Graduate / If you want to cure, become a doctor : MPH application essay. [14]

-A typed, clearly written personal statement, which provides insight into your career goals; your interest in public health and the program; and how your education, work experience, and personal attributes describing your strengths and weaknesses have prepared you for admission to the program. ...

- What does it mean to you to be a global health or public health professional?
- What do you view as an important/pressing challenge(s) facing global health or public health at present or in the foreseeable future, and why?

Hey guys, kindly help me with personal statement for MPH program. I am looking for every kind of feedback. Thank You in advance :)
Its a bit lengthy, so I really appreciate if you can take time for this :) This is a rough draft and I am mainly concerned if this kind of introduction seems good. Thank you:)

Word limit :1200 words

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- Pre-term birth: Leading killer of newborn babies worldwide
- 800 women perish every day due to pregnancy and childbirth related complications
- 300 million people affected by depression worldwide
- 1 in 10 adults has diabetes
- 6 million people succumb each year due to tobacco abuse
- 6.6 million children under the age of 5 die each year due to malnutrition
- Cardiovascular diseases are the leading causes of death in urban centers
- 78 million people have contracted HIV globally; 39 million dead
- W. Africa Ebola outbreak: More than 10,000 dead in 2 years

4 years of dental surgery program, 2 years of healthcare education and more than 3 years of dental practice along with volunteer work alerted me to some of these grave challenges plaguing the world. These issues are a result of poor health facilities or failure to control the spread of epidemic virus in society. Most of them can be eradicated if everyone has access to simple and affordable interventions such as inexpensive vaccines & medication, clean water & sanitation, healthy diet, regular physical activity and health education. The success of these medical interventions require global medical attention, better infrastructure & framework and a greater professional workforce. According to WHO statistics the global health workforce shortage is expected to reach 12.9 million in coming decades. Pursuing Masters of Public Health is my first step towards my goal to become an asset for renowned health organizations like WHO and CDC to free the world of disease and hunger.

During under-grad studies and 1 year of internship I chose to participate in and organize rural camps over urban ones; chose less researched presentation topics over easier ones; did all my clinical work myself instead of contemplating easy approaches. In these camps I diagnosed and treated underprivileged patients, provided them education on oral health and provided accessories to maintain their oral hygiene. We extensively used Atraumatic restorative treatment (ART), the technique of treating dental cavity by using hand tools without electricity, anesthesia or dental chair, during our camps. I never got tired of clinical work and it motivated me to help as many patients as I could.

I often deliberated with my teachers including Dr. ******* Dr. ************* about the lack of dental hygiene in patients. Dr. **** enlightened how negligence of a single tooth cavity can lead to major infections involving the heart, lungs and brain through dental pus travelling through sinuses and tracts. Dr. ********** illuminated how the plaque formed on teeth due to no brushing or rinsing can lead to inflammation and infection of mouth with bleeding gums predisposing to severe oral infections . Likewise, negligence towards fundamental aspects of health can lead to severe degenerative diseases. Keeping these discussions in mind I educated my patients about the immense benefits of maintaining proper oral hygiene and the benefits of regular dental and medical checkups. I learned that prior restraint can help prevent health scares and motivated me to pursue public health.

After under graduation I was offered a job in a renowned private hospital with a caveat to bring high number of patients. I instead chose a Government hospital for observer-ship as welfare of society without profit motive is their mission. I witnessed patients with traumatic injuries, disabilities, severe infections, unknown cause of diseases and limited accessibility to health services. Some were unemployed and homeless and used to sleep outside the hospital. Some of them didn't have the means to pay for token treatment fees. These grim situations expanded my world view and steeled my decision to become a public health worker. I honed my skills for working in stressful situations, how to comfort terminally ill patients, how to treat disabled patients, how to manage time considering the long queue, how to effectively work in a team in emergency accident cases wherein inter-dispensary doctors need to co-ordinate and treat the patient. I was appreciated by my mentors for my in depth knowledge, zeal to learn and implement and my calm and friendly demeanor.

Afterwards I took a job in a private charitable clinic where I applied all my knowledge and treated patients independently with dedication. Impressed by my skills, confidence, decision making and ability to work in a team my employer often delegated me to run the whole clinic in his absence as he found me to be competent and reliable.

