Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : Temperature in Kolkata graph [3]

The climate graph shows the number of temperature and precipitation in Kolkata during a particular period of a month.

Overall, the temperature in Kolkata stabled moderately while the downpour take a high percentage in the middle of the year.

As per data, by under 50 mm rain occurs in the first quarter of the year, it gradually increased before rise sharply to more than 250 mm in June. After a short peak period by more than 300 mm downpour occurs in July and August, it has almost halved to 150 mm in October. However, Kolkata region experience the driest period of the overall month by closely to zero rain happen in the last two months.

A closer looked to the curve line, Kolkata temperature' stands the coolest condition in the beginning's year. Appearing 20 Celsius degree it experiences a slight increase to nearly 30 Celsius degree in May. The figures leveling off in the average of 25 degrees before gradual fall to nearly 20 degrees in the end of the year.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS: Capital Punishment - is beneficial to penalize the recidivist [5]

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment in essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Capital punishment is beneficial to penalize the recidivist. Some people say that it may increase our security in lives and control the violence in the society, while critics against it. I tend to agree that capital punishment may effective in side of law but not acceptable in the field of humanity.

Capital punishment is highly beneficial on criminal punishment. There is no exception to punish a holocaust actor and also humanization criminals as their dreadful crime causes a large number of deaths. For example, Saddam Husein, as a Libya leader who raises domestic war in his country got the capital punishment from the rebellions. The effect of such punishment can be prevented another criminals to do the similar crime. As the domino effect while a person see a terrible punishment occurred as result of something, it tend to stop the similar tendency.

However, in the side of humanistic view, human should be honour for their right. God giving people live and it is cruel while living is decided by the law. I believe that everybody is changing and also we should give a chance for people even they are criminals to make betterment in his life. It does not mean that I agree criminals should be live freely after some criminalization they do. Giving the second opportunity for people to change is wiser than that of capitalize them directly after crime. In any case of a robbery or terrorism attack, taking consideration as the curative measure is viewed more beneficial over doing capitalization.

Having said that capitalization is a good way to punish criminals in kinds of dreadful criminals also prevents another criminal's tendency. However, people may get a second opportunity even though the hazardous occurred as the effect of their behaviour. I agree that punishment should be stand strictly to control the violence in the society but not in shape of capitalization.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : UK Residence travel report [3]

The first table presents the number on reasons visiting abroad by English people and the second table shows Briton's travel destination during a particular year, from 1994 to 1998.

Overall, the highest number of overseas travel recorded in 1998, whereas holiday stood as the most popular reason to go abroad among UK residents in the statistic. Besides, trend to go to Western countries had shown the highest intention of Britons under review.

Britons traveler coming highest movement revealed the number of 20.700 holiday trips in 1998, while the least 982 trips accounted for other purposing in 1994. By comparison with the former, 3188 business trips in the following year had almost threefold in full loan of travels journey. While the UK residence going abroad to visit friend or relative stood the average of 2774 trips in 1996, a slight increase by 3051 occurred in the following year's under review.

A closer looked at the second table, in 1997 by 23.661 Britons traveled to Western, such destination had more than tenfold in comparison with North America being accounted by 1559 English people destination. Other areas attracted 1782 Britons to go there in 1994, while the highest 2486 trips showed in the last year measurement.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS: Government should be considered to budget more for preventing programs [3]

"Prevention is better than cure"
Out of a country's budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement

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Prevention is better than cure. In the national field, it is important to note that government should be paying more attention regarding the funding for supporting the people's health. Some people argue that it should be diverted large amount of money to support health education and prevent measure rather than allocate it for curing purpose, while some critics said the reverse. I tend to agree that government should be considered to budget more for preventing programs.

Helping people with health problems is not merely cured after the disease comes, but doing prevention step is stood as more beneficial. However, government is expected can be wise to budget amount of money in the post of prevention in order to increase the public health. For example, region authority in my living area has a health insurance program for people aged 65 or more to check their monthly condition in health centre. In any case, there is necessary to have a post for health remedies.

On the other hand, the cost for health service is unnecessary to be separated between treatment program and preventative measures. As both of mentioned programs come under a part of health program, it should be gathered in the same funding source. Thus sometimes it may raise problem related to the equality of proportion and also triggered critic from the opponent group. Taking Indonesia's case of BPJS, health insurance provided by government, which makes disappointment among members. Some observer noted is caused by the displacement budgeting in field of health service. In this case, I tend to agree that each of budgeting field should be separated to make a clear report and target. If it is separate clearly, I think there are no crush one another in budgeting using.

