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Posts by Anaguna
Name: Nursyam Anaguna
Joined: Mar 30, 2016
Last Post: Sep 27, 2016
Threads: 21
Posts: 27  
Likes: 5
From: Indonesia
School: State University of Makassar

Displayed posts: 48 / page 1 of 2
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Anaguna   
Sep 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Be the professional photograph by using smarthphone [4]

Hello Giansy, your writing is excellent, however, I suggest some suitable words which can be used to produce well sentences. Those words are put on the second paragraph showed below:

"Smartphone cameras can give a great ... "

"Smartphone cameras can produce a great photograph, but it depends on how user uses that sophisticated technology. Using such cell phone camera is that indeed the user cannot be separated by many common problems which occur due to bad quality of the images such as the auto-focus, flash, and zoom digital. The tricks in operating that technology are believed as methods of solving the mentioned problems and it can be coped with an agility of photographer in utilizing that camera. "

Thanks
Anaguna   
Sep 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job really enjoy? WRITING TASKS 2 - IELTS [2]

Hi Andika, here I give you another example regarding your introduction as my though after reading your essay. I hope it can be useful for improving your skill in writing.

Many ways can people do so as to be happy, although indeed it could be different joyful experience for any individual. A number of people believe that loving on working a certain job is one acceptable method to obtain a satisfaction, however, others are more likely to stand up in reverse that various factors are still inevitable such as entertain their selves by either watching preferred games or staying at a resort. I strongly tend to admit that the latter notion is undeniable reason on how to be perfectly getting happiness, not only because of doing a heap of pleasureful job, but also by entertaining individual necessity.

Thanks.
Anaguna   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary Article - Indegenous 'Chola' Clothing Comes to Fashion Week [3]

Hi Fadhil, I have read your summary and I thought some corrections will be essential for improving your ability in writing.

"A Bolivian fashion designer present her local culture through...
... local women who wear traditional clothes included hat...
This is huge deal for her to show it in the international level."

Using verb + s/es: if the noun is singular then you have to add s/es after verb.
A Bolivian fashion designer (singular) presents her local culture ...
"Cholas" is known as the local women who wears traditional clothes.
This is becoming a huge deal for her to show ... (I put word "becoming" and "a" so as to make a clear statement).

Thanks.
Anaguna   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Cars lead a sprawl of some areas, not only in urban places but also in rural and suburban range. [2]

Hi Ros, here I give corrections on your summary, hopefully it can be useful for making a betterment in your summary.

1. The sentence
"... to span the rivers and reached a long-distance locations"
This is because the word "span" should has similar type with "reach" as the verb one. (to + verb 1).

2. The subsequent sentence
"In the early twentieth century, electric cars were ... For your suggestion, you have to beware about the punctuation marks in your summary.

Thanks.
Anaguna   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Am I hero? The Epic Ed Snowden [2]

Hi Giansy, here some corrections are added regarding on your summary in order to improve your capacity in writing.

1. You have to think twice before write down the sentence especially about the subject-verb agreement.
For instance, "Ed Snowden become" > "Ed Snowden becomes ", "he divulge the big secret of NSA" > "he divulges the big secret of NSA", "he was work" > "he was working ", "he suddenly divulge NSA confidential documents" > "he suddenly divulged NSA confidential documents".

2. For this sentence "... and has title as a traitor, a hero, but he prefer to ...", I reckon that it will be better if you just abolish the word "but" since you have been utilizing "even though" in front of your sentence. My suggestion is "Even though he has much follower and has title as either a traitor or a hero, he prefer to claim himself as an American and a citizen, just like everyone else."

Thanks.
Anaguna   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Tourism as a remedium for peace between people? [4]

Hi David, here I put additional corrections for your summary:

First, you have to be careful in using "to", for instance you utilize "he felt angry and want to gave revenge", it should be " he felt angry and want to give revenge".

to + Verb 1 (to give, not to gave)

Second, if you want to say "he was seven years old", "he was 18 years old ", you can write down a variation of sentence such "he was in the age of 18 "

Thanks.
Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Making bricks process. First, the clays that are served in a nature are scrapped by the digger. [2]

Writing Task 1

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.