Along with my studies, I was part of a team of 10 that organized health camps, attended by hundreds, to help people incorporate healthier lifestyle. In these camps I specifically choose the role of an instructor. I helped people with obesity, diabetes and hypertension learn yoga asana and meditation techniques and achieved exceptional results. Many participants lost weight, lowered blood sugar and felt improved overall health. I was appreciated by my community for my dedication and selfless service. In US I have joined volunteer organizations like ********* whose aim is to end hunger in **(city)**** through food rescue, distribution, education and other innovative solutions which I strongly relate to.

Due to dearth of quality public health institutions in *****(home country)**** I enrolled in and completed with excellent scores a 2 year distance education program in healthcare services along with my practice. It helped me to develop insight into mechanics of healthcare industry through subjects like strategic management, hospital organization and research methodology. I want to cement that with MPH from a renowned institution like ********* known for its interdisciplinary approach to address the most pressing global health issues, cutting-edge research on public health issues and entrepreneurial spirit that advances and promotes equitable health for all. I am particularly fascinated by Dr. ****** who Co-Founded Healthpoint Services, an innovative health services company that markets clean water, telemedicine with advanced diagnostics and medications in rural India and Dr. ******, a leading epidemiologist, who along with Dr. ****** introduced courses with UNICEF and the UN's World Food Program to explore innovative new solutions to Ebola and Polio response. Her research on the complex relationships between social determinants and disease is what I am looking for in MPH. Her belief that public health practice and research go hand in hand resonates with mine. I believe MPH degree will endorse me to advance my efforts to attain health objectives at both national and international level. With academic knowledge and practical training, I am hankering after to start my own volunteer organization to advocate against practices of adulteration of food, poor diet and lack of emergency preparedness. I endeavor to advance my leadership qualities through innovative techniques and field experience put up by your institute. I acknowledge that no path is easy and neither are there any short cuts but I am all agog to set myself on a career towards global health with more of fieldwork than merely academic papers. I believe that "If you want to cure, become a doctor; if you want to prevent the need of cure, become a public health worker"

Scholarship / Scholarship essay- This is what makes me happy. [5]

Scholarship Addendum [limit 250 words]:
The school offers a limited number of competitive scholarships. If you would like to be considered for scholarship support, please describe your leadership potential, accomplishments and/or promise in the following domains:

Hi, Kindly help me to make a strong scholarship essay.
I am exceeding the word limits (Mine is 307:( ) and I have went through some scholarship essays but still could not get an idea how to write one strong essay. I am looking for every kind of constructive feedback. Thank you :)

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My friends ask me how I manage to think about volunteer in the programs for well-being of society, organize community health events when you are practicing as well as studying. I reply because that is what makes me happy and responsible. I believe more the responsibilities we take, more responsible we become.

Dental Surgeon was my career choice while serving humanity is my passion. I feel privileged if I can make a change in lives of other people by helping them to adopt a healthy lifestyle along with working towards preventive measures of diseases in society. Being a dentist allows me to free people of pain and becoming a public health worker will allow me to prevent that pain from occurring at first place. Thinking of this, I took the distance education in health care services while continuing my practice so that I can earn too. Meanwhile, I took the opportunity to organize health camps in my community demonstrating yoga and meditation for people suffering with problems that are common these days like obesity, hypertension and diabetes with professional guidance. We worked in a team of 7 and I was the team leader. With our efforts, we were able to achieve more than 50% of satisfaction level in our participants with decline in sugar level and weight reduction, less fatigue and a healthy lifestyle. Seeing the results, we also attracted participants from different communities and this spurred my confidence. I was acknowledged as a consistent, dedicated, reliable and trustworthy leader by the community members.

Pursuing MPH in **** university will give me experience of professional field training and chance to associate with multiple nonprofit organizations running in the *****City. I have also joined few US based volunteer agencies to learn about diverse culture and to continue on my path to become an asset to healthcare organizations like WHO.

Writing Feedback / Major cities are good for spending vacations or for money but to live I prefer a small town. [2]

Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Small towns symbolizes the traditional customs of a nation while big cities run on the technology wheels. On one hand small cities are quite with less facilities whereas major cities are equipped with all the facilities and are noisy with crowded people. I prefer to live in small towns with less people and more interaction.

