only chance they have in their live to going to schools and studying. Furthermore, if they study in a good condition, in the future, they will be more positive and they can do better jobs.

All in all, Although in some countries because of their bad situations teenagers have to work, generally, governments should formulate a strong policy and support teenagers to not working and pursuing their educations because they are not mature enough to work and they will not find opportunities to going to schools in the future.
Nov 9, 2011
Writing Feedback / employees for entire live? I completely disagree; people get old during time [3]

Each company, business and enterprise uses their own method and strategy to make progress. One of the most important factors that helps enterprises to become succeedmore successful is employees. In from my point of view employees play important role in thriving of businesses, and I completely disagree with the idea that businesses should hire employees for their entire lives. I have several reasons for my disagreement.

To begin with, people getare getting old during the time, and they lose their abilities. [It is not related with your topic sentence] If people will be hired for entire of their lives, over time they become tired, so they will not do their task perfectly. Companies, businesses and enterprises will be suffer from with these kind of employees .

What is more, sciences are is developing day by day, and new technologytechnologies is being taught in colleges and universities. So young people that graduate each year from universities should be replaced with old employees. The new employees have not only a huge amount of energy but also new ideal, that can be really helpful for businesses that want to be succeed.

To sum up, young workforce plays an important role in making progress for a business. They both are more creative and have much more energy rather than old employees.

It is too short. This writing is about 199 words. You should write around 300 words for toefl.
successful -> adj
success -> noun
succeed -> Verb

Totally good!!!
Nov 9, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL-course grades are based solely on exams while in other classes on participation [3]

There are several ways for professors to assess their students. They either can give an exam at the end of the course or can assessparaphrase examine their students during the course. I completely agree with the grade that based on class participation. There are several reasonreasons why I agree with grade that based on class participation. One is that a problem might come up for a student at the exam date, an other is that assessment might not be fair at the final exam.I think that grading base on class activities is better because final exam is only chance for studentes to show their abilities.

To begin with, at the exam date might a problem appear for test taker like an illness. For example, when I was in college in one of my final exam I caught a flu , I caught the flu and I was enablecould not able to get up from my bed at proper time .Thus, I lost that exam and my professor did not pay attention to my class participation,s o n, s I failed. I had to take that course again and itthat was completely unfair.

What is more, there are some topics that are bear, and a few students might do not understand them during the course. It might happen at the final exam that these kind of topics do not be asked, and the professor do not understand students' problem. However, students' assessment during course and giving exam after each chapter by professor can be more effective.

To sum up, when grades are based on class participation is fair, and professor can realize the student'sstudents'problemproblems during the courseterm not at the end of the course.,so It can be really helpful.

It is too short for good grade!!! Try to find more reasons such as "may be student cheat at final exam" "may be final exam be too hard or too easy and does not show students level"
Nov 6, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - In general, people live longer now. Why? [4]

Every year we be aware of that life expectancy increase, so it shows that people live longer than before. Advent of new devices and develop in sciences, help people live longer than the past. Furthermore, people live much healthier and doctors are able to treat most of diseases due to new medicines.

Firstly, development of medical science lead to longer lifespan. Everyday scientists find new medicines, or new methods for treat illnesses. Some diseases in the past seemed to be very hard to diagnostic and remedy, but today doctors can diagnosis and cure diseases in less than hours. Furthermore, some new medical devices help people to control they major health factors by themselves. A good example of this is people who suffer form diabet. They can test their blood sugar level daily by a small gadget.

Furthermore, new gadgets and devices make human life easier. In the past, for instance, took many weeks to travel long distance, but nowadays we can travel similar distance with planes in a few hours. Another example is industrial machinery that makes labour work easier; moreover, these machinery do tasks that are hazardous to their health. Generally, these new gadgets decrease risk of expose to dangerous situation for human.

Lastly, people are more educated and they know more about how to take care themselves. Nowadays every newspaper has a special page about health or we have special TV and radio programes that all try to increase people knowledge about their health; thus, people are more aware about how to protect their health condition and avoid eat or drink foods that are harmful to their health.

All in all, people live longer because they know more how to live healthy, new machinery do hard task for us. These improvement not only increase our lifespan, but also helps us to more enjoy our life.
Oct 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / Get the most important characteristics of a society by studying its cities? [NEW]

GRE - To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.
Is it really possible to study main characteristics of a society without study of the cities that are part of that? Sociologist have a wide variety of technics that help them to find main features of a society such as study major cities, study works of literature and study monuments. There can be no doubt that study major cities of a society can make a significant help to understand that society. In my view, study major cities is not necessary for discover important characters of a society.

