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Posts by Abdurasul
Name: Abdurasul Abdurahimov
Joined: Mar 10, 2014
Last Post: Nov 10, 2014
Threads: 32
Posts: 86  
Likes: 4
From: Uzbekistan
School: 2

Displayed posts: 118 / page 1 of 3
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Abdurasul   
Nov 10, 2014
Writing Feedback / High salaries and not disturbing during work are the key factors of encouraging people to teach [2]

These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools.
What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?


It is certainly true that the number of people who are willing to work as a teacher, especially in secondary schools, is on the decrease. This essay aims to explore the main culprits for this issue and to suggest appropriate solutions to it.

For a variety of reasons, the job of a teacher is becoming less popular than it used to be in the past. Firstly, it is indisputable fact that the salary of teachers does seem to be low despite of its importance in the lives of individuals and society at large. Secondly, in many developing countries, teachers are being enrolled in extra activities. In Uzbekistan, for example, there is a number of teachers who are involved in picking up cottons during an academic year. Thirdly, the job of an educator is notorious for being full of stress and aggressiveness due to the fact that many students are extremely noisy to teach and difficult to manage.

Nonetheless, there do seem to be certain preconditions of solving the aforementioned problems. The first appropriate course of action is increase the amount of salary that teachers are offered. From my point of view, high salaries can encourage a number of people to become a teacher. Apart from the economical aspects, non-existence of extra works (e.g picking up cotton) can be attributed with the idea of rising the number of teachers. The main reason for this is that people might avoid becoming teachers not because of a lacking desire to teach, but rather being engaged in extra activities.

In conclusion, high salaries and not being disturbed from academic process are the key factors of encouraging people to become educators.

278 words.
Abdurasul   
Oct 21, 2014
Writing Feedback / Social networks (Facebook) are harmful: agree vs disagree. [3]

Question:
The increasing number of social networking sites does more harm than good to people. Facebook can be taken as an example. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


It is certainly true that the social networks, particularly Facebook, have become an inseparable part of our lives. While there are some valid arguments to the contrary, I believe that the benefits of Facebook outweigh its drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are some people who argue that networks such as Facebook are resulting in social isolation. To clarify, those people who are engaged in surfing the social sites excessively are tend to have a lack of confidence while "tete-a-tete" conversations with other people. Therefore, they do seem to loose their communications skills. On the other hand, the rest of people underline the fact about the existence of adult content which can have an adverse impact on children. However, there are certain advantages that can easily overwhelm potential pitfalls of using the social networks.

Further and even more importantly, Facebook does seem to have a wide range of positive features. Firstly, many people have benefited from this social webpage for its usefulness in terms of education. Facebook users, for example, can get daily suggestions for their study aspects by clicking "like" buttons on different pages. Secondly, it has become a powerful tool in order for people to keep in touch with loved ones in far away places. Finally, there is no doubt that for the majority of people Facebook has become a place where they can share all their experiences (photos, videos, links and so on).

In conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the social networks that are similar to Facebook have been very positive trend due to the aforementioned reasons.
Abdurasul   
Oct 21, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Challenges and Strategies of People who Move to New Cities or New Country [4]

Hello)

In Indonesia, there is a massive transmigration in Soeharto's Period while many Javanese was encouraged to move to Sumatra, Kalimantan and Sulawesi islands.
I think this sentence is not needed in your introduction. All you should do is just to paraphrase the topic and write essay thesis. I have never seen examples in introduction part of essays.
Abdurasul   
Oct 10, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Task2 -Should all the zoos be closed? [6]

Hello)

I suppose that you use Simon's ebook(ex-examiner of Ielts). But I think you have imroved his ideas very properly)

Good job))
Abdurasul   
Oct 8, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Potential benefits of zoos overwhelm its pitfalls due to the facts presented below.. [3]

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views.

For many people, wildlife parks have become common places of spending a free time with friends and family. Although there are some people who argue against zoos, however, others hold an opinion that menageries are advantageous for various reasons. This essay aims to discuss both benefits and drawbacks of them.

