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Posts by aidafitria18
Name: Aida Fitria
Joined: Aug 25, 2016
Last Post: Sep 6, 2016
Threads: 9
Posts: 14  
Likes: 1
From: Indonesia
School: Universitas Padjadjaran

Displayed posts: 23
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aidafitria18   
Sep 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / New hotel, station, and business park has built in the area of Meadowside and Fonton [3]

The map presents the difference of Meadowside and Fonton appearance in three different times during 1962, 1985 and present. The noticeable development is two villages which separate in 1962 now become a unit.

In 1962, two villages were separated and did not become a unit yet. Meadowside area was smaller than Fonton. There was no road which connected the two areas. Then, in 1985 when Meadowside and Fonton were expanding, a new road was built to connect the two areas. Besides that, it can be seen that in Meadowside there are three new buildings were built: leisure complex, housing estate and super-stone.

Currently, it can be seen that Meadowside and Fonton have been expanded and become a unit. The two areas now are connected by a main road. Meadowside has developted become a suburb. There are three new places in new area between Meadowside and Fonton. New hotel, station, and business park has built in this area.

(157 words)



  • Maps
aidafitria18   
Sep 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS practice for task 1 about maps of Meadowside village and Foton [5]

hi Heru, here are my suggestions

-

The maps illustrate changes which happened in

WHICH IS HAPPENED

- I found mispellig word like Foton ---> Fonton

-

In 1962, Meadowside was located opposite Foton. Both of them were remote areas without residents

YOU SHOULD BETTER EXPLAIN ROAD AND RAILWAY IN MEADOWSIDE AND FONTON IN THIS TIME

overall, I like your essay and I hope you'd better improve your vocabularies and language changes to make your essay more fascinating
aidafitria18   
Sep 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / The pie graphs compare the proportion of average budget spent by household for 6 specific categories [13]

I suggest you to use language changes for percentage:

- a very large majority for 75-85%
- a significant proportion for 65%-75%
- a minority for 10%-15%
- a very small number for 5%

overall, you have good language changes but you'd better improve your essay better than before. You should also pay attention subject-verb agreement and mispelling which is still found in your essay.

keep writing and spirit
aidafitria18   
Sep 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / A wind turbine component design and it's position on the an area [3]

The diagrams illustrate a wind turbine component design and where the turbine can be placed to get the optimum electricity. Overall, it can be seen that the turbine has components to generate the electricity and it can be design to be placed in optimum location.

The first diagram shows that the turbine consist some components such as blades which made by fibreglass or wood, wind sensor that function to control the speed and direction, steel tower to shore the turbine up and the generator which could produce 1.5 megawatts. There is also a computer to adjust direction and angle blades info from the sensor. The turbine components work to produce the electricity.

The second diagram presents the info about where the turbine is placed. The placement of optimum turbine locations is important. The placement of turbine was did to get the optimum electricity. Turbine which placed in the sea aimed to keep the landscape not spoiled. Not only in the sea, turbine also placed on the mountain to get the maximum wind strength. The turbine which placed in domestic can produce up to 100 kilowatts.

(185 words)
aidafitria18   
Sep 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Oman and Saudi Arabia spent four-fifths water on agriculture, less on domestic and industrial needs [2]

The bar chart illustrate the water use in Gulf countries in 2000. Overall, it can be seen that Qatar, Oman UEA and Saudi Arabia dominated the use of water in agricultural. While Bahrain and Quwait spent more water in domestic use.

Oman and Saudi Arabia spent four-fifths water in agriculture, but there countries spent a small amount of water in domestic and industrial. Likewise UAE and Qatar spent much water in agriculture. The percentage almost two times from domestic water use, but very small number is seen in industrial. The number of spent domestic water in UAE and Qatar was higher than Oman and Saudi Arabia, while the number of spent industrial water was similarly.

Turning to Bahrain and Kuwait, the most water use was in domestic, which reach over than 40%. Agriculture water use in Bahrain is double than Kuwait. While the use of industrial water in Bahrain is less than Kuwait.