First and foremost reason why study major cites does not make help is that a territories if a society my be spread among many countries and sometimes many continents. For instance, Western society is spread between North America and Europe therefore study a city such as New York City and Paris not help us but also distract sociologist. For example in New York City people always in hurry and usually eat fast foods on the other hand in Paris people pay more attention to their mealtime so eat their food in peace and some times take more than an hour to eat their main course. Thus who only studies these two cities cannot understand whether people in Western society have their meal in a hurry or peace.

A second instance in which study a major city is not necessary is that it takes long time for a society to form, so study a city only shows the contemporary situation of that city. For instance, study a current situation of Beijing - capital city of China - does not help us to understand important characteristics of East society. These days modern cities are changing dramatically and it is very hard to find static characters in them. In Eastern society people usually spend their time with their family at home but these days in a city like Beijing new recreation facilities motivate people to spend their times in night clubs rather than stay home with their families.

Last but not least reason why we should study more important factors instead of cities is that these days cities are full of people from different cultures and nationalities so it is very hard to find the similar attributes between them. For instance, It is very hard to find a Western society characteristics in a cosmopolitan like New York city because in that city you can find more than 25 different nationalities live together and each have their own specific culture.

In conclusion, it is clear that study major cities in a society does not help us to find important characteristics. These days cities are mixture of people with different thoughts, cultures and ideas and each of them belongs to a specific society. Ultimately, there are better ways rather than cities that help sociologist to discover most important characteristics of a society.
Sep 14, 2011
Writing Feedback / SPENDING Money is easier than SAVING Money [2]

TOEFL - Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it, or is it better to save your money for some time in the future?

Enjoying money is much easier than saving but you should have enough saved money for enjoying it. I prefer to save my money rather than spend them on enjoyment purposes.

First and foremost, saving money can guarantee our future. These days, we have a financial crisis problem in the world so nobody knows what will happen in the near future. Besides we have a high rate of unemployment in our society. At least for me the future is gloomy and dark. As a result, I prefer to work hard know to save enough money for my future.

Furthermore, it is easier for young people to study different skills and work harder because they are full of energy and hope. For example, when I compare my parents current situations with myself I can easily understand that is very hard for my father to learn to work with computers or learn second language. Hence, I am as young man prefer to study hard and find a well-paid job. After a while, when I save enough money, I can enjoy my money. Also At that time I can share those money with my family.

On the other hand, I think woking hard and saving money cause me to not enjoy my life. When I meet some of my friends who not think about the feature and only enjoy their money are so happier than me. I regret why I cannot enjoy my life.

To sum up, both saving and spending money have its own advantages and drawbacks. As a result, I think make a balance between this two has better results. Finally, do not be so nervous about the feature because today was our yesterday future.
Sep 13, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Where should children grow up? Countryside or Big city? [2]

It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree?
Growing up children is a big burden on parents' shoulders. Since, the most important part of this process is education, in my opinion, growing up children in a city, because of having a good education system, is better.

The first and foremost reason why I think cities are better places for growing children is because cities have the latest teaching devices and methods. Moreover, it takes a lot of time for children who live in countrysides to use these new methods. For instance, when internet emerge as the important tool for research in schools, schools which are located in countrysides do not have internet and it took five years to they are able to use internet.

Second, usually cities have a better facilities and teachers. There are different schools in cities which each one has its own advantages. In addition, this big number of schools makes a good competitions between schools to give a better service to their students. As cities have more facilities and more schools for teaching, teachers prefer to stay in a city rather than countryside.

Last but not least, education cost is less expensive in cities than in countryside. Usually schools in cities have more students so they have more income. As a result, they can reduce their tuition. Besides, some big companies that only located in big cities provide some facilities for their staffs such as providing free education service.

To sum up, education is the most significant part of growing our children. Cities provide more opportunities and facilities in education for our children. One day if I had a chance to grow up my children in both countryside and a city, I would prefer to grow up my children in a city.
Sep 12, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Universities should give money to sport activities or libraries [2]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sport activities as they give to their university libraries.

Libraries and sports activities are play important roles in universities success. Most university rankings pay attention to quality of these two activities. In my opinion universities should invest in libraries more than anywhere else.