On the one hand, animals in zoos are kept in artificial environments (e.g. cages or other sort of limited space). They rely on humans and therefore, loose their both ability and freedom to hunt for food. Another reason is that zoos exhibit animals with the purpose of making money. Some people claim that human beings have no moral right to use animals for entertainment and profit. Moreover, they argue that zoo animals live in unethical places as well.

On the other hand, there are certain benefits of keeping animals in zoos. Firstly, they play an important role in wildlife conservation. To clarify, zoos can help to protect endangered species of animals. Secondly, zoos are educational, interesting and fun. Children, for instance, enjoy learning from animals and hence, menageries can be very useful for them. Moreover, those places allow scientists to study animals and their behavior. Finally, zoological gardens provide many job opportunities, in particular, for local residents.

In conclusion, I believe that the potential benefits of zoos overwhelm its pitfalls due to the fact that they are interesting, educational and fun.
Abdurasul   
Oct 8, 2014
Writing Feedback / Doing social activities make a strong effect on student's personality; libraries vs sports support [3]

First and foremost, you should make it clear where is your introduction, body and conclusion. Pay attention to the "layout"...

Secondly, some of your sentences are really long and confusing and therefore, it is difficult to follow.
For example :
We find that some people hold the idea that sports and social activities are very important just like the other courses at university; on the contrary, others maintain that we shouldn't waste the money for these kinds of activities.

Finally, work on your coherence and cohesion, because there is no strict "borders" between intro, body and conclusion in your essay.

Hope it helps:)
Abdurasul   
Oct 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / Ielts: Animal testing is used in important medical researches. [2]

Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


It is no doubt true that animals are used in important medical research. While some people argue that humans have no moral right to do experiments on animals, others hold an opinion that it is necessary to test new drugs on animals for the safety of human beings. My opinion is more practical and worthy of being paid attention that will be known within the scope of my essay.

To begin with, people who argue against animal testing, claim that the benefits researches do not justify the suffering caused. Therefore, those people are in favor of respecting the lives of animals and stopping prosecuting experimentations on them in a way of using alternative methods. However, one must admit that researchers aim to minimize the suffer that animals experience. Testing for cosmetics industry, for instance, is banned in many countries all over the world. Moreover, scientists try to use alternative options of testing new drugs in order to avoid animal testing.

Further and even more importantly, there do seem to be certain benefits of experiments on animals that can easily overwhelm its potential pitfalls. The main reason is that animal testing helps us to advance our medical and scientific knowledge. For example, many important medical discoveries involved experimentations on animals. The other reason is bound up with the safety of new products for humans. It is certainly true that without testing a new medicament, it would be risky to allow clinics to use this sort of medicine when it comes to healing patients.

In conclusion, while I admit that there are some disadvantages of animal testing, I would argue that it would not be the most appropriate course of action to ban it completely.

283 words
Abdurasul   
Oct 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / The increase in selecting to live individually helps people have a better life; some cons though [2]

Hello)

I would like to give you my opinion about your essay:-)

The usage of linking words is good, but I have noticed some misuses... Especially, in your 2 body paragraph.
Further, you have to work on your "topic sentences", because both of your topic sentences are developed very poorly. In addition, the topic sentence of your 2 body paragraph is not appropriate, because you had to write a sort of sentence that could describe your whole paragraph. But you started your paragraph with positives, then ended with negatives.

For example, you could give topic sentence like this one:
"It is true that everything has two sides and living alone is not an exception."

One more suggestion, try to avoid using the same words repeatedly.

Overall, your ideas do seem to be good, but you need to learn to express them in more "formal way".

Keep writing-:)
Abdurasul   
Oct 6, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: the advertisement aimed at children should be restricted or even banned [3]

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.

Which viewpoint do you agree with?


It is no doubt true that advertisements have become an inseparable part of modern business. While overwhelming majority of people hold an opinion that advertisements manipulate people, others claim that this way of marketing has been extremely beneficial for human beings. My opinion is more practical and worthy of being paid attention that will be known within the scope of my essay.