Having said that the prevention or treatment budgeting cannot be noted as the one is more important than other. While I tend to agree that the budget should be separated, in any case the subsidy is possibly occurred when one of them is ended up before the new budgeting is reconstructed.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : People move to cities is increasing [3]

People today move to new cities or new countries more than ever before. What challenges do they experience? What strategies are there to meet these challenges?

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Throughout the world an immense migration through cities raise a pace than decades ago. Obviously, some challenges are related to such phenomenon which will be faced immigrants as an exercise to treat their toughness. However, some strategies should be prepared in order to increase immigrant readiness before turn onto the real migration.

Different living habit challenges a city migration. Also, modern cities are identically with individualism as their personal task fulfillment forces them to reduce socialization time. Engaging with such habit can be triggered a culture shock for city newbie. For instance, working habit in Japan takes high rate of individualism among inhabitants. In case, a new worker coming from highly socialized place which cannot express the togetherness feeling, loneliness will be very suffer. It is also important to talk about different taste of cuisine. While newcomer cannot adapt with serving cuisine, they might be got a health problem as insufficient nutrition intake. For instance, West Sumatra region identically cooked spicy taste. When Javanese people refuse to eat such identical taste, they might experience a gastric as their favourite is unavailable there.

On the other hand, best preparation brings best adaptation. Therefore, observing the destination places entirely may be the best advice. For example, Getting LOA from University in Canada, My uncle collects all of living habit there in order to increase his readiness before class started. Also, try to simulate local habit is another best preparation. While Canadian University requires their student to make 5 essays a day, it is good to write with similar quantity as their struggle with happening challenge.

Having said that, experiencing the challenges always engage in new immigrant. Even though sometimes it is hard to be an immigrant, the best preparation will be benefitted especially for immigrant's mentality. I believe that well prepared brings good live in a new place.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK I : Britons weekly expenditure on fast food (two charts) [11]

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task
The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
You should write at least 150 words.
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The bar chart shows the weekly spending by Britons on three types of fast food: Hamburgers, Fish and Chips and Pizza, while the line graph present the fast-food consumption during a period of 20 years, between 1970 and 1990.

Overall, the all mentioned figures are varied noticeably, while Hamburger noted as the most favourite fast food for high and average earners, the low earners ate much Fish and Chips. Meanwhile, between 1970 and 1990 the increasing consumption of Hamburger is far higher than that of the Pizza and Fish and chips experience a dip consumption.

As per bar chart information, high-income group was more likely to consume hamburger, accounted more than 40 pence per person. It accounted more than twofold expenditure by comparison with the low-income group which spent 14 Hamburger per pence per week. The average-income people also consumed hamburger around 32 pence per week, while they ate more pence Fish and Chip compared to the previous groups, rising to around 8 pence. In case of lower earner the expenditure on Pizza stance as the least 7 pence standing in contrast with other 20 pence and 12 pence consumed by the two other earner groups.

A more detailed look at curve line movement reveals that the consumption pattern over statistic years was not always similar. While Fish and Chips decline slightly from 300 grammes in 1970 to around 220 in 1990, Hamburger and Pizza consumption rose tremendously over 20 years under review. Coming 100 grammes consumption in 1970 Pizza's consumption rocketed to reach a peak by more than 500 grammes in 1990, whereas pizza showed a less grammes by comparison with the former trend. In 1970, the average 50 grammes Pizza consumed by Britons began to rise dramatically onward to come nearly 300 grammes in the end of measurement.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Number of childeren ever born from mother aged 40-45 [6]

A study conducted by Australian ABS results the table concerning the percentage of the overall number baby birth from women aged 40-44 over a-15 year period from 1981 to 2006.

Overall, while the percentage of the number of baby birth varied markedly, mother aged 40-44 giving birth 2 or 3 babies in their pregnancy.

As per information, mother birthing two children depicted an average of 38 %, notably as the top notch during a particular decade between 1996 and 2006. As contrast with the former, the least one child or more than 4 children achieve by old mother showed the average 11 % and 13 % conversely in the similar year's statistic.

Looking back to past year, in 1986 by 9.7 % women did not have any baby while nearly threefold increase in 3 babies' mother. Similarly, a slight increased by more than 4 times percentage showed in single baby birth in comparison with two babies, accounted more than 8 % alongside the approximately 36 %. In the recent years the number noted as the least percentage of the overall data under review, by less than 9 percent for zero and one baby birth contrary with a higher 27 percent than that of other three groups.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS: Subway system in London, Paris, Tokio, Washington, Kyoto and Los Angeles [4]

I am honour this forum regulation. I wrote the same report in this link https://essayforum.com/writing-feedback-3/task-subway-system-s ix-major-countries-56328/. As far I feel insufficient about my writing I try to write it down again. In the beginning I try to re-open my old writing and hope I can post the newest in the bottom of the comment. But unfortunately it is not permitted.