I was raised in a joint family with grandmother, uncles and aunts, parents, cousins and siblings. I love being connected to each other on every small occasion while living in the same town. My marriage took me to the metropolitan city of our country. The one with metros and multiple highways. Roads are always crowded with cars honking and trying to surpass each other. I always heard about the fast lifestyle of big cities but never got a chance to live there. But when I did, I never liked it. As the adage says "Too many cooks spoil the broth". Same with the city , too many people have spoiled the charm of city. I am talking about the ordinary face of a big city where the roads are messed up with garbage and homeless people follow you on roads. This is why I never felt like to live in big cities.

I have visited US, the New York city one of the major big cities. The night life and liveliness enthrall the visitors. But seeing the helpless people on streets and roads with piles of garbage spreading smell all over is not the place to live in my eyes. Such cities are good for spending vacations or for enjoyment but one can not think of staying here for life. For spending the life, one always looks for peaceful and calm place salubrious to live. So do I , I prefer to live in a city where there would be no noise and a healthy environment to breathe.

Lastly, in my opinion big cities are not as safe as small towns. Small towns due to small population are easy to manage, thus have low rate of accidents or other mis-happenings. Whereas big cities are always in news for major casualties sometimes due to accidents, or some illegal actions. To exemplify, the town from where I belong has a good control of police who used to check any midnight vehicles traveling in and out or within the city. There is patrolling at every sector of the city and people are scared to commit a crime. On the other hand , the metropolitan city has several areas where it is not safe to go alone like in Delhi, the capital of India. Number of crimes took place during midnight due to no security. Thus, living in small cities is more safer than to live in major cities.

In a nutshell, I would say that major cities are good for spending vacations or for money but to live I prefer to live in a small town with a cheerful and safe atmosphere.

Writing Feedback / Every person has his own reason to visit museum as everyone thinks different. [NEW]

Many people visit museums when they travel to new places. Why do you think people visit museums? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

We visited Philadelphia last week and my husband who loves history took me to every museum he could. He read newspapers and he knows history whereas I am the person who visits museums to see the antique objects and to get a picture. This is why according to me we including people visit museums.

World is a diverse society with people with different attitudes. Some like history and whenever they travel they would like to go to museums to know more about a place. Museum is the only place where one would get an idea of culture, tradition and ancient lifestyle of that place like the liberty bell museum in Philadelphia. This museum depicts what is the history of liberty bell and how it was made and got a crack. It is interesting to note the facts behind an object from the period of independence.

Some people like to visit museums to be mesmerized by the beauty of ancient objects which is hard to find nowadays. I remember visiting a museum in India and it was in a palace. The palace was huge and it showed the lifestyle of the emperors lived in that city years ago. We saw a huge beautiful vase we have never seen before. Museums amaze people with beautiful and magnificient artifacts and people never hesitate to pay extra to visit such places. The palatial museum took us to large rooms with big dining tables with unique crockery like the ones used by kings and queens of that time. Sometimes, people are not intersted in history but attracted towards the tools and other equipments used in the past and that is the reason they visit museums.

We have a great population of writers, historians, and novelists around us. Authors visit museums to complete their journals about history while novelists visit to get inspired to write a novel realted to ancient period like romeo and juliet. Film producers visit to get a good background for casting their movies while photographers visit to make phototgraphs. Some people go to such places to spend some time in past while some people visit to analyse how the present is changed from the past. Therefore, every person has their own reason to visit museum as every person thinks different.

Writing Feedback / If I would be able to change something, I would like to enhance security of my town. [2]

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer

If I would be able to change something in my town, it will be enhancing the security for the city residents so that no one can die due to poor medical services or negligence of the authority.

I open my newspaper every morning to start a fresh day but get the news of deceased persons who took their last breath waiting to get the treatment or waiting for the ambulance. I would like to teach people about first aid help and emergency preparedness so that a patient can be alive till the time they reach hospital. More the people will be aware of medical help, more they will feel responsible the next time countering a medical urgency. In addition to that, I would like to improve the condition of the hospitals for handling the emergent cases with adequate staff and resources.