For a variety of reasons, advertising might be harmful for us. Firstly, advertisers aim their marketing at children, because youngsters can easily be influenced by adverts. As a consequence, every single child can put pressure on parents to buy them things that are unnecessary. Secondly, we are encouraged to follow the latest trends on a constant basis and therefore, we live in a consumer society. Advertisers use glamorous and successful people in order to attract customers. Finally, people are persuaded to associate certain brands with a higher status. Consequently, our culture is becoming materialistic day by day.

However, there do seem to be certain benefits that can easily outweigh its potential pitfalls. One must note that companies need to tell customers about the products they have. In this sense, advertisements help us to be informed about the choices we have. In addition, advertising is a creative industry that employs many people and hence, it helps to reduce the number of unemployment. Ultimately, adverts are paramount parts of free market economies, because they create demand for products. It has become a form of modern art and people enjoy adverts.

Having considered all the arguments above, it can be concluded that advertising is to be regulated and the advertisement aimed at children should be restricted or even banned. Governments should only censor false information or products that are harmful for humanity.
Abdurasul   
Sep 30, 2014
Writing Feedback / Exposure to foreign language at primary school should be encouraged as much as possible - IELTS [11]

Sure:) I will do my best to help you:)) Because, my exam is also very soon and I understand you:) Mainly, I look for collocations on ielts-simon webpage. Secondly, you have to read a lot of essays for band score 9. If you want I can share them with you!) Finally, I have got many collocations from english books(not fiction, but research). You can find such books very easily with the help of Google.

Feel free to ask more questions;)
Abdurasul   
Sep 28, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: fathers and mothers are used to set role models to their children [3]

Topic: Parents are the best teachers. Agree vs disagree.

It is no doubt true that the first and the best teachers are parents. I completely agree with this view.

First and foremost, fathers and mothers are used to set role models to their children. Obviously, many young people try to take after their parents in every aspect of their lives. Moreover, stemming from uzbek mentality, it can be said that every single child is the mirror of their parents, as they are the main sources of getting basic rules of behavior and manners. If a father, for example, smokes very frequently in the presence of his son, then that boy is, more likely, will smoke as well. In this sense, parents are in a position of setting not only positive role models, but negative ones as well.

Further and even more importantly, parents personify the sort of people, who are very skillful and experienced. In clarifying, they are who have met the bittersweet and difficulties of life. In this respect, every single advice that is given by parents, is invaluable. In addition, the first and basic motivation towards books and education is given by them in a way of reading or telling stories at night to their children. My mother, for example, used to read many fascinating stories and I was keen on them. As a result, I got motivation and stimulus to read books, which is being extremely very useful in my life.

In conclusion, I once again restate my position that parents can be considered as the best teachers due to the aforementioned evidences.
Abdurasul   
Sep 28, 2014
Writing Feedback / Exposure to foreign language at primary school should be encouraged as much as possible - IELTS [11]

Vincent, I suggest you to learn more "formal" words. You can define them with the help of Cambridge Dictionaries. For example, instead of writing "get satisfied" you can write "derive a sense of satisfaction" which sounds more "academic" and formal.

Try to read a wide range of sample essays. In addition, I suggest you to go to the webpage of Economist Journal, where you can find a huge number of articles that are written in very formal and natural ways.

Hope it helps:)
Abdurasul   
Sep 27, 2014
Writing Feedback / Exposure to foreign language at primary school should be encouraged as much as possible - IELTS [11]

Hi!

I would like to give a feedback about overall essay. Firstly, you should learn to write more academically. Most of your sentences are more appropriate for speaking, not writing. Try to use more passive voices and linking words. Secondly, word order should be improved by you. In many cases, you wrote in a improper word order and as a result those sentences are not reader-friendly.

Hope it helps:)
Abdurasul   
Sep 27, 2014
Writing Feedback / In recent people tends to late marriage and late children. a)Why this happen ? b)What is the impact? [3]

Hi!

