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Researching and writing effective scholarship essays (page 2)

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gks sop - majoring in biological science

2 - The essay is extremely difficult to follow. I can sense your excitement in writing the essay, which caused you...

ScholarshipIanKookoo - Apr 30, 2025 / Holt - Apr 30, 2025
Studies and degrees - How will this scholarship contribute to the organisation's human resource

2 - You are totally off base with your response. The question being asked pertains to your current career attachment. Where...

ScholarshipJason12 - Apr 30, 2025 / Holt - Apr 30, 2025
Master of Entrepreneurship and Innovation - AAS-Why did you choose?

2 - Your response does not show a familiarity with the university, its community, nor the course curriculum. There must be...

Scholarshipnini_Maniva - Apr 17, 2025 / Holt - Apr 17, 2025
Motivation (Agricultural Sciences) - AUSTRALIAN AWARDS 2026 Reintergration plan.

2 - Your essay is over the maximum word count by 4 words. That problem can be easily addressed by simply...

Scholarshipmiss_tee5336 - Mar 17, 2025 / Holt - Mar 17, 2025
Oil and Gas Engineering - Church GYD - Chevening Leadership & Influence

2 - While the reviewer will admire the work that you did with your local church, it does not feel like...

ScholarshipCeceSanandwa_04 - Mar 13, 2025 / Holt - Mar 13, 2025
Erasmus Mundus Joint Master in Imaging Program

2 - When applying for a masters course, it is not important to get into your academic history. What matters more...

Scholarshipali333 - Mar 10, 2025 / Holt - Mar 13, 2025
personal statement or GKS at the Faculty of Translation and Management

2 - The opening section is confusing to read. The statements are not directly related to each other and these are...

ScholarshipaleshonkovaDiana - Mar 5, 2025 / Holt - Mar 5, 2025
Chevening Essay: Professional Relationship-Building Skills

2 - The first paragraph contains names that the reviewer may wish to verify in the future as part of the...

ScholarshipCeceSanandwa_04 - Mar 5, 2025 / Holt - Mar 5, 2025
Personal Statement Essay || GKS-U 2025 (UIC TRACK) Smart Security - Konyang University

2 - Congratulations on being accepted into this rigorous scholarship program for undergraduates. I commend you for the essay that you...

Scholarshiphaneul_hoshi - Mar 3, 2025 / Holt - Mar 3, 2025
GOI-IES Scholar - IRELAND SCHOLARSHIP

2 - When you are asked to discuss how Ireland will contribute to your professional growth, you should address how you...

Scholarshipannhien66677 - Mar 1, 2025 / Holt - Mar 2, 2025
limited access to information - GKS Future plan + Goal of study

3 - @ali333 You could provide more specific details about the graduate program you plan to pursue in Korea and...

Scholarshipali333 - Feb 26, 2025 / annhien66677 - Mar 1, 2025
Economics -Australia Awards Scholarship - Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?

4 - @ngai07 Your answer could be more concise, focusing on the most compelling reasons for yout choices rather than...

Scholarshipngai07 - Feb 19, 2025 / annhien66677 - Mar 1, 2025
GOI-IES scholarships - LINKAGE BETWEEN VIETNAM AND IRELAND

2 - I am not sure how this might work since the neutrality goals are Ireland specific. Perhaps you can...

Scholarshipannhien66677 - Feb 27, 2025 / Holt - Feb 28, 2025
Why did you choose your proposed course and institution? - AAS Public Policy

3 - @Holt Thank you for your kind advice, I would consider your comment to revise my essay. I need further...

ScholarshipYtr879 - Feb 26, 2025 / Ytr879 - Feb 28, 2025
Immersing myself in Irish society - GOI-IES SCHOLARSHIP 2025-2026

2 - This is a totally empty and unnecessary reference. I suggest that you delete this an open strong by...

Scholarshipannhien66677 - Feb 25, 2025 / Holt - Feb 27, 2025
To overcome financial barriers - GLOCAL PROGRAM - ERASMUS MUNDUS SCHOLARSHIP

3 - Thank you for your suggestion. Regarding the rest of the essay, do you think further revisions are necessary?...

Scholarshipangel246 - Feb 19, 2025 / angel246 - Feb 27, 2025
Psychology - Motivation with which you apply for this program-GKS scholarship

2 - As a draft essay, this covers some of the required discussion points. It presents information in relation to a...

ScholarshipVault - Feb 22, 2025 / Holt - Feb 27, 2025
R-GKS PERSONAL STATEMENT UNIVERSITY TRACK - MASTER'S DEGREE IN MARINE ENGINEERING

2 - I feel that the presentation is unnecessarily long. It could be more concise and interesting to the reviewers. You...

Scholarshiplailatulqid - Feb 19, 2025 / Holt - Feb 27, 2025
Education in Biology - to achieve scholarship in DGIST

5 - Your study plan is strong, but it could benefit from improved flow, clarity, and conciseness....

Scholarshipabdurraffidaffa7 - Feb 1, 2025 / Vault - Feb 22, 2025
Master of Public Policy (MPP) - Manaaki scholarship

6 - @Febri0402 Looking at your essay, I agree with other commentors. Rather than describing what you want to learn, you...

ScholarshipFebri0402 - Feb 8, 2025 / ngai07 - Feb 20, 2025
The Value of Hard Work - GKS-G Personal Statement

2 - These information should be shared in the language study plan. While you can discuss the Chinese language here,...

Scholarshipclauana - Feb 17, 2025 / Holt - Feb 17, 2025
Accounting and Management - Lund University Global Scholarship

2 - The Lund Scholarship focuses solely on merit based scholarships. The merit of the scholarship applicant should be based upon...

ScholarshipMercySpeak - Feb 15, 2025 / Holt - Feb 16, 2025
Communication - What skills and knowledge do you hope to gain from your study programme?

4 - @Holt Thank you for the feedback! The character limit for what i can write is 1200 character...

Scholarshiplotuslilly - Feb 14, 2025 / lotuslilly - Feb 15, 2025
Social stereotype - Yale Young Global Scholars

3 - @TracySifaMagambo I don't think this text is suitable for the question you had to answer. Throughout the whole first...

ScholarshipTracySifaMagambo - Feb 13, 2025 / clauana - Feb 15, 2025
Think Tanks and Promotion of Bilateral Collaborations - Future Plan - GKS-G

3 - @Holt I appreciate the insight and will rewrite it....

Scholarshipclauana - Feb 10, 2025 / clauana - Feb 13, 2025
GKS-G - Language Study Plan - My road with korean language

3 - @Holt Thanks for your feedback!...

Scholarshipclauana - Feb 9, 2025 / clauana - Feb 12, 2025
Study Plan for Political Science Master's Degree - GKS-G

2 - How does this tie in with your current research interests? You should try to emphasize a connection between...

Scholarshipclauana - Feb 9, 2025 / Holt - Feb 12, 2025
GkS Graduate Scholarship For Master's Degree In Early Child Education

4 - The essay is too short and not properly written in an organized format. Try to rewrite it, ensuring...

ScholarshipTumi d - Jan 15, 2025 / clauana - Feb 9, 2025
A circus artist and a scout - GKS graduate program personal statement

2 - There are 2 considerations that should help you decide the focus of your discussion. These are: 1. Are...

Scholarshipgabucee - Feb 6, 2025 / Holt - Feb 7, 2025
"it ain't over till it's over" - gks personal statement draft

3 - @Holt Thankyou for your advice.. I'll correct my mistakes sir....

ScholarshipIanKookoo - Feb 3, 2025 / IanKookoo - Feb 4, 2025
LPDP Essay - Personal statement and paragraph about background reasons and skills

2 - When applying for any scholarship, you must provide a strong academic foundation in terms of research skills, academic achievements,...

Scholarshipbonaventura_bb - Feb 3, 2025 / Holt - Feb 4, 2025
Applying scholarship GKS essay in teaching language field

2 - One of the main questions that your essay should address is "Why study a Masters in French in Korea...

Scholarshipnguyenleminh - Feb 3, 2025 / Holt - Feb 4, 2025
Public Admin - Why did you choose your proposed course and institution? AUSTRALIAN AWARDS ESSAY

2 - You need to improve your academic choices discussion. Provide more details beyond the cut and paste information from the...

ScholarshipMaxie0326 - Feb 1, 2025 / Holt - Feb 2, 2025
A desire to Drive Meaningful Impact & Change in Developing nations (Application for QTEM Exchange)

3 - @Holt Okay thankyou for the information. Could you also give me your opinion about the essay otherwise? Is there...

Scholarshiplamiasalim - Jan 18, 2025 / lamiasalim - Jan 19, 2025
GKS-G Civil Engineering major, PERSONAL STATEMENT

3 - @Lilmonsta The essay has too many personalizations and too less qualifications. Why are you applying to the program of...

ScholarshipLilmonsta - Jan 17, 2025 / lamiasalim - Jan 17, 2025
how to overcome stress with NLP method. an essay for stipendium hungaricum

3 - This essay doesn't show your personal motivation and academic achievements as to why you deserve such scholarship to study...

Scholarshipgoingtocollagesn - Jan 12, 2025 / OsatoOsazuwa - Jan 14, 2025
Paraguay - Global Markets and Local Creativities

2 - Your credentials are very strong. The fact that you have work experience with Erasmus Mundus definitely adds a significant...

Scholarshipadrianaman - Jan 10, 2025 / Holt - Jan 12, 2025
Little Oceans - UWC essay

2 - Reviewers actually prefer that the applicants write from a point of view that shows a personal insight. So writing...

ScholarshipHarryweg - Jan 10, 2025 / Holt - Jan 12, 2025
Social, environmental, and economic changes - Motivation Letter for Stipendium Hungaricum

2 - Your passion and motivation should be one that encourages you to think outside of the box. Rather than relying...

Scholarshiprimbi8 - Jan 10, 2025 / Holt - Jan 12, 2025
Avid Evil - UWC application

3 - I couldn't work out the diversity angle but how about this Essay : At summer camp, I was...