First, I think a library is vital and strategical part of a university. All professors and students need to have a modern and well-equipped library because, after internet, library plays an important role in research. Although sport is important, it does not have the same priority of library has. In addition only small part of students attend sport activities. For example, in my university number of students who use the library is much more than students do sports activities.

Second, usually libraries do not have income. Most libraries are free not for students also for public. Hence, universities support is vital for libraries. But sport activities have a good income because every sport has different matches and for each match they have a lot sponsors. Also, they have this chance to sell their important matches tickets. To conclude, there are good ways for sports activities to compensate their expenses, but it is very hard for libraries to find a good way for have an income.

Last but not least, investing in libraries has a long-time result. For example, a library can buy a lot of new books or they can buy more computers. Most of the library facilities are stable and you can use them for a long time. Besides, in the far future, they become more valuable. On the other side, most sports facilities except buildings are usually can be used in short-time and they are not persistent for a long-time.

In spite of the importance of sports activities, libraries are more important. They are critical part of universities and a good university has to have a modern library.
Sep 12, 2011
Writing Feedback / GRE essay-preserving the wilderness [3]

I think "Carbon dioxide" is better than "carbon-di-oxide"
Sep 9, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL-Television is the culprit for destroying communication between friends& family. [2]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Television has destroyed communication among friends and family.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinions.

It is very hard to find a home that does not have a television. Nowadays, number of television channels and programs are increasing everyday. Unfortunately, most of people do not have a plan for make a limitation or schedule for watching television. I agree with that idea that television devastate families ties.

In spite of enjoying watching television shows, it is really time consuming task. Emergence of new television channels or shows are not surprising. We kill time by tracking these channels so at the end of the day we understand it is late for doing any other activities. This is a problem that suffers all of us everyday. At the end, there is no time for call to our parents or friends.

Second, I think watching television programs makes us lazy. We usually spend our times in front of television for at least three ours a day when we come back home after eight-hour working in the office. Hence, we do not have time to spend for healthy activity such as going to a gym or doing other sports. This makes us a lazy person who prefers to do sedentary activities like watching television shows rather than be active and sociable.

Last but not least, some television programs have a negative effect on viewers. Some thriller or action movies advertise negative activities such as doing criminal activity. These genre of programs has more negative effects on our teenagers. They usually try to mimic what they see on movies in their daily behaviors.

To sum up, killing our time, making us lazy, and advertising negative behaviors are just only few reasons to show how television is destructive. I think it is a global problem to solve this problem and it is need global contribution to find a solution.
Sep 7, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL- What subject is the most important for students? [3]

Dear writer,
I did not understand from your introduction paragraph that you agree or disagree. You should choose one of these two sides.
I think your first paragraph does not have a strong topic sentence.
You should choose one of humanitarian or science.
Sep 7, 2011
Writing Feedback / Public transportation system - hometown, what would you change? [NEW]

TOEFL - If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer

A small positive change in my chaos city will bring a lot of benefits. One of the biggest problems my fellow citizenship have to tolerate is poor public transportation system. We have only a few old buses, and limited subway lines. If I had a chance to change an important thing in my hometown, I would improve public transportation system.

The first and foremost reason is decrease pollution. My city suffers from air pollution that comes from traffic fumes. I think, improving public transportation system can help my fellow citizenship to use public vehicle rather than their own cars. Consequently, we have less noise, and more fresh air.

Second, Solving a traffic problem. One of the biggest challenges in my city is traffic. Unfortunately, most of the cars in traffic jam have only one passenger. If we have good public transportation system, most of them will not use their own cars any more. Besides, these traffic james growing people anger. As a result, when they go their office or come back home they are usually angry and exhausted.

Last but not least, I would able to save my fellow citizenship time. We waste time sticking in traffic james or finding a parking lot because our city does not have capacity of these huge a mount of cars. Therefore, using public transportation helps us to have more time to spend with our families.

To sum up, improving our existent public transportation system would bring a lot of advantages for my city. Thus, if I had chance to change something, undoubtedly, it would be adding new buses and expanding our subway lines.
Sep 6, 2011
Writing Feedback / "create a positive movement in my city first" -A company to build a large factory [NEW]

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

Build new businesses such as a new company, university, and factory not only has a lot of advantages for a small city like mine, but also can solve a lot of unsolved problems. Building a new factory in my neighborhood has a lot of advantages and bring a lot of good changes.