I do not have any intention to against the rule of this forum. I just want do much practice. I hope my newest post, with the same prompt, is permitted. Thank you

The table presents the subways systems in 6 major countries in terms of opening date, length of route, and passenger per annum in millions.

Overall, all the mentioned features varied notably, while Kyoto's system accounted for the shortest route and lowest passengers in the statistic year, the oldest system in London showed the longest length.

London subway system coming first construction in 1863 revealed the length of 394 km and carried 775 passengers. By comparison with Los Angeles' railway being inaugurated in 2001, lengthening 11 km and delivered 50 passengers in their route, such system nearly sixteen-fold increase in full load of passengers. Coming second constructed in 1900, subterranean in Paris delivered 1191 passenger. There was a slight number in comparison with Tokyo's system gaining 1927 commuter involve in their system.

A closer looked at the a-hundredth kilometers length under the longest route. Built in 1927, Tokyo's subterranean depicted the lengthof 155 km, a 30 km longer than that of Washington DC railways which constructed around 50 years following. Standing in contrast with the two former mentioned, railway system in Paris, having 199 km length, showed a slight higher and noted as the second longest route of the overall systems.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : Changes of mode transportation using in UK [5]

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The table presents the data concerning the alteration in various means of transport in UK during a particular year from 1985 to 2000.

Overall, the overall average distance travelled by all transportation types increased markedly while car stance as the most popular vehicles using by England people in the given period.

As per information, English's people travelled by car which reckoned for over 300 miles per person per annum in 1985, the number then rose sharply to the average 4800 miles in the following 15 years. Capturing an average increase by 77 miles, train coming second popularity. Similarly, in terms of long distances gained by bus and taxi depicted in increase to nearly threefold each during the statistics. However, a rose by more than a hundred miles showed in the other mode of transportation un-mentioning specifically in the tables.

Striking contrast, local bus using fell from 429 miles in 1985 to 274 miles in 2000, noted as the greatest degradation. Also, in year 2000, the average people walked and cycled less than that of the formerly did in the beginning, reaching 237 miles and 41 miles respectively.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : High sum of money of modern artist [4]

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while other struggle to survive. Government should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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The amount of money people earning sometimes is unfair. In a field of art, modern artist may receive high salary for their masterpiece creation while labors should be break their bone for years to get similar amount of money. Although some people view that government should be take a responsibility for this unfair situation, critics against such view. I agree that in this occasion the government is not granted to hand in.

Proficiency brings perfectness in terms of art work. It is true while the modern artists who implement their creative thinking onto high value creation are paid with immense sum by the art collector. Also, the high sum which modern artists receive is related to the quality instead of the quantity and their rare talent. For example, a 15 centimeter Buddha temple made by hand is granted times in comparison with factory production. On the other hand, modern artists also devote themselves find a unique concept in which ordinary people cannot do, such making impossible become possible. Pieter Padang, Minion creator, has brilliant idea to alter part of song lyric "I swear" become "underwear" when the Minion sing in Despicable Me. He granted huge sums for such idea.

Striking contrast, labor working in the merchandise factory receive coin of dollar even they make a hundred of 15 cm Buddha temples a day. In any case, a musician playing "I swear" several times receives different earnings that Padang got because the musician re-plays the song without any creation. Moreover, government cannot equalize the price of creation of modern artist because there is no certain parameter to value it, art value is about taste.

Having said that the huge sums of modern artists receives related to their struggle in the field of art, while the term of struggle might different with other field of job. I agree that government cannot take steps to make the salary between modern artists and other job similar because art price is about taste.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Different age group work in economical sector [9]

Helo friend. Honestly I have weaknesses in observing trend in task one, especially when the task serve table and require me to make comparisons. I have problem to add number, then making comparison and also which part of the trend I should mention.Another problem is lack of vocabularies, make me often do redundancy. My exam date nearer and i still have no confident in writing. Here I try to do.

The table below shows the in which sector of the economy different age groups were employed.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant
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The table compares the numbers of people in the three age groups which are employed in the particular sector of economy.

Overall, the number of people who work in each sector varied markedly, while the overall age groups show similar number of worker in law sector.

As per information, while health sector employed huge number of worker, the manufacturing sector stance as the highest numbers of economical sector employing the workforce. Next, under ten people, in each age group, work in the agriculture and catering sector, the least of people working in accountancy also shows the resemblance number. Retail and the other mentioned sector are likely to hire more young people than that of the older, while education and local government paid more mature people to work on their field.

A closer looked at the overall age group, while the variation employer in number working in the each sector, at least twelve people in the same group work in the two different sectors. In the 16-25 age groups such number shows in the manufacturing and health sector. Then, the twelve for middle age, under review, work in the local government and education also the twelve oldest workers are hired in the education and health sector.

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