(153 Words)
aidafitria18   
Sep 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / The new trend about having a small family are currently increasing, in contrast to a large one [3]

There is an increasing trend around the world to have a small family rather than a large family.
What are some of the benefits and drawback of having a small family rather than a large family?


Nowadays, trend about having a small family are current increasingly than to have a large one. It gets more attention when government give a suggest to have a small family which has 3-4 members. There are some advantages and disadvantages between those two cases. Small family tend to be easier to organise the family future plan than the large family.

Small family usually has 3-4 members, which consist of a pair of parent of and 1-2 children. Small family usually has a minimalize house just one car. Small family tend to easier in organising the family future plan. The small family is easier to estimate their income and plan. But, a parent who has less children will be more sad when the children do not become what they were planned.

Large family usually found in rural or village. The village people believe that having more children will earn more fortune. They usually have 5-10 members in family. The large family usually hard to plan their future because of the fortune. In addition, one or two members in large family tend to have a less attention from the parents. But, the large family usually have fun time in the house. They can help each other and take care of their parent.

To sum up, in the family it is important to plsn hoe many member will be added to the family. I agree that small family has more advantages than the large family. small family is easier to be organised then the large family.(253 words)
aidafitria18   
Sep 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / My summary task about social Networking [9]

... to share their personal information which created by community. The data shows that three-fourths of the internet users ...
aidafitria18   
Aug 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / At the present time, car become one of the most important goods (instruments) in human life [2]

Many people depend on their cars for everyday domestic, social and working needs. However, unlimited use of cars causes a number of problems.
What are some of these problems?
What can be done to reduce the use of cars?


Nowadays, car become one of important goods in human life. In town or rival places, cars are using in work and social. The unlimited of using cars cause many problems, such as traffic jam and auto accident. Unlimited car using can be reduced by limited the owners of car and using public transportation.

In big cities, traffic jam is a common problem that often happened in many times, specifically in the morning when human are going to start their activities and in the afternoon when everybody is going home from work. The traffic jam will becomes more chaos when many cars trapped in traffic. This problem happened because every human want to drive their own car and not using public transportation. They think that drive own car is more flexible than take any transportation.

In addition, many car user are under the age and have no drive cards. They get the car as parents and make it just like a common goods. It is reported that auto accidents are caused by the young people. They use to use car as a personal transportation to get to school or just hang out with their friends. Young people still has great adrenaline and so brave to take a high risk on the street. They drive the car with crazy speed. They can not control their self and it is the main causing auto accident.

In conclusion, problems caused by unlimited car using actually can be reduced by decrease the number of car user. The government has to make a strict polisy about it. I suggest that every house actually can have one car maximal and the student is forbidden to drive car to school. The school usually provides some school bus or they can take a city transportation to go to school.

(296 words)
aidafitria18   
Aug 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / Environmental issues are caused by human's activities. Task 2 (practice): "improving environment" [3]

Environmental issues are caused by human's activities. As a consequence, every person (i think it is better to change it into "human") in this planet is responsible ...

... industries can make an improvement, but also humankind are the most matter. (in adding information by "not only...but also" you have to make the statement equivalently).
aidafitria18   
Aug 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay Writing Test 3 About Agree and Disagree [3]

Hello. I am trying to make an IELTS writing. I hope you can help me to fix any mistakes I did. Thank you so much :)

"Individuals can do nothing to improve the environtment. Only large companies and business can make a difference.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?"


Large companies and business have an important role in improving the environtment, while individuals have nothing to do. I would tend to disagree the statement mentioning individuals do nothing to improve the environtment, since human can be environtmental agent and improvements can started from small thing.

Human as a part of environmental agent has role as important as companies in environtmental sector. Every individual is contributing to the sustainable environment. The agent should have environtment awareness character. This awareness can by showed by planting a plant. Besides, it could produce more oxygen, providly animal to live, and get food. It even fights global warming caused by industry gases waste.

In addition, a big difference always starts from small thing. To make a big difference of environtment, many ways to do such as reducing of using plastic bag which can be distangeld for a long time. By decreasing a number of plastic human can safe water and land entvirontment. Human as a user and consumer can diversificate plastic bag to paper bag which is more friendly.

