Jennyflower81
Dec 5, 2012
Undergraduate / How orchestra impacted me (Texas A&M Topic C) [2]
Music was my passion.
You may want to start out your paper with something a bit less cliche.
However, as I started to study music, I never realized the amount of responsibilities that I needed to keep myself dedicated to it.
Here is another way that you could say this: "As I began to study music, I had no idea how much responsibility it took to have steadfast dedication."
Nevertheless, my experience in orchestra had helped improve my academics , and my personal skills .
After moving to Texas, I taught myself how to play the guitar. Fortunately, these experiences had polished my observing and listening skills that were necessary to prepare myself to perform in large ensemble.
This sentence is too long, I think these ideas would sound better by separating them into 2 sentences.
In comparison to soloist, performing in a large group required more concentration, because there were more instruments that were needed to synchronize perfectly together.
You could also say it like this: "Compared to playing solo, performing in a large group required more concentration, because synchronicity is imperative."
Music was my passion.
You may want to start out your paper with something a bit less cliche.
However, as I started to study music, I never realized the amount of responsibilities that I needed to keep myself dedicated to it.
Here is another way that you could say this: "As I began to study music, I had no idea how much responsibility it took to have steadfast dedication."
Nevertheless, my experience in orchestra had helped improve my academics , and my personal skills .
After moving to Texas, I taught myself how to play the guitar. Fortunately, these experiences had polished my observing and listening skills that were necessary to prepare myself to perform in large ensemble.
This sentence is too long, I think these ideas would sound better by separating them into 2 sentences.
In comparison to soloist, performing in a large group required more concentration, because there were more instruments that were needed to synchronize perfectly together.
You could also say it like this: "Compared to playing solo, performing in a large group required more concentration, because synchronicity is imperative."