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Most significant challange - Short essay, 200-250 words

7 - That "I switched my sprint to a walk" thing was a mistake. I'll correct it. Thanks for the note...

Undergraduateeclipze - Sep 16, 2009eclipze - Sep 16, 2009
A passion for reading, writing, and science - MIT short essay

4 - I see now that I should be including details. How silly of me lol. Thanks! I'll do a rewrite...

Undergraduateeclipze - Sep 16, 2009eclipze - Sep 16, 2009
"Modern High Frequency communication standards" - my Statement of Objectives to MIT

7 - I have to agree that the organization of the essay itself was not very strong. You start the essay...

Graduateuntonov - Sep 16, 2009reader2011 - Sep 23, 2009
Common App - Short Essay (Yoga)

9 - Yoga Workshop; BE PATIENT, EVALUATE YOUR RESULTS As you get better at a particular aspect while running your...

Undergraduateshelby_l - Sep 15, 2009HassieAhumada - Mar 13, 2013
"To succeed, to leave the world a bit better" - FSU admissions essay

3 - Sean is right. You need to start over. Start where you now conclude: By this, I don't...

Undergraduatecatagon - Sep 15, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 15, 2009
"my abilities and talents" - UT Austin statement of purpose.

4 - Use hyphens: well-deserved eighteen-hour days Imagine that, a perfectly healthy kid being encouraged by his seemingly disadvantaged father....

Undergraduatehakimhusein - Sep 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2010
"The future / Community service" - U of I Short essays

6 - These are stronger. You could make them even better if you tried replacing some of the weak verbs you...

Undergraduatedfudali - Sep 15, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 21, 2009
Cbest Essay - Person Most Instrumental in Shaping Your Life

6 - thanks will keep in mind your comments....

Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Sep 15, 2009elainedlcruz - Nov 16, 2009
Cbest Essay - Memories are instruments that will teach us valuable lessons

3 - If you are or will be teaching in public schools, you may want to demonstrate your ability to...

Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Sep 15, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 15, 2009
'in different capacities' - AMCAS Essay

5 - Thanks for the feedback. I will make the correction and repost. This really is a very useful and helpful...

Graduatereader2011 - Sep 15, 2009reader2011 - Sep 17, 2009
This will lead to my success at UCF - need some help

3 - Use narrative anecdotes. Recount stories about your experiences that show what you currently only tell....

Undergraduateespnking191 - Sep 15, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 15, 2009
SUPERHERO STORY - Superhero adventure for the English lesson

6 - in my opinion you just need to imagine what superhero looks like, or you only need to imagine...

Essaysnadz15 - Sep 15, 2009fikri - Mar 2, 2014
TOEFL: Good or bad for more information?

7 - Thanks...I think I should be more critical...do I catch your meaning?...

Writing Feedbackjiaxing - Sep 15, 2009jiaxing - Sep 15, 2009
"joining the armed forces" - FSU entrance essay: Vires, Artes, Mores

3 - Do not start with this. Your reader will have been reading hundreds of essays on "Vires, Artes, Mores."...

Writing Feedbackzoe_marie1 - Sep 15, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 15, 2009
"the diversity of experiences and skills" - Statement of Purpose

4 - Thanks alot for taking the time to read my SoP and pointing at the really important facts that I...

Graduateyghafory - Sep 15, 2009yghafory - Sep 15, 2009
PEOPLE CHANGES THEIR JOB AND PLACE REGULARLY DUE TO CAREER. DISCUSS

6 - I wrote the story above originally in Hindi for some young friends in India. This was a few months...

Undergraduateniraj - Sep 15, 2009Rajiv - Sep 16, 2009
This is another step; Pediatric nurse practitioner admissions

2 - For the most part, this essay is strong. To make it stronger, avoid wordy constructions (e.g., "tend to disagree"...

Graduatels8709 - Sep 14, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 15, 2009
"extenuating circumstances" - Rough Draft..

6 - "College is what I do, cheerleading is what I do, but its not who I am." The question...

UndergraduateRani27 - Sep 14, 2009macca - Sep 18, 2009
Impressed by her enthusiastic manner; Recommendation written by teacher

7 - Ok.. actually this is the second paragraph of the recommendation. Thank u anyway. Well, that is nice, the "student-run...

Lettersmikowoo - Sep 14, 2009mikowoo - Sep 16, 2009
Response paper for Bill of Divorcement

2 - The focus of the essay is supposed to be the smoking, but you do not mention this theme until...

Writing Feedbackpaolaalonzo - Sep 14, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 14, 2009
RISD: Extended Rough Draft; I am an Oyster.

3 - I like the overall theme, but the essay begins to go astray when you go into details about your...

Undergraduateamylilkim - Sep 14, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 14, 2009
Essay on the poetic features in "Selling Out" by Major Jackson

5 - ^Haha no she's just like "Tom. we're going to do an in class essay on this poem that no...

EssaysLlamapoop123 - Sep 14, 2009Llamapoop123 - Sep 15, 2009
I am a Hispanic Resident Alien; Family History topic for UCF

7 - This is such a great improvement from the first essay. Your diction is good and your story is intriguing....

Undergraduatesteph817 - Sep 14, 2009rmoffatt2010 - Sep 29, 2009
'a good mechanic' - The Ohio State University admissions essay (engineering)

5 - Thanks for your input, ill re-write/re-phrase parts and try to make it more interesting for the reader and post...

Undergraduaterzehnder - Sep 14, 2009rzehnder - Sep 19, 2009
'Some may call it a passion' - FSU essay vires

7 - ^It depends on what it is about......

Undergraduatesportytwin77x - Sep 14, 2009Llamapoop123 - Sep 14, 2009
A meal is not only the original resource for daily energy and health but also the spirit feast

14 - thank for your help. i will try it...

Writing FeedbackJin - Sep 14, 2009thinhtvdhtm - Sep 20, 2009
My Job App-- Some Descriptions for my current job and expectations

5 - ^I just want other people's opinion on this. If it is one of the 'largest shipping companies in...

Lettersbaobei841130 - Sep 14, 2009Liebe - Sep 15, 2009
"Being a Beijing Yatou..." [university of michigan (diversity)]

5 - ^I've traveled with my parents... Did you travel to quench your desire for traveling or was it more...

Undergraduatejyxff - Sep 14, 2009Llamapoop123 - Sep 14, 2009
"I thank God for each one of my blessing" - University of Michigan essay

4 - thank you so much for your help. it's nice to get another opinion on such a topic without showing...

Undergraduatenjviking2010 - Sep 14, 2009njviking2010 - Sep 14, 2009
"What I think about growing up"

6 - Try just writing down everything that you remember from your own childhood and growing up, whether it be good...

Essaysricardokaka96 - Sep 14, 2009shelby_l - Sep 15, 2009
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