To conclude, every individual can be environtment agent and make a big difference of environtment by started from small thing.
aidafitria18   
Aug 30, 2016
Student Talk / Are scholarships for essays offered by all colleges? [6]

no colleges give any scholarship only by the essay. you can searching on the internet or on the college website. they have some rules and regulations. even a non college scholarship will consider by some aspects.
aidafitria18   
Aug 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 Wind Turbine Design and The Optimum Location [3]

hello. i know i'm not better than you. i'm still learning same as you. so i will look for some mistakes and try to fix it. i hope it really helps :)

The diagrams displays(i think it should be without "s" because the diagrams are plural) how the work of a wind ...

The blades isare made from fiberglass or wood.
aidafitria18   
Aug 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary : The World English Mania [3]

Jay Walker on Ted.com: There are some manias in this world. Beatle mania which is built by hysterical, dreaming, crying and pandemonium of teenager. Sport mania which has one idea to get a ball in the net, religius mania that are wiping and vision. "Manias can be good, manias can be a learning, manias can be deadly" said him.

Now, surprisingly the world has a new mania, Learning English Mania. There are about 2 billion people in this world are trying to learn english. China is the most who learn it. Chinese student start to learning english in the third grade. Then China would become the largest english speaker. So why do they learn english?

Opportunity. They believe that by learning english they have the opportunity to get a better life, to get a job, and to be able to make a paper school. Chinese major student take a big test on 3 fulldays. Their future is determined by the score on this test. They have to study for 12 hours in 3 years to prepare. The way they learn about english is almost unimaginable. Walker said, "one thing they should know about english is America isn't pushing it but the world is pulling it. Every country has their common languange to solve their problem, actually."

Source: Ted.com
aidafitria18   
Aug 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / The general welfare of all its people is a necessary condition for the well-being of a society. [3]

Hi, i wanna try to fix some mistakes on your first paragraph by my version. i am really sorry because i can't fix all of it. I hope it will help you.

I tried (i think it should be "am trying" because you are still trying to make your first GRE. ) to write my first GRE writing task, which wasis really hard for me to presentmakesome examples and connecting (it should be "connect" i thought) the contents... :(

Please comment for the very start of improvements of my writing tasks. :)
aidafitria18   
Aug 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / Resume - New National Monument Created in Maine's North Woods [2]

The 87.500 acres of forestland was donated by Elliotsville Plantation to the federal government in Maine's North Woods. Then it designated by Barack Obama as the new national monument on Wednesday, 24th August.

This is the second national monument that has been designated after Acadia national Park. The White House said it would be protect the Penobscot River Branch - Stunning East, the rich biodiversity on the woods, and the outstanding geology.

The land is truly need a status of National Park because it is the home of lynx, bears, trout, and other important species. Obama has suggested to designate other monuments in the country before his term ends in January. Now, some monuments have protected more land and water than before.

Source: nationalgeographic.com
aidafitria18   
Aug 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / Three questions - checking Introductions for IELTS Task 2 [4]

Hi, I'm Aida, and I'll try to fix some mistakes on your post by my version. I hope it will help you.

Introduction : One of issue in globalization is that global trade risesis rising dramatically.
In this essay, Iwill explain about the advantages and disadvantages of the case you should point what the advantage and disadvantage is .
aidafitria18   
Aug 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / Couple questions to answer - global trade, kids at work, unpaid community service [2]

"As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distances.

Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?"


These days, many goods that we use on a daily basis are more needed. The increases global trade make country produce some product that have to be transported to long distances. It makes some countries can produce their best product and compete in global trade. It can be a chance to make an international connection and increase the country income.

"In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience.

Discuss both opinions and give your opinion."


Some countries engage the children to be a paid worker. Many people give opinions about this case. Some of them agree that it can be a work experience while others regard this to be wrong. Children usually decide to work to help the family financial or to get an extra money. But in their ages, children are not supposed to work because they still have to focus on their education, and it's the better for their future.

"Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?"


Unpaid community service like working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children have to be a compulsory part of high school programs because it can be a valuable experience for them. The support for this program is really needed. The school and community have to work together to make the program run well.