In recent decades, there is a phenomenon that people are missing their golden marriage age and couples delay parenthood. There are a number of facts that can be blamed for the delay and have to suffer of its bad impact.

Firstly I will tell the financial problem like unemployment problem and after hard and soul try if they got the job but little amount salary. - this sentence does not sound academic. It is more appropriate for speaking. Try to use passive voices.

You have quite good ideas, but you should learn to express them academically. Keep writing and you will succeed!
Abdurasul   
Sep 26, 2014
Writing Feedback / Ielts: key factors for being successful. [9]

I am very grateful that you have provided me with a very meaningful feedback:) For sure, it helps me significantly. Thank you:)
Abdurasul   
Sep 19, 2014
Writing Feedback / Ielts: key factors for being successful. [9]

Some people think that hard working and determination are the key factors for being successful in the life, other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both sides, what is your opinion?

It is certainly true that some people claim hard working and determination are the only ways to get successful in the life, while others argue that there are other factors that are more critical when it comes to achieving success. My opinion is more practical and worthy of being paid attention and it will be known during the scope of my essay.

One must admit that hard working is essential character for every single specialist, because without it no achievement can be reached. In clarifying, working hard on your speciality and being determined can help you to improve your knowledge, which has a direct and positive impact on a person's success. Alexander Pushkin, for example, is a great russian writer and poet, who had many difficulties with literature in his childhood, achieved success thanks for being hard-worker and determined. However, many people claim that apart from the aforementioned qualities, Alexander Pushkin had many other characteristics that had even greater impact.

In this sense, when it comes to getting successful, there are some other factors that should be considered in this regard. Firstly, ambitiousness is one of the key tips of a successful career, as it leads to dissatisfaction of people's current positions. In other words, people, who have got satisfied with their current knowledge, will get stuck and stop the process so-called "self-improvement". Secondly, punctuality is an important matter in this case. For instance, being late for business meetings can leave a negative impression on a person, which is extremely detrimental for a specialist. Finally, curiosity is needed for every single person, because it can help to get deeper knowledge and information about a product.

In conclusion, while I admit that the qualities such hard working and determination are important, I would argue that ambitiousness, punctuality and curiosity are equally necessary and are to be considered in this regard.

308 words. 40 minutes.
Abdurasul   
Sep 19, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Climate change is a threat for the earth regardless of people's actions. [4]

Hello)

I want to give you a feedback about your overall essay.
First and foremost, "layout" is very important! I mean, you should divide your essay into several parts. In your essay, it is difficult to define its parts:(

Secondly, your introduction is irrelevant to your topic. "No one can predict whether summer, autumn, or rainy season attacks to a country monthly." - it is not the thing that is meant by saying "climate change" :(

Finally, your ideas are good enough:) but remember : elegant ideas deserve elegant expressing:)
Abdurasul   
Sep 4, 2014
Writing Feedback / Ielts task II : Vegetarianism vs meat-containing diets. [4]

Topic: Human beings do not need to eat meat products in order to maintain a good health because they can get all their needs from meatless products and meatless substitutes. A vegetarian diet is as healthy as a diet containing meat. Argue for or against the opinion above.

It is undeniable that at present time, a good health can be maintained without consuming meat products. In clarifying, people can fulfill all their needs by means of meatless foods. Many scientists hold an opinion that when it comes to vegetarianism, it can be considered as a healthy diet. However, others tend to think that meat products can be beneficial when it comes to avoiding monotonous type of diet. To the best of my opinion, it is more practical which is worthy of being paid attention, and it will be known within the scope of my essay.

For a variety of reasons many people consider vegetarianism as a harmful trend. Firstly, people claim that vegetarians do not eat a balanced diet. As human organism is in need of organic food as well. Secondly, in many cultures, meat is the paramount ingredient in traditional meals. "Kebab", for instance, is one of the traditional foods of Uzbekistan, which consists of only meat. Finally, meat-eaters argue that animals are below humans in the food chain.

On the other hand, there are some benefits of a meatless diet that can easily overwhelm its potential pitfalls. A majority of people choose vegetarian diet for moral and health reasons. It can reduce the risk of disease like cancer. Therefore, people claim that it is unnecessary to kill animals when it comes to getting food.

Given these evidences, it can be clearly said that both vegetarian and meat-containing diets are to be kept when it comes to maintaining a good and stable health.
Abdurasul   
Aug 19, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Gentle manners vs Material possessions. [7]

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?


A majority of people claim that the qualities such as honor, trust and kindness are not valuable anymore, as social status and possessions have become an identification of a person. While I admit that in some societies people are too materialistic, I would argue that the traditional values such sharing and honesty have even more impact on a personal worth.

One must note that brands like "Armani" or "Mercedes" have become status symbols for many people. As a result, people aspire to earn more money in order to keep a high status in their consumer societies. For that reason, men have started persuading the latest styles and fashion. In my town, for example, people are more judged according to their wealth rather than knowledge or any other quality. But the same case cannot be observed in all regions of my country.

Nevertheless, characteristics such as sharing, honor and kindness are still the paramount factors of getting social status. For example, a much respected person and the president of Uruguay Jose Mujica is described as "the poorest president of the world". Thanks to his qualities like sharing, honesty and kindness, he has got famous all over the world. In this sense, it is one very salient proof of the accuracy of my position.

In conclusion, I believe that the value of kindness outweighs any material possession and keeps being the most important achievement of everyone. From my point of view, every society is to choose gentle manners as a definer of social status.

(251 words)
Abdurasul   
Aug 17, 2014
Writing Feedback / GRE essay: Many important discoveries or creations are accidental [3]

You use the same words too much! Use the synonims of these words or paraphrase. Or try say it in a different way! Because, it makes your essay too boring and verbal!

You have very good ideas. But remember: Elegant ideas deserve elegant expression.

Good luck!
Abdurasul   
Aug 15, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: World Wide Web has been very beneficial invention for humanity [3]

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


It is common knowledge that the Internet has become inseparable part of our daily life. Undeniably, it has its own pros and cons. From my point of view, benefits of the Internet surpass its drawbacks according to the following reasons.

One must note that the Internet makes our life easier. Firstly, it gives us instant access to information on any subject. For example, by using Google search engine it is possible to find a wide range of information about everything. Secondly, shops and other services are now available online. There are a lot of online shopping websites where people can purchase or buy anything from the comfort of their home. Finally, the Internet is becoming very popular source of earning money. For instance, many web designers earn a great deal of money by creating a new business websites for organisations and companies. The popularity of such jobs is increasing very rapidly day by day.

Further and even more importantly, the Internet has revolutionized the way people interact with each other by making it easy. It is becoming very popular to use instant messaging services such as Whatsapp, Telegram and Viber. Video calls via Internet are becoming common for business meetings and personal conversations. For example, many students all over the world leave their families and go abroad in order to get better education. These people use Internet to keep in touch with their loved ones who live in faraway places.

In conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the World Wide Web has been very beneficial invention for humanity according to aforementioned evidences.

(289 words)
Abdurasul   
May 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / pros and cons when children were learned foreign language in primary shool [4]

so that make them can learn it clearly

there are also have a lot of disadvantage

they were learned

they have older and their brain was more developed

These sentences are TOO confusing and need "re-writte".
Moreover, I noticed a lot of misuses of articles :(

Note: before posting essays, be sure that you are giving full prompts(agree or disagree? both views?) and the purposes(IELTS, TOEFL) of them.
Abdurasul   
May 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Why music is so important? It's indispensable part of people's life [6]

For me, one of the greatest pleasure in life is to sit down and enjoy some great music. There is nothing better than being engrossed in a song, and it is the same for many people. Then, you may ask, why do people like me have a special favor for music?

Well, it seems ok. In my opinion, it'd be better if you gave a background of your topic and present it clearly. Try to keep your writings reader-friendly and not confusing.

I agree with eddies. The last sentence of your introduction should express your position.
Abdurasul   
May 27, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: increased sport facilities vs other measures. Discuss both views. [3]

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is to increase the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


According to some people, increased number of sports facilities can be the best way to reduce the number of sicknesses and improve public health. While I admit that sports are very pivotal for our health, I would argue that there are other equally important factors and measures that need to be considered in this regard.

On the one hand, sport is a basic tool to improve both physical and mental states of a human organism. It is irrefutable fact that people mainly use sports in order to maintain a good health. Moreover, with the development of an advance technology, sports have become very essential nowadays. In this sense, governments should create new sports facilities in order to make their citizens healthier. For example, Sweden offers to its dwellers a rich variety of sports facilities and gyms in every region of the country. As a result, the level of public health in this country is very high. However, many other steps, apart from improvements in sports, were taken in this country in order to improve public health.

Therefore, there are other measures that are just as important as sports. Firstly, developed healthcare service can have positive impact on public health. Governments should improve the quality of their medicine. Secondly, governments should implement accurate measures to keep environment clean. As human organism need fresh air and clean water in order to maintain healthy state.

In my opinion, focusing on sports excessively can be considered as a shortsighted view, because there are many other factors that contribute to our health and make even greater impact.

(262 words)
Abdurasul   
May 15, 2014
Writing Feedback / Advantages and disavantages of gap year [7]

Some(use a noun! e.g. people, experts) think gap year is a

In this passage, I would like to take both views into account to see whether gap year has more pros or cons.

It is not so good way to introduce the thesis statement(anyway examiner expects from you to do so).

To sum up, it seems to me that a gap year has more pros than cons...

To sum up, I believe that the benefits of a gap year outweighs its drawbacks.
Abdurasul   
May 15, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: The best period to start learning languages? [2]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

According to some experts, primary schools are the best places to start teaching children to foreign languages compared with sedentary schools. It is my strong belief that the benefits of learning foreign languages at primary schools surpass its drawbacks.

To begin with, the opponents of such view argue that learning a new language from early years can lead to a bad consequences. They claim that at primary schools, first of all, children should be taught to their mother tongues. According to those people, a new language at primary schools can prevent the full development of their first languages. Personally, I think it might be considered as a shortsighted view. As children can obtain speaking skills till schools and at primary schools they can be taught to grammar, spelling and reading skills, simultaneously, with a new language.

Nevertheless, there are many benefits of starting to teach a child at an earlier years. The main reason is that young people are able to learn faster than any other period of their life. According to experts, youngsters are good at picking up a new languages at this period. For example, when I attended tutor of foreign languages, while I was studying at primary school, I had an adult group-mates. Surprisingly, I achieved more success and could obtain more language skills than adult members of our group. The another reason is that children at this period are fond of games and puzzles, which can have an immense and positive effect to their study process. For example, my english teacher at primary school used to organize many interesting educational games. Me and my classmates were keen on them. As a result, it had a perceptible and positive impact on our learning process of that language.

In conclusion, I once again restate my position that starting to teach children to a second language at primary schools is the most appropriate course of action. Moreover, it can have a very beneficial impact on a child's intellectual development altogether.
Abdurasul   
May 14, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Are changes negative or positive??? [6]

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a saying in my language "a ship is safe in a harbor, but that is not what ships are for." Many people all over the world are tend to consider changes as a very positive trend, while others try to avoid them. Although, there are some supporting aspects in favor of the negative effects of changes, I personally believe that the role of alterations in our lives is very important.

On the one hand, changes sometimes might be dangerous for our health. In other words, after changing something it might be difficult to adapt into it and as a result, it may cause some very serious health problems. For example, one of my relatives decided to move to foreign country, which was colder and rainier. As he used to warmer climate, his health condition started worsening day by day. As a result, it caused some major health problems for him. But the opponents of this view argue that the human beings are the most adaptable organisms in the Earth.

