Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Some people are brave to start a personal business rather than being an employee [3]

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

A great decision needs great bravery. Some people are brave to start a personal business rather than being an employee for another business or association. I believe that their decision to begin running the business has a large number of benefits although it also causes some drawbacks.

People who start building the personal company will get the drawbacks related to a financial matter. Owners must be full responsible to their company for first investment or its bankruptcy. To illustrate, the company has a financial problem since customers' demands experience a dramatic fall so that the owner must seek another way to cover operational expenditure such as employees' salary. Such a problem may not be faced if people do not build their business and only work at the other company.

However, I believe that the owner will get more benefits than the drawbacks of building the company. Firstly, the owners can be more prosperous and productive. They can receive more and more profit from the company if the owner always accelerates performance of the company. Also, the owners will be not pressured by a boss so that they will be more enjoyable to work in their life. Interestingly, they will have so much time together with their family since the owners can manage their own time.

In conclusion, I believe that people who choose to build the personal company will gain more benefits than disadvantages. The owners can be more prosperous and productive if they acquire more knowledge about business and learn experiences from other successful entrepreneurs. Government should help the entrepreneurs to boost the companies' performance through providing entrepreneur's training to beginners.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The aspects of Fairmont Island that tourists enjoy the most and the least [2]

A survey of aspects of Fairmont Island that tourists enjoy the most and the least is displayed in the pie charts. Overall, it can be seen that local society in Fairmont Island is the most popular aspect in attracting tourists. Budgets to live there, however, appears to be the factor many tourists are not interested in.

Turning to the advantages category, 40% tourists experience the local society as the greatest advantage. Landscape of the Island, furthermore, it is the second highest benefit, representing at 37% of the travellers. Surprisingly, culture and standard of accommodation in the Fairmont Island are the least attraction for visitors, at 12% and 11% respectively.

On the other hand, the budgets to live in the Island are the significant problem which travellers have to deal with, at 45% of all respondents. After that, 30% of them do not enjoy tourist entertainments in that Island. Weather conditions are also another disadvantage holidaymakers do not like which depicting at 20% while those who dislike the quality of food only show 5%.

• 
  Fairmont Island
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Parts of a wind turbine and its effective positions to place. [2]

Parts of a wind turbine and its effective positions to place are displayed in the two diagrams. Although the wind turbines have the same structure, the position of turbines also determines the effectiveness of the turbine in harnessing electricity.

Firstly, the left diagram describes parts of the wind turbine. There is a steel tower to buttress a generator, a sensor, and blades. To make the electricity, wind turns the blades made by fiberglass or wood. After that, spin of the blades connects to a generator which can produce energy up to 1.5 megawatts. The turbine also has a wind sensor which connects to a computer to adjust the angle and direction of the blades.

Turning to a more detailed analysis from the diagram, the wind turbines' locations determine power to make the electricity. In the right diagram, there are the three wind turbines which have different locations. The turbine is placed in the sea but it is not effective to make the great power. To get maximal wind strengths, the turbine should be located on a hill. In addition, a domestic turbine positioned near a house can produce energy up to 100 kilowatts of the electricity.

• 
  The wind turbines
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Life and a relation of entertainers (such as actors, singers or footballs) [2]

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Life and a relation of entertainers (such as actors, singers or footballs) are reported by the media. There is a perspective that the media should spend more time to report the living of normal people instead. I believe that the perspective can give advantages to people if a reporter describes something which can inspire.

A large number of the media report the life of entertainers because it is attract spectacle for society. Many people want to know information about their idol so that the media use this opportunity to reach a high rating. For example, the media always reports the life of both Lionel Messi and Christian Ronaldo because the information about both football players always is awaited by their fans. Moreover, the fans always want to know difference of the lives of both. The media will explore the life of entertainments to keep stability of the show rating.

However, I believe that the media will give advantages if they report the life of the normal people which can inspire. Many normal people become success because of their attempt so that this condition can inspire other people. To illustrate, a teacher which serve in isolated area is ready to be paid whatever. It can inspire people that no all jobs must be based money. The media which describes it will give spectacle more attractive and educated

To conclude, I believe that the media can give benefits to people if they also report the normal people which can be success although they come from the poor condition. I hope the media does not think about rating only, but it create the educated shows

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The rate of recruiting teachers in Ontario from 2001 to 2007 [NEW]

The rate of recruiting teachers in Ontario from 2001 to 2007 is displayed in the bar chart, and is measured in percentage. Overall, it can be seen that both English and French-language teachers were at almost the same point in the beginning of the period, but both categories experienced a contradiction in the next two years.

In 2001, the percentage of both categories stood at roughly 70% in the recruiting teachers. In the next year, they fell rapidly to approximately 58% (French-language) and around 54% (English-language). Afterwards, the trend of both categories had a contradictive change.

The figure of French-language teachers experienced a dramatic rