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Researching and writing effective scholarship essays (page 2)

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Commonwealth Masters Scholarship Pharmacology and Drug Discovery MSc

3 - Thank you so much for taking your time to review my essay....

ScholarshipDambaniDeborah - Oct 2, 2024 / DambaniDeborah - Oct 3, 2024
Experience as an exchange Erasmus student - Chevening essay on Leadership and Influence

2 - Your presentation is dull and not interesting. So you were an EM scholar in the past. So what? There...

Scholarshipabunwer61 - Oct 1, 2024 / Holt - Oct 2, 2024
Development Impact Part 1- Cybersecurity / Commonwealth Scholarship

2 - For the global part of the essay, try to find a more specific cybersecurity threat that you feel will...

Scholarshipjitu_kamaliza - Sep 25, 2024 / Holt - Sep 26, 2024
Ensuring healthy lives of people - Chevening essay on career plan

2 - The main consideration for this essay should be how you will assist the DFID in their healthcare programs related...

Scholarshipseeeed - Sep 24, 2024 / Holt - Sep 25, 2024
Health and Public service - why you have selected your chosen three university courses

2 - The essay is direct to the point and presents the barest reasons for your choice of university. It is...

Scholarshipseeeed - Sep 23, 2024 / Holt - Sep 24, 2024
Qualities of survival - Chevening leaders or influencers in their home country

2 - Influence is a part of leadership qualities, but is not applicable to this prompt. Rather, influence is something that...

Scholarshipseeeed - Sep 23, 2024 / Holt - Sep 24, 2024
TripWithCommunity / Tourism - Chevening leadership and influence

3 - Thank you very much for this feedback and I will improve it....

ScholarshipMiranass58 - Sep 22, 2024 / Miranass58 - Sep 23, 2024
Civil consultant - personal statement GKS-U

2 - The information about your name, what it means, how to pronounce it, who named you, their rank in the...

Scholarshiphaidin - Sep 22, 2024 / Holt - Sep 23, 2024
My GKS-U Personal Statement (Computer Science and Engineering)

2 - I must say that you have a truly unique and interesting background for a GKS applicant. However, this "special"...

Scholarshipkhhnao - Sep 21, 2024 / Holt - Sep 22, 2024
Feminism and Empowerment - scholarship requirement, your own leadership examples

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for your review i appreciate it. Howbeit, i have revised it based on your...

ScholarshipRanme231 - Sep 10, 2024 / Ranme231 - Sep 16, 2024
God's plan for me - Gks undergraduate personal statement for medicine

2 - Remove the reference to medical television shows as inspiration for your desire to become a doctor. Reviewers prefer that...

ScholarshipOctavia_20 - Sep 15, 2024 / Holt - Sep 16, 2024
The world of law - Personal statement for the GKS scholarship

8 - @Holt Why do you guys like merging the essay. The same / revised essay may be commented more than...

ScholarshipVera24 - Jul 26, 2024 / Vera24 - Sep 8, 2024
The Good Physician - PERSONAL STATEMENT GKS

3 - Thank you so much for the corrections and compliment i will make sure to work on those you point...

ScholarshipLilly FLOWER - Sep 5, 2024 / Lilly FLOWER - Sep 7, 2024
Personal Statement for GKS-U 2025 - Business Administration Major

3 - Thank you for your response! The concrete business plans are included in the study plan so I decided it's...

Scholarshippgesbn - Sep 5, 2024 / pgesbn - Sep 6, 2024
BEYOND BORDERS:How the gks-U scholarship will help unlock my full potential in civil engineering

4 - Merged: Laying the foundation for success:My journey to becoming a civil engineer despite the odds Pursuing a...

ScholarshipMaria22 - Aug 26, 2024 / Maria22 - Sep 3, 2024
An opportunity to study in China - Schwarzman scholarship essay

2 - This is a combined personal statement and motivation letter. As such, it should focus on your personal insights and...

ScholarshipJaveria123 - Aug 31, 2024 / Holt - Sep 1, 2024
Chevening Essay on Leadership and Influence - Cybersecurity Background

2 - You have to understand that the leadership qualification you should be presenting is singular but highly notable in terms...

Scholarshipplankton - Aug 29, 2024 / Holt - Aug 30, 2024
Degree in Law in South Korea - Personal statement GKS

2 - You must underscore from the very beginning that you plan to pursue a degree in international law and not...

ScholarshipHenry56 - Aug 21, 2024 / Holt - Aug 22, 2024
To become a good student, what qualities are needed? Propose your specific plan for university

2 - Do not focus the discussion in the university, the course you want to take, or the program you plan...

Scholarshipueyreurysjs - Aug 19, 2024 / Holt - Aug 22, 2024
Finance background and logistic transit - CHEVENING ESSAY ABOUT CARRER GOAL

2 - This is good. Where specifically do you plan to get a job? Why there? How would your training...