ScholarshipObed199 - Jan 9, 2025 / Obed199 - Jan 10, 2025
Strategic business mind - GLOCAL Erasmus Mundus Application - Personal Statement

2 - Kindly name the NGO that you worked with and also, a few of the brands that you assisted with....

Scholarshiptahsinjalal - Jan 4, 2025 / Holt - Jan 5, 2025
Statement of Purpose for the GLOBAL MINDS Erasmus Mundus scholarship in Social and Cultural Psy

3 - Thank you very much for your feedback. You have no idea how much it means to me. I...

ScholarshipPsychwizard - Jan 2, 2025 / Psychwizard - Jan 3, 2025
Focused intention and effort - the UWC values / personal challenge

2 - This is an interesting response to the question provided. However, I believe it is too abstract for the reviewer...

ScholarshipZoeeoz - Dec 29, 2024 / Holt - Dec 29, 2024
Techwomen - how you have demonstrated leadership, specifically in your chosen track.

3 - I was wrong, it is not about leadership . this is correct one : Reflect on the long-term objectives...

ScholarshipChaymakh - Dec 19, 2024 / Chaymakh - Dec 21, 2024
Bachelor of Science in Nursing - Scholarship: educational and career goals/objective

2 - Scholarship organizations tend to prefer high achieving students for their scholar programs. At this point in your essay,...

Scholarshipambr05ia - Dec 19, 2024 / Holt - Dec 21, 2024
Language Study Plan (Study plans to improve Korean/English language ability for gks)

3 - I feel that this essay can be improved in terms of coherence and clarity. Also, I would recommend to...

Scholarshipziza - Dec 13, 2024 / habibraza22 - Dec 20, 2024
A Prolonged Journey for A Genuine Passion (Indonesia Endowment Fund for Education Scholarship)

3 - Thank you very much for your suggestion Holt!...

Scholarshipjakartainrain - Dec 2, 2024 / jakartainrain - Dec 14, 2024
The Ripple of Change - From small changes to big impact - GLOBAL UGRAD essay 1

3 - @Holt thank you for the review!!...

ScholarshipNugraha - Dec 6, 2024 / Nugraha - Dec 9, 2024
My proudest accomplishment - the Cambridge Science Competition

2 - Just indicate that this was a team event and you were the group leader. It sounds more professional...

Scholarshipmtbee7 - Dec 6, 2024 / Holt - Dec 9, 2024
AI in language learning and literature writing - Personal Statement for CLMC Erasmus Program

2 - This should go to the very top of the discussion. This is your personal motivation for studying the...

ScholarshipAshiaBibi - Nov 13, 2024 / Holt - Nov 14, 2024
Chemical Engineering - Academic objective and long range goal essay

2 - Actually, your response is incorrect in the sense that you speak of your long term goals, but not of...

ScholarshipMichaelllll - Nov 6, 2024 / Holt - Nov 6, 2024
Political landscape of Bosnia and Herzegovina - Chevening career plan

3 - You are writing only on UN women. I recomend you to put numerous goals and arrange them to implementation...

ScholarshipLohnpartner - Nov 4, 2024 / a_sm - Nov 5, 2024
CHEVENING: LEADERSHIP THROUGH EMPOWERMENT

2 - Remove all the references to your internship and college experience. Those paragraphs do not contain actual leadership discussions. The...

ScholarshipAsquare27 - Nov 5, 2024 / Holt - Nov 5, 2024
Motivation letter for EMJM Image Processing and Computer Vision AI - Review Request

2 - I do not get the vision that you have for pursuing the course which could have resulted in the...

Scholarshipmepawan7 - Nov 5, 2024 / Holt - Nov 5, 2024
Chevening Networking Essay - Wicked Problems

3 - @Holt Thank you...

Scholarshipryayra - Nov 3, 2024 / ryayra - Nov 4, 2024
Blue Economy (Product Owner) - Career Plan - Chevening Essay

2 - Delete the last paragraph. That is not part of the career plan. Those are areas of study that you...

Scholarshipessaycheck24 - Nov 3, 2024 / Holt - Nov 4, 2024
Get into Professional Networking (Product Owner) - Networking - Chevening Essay

2 - There is no reference to professional relationship building skills here. You are speaking of your student experience, but have...

Scholarshipessaycheck24 - Nov 3, 2024 / Holt - Nov 4, 2024
Inspiring, reliable and ambitious - Chevening leadership

5 - @lily411 I think the essay needs to have a redirect in the tone that would resonate with the admission...

Scholarshiplily411 - Nov 1, 2024 / woodg - Nov 4, 2024
Human Behavior - Stipendiary Hungarian Essay

4 - @molnardebora I agree with the comments. It is crucial to identify the problems and develop solutions....

Scholarshipmolnardebora - Oct 21, 2024 / woodg - Nov 4, 2024
Relationship-building in a professional capacity - Chevening

6 - 1. You need to show your Leadership and Influence skill on the professional level. 2. Use STAR Framework to...

Scholarshipabdulrahmanaahma - Oct 30, 2024 / essaycheck24 - Nov 3, 2024

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