The diagram presents the manufacturing process of bricks for construct buildings. There are several stages to produce some bricks and it can be seen that the method of production mostly used temperature control machine since the bricks must be drying and cooling.

First, the clays that are served in a nature are scrapped by the digger. After that, it is filtered by using metal grid and it is suddenly rolled by the roller. Afterward, the granules are added by sand and water before it turns to the next process. This is where the process diverged, the granules can be printed by the mould or it solidified by the wire cutter. After getting the bricks, it still needs to dry it by drying oven during 24 until 48 hours. Moreover, the subsequent stage is heating the bricks in centi-degree that is ranged 200 degrees until 980 degrees. For the most completely warming process, it can be heated approximately in the range of 870 degrees to 1300 degrees. Next, the bricks are cooling in the cooling chamber and then the last stage is packaging and then it is ready to take away by the delivery cars.




Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Water is a valuable resource for human and government has to control the water usage [3]

Hello wiwik, here my suggestion for your essay in the third paragraph, hope you can improve your writing skill by seeing my sentences.

In the second reason, why government must control the water ...

"In the second reason, the government has to control the water usage in the worldwide since there are many factories utilizing its sources for the process of production things. For example, in the US, the highest average of using water is 6,000 liters in a day. The citizens consume much water every day and it can be a danger for lack of water supplies. "
Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / The most noticeable change is the replacement of houses beside the West Park Secondary School [2]

Writing Task 1
The diagrams show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its contraction in 1950.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant


The map illustrates the changes that have occurred at the West Park Secondary School alongside the main road, over six decades period. The most noticeable change is the replacement of houses beside the school to be an expanded area of the car park and science block.

To begin, in 1950, the area of school was consisting of four parts such as for schooling, housing, farming and playing. Moreover, the next 30-years period, it changed by replace the farmland to be a sports field. In the north of it, there were car park and the science area which is built by destroying the housing. Going to the east, the main building of school existed while the playground was behind it.

Turning to 2010, while there has been an expansion of parking area which is surrounded the science block, the sports place has been constrained and it is placed next to the playground area. Finally, the car place is the largest area in 2010.




Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / The international trade make people utilize the all things from other country. [4]

Hi wiwik, I try to give you suggestion in the conclusion.

To sump up, although the commerce global render make ...

"To sum up, although the global market can give a negative effect to the local business such as a closure selling, I utterly argue that it benefits to some extent such as serve some merchandises in high quality. Where possible, it is vital to control the movement of its trade. "
Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Providing the accomodation quickly and cheaply [NEW]

Writing Task 2

Some people think that buildings such as flats and houses should be designed to last a long time. Others believe that it is more important to provide accommodation quickly and cheaply.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


Construct buildings need a well-done plan in order to build a good structure. Many people argue that opinion since the apartments and housing is the place for living and it has to build in a long time period. However, for some people, the vital problem is not about the design since people need the accommodation quickly and the price should be suitable for their cost. I would argue that providing house quickly and cheaply is the best choose for people who do not have the housing.

Apartments and house are the places for living and many people need lots of time to design their accommodation. They always concern on the quality of the accommodation. It is good since the apartment is a large building and it need a long time to think about the foundation in order to maintain the strength of the building.

On the other hand, the requirement of housing is growth quickly in nowadays. This is because it related to the increasing of the citizens. There are therefore several reasons why it is crucial to find housing that is built quickly and cheaply. First, people need a house to live and it is very helpful if the housing is provided in a short time, in part of this because many can save their income to do not spend it by renting the house. Secondly, a low price of accommodation makes people easy to pay for it. There is a great deal of necessity that people should settle up. Then they need to focus on the price of living places which is affordable for many. However, it can be a little bit fear since the lowest price of housing probably can give a bad construction, but it is not really a regular case and it depends on the developer.

To sum up, it is clear to me that although the well-design of flats and housing can give people the best accommodation for a living, sadly it should take lots of time. I utterly agree that people can get more benefits to keep their money by finding a cheaper housing. Where possible, it is important to choose the best developer for owning accommodation.
Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Manufacturing Tea: only 2 top leaves and bud are picked in order to guarantee the good tea's quality [5]

Hai, Liv.. Here I give you alternative sentence for the second paragraph.

At first, the tea picker just takes the tea leaves which ...

"First, the tea are picked by a farmer and it need to address that left 2 top leaves of the tea in order they can bud and guarantee the high quality in the next harvesting period. After that, the tea withered by fan until evaporated 60% of moisture. "
Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Water as a valuable resources in the worldwide [2]

Writing Task 2
As water is a valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use?
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


Most governments have to control the quantity of water which is used by human since it is necessary for all of the inhabitants and other creatures. Lack of water in some part of the world is one of the reasons why the government should be limited the usage of water. I would argue that it is a wise step in which will sustain the water source.

Many people need water to drink, bathe, cultivate crops, wash goods, produces something and others. There is no day without the water however there are sometimes certain people who are using water wastefully. For instance, people who are washing garments with a plenty of water and out pour abundant. This is should not be done since the water can use in some other activities. Thus, it has to be controlled the usage of water in the environment.

Another important that the government should be limited the distribution of water is worried about the other humans who are facing a thirst every day. As a pragmatic instance, in Africa, there is a Foro village, in the Konso district of south-western Euthopia, where the occupants get difficult to find clean water to drink. They have to walk for miles to the mountain so as to bring the water to their houses. It is, therefore, crucial to the government prevent the water supplies to avoid the problem when the drought comes.

In conclusion, I believe that water is very important and it will be wisely if people and the government in same ways to conserve it. Where possible, the government should more concern on the area where lack of water.
Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: The circulation of rainwater in the environment [NEW]

Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows how rainwater is reused.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.


The figure illustrates the circulation of rainwater from the nature to the house. The rainwater is very useful in housing and it can be reused by recycling. Overall, it can be seen that the clean water in housing can be obtained from the running water and the recycled water.

Raining is water that fallen from the sky and pouring out in the nature. The government has been built a dam in order to accumulate the rainwater and then drain it away to the settlement. Before it drains away, it is treated by plants in a large tub so as to get a drinking water. The clean water also can be found in the rainwater tank and from recycling it.

The water that is used in housing can be thrown in the surroundings. First, the household wastewater can be flown to the underground tank of the human waste and it can be excess treated water that is going to the river. Meanwhile, the rainwater that is penetrated across the land can be flown by the gravity also to the waterway. After that, all of the water is accumulate in the river.




Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / The island is changed when the tourism construct some tourist facilities [3]

Hello wiwik, this is alternative sentence for your introduction paragraph:
The map illustrates that changes that have occured in ...

"The map shows the changes of the island tourism facilities to some extent. The most noticeable change is the replacement of a wide-open area by some accommodation for the visitors. "
Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / The changes of buildings construction in the Queen Mary Hospital alongside the main road (1960-2000) [2]

Writing Task 1
The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The map illustrates the change of buildings construction in the Queen Mary Hospital alongside the main road from 1960 to 2000. The most noticeable change is the development of public health care which is improved every two years.

In 1960, there were four areas which were divided into medical treatment buildings, shop, agricultural area, and parking area. In the west of the hospital, there was a shopping center while just south of the hospital was a car park and the farmland is to the left of it. Moreover, two years later, the government improved the area of medical care center for pharmacy, cancer, and nursing school. However, there was two area changed like a knock down of the shops for pharmacy buildings and cancer housing, and then flattening of farmland to build a nursing school.