First, build a new factory change my city situations go towards growth. A new factory needs a lot of workforce. In hence, we should make new settlements for this new worker so a lot of new buildings are built. These workers need food so a lot of new restaurants and supermarkets are opened. These are simple examples of positive changes in my city because of new factory.

Second, Creating a new factory can solve an unemployment problem. On of the biggest challenge in my city is a high rate of unemployment. A new factory makes a lot of my citizens attend this factory. Besides, many new jobs are created such as police officer and driver.

On the other hand, my city has a spectacular nature and fresh air. A new factory is a menace for my city because it can damage nature of my city. Movement a lot of workers makes huge air pollution. Also, the factory makes a lot air pollution. Furthermore, I think crime rates will increased my new workers. I am not optimistic about new workers. Maybe they do a lot of criminal activities in my city.

To sum up, create a positive movement in my city, solve unemployment problem, and create new jobs are cons of build a new factory in my city. I think all of my fellow residents are looking forward for this significant event.
Sep 2, 2011
Writing Feedback / Knowledge gained from real life?; Books are better resource for gain knowledge [3]

It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? why?

Theses days knowledge is power so the most significant task for us is gain more and more knowledge. There are several ways to gain knowledge and each of them has their owns pros and cons. According to me, we can learn a lot from experience. However, books are a better resource for learning.

The first and foremost reason is that reading books is a easier and safer way than experiencing different activities. For example, If you seek for a piece of information, you can easily find related book in your local library. otherwise if you want to learn by experience you should prepare a related situation and sometimes it is impossible.

Furthermore, books are a good resource in a wide variety of knowledge aspects. It is impossible for us to be expert in all science fields, but it is easy for us to know by reading related books. For example you can know about the Milky Way by reading different documents, but it is impossible to go to space and find out by your experience.

Last but not least, books are more reliable resources. When a new book published, different experts and scientist read that book and if they find a mistake on that book, helps the author to solve that. Therefore, their contents are accurate and confirmed by different people. It is very hard for us to check our experience that is accurate or not.

To sum up, Although you never forget your knowledge that comes from your experience, they are very limited. Books are better resource for gain knowledge because they are reliable and cover various sciences.
Sep 1, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - "a chance of cooking" - food has become easier to prepare. [3]

Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved they way people live?
In the past one of the controversy topic in each home was what food should be made and who could be prepared, but these days advanced technology helps humankind to cook their food easier and healthier. According to me, Frankly, it makes my life simple and helps me save time and money.

The First and foremost reason is that it saves our times so we can focus on our problems rather than preparing food. For example, in the past, preparing food was a big problem because finding and buying different food ingredients took a long time. Besides, finding a good recipe was very hard and time-consuming task.

Furthermore, these days everyone can cook food. You can find plenty of chain stores in your neighborhood so you can go there and buy precooked food. Then, you go home and cook them in less than 15 minutes. For example my father told me when he was young it was very hard for him to cook lunch, but now he can easily cook delicious food.

Last but not least, preparing food costs has gone down. For instance, if you want to cooke a pizza you can buy a precooked pizza. After that, you put it in the oven for 15 minutes. Then, it is ready, so you have saved energy such as gas and electricity. Therefore you pay less for those bills.

To sum up, focus on our business, giving everybody a chance of cooking a good quality food, and cutting the costs are only three advantages of this fact.
Sep 1, 2011
Writing Feedback / "Important milestone" - TOEFL- Why do you think people attend college or university? [4]

Persuading education and entering university are most important milestone in our lives. Furthermore, having a satisfying job is another significant fact in our lives which does not happen until we have a qualification form a good university. There are many reasons why having a good job is depend on having academic study.

The first and foremost reason of the importance of job is if you want to work in famous companies in your field you have to graduate from university. For instance, in may field popular companies such as Google and Apple always hire their engineers from people who graduate from university.

Furthermore, Money plays important role in our lives. One of the best and easiest way to earn enough money is having profession depends on academic degree. Well-paid jobs need well educated people whereas graduating from university can guarantee that.

Last but not least, it is impossible to find your desirable job without having academic degree. Nowadays jobs are very complicated which means needs experts who have different skills and knowledge. undoubtedly, university is the best place to build up those skills. People who do not have those prerequisites have a very low chance to find their ideal job. For example, if you want to be a doctor, you have to have a qualification.

To sum up, having a good career makes our lives easier and more enjoyable. In order to achieve our ideal job, attend to university is vital.