ScholarshipMyma - Aug 12, 2024 / Holt - Aug 14, 2024
SOP for scholarship application in plant health in sustainable cropping systems

2 - Your story shared at the beginning of this essay is way too simplistic in approach. It does not even...

ScholarshipNazysazy - Aug 12, 2024 / Holt - Aug 14, 2024
Improving my language skills and culture - language study plan

3 - @omoju precious Your narrative effectively showcases your deep passion for Korean culture and language. To enhance it, consider emphasizing...

Scholarshipomoju precious - Aug 8, 2024 / Vera24 - Aug 13, 2024
To become a good student, what qualities are needed? Propose a specific plan for university

2 - A screenwriter writes for films. A copywriter does scripts for advertising. You might want to change the title...

Scholarshipuyenmynguyenle06 - Aug 12, 2024 / Holt - Aug 12, 2024
Part 2 of study plan After Arriving in Korea

4 - Okay. there is a huge, glaring problem with your application. You are planning to study Korean Law, which will...

ScholarshipVera24 - Aug 4, 2024 / Holt - Aug 11, 2024
GKS-U Personal Statement Psychology / university track

5 - Personally I feel stating your scholarship with the Brazil government is irrelevant, not so irrelevant but the way you...

ScholarshipEduarda - Jun 29, 2024 / omomoh_peace - Aug 10, 2024
GKS-U personal statement (PNU - tourism and convention)

4 - @starssssy Your statement is strong in terms of personal motivation and connection to Korea. However, to make it more...

Scholarshipstarssssy - Aug 3, 2024 / Vera24 - Aug 8, 2024
Gks-U medical major personal statement

4 - @Beacon of hope Focus on making the essay more concise by emphasizing the key moments that shaped your passion...

ScholarshipBeacon of hope - Aug 7, 2024 / Vera24 - Aug 8, 2024
GKS-G KOREAN LANGUAGE MAJOR, PERSONAL STATEMENT

4 - @vivibimil I'd recommend focusing more on your transformative experiences in Korea, detailing how they shaped your academic and personal...

Scholarshipvivibimil - Jul 15, 2024 / Vera24 - Aug 4, 2024
2025 GKS-U Study Plan on how to improve foreign language

3 - @kumaaa Your essay shows a thorough and proactive approach to learning Korean, emphasizing cultural immersion and practical application. Your...

Scholarshipkumaaa - Jul 23, 2024 / Vera24 - Aug 4, 2024
English and Korean Languages - Study plan for the gks

2 - You have very good pre-arrival plans for both English and Hangul language proficiency presented in this essay. The problem,...

ScholarshipVera24 - Aug 3, 2024 / Holt - Aug 4, 2024
GKS-G Personal Statement Major in Tech Management (Switching from game development)

3 - @daBaby Your personal statement clearly outlines your passion for Technology Management and game development. It effectively connects the GKS...

ScholarshipdaBaby - Jul 23, 2024 / Vera24 - Aug 3, 2024
Personal statement. Major: fashion design for embassy track undergraduates gks 2024/25

6 - @legarretacesar Thank you so much...

ScholarshipMaryan3 - Jul 9, 2024 / Maryan3 - Jul 20, 2024
Foundation in Korean language - GKS study plan. Pusan national university

2 - Do not prolong the before arrival plans. You are focusing too much on pre-arrival plans that have yet to...

ScholarshipEzinne - Jul 17, 2024 / Holt - Jul 17, 2024
Personal statement for gks undergraduate medical student 2025 embassy track

2 - The presentation of this essay is bordering on the dramatic, without really offering any information that would help the...

Scholarshiplegendshibawaekh - Jun 28, 2024 / Holt - Jun 29, 2024
SOP for Information science focus on intersection of security and privacy with human-computer.

2 - I find the discussion to be very general in presentation. The purpose is somewhere there. You have kept it...

ScholarshipHallenjay - Jun 23, 2024 / Holt - Jun 24, 2024
Essay on 'why should we consider you?' for a scholarship

2 - The response is a bit murky. The reviewer will not understand how you came to be exposed to this...

Scholarshipmvo_rey - Jun 18, 2024 / Holt - Jun 21, 2024
My Study Plan for Masters in China

3 - You have to write details about your academic background; for example, your achivement in competition, extra curriculum,......

Scholarshiprickwayne - May 22, 2024 / Phuonglynnh - Jun 1, 2024
GKS Essay: A Vision of Educational and Cultural Synergy Major: NURSING

2 - There are several aspects in this essay where you should be discussing more of your experiences. You should add...

Scholarshipomomoh_peace - May 23, 2024 / Holt - May 28, 2024
AAS Statement Purpose - I chose Master of Public Policy and Management

2 - You have misunderstood the premise of this particular statement. You have spent too much time giving the backstory of...

Scholarshipaisen7725 - Apr 29, 2024 / Holt - May 4, 2024
GKS U 24/25 - Applying to PNU Business Administration via University Track

4 - @sjkwr hi, I am not an expert on this, but I am also trying to improve my essays, therefore...