On the other hand, there are many benefits of alterations. Firstly, monotonous jobs make us very boring. The main reason for it is that we do the same things everyday and as a result, we shall have nothing interesting and new to say. Secondly, avoiding changes can lead people to loose communication skills. As a result, they can feel a lack of self-confidence while interacting with different people. Finally, changes help people to make their outlooks wider. As every change can be considered as an experience, which will directly have a positive impact on our minds and outlook.

In conclusion, It is my strong belief that the benefits of changes outweigh its drawbacks due to aforementioned reasons.
Abdurasul   
May 12, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: factor of choosing a career. [9]

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


In many societies, choice of a job depends on the size of the salary offered. Nevertheless, while I admit that the salary is very pivotal factor, I claim that there are other equally vital aspects that need to be considered in this regard.

To begin with, I agree that in order for people to cover their daily and general needs they need money as well. However, aspects such as: friendly colleagues, environment and work-place condition, sometimes, have even more impact on person's happiness and quality of life. People, for instance, who don't like their co-workers and working condition are considered less satisfied with their jobs, despite of a high salary. In this sense, it is also one very salient proof of the accuracy of my position.

Further and even more importantly, most of the satisfaction of a job comes to people from their professional achievements, skills and the position they reach. In other words, career promotion or getting some kind of credit from the administration of a company or organization are, likely, more enjoyable achievements than getting a high salary. For example, people, who work in monotonous jobs, where no achievements or a new positions can be reached feel themselves more dissatisfied, even though they have a very good salaries.

In conclusion, I disagree with the idea that salary outweighs any other motivators, as there are other even more important aspects such as: friendly co-workers, working conditions and professional achievements.
Abdurasul   
May 11, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Children from poorer families are more successful in the future life. [7]

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

According to some people, child who is brought up in less well-off family is more quick-witted and can tackle with an adult life problems better than who is from affluent ones. However, I completely disagree with this position.

To begin with, children from poorer families are prone to have bad habits such as: crime, thievery and thuggery. Moreover, these people will not have an access to a good education. As a result, they can be proselytized into bad isms. For example, most of the terroristic groups try to attract uneducated people, because the person with better education has a wider outlook, which will allow no brainwash. In this sense, people with lower level of education have more proneness to be attracted in such isms.

Nevertheless, people who are born in well-off families have access to good education, which will have a positive impact on their later life. Secondly, children from rich families have better skills on how to use money, because they use it a lot of times. Finally, wealthy families can afford better health services and costly medicines, which will be very beneficial for the health of a child. For instance, many good medicines cost vast amounts of money, which cannot be afforded by poorer families.

In conclusion, I disagree with the opinion that children who are brought up in less well-of families are, likely, more successful in the future life due to aforementioned reasons.
Abdurasul   
May 11, 2014
Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2: Recent medical problems and sedentary lifestyle. [9]

Many of the medical problems that people are experiencing in today's world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle.

To what extend do you agree or disagree.

It is certainly true that modern people are facing up to a new health problems and ailments than before. Many people claim that it is because of sedentary lifestlyle. However, while I accept that sedentary lifestyle is one of the key factors, I believe that some other factors are having even a greater impact.

To begin with, I agree that sedentary lifestyle lead to many serious health problems. The main reason why people are becoming so addicted to sitting at their homes even for the whole day is an advance technology. In earlier times, for instance, even the types of entertainment tools were not in large numbers and all of them required physical presence and as a result they had more outdoor activities. Nowadays people, especially inhabitants of cities, are spending most of their time on sitting in front of TV or other tools.

Nevertheless, there are some other causes why people are experiencing serious medical problems. Firstly, the environment of the modern world polluted very significantly from greenhouse gas emissions and other gasses. Many people, for example, are suffering from allergy because of these gasses. Secondly, foods with a low quality such as fast foods, junk foods and any genetically modified ones are influencing to our health very negatively. Finally, life becoming more stressful due to some recent problems such as traffic gam, traffic accidents and others.

Given these evidences, it can be seen that people are facing up with many recently appeared illnesses due to aforementioned reasons.

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