The most construction in the medical area was shown by an expanded of the cancer center in 2000, however, there was a narrowing area of the nursing school and car park. At the time, the hospital still sustains its location while the area of the car park is just divided into two parts for parking and learning.




Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / The majors are important to support the ability of student when they look a job. Forced subjects. [3]

Hi wiwik, I just give you an example to make your sentences clearer.

It means people who take subjects in university are useful in society ...

"It means taking a medical course in the university is very useful since it makes people easy to get well-paid job and prestige. They can have many probabilities in working, in part of this because profession like a doctor is needed to devote their time grappling in some hospitals. "
Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: The effect of electronic invention such as the computer and the television [NEW]

Writing Task 2:
As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Health is an essential thing that people have to sustain. However in these days, the invention of technology such as the computer and television has been influenced some people, especially in their healthy life. A lack of exercise is a detrimental effect of the innovation. Although the technology is appropriate to ease human activities, I utterly believe that sedentary activity such as watching screen can lead people to suffer obesity.

Technology such as computer and television give many benefits for humans. Firstly, people can know the information quickly by watching television since there are many channels that show about daily news either in the national area or in the worldwide. Secondly, the computer supports the inhabitants in working such as making all kind of duty on it. This is due to the fact that most people tend to type in the computer rather than hand-writing. Finally, screen and the computer may become essential equipment that people always used.

However, as a matter of fact, many people can suffer obesity since they spend a long time watching the screen and utilizing computer while they also eat lots of diets. It can make people sitting whole day and inadvertently, they can suffer obesity since they forget to practice some exercises to make their body fit. Another disease that can occur is sightless since the layer of screen and the computer can radiate the eyes of viewers. Moreover, the eyes will get tired easily and for a harmful case, it will be blindness for human's eyes. As a result, it is better to reduce the amount of time that is expended in using the screen and the computer.

In conclusion, although the latest technology can helpful for human's life in certain activities, I believe that it will get risky for people health such as obesity and blindness. Where possible, health is a vital element of life, so respect it by avoiding using the technology in much time.
Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1: Market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures presented in the table [3]

Hello Dina, your essay is good but I try to make it simplify in the first paragraph.

The telephone was a part important for communicating in the life. [...]

"The table gives the information regarding the proportion of hand phone market share in the worldwide from 2005 to 2006 and is measured in percentage. Overall it can be seen that the most stock share hold by Nokia company while the lowest share is the company of BenQ Mobile. "
Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children are in workplace, two views of this case. [4]

Hi wiwik, I try to paraphrase the second paragraph in order to easily understanding.

Children who work part-time will give valuable experince before ...

"Getting a part-time working can give a valuable experience for youngsters in manage their salaries. As a pragmatic instance, the latest study in the United Kingdom reveals that the youngest who have a paid work are more reliant in controlling their income and they can learn how to concern on their job and school."
Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: A construction in the island to improve the tourists facilities [3]

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The map illustrates the alteration that will appear by constructing tourist facilities in several years later. Overall, it is immediately apparent that there will be a replacement of the natural island with various rustic buildings and road for transportation access.

To begin, several changes will come up in the future such a dock in the south and it will continue to the north with a street for vehicles. The street will pass by around the reception hall and a restaurant. In addition, the main building will be constructed in the south of the dinner place, and it is situated between the cottages.

Turning to the right of the main building, there will be nine simple houses with ten coconut trees and vice versa, six cottages with three palm trees extinction to the left of town. Moreover, a walkway will run through the human's cottages and continue toward the beach and it is going to the swimming location for all visitors.




Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Changes in expenses of an average Australian family between 1991 and 2001, measured in US dollars [2]

Hallo Masfufah, I have read your essay, here I offer some suggestions for you:

1. It is better grouping the information that you will write in the second and the third paragraph in order to make your essay clearer.
For example, you can write the data of the highest and the lowest expenditure in both 1991 and 2001 (the first paragraph). After that, you can elucidate about the remaining budgets such as housing, transport, electricity and water (the second paragraph).

2. Make sure you write "$250" or "250 dollars" in order to not make the reader confuse about the value of data.
Overall, your essay is good, keep writing!!
Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Some people believe that learners should attend a college by their eagerness to a certain subject [NEW]

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


University is a place for students who want to continue their level degree. Popular believe that learner should attend a college by their eagerness to a certain subject while other thinks that it is acceptable for studying some subject which is suitable for a future career. Although the future perspective is important since it can make students easily taking part of the job, I strongly believe that it is splendid learning due to the fondness of personality.

Contrary to popular believe, choosing a collect based on an employment opportunity is helpful for graduates since they can more convenience to get a work. For instance, the medical students are quickly working in the hospital, in part of this because a great number of patients are inevitable need the medical workers. Same as for students who is graduated from a major of information technology, many get a chance to work in the largest company which needs technicians to control an operating system in computers of the office. Thus, many alumni of science and technology cannot get worried about the future occasion.

On the other hand, many people argue that students have to get rid of an anxiety of future and subjectivity of individual is challenged to select a major by following their own desire. This is because the more students interest the study, the more they can struggle on it. They enjoy the learning process and felt excited studying indeed. In addition, there is no a sense of closure that studying in other aspects such as social and art subjects is not effective and qualify to get a better life. Since many famous social workers and artists are able to compete in life. Therefore, people cannot deny that students can learn by their likely.

To sum up, although the science and technology are recommended to achieve the best opportunity in employment, I believe that keen on studying in a particular subject that people like is very essential. Where possible, students should know their enjoyment before picked up the subject in the university.
Anaguna   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / The growth of population in the worldwide over 3-centuries period / number of the urban community [2]

Writing Task 1
The graphs below provide information on global population figures and figures for urban populations in different world regions.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The line chart gives the information regarding the growth of population in the worldwide over 3-centuries period, and the bar chart illustrates the number of the urban community in both developed and developing areas spread the world from 2015 to 2040 and are measured in millions of people. Overall, the world community growth increasing steadily and decrease in the last 5-decades period. It also can be seen that the developed areas have a significant rise while the figure for developing areas remained stable over a 25-years period.

In the first period, the number of people globally stood at 1,000 million which increased gradually to 2,000 million in 1920. Next, there has been a dramatic rise from since 1920 until now. Moreover, it will peak at roughly 8,000 million in 2040. Surprisingly, there is a prediction that the population of people will fall slightly to 6,000 million in 2100.

Throughout the bar chart, there was approximately 2,100 number of societies lived in the developing area, which will increase gradually in the next period and will peak 4,000 million in 2040. However, it will be different with the developed regions since there are a similar figure over a 25-years period. It means that the population in the area that already developed will have same occupants from 2015 to 2014 at nearly 1,200 million.




Anaguna   
Apr 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / Study hard but don't forget to relax, becuase your brain needs rest to function properly at school [4]

Hi Dina,
Here I offer some suggestion in the second paragraph. Hopefully, it will be better to improve your paraphrasing skill.
"A challenge in the future life for having particular skill may become the reason why students getting pressure for study hard. This is due to the fact that they are encouraged for mastering some subject directly in one-time life study. For instance, pupils are given many additional courses in the afternoon to improve their skill in mathematics and other subjects. Inadvertently, they can lose their pastime since they are in school for roughly 10 hours. Students must get rid of their fondness in playing with their peers and many therefore better to study in enjoyment and temporary forget their leisure time. "
Anaguna   
Apr 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: The most popular transportation in Edmonton - cars and Light Rail Transit [4]

Writing Task 1
The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The pie chart shows the proportion of using four different transportations in Edmonton, and the table illustrates the reason why people utilize car in the urban area and is measured in the percentage. Overall it can be seen that most of the citizens utilize car as the main transportation for work and business purposes.

The most popular vehicle in Edmonton is the car, representing more than two fifths. Following this, the figure for Light Rail Transit (LRT) is 35% in the second highest percentage while the other conveyances are similar at 10% in both taxi and bus.

The more people use cars, the most it is helpful for a certain activity. At 55%, working is the primary objective for utilizing automobile. It decreases by 10 % for business. In the third place, there is two fifths of the total that use the cars for taking the toddler to school. Finally, going to shop and pastime activities are in the lowest number that experience a minority level at 15%.




Anaguna   
Apr 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Obesity has been a serious issue in the world and people should be aware about this. [2]

Hello Adrian,
Your essay is good, but I want to give you a suggestion in the idea that you has written in the second paragraph. You said that the solution to tackle obesity problem is by reducing the number of restaurant fast food. In my point of view, it will be difficult since it can come up with a new problem such as a conflict with the fast food companies. They do not want to lose their profit absolutely. So, it is better if people who like eating fast food should practice more exercise so as to make their health better.
Anaguna   
Apr 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Traveling to a new place or a familiar place [5]

Some people like to travel to somewhere new and different when they go on holiday, while others prefer familiar places.
Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages to visiting new places?


Sightseeing is going to another place either familiar place or a new place in order to have a holiday. Many people are more likely to visit new destination while other thinks that they prefer going to the usual place. Travelling in both of places has merits and demerits and I would argue that driving to the novel place may lead people feeling different adventure and exploring breathtaking scenery than going to the familiar place.

To begin with, instead of holidaying in the new place may be having some disadvantages. First, people probably get lost in their road since they go just through distinctive lane. They discover new track and it is difficult when they go at the first time. In additional, generally, most of the visitors can get difficult to find dinner. This is because desiring for diets is a problem when visiting the new place, people do not know the best place for eating mouth-watering menus. So, most of the travelers can get inconvenience in holidaying.

On the other hand, there are several advantages going tourism in the unusual place. The more that people go to the new place, the more adventure the tourism sense. They can be more adventurous since they experience unconventional ways and meet with the new personality. Moreover, the visitors are encouraged traversing new areas because the landscape of each place is dissimilar and it is better to discover all new sightseeing in the uncommon place. Additionally, for certain people who loves photographs, they can be capturing moments of outstanding views in the destination is the best moment.

In conclusion, although driving to the new place gives some disadvantages, I believe that the benefits contribute more interest for people to get on holidaying in the newly destination. Where possible, it is better off making a traveler to usual place since the unusual place is an interesting experience.
Anaguna   
Apr 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: Australian family expenditures in 1991 and 2001 [3]

The table below shows the monthly expenditure of an average Australian family in 1991 and 2001.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The table illustrates the rate of monthly family spending in Australia in years 1991 and 2001 and is measured in dollars. At the first glance, it is evidence that the main concern of budget are for non-essential goods and services and diets while the least expenditure is allocated for outfits and transportation.

In both of years 1991 and 2001, Australian family allocated too much cost in household goods and services at $250 and $270 respectively. It was followed by the second highest number at an average approximately $157.2 in the food purpose. However, at least, $30 and $20 costs were expanded into clothing as the fewest expanding. Following this, the family also gave the second lowest costs for transportation in those two years.

The remaining budgets of the family are for house and resources. 1991 experienced the number of cost at $95 in accommodation while people need $75 for the electricity and water. Over the 10-years period, the costs increased then achieved $120 for resources and $100 for houses.

Finally, the necessity costs of the family increased from 1991 to 2001 in four basic needs such as diets, resources, houses, and non-essential goods and services while others decreased.



  • Monthly expenditures of Australian Family
Anaguna   
Apr 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK II : work-family together and children development [3]

Hi Fardan, Your essay is good and I try to make your introduction easier to understand.

To fulfil household needs is essential for family. As such, ...

"Facing the competitive world makes many parents looking for employee as an essential need. Supporters of this perspective argue that the income of parents will be benefits for youngsters. I strongly argue that it cannot deny that the youngest get a lack of heed by their parents. "
Anaguna   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TEST 2: How people will become happy with money or another factor [4]

Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness.
Do you think that having money is the key factor to happiness, or is there more important factor?


Happy is an expression of a person who feels pleasure for certain things. Many people argue that they can be happy when they have much money while other thinks that money cannot establish someone happiness. I totally agree that people cannot rely on money to be happy.

To begin with, some people need money because it is the vital thing for keeping joyful. Especially for poor people, they are always hard-working in order to grant their essential. Getting much money suddenly change their feelings into more happiness. It is a similar sense that is felt by the prosperous people. They are used to be happy because of having lots of money. Forcing their ability to earn much money, but they lose their happiness with relatives since almost their time are used for working. Moreover, much money guides people to sadness life since ample people make their money for the useless purpose such as drugging. It could make their stumbling into the prison. As a result, the money influences the satisfied of person.

On the other hand, some people believe that money cannot buy happiness since there are several sorts that are arduous to have even by having much money. For instance, a joyful of the family is not measured from how much the money that people had. The time that people spend with family is very crucial and it is not adequate with money. Another example is a happiness of living since it is such a blessing that people obliged to be happy for it. Therefore, time is the vital problem for a certain case to make people happy.

In conclusion, although the money can control the happiness in virtual people, I believe that it do not influence the happiness of people who enjoy the time with family and the time of life.
Anaguna   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / TASK 2 IELTS: The violent crime among youngsters since parents and teachers [3]

The youth age tends to joint in criminalization by [...] more influence the habit in young people.
"The last data shows that the youngest under aged 18 are stuck in a criminal case. Many psychologists argue that it is an effect from the careless of their parents. I strongly believe that it is influenced from their peers since they have more time in school ."

Be careful regarding on some words miss.
Wesite =website
Arrogan behavior = behave arrogantly
Neighbourhood = Neighborhood
Yung people = young people
Comporment = comportment
Selectif = selective
Anaguna   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Learning the culture of other countries by watching or traveling [4]

Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and film about it than by actually visiting it.
How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes about it?


Deeply learning about the foreign country by watching production on TV is meaningful for many people. While this is acceptable to some extent since it more effective and efficient to learn other countries, I utterly believe that directly go to the overseas will acquire real experience and fully understanding regarding the human race of certain nation.

Some people are always on the lookout for the characteristics of the nation by watching a program of documentaries lived on screen. This is because it can easier to know without spending much cost and lots of time. For instance, numerous people watch documentaries on the National Geography Channel in order to know about the feature of countries. In this programme, the viewers can enhance their thought about the human and other creatures as the points of the country. Therefore, grappling with television leads the mankind to get broaden-minded.

However, it is not really practicable because of many reasons. Firstly, people cannot more explanation about the country by visiting since there is a shred of exposition on the documentaries and it is shown only in a few minutes. Additionally, being in a present in the country can make people achieving more experience about the personality of the local people and also their behavior since they will get in conversing directly. Thus, people can explore more though by visiting the country.

To sum up, although watching documentaries are the simple way to know about other countries indeed, I believe that it could be more understandable when people go through in the destination to discuss the country with the native. Where possible, people should be attractive to the occupant so as to expand massive information in overseas.
Anaguna   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Which the better? learning a culture by watching program or visiting directly [2]

For instance, the busy learners who would learn about Indonesian cultures
"For instance, some busy learners who would learn about Indonesian cultures."

For your conclusion:
To sum up, there is no doubt that although [...] visit the place directly to get real observation.
"To sum up, although it is effective to learn regarding the culture of other countries by watching TV shows and movies, I utterly believe that the visitor will enhance a massive real experience by going through the way to directly observe in the destination. "
Anaguna   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Child labor is a common and dangerous phenomenon in some parts of the world. [2]

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience.

