lcturn87
Jun 15, 2015
Graduate / The largest building society in the world and UK's first internet banking; Proffesional Cover Letter [6]
I think that the first sentence should be in paragraph. Generally, the first portion of a cover letter discusses what qualities make you a good candidate for the position. Then it progresses to more specific details that show your academic, volunteer, or work experiences that relate to the position. I'm not sure if the facts about the company should be in the first paragraph. Also, when you begin to discuss what you have learned through enriching experiences, you should add commas (i.e. eager to learn and people skills).
The last sentence in the next paragraph seems to fit in the first paragraph because it discusses your passion for the profession. In the next paragraph, you discuss that you will try your best. However, I think that you should be more specific because you want to show that you want to learn but you still have the ability to do well. The last sentence in this cover letter should be in the last paragraph. You are doing good thus far. I hope these changes will help you.
I think that the first sentence should be in paragraph. Generally, the first portion of a cover letter discusses what qualities make you a good candidate for the position. Then it progresses to more specific details that show your academic, volunteer, or work experiences that relate to the position. I'm not sure if the facts about the company should be in the first paragraph. Also, when you begin to discuss what you have learned through enriching experiences, you should add commas (i.e. eager to learn and people skills).
The last sentence in the next paragraph seems to fit in the first paragraph because it discusses your passion for the profession. In the next paragraph, you discuss that you will try your best. However, I think that you should be more specific because you want to show that you want to learn but you still have the ability to do well. The last sentence in this cover letter should be in the last paragraph. You are doing good thus far. I hope these changes will help you.