Scholarshipsjkwr - Apr 23, 2024 / ana03 - May 2, 2024
Challenges and barriers that you expect you may face in applyins skills and knowledge.

2 - Do not focus solely on gender discrimination in your response. You have to expand on the answer by considering...

ScholarshipLayson Manga - Apr 22, 2024 / Holt - Apr 28, 2024
An animal person - Why I apply for AAS essay

2 - You are applying for a non-undergraduate related course under AAS. Try to explain how a degree in agriculture will...

ScholarshipLayson Manga - Apr 22, 2024 / Holt - Apr 28, 2024
My proposed course and institution? - Bachelors of Law/BIT (AAS essay)

2 - Limit your response to 200 words maximum. The system will cut off your response at the 200 word count,...

ScholarshipNsimbi - Apr 22, 2024 / Holt - Apr 28, 2024
IT usage - reasons why I am proposing to these institutions (AAS)

4 - You should focus more on why you should attend those universities, what do you offer to the table. Don't...

ScholarshipSam2hayl - Apr 14, 2024 / akmaster101 - Apr 23, 2024
Medical and wellness services - your purpose course and Institution (AAS, Master of Public Health)

2 - There is a specific prompt that asks you to discuss how the courses you have chosen will help you...

ScholarshipYuayu7 - Apr 21, 2024 / Holt - Apr 21, 2024
A traditional South-Asian household - Application for Waterloo Fermat Workshop

3 - Hi, thank you for your help, but I actually got accepted last week :) I appreciate the help...

Scholarshipmal27 - Apr 10, 2024 / mal27 - Apr 20, 2024
a) give up to three practical examples of how you intend to use the knowledge, skills and connection

2 - Your reference got as far as the knowledge and skills discussion in the essay. In fact, you did this...

Scholarshipthangussh - Apr 19, 2024 / Holt - Apr 20, 2024
Coming of Age - Personal Statement for GKS Scholarship

2 - Remove the reference to language study. There is a specific prompt that will allow you to discuss that in...

Scholarshipjayseong_id - Apr 10, 2024 / Holt - Apr 20, 2024
Why did you choose your proposed course and institution? Master of Sustainable Energy (for AAS)

2 - You are too focused on explaining your professional reasons for choosing to study in Australia, which is usually discussed...

Scholarshipbangrevo - Apr 3, 2024 / Holt - Apr 12, 2024
Why did you choose your proposed course and institution? Master of Agribusiness (for AAS)

2 - You have a problematic application here. You are a graduate of a non related course. So your credentials will...

Scholarshipdaris taufiq - Apr 1, 2024 / Holt - Apr 12, 2024
Master of Human Resource Management - AAS

2 - Your first paragraph is not relevant to the prompt provided. You have to revise the essay to focus on...

Scholarshipmoarao - Mar 29, 2024 / Holt - Apr 2, 2024
SOP for AAS scholarship - I chose Master of Public Health

3 - Your essay is too long, remove some paragraphs of your personal details and experiences and focus only on...

Scholarshipdungkyu - Mar 16, 2024 / Catherine Frank - Mar 28, 2024
AAS 2024 - Master of Counter Terrorism and Master of Security and Strategic Studies

3 - I am a police officer, working in the public sector. I did consider the second university and second major....

ScholarshipOliverQueen - Mar 26, 2024 / OliverQueen - Mar 28, 2024
Master in Peace & Conflict Studies - AAS - Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?

2 - The backgrounder that you have chosen to present is a stand alone discussion, which does not relate directly to...

ScholarshipCesa123 - Mar 25, 2024 / Holt - Mar 28, 2024
Stating motivation for Australia Awards Scholarship

2 - This will not work. You are limited to 200 words for the response. So you cannot waste the space...

Scholarshipgheet - Mar 17, 2024 / Holt - Mar 21, 2024
Studying in Flinders - How did you choose your proposed course and institution?

3 - @Catherine Frank Please after writing, you make sure you glance through to correct some spelling errors....

ScholarshipCatherine Frank - Mar 14, 2024 / Aroma - Mar 20, 2024
Give up to three examples of how you intend to use the knowledge, skill and connections - AAS

2 - The terminologies you are using in the essay requires editing. It is incorrect. Unfortunately, editing is not part of...

ScholarshipAroma - Mar 14, 2024 / Holt - Mar 20, 2024
National Service - how you contributed to solving a challenge and to implementing change or reform?

2 - Well, the grammar used is not very good but that is understandable since English is not your first language....

ScholarshipAroma - Mar 8, 2024 / Holt - Mar 10, 2024
GKS - Personal statement /psychology/

2 - I am confused by this application essay. Are you applying for the U or G program? It appears you...

ScholarshipSuunzii - Mar 6, 2024 / Holt - Mar 10, 2024
Why do you select New Zealand?

3 - @carpediem24h Please, identify a challenge which you think New Zealand is in advantage to help solve in Indonesia....

Scholarshipcarpediem24h - Feb 27, 2024 / Aroma - Mar 8, 2024

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