Discuss both opinions and give your opinion!


Child labor is a common phenomenon in some parts of the world. Some argued it is hard to accept while others say it is highly recommended. Whilst working in part time gives children work experience like the capability to manage their salaries, I would claim that it cannot be tolerated since this will interrupt their education form.

There are several positive developments of being a worker. Initially, youngsters can learn how to be patient in pressure of the boss and also practice their self-confidence. Additionally, it cannot be denied that the youngest come up with a novel mindset as same as the adult, though. They can manage their income more likely the oldest people done. Again, the children can take a responsibility to behave like a breadwinner in their surroundings since they have salaries which can occupy the necessity of their family. Thus, being the children workers benefits for their emotional and behavior.

On the other hand, getting children into work causes many drawbacks. Firstly, children's participation in the laborer force makes them losing their time for studying. This is because they spend long-term working hours longer than the learning time. In addition, if the youngest get a paid job, it is possible that the childhood time is interrupted and they lose a quality time with their peers. Lastly, the child workers cannot release from a discrimination, and lack of sufficient social protection. So, they tend to be unsociable people.

In conclusion, although the youngsters receive slight profit such as getting the salary, I believe they cannot set their time frame well in both of work and study. Where possible, the youngster must build their awareness in education in their young timeline.
Anaguna   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children in some kinds of paid work - this is one of the controversial issues. IELTS WRITING TASK 2 [3]

According to the psychologist, the children who has limited their imaginations ...
"the children who have limited their imaginations period are being less creative"
Hence, children who has good work experiences and good ...
" the children who have good work experiences and work skills will compete easily.
(Remember children = plural, so it need "have" not "has")
Anaguna   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Money is the key to happiness - it is one of the important necessities in human life [5]

Hi, I try to make your introduction better, here my suggestion:

Happiness is difficult to define because it means ...

"Measure happiness of each person is very arduous since it has different perspective among others. Although people can happy when they have lots of money since it is used to buy the necessity of human, I believe that there is still other things such as family and pastime which can make people happy. "
Anaguna   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: The phenomenon of a global trade in the worldwide [4]

As global trade increases, many goods, including those we are use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distance.

Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?


Many primary needs that produce in many nations are readied in the international trade. As a long distance track, the goods are imported to accomplish the fulfilment of people. Although it could be further bankruptcies among small local business, I strongly believe that it is benefits to some extent since the needs of society which cannot be found in their countries are available in this global market.

The international market can give some negative effects. Firstly, many entrepreneurs in the small business can lose their costumers since almost people switch their fondness in the global market. In addition, the profits of enterprise get off a lot. Less number of selling can reduce the funding of company and it leads to the business closure. As a result, the business makers will end up with the destruction.

However, the effect on the worldwide market has not all been negative. Although it makes the financial loss for the local retailer, it gives a chance for the national business to extend their capacity of public selling in overseas. In addition, the quality of products is growing significantly because the standard of goods is high in globally. Again, people can fulfill their needs which are not served in their countries. Evidence of this can be seen with certain people are not caring about the extensive track of shipping the commodity. There is no doubt that the existence of the international market is very vital for the citizen.

To sum up, although the global market will affect the profits of the business worker, I believed that it gives advantages for society to find their goods which not exist in their country. Therefore, I would suggest that people can get merits in joining the international market.
Anaguna   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / These days, as the rising of international trade, many primary requirements are imported from abroad [3]

Here some corrections for you Labaso:
Although this reduces the income of small local business ,
"of the small local business"
improving international relationship among countries far eclipse the demerits.
"improving the international relationship"
This is due to the fact that most of commodities made from other countries
"This is due to the fact that most of the commodities made from other countries"
As a result of this, these items experience a dramatic drop in national market .
As a result of this, these items experience a dramatic drop in the national market.
(Be careful in using an article)

It is evident that, the International trade has demerits especially to the small locals companies. (Do not need comma after "that")

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