Secondly, overcrowded buses have led to increase in number of accidents leading to increase in fatality rate of the school and college students from our city. This is not only due to lack of transport facilities but also because of carelessness of the bus drivers who overcrowd their buses in greed of money. I would like to organize the transport system to ensure that no young life get lost while on their way to schools. For this, it should become mandatory for schools and colleges to provide the transport for their students coming from different areas in city.

Thirdly, increasing technology has led to crowding of roads with reckless drivers and has jeopardized the lives of two wheelers and peddlers. I would work towards making people aware about traffic rules plus would put certain speed limits for vehicles on road. Furthermore, in my opinion there should also be the traffic police on highways to check the fast driving vehicles. Many animals and people lost their lives due to youth driving carelessly on roads.

In a nutshell, in my eyes safety should be the prime consideration for any city. thus, if I will get a chance to change one thing in my city, I will work for the security of residents.

Writing Feedback / Is it more crucial for students to know ideas and concepts than to learn some facts? [NEW]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Learning facts is like cramming the subjects making the mind dormant while understanding the concepts and ideas behind the facts is like developing a subject making the mind creative. Thus, it appears to me that it is important for students to know the rationale behind a particular fact rather than memorizing the facts.

People believe that medical science is all about cramming the universal facts of already discovered medicines that which medicine is the cure of which disease. Most of the medical students tend to learn them but there are few who tries to know about the origin of the medicine and relates it with the treatment of a particular disease. I did the same, it helped me not only remembering the names of medicines but I am able to distinguish the effects and impact of drugs on body. This has led me to believe in traditional cure of illnesses as the origin of most of the drugs is in ancient science only. I got interested in Ayurveda. How our body is formed and how our lifestyle negatively impact our body and eventually make us go to doctors with debilitating diseases. Thus, I believe that learning concepts of medicines behind the facts intrigued me to learn about human anatomy and why our ancestors were more healthy than us ? I can say that knowing about the real picture behind what we see give us a new meaning behind a fact and helps us to remember them forever.

In school time, I had friends who were not so good in Maths . How hard they try , they were not able to improve in their exams. The reason was cramming the mathematical problems. They never tried to understand how a problem is solved rather crammed up the whole textbook. Whereas the students who understood the concepts though were not able to cover full text book, still were able to score better in exams because problems were different as compared to books but with the same notion . Thus, it is evident that learning facts would lead to failure until or unless one is not aware of the basic objective behind it.

I recently saw on Television , a school boy made a watch at home and was rewarded by American President. These kind of discoveries are made only when a person knows what was the design of making a watch . If students will start learning facts, there will be no more discoveries in future. As the adage goes," To discover is to create" and adding further "To create is to forget about the certainty ".

In a nutshell, I would say there are certain truth like in history that first scientist to reach moon is Neil Armstrong is a veritable sentence that one needs to remember as a part of their General knowledge. But when it comes to making your own history, one should know the drift that made Neil Armstrong to reach the moon.

Writing Feedback / Advertisements should not be directed towards little children but for adults [2]

Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Televisions today has not only become a source of entertainment but a daily routine for most of the families including children and so have the advertisements shown on it. These advertisements are meant for commercial purposes, few are meant for awareness but with the increased business trend they have started targeting the young children too through toys companies. This should be stopped because kids of little age become stubborn and demanding seeing these attractive endorsements.

Recently my nephew started crying for a toy he saw in one of the ads on TV and unwillingly my sister had to buy an expensive toy for him. He becomes too persistent for purchasing the toys shown in channels every time his parents go to market. This made me realize that why young kids are becoming targets for the commercial companies and why they advertise on cartoon channels or other kid channels. Instead of showing fairy tales, publicity of goods has overwhelmed the television now. Thus I believe that advertisements should be meant for adults only and not for children. They will demand for what they see as they are highly influenced by the creative channels like POGO, cartoon network and want to emulate that.

Such kind of ads comes up showing other small kids and show how a small kid asked his parents to get something and how he is happy . The kids tend to imitate them and this has become a problem for low income families.

In a nutshell, I would say that advertisements should not be directed towards little children but for adults. The kids should be able to see their cartoons without any commercialization though. This is for their entertainment but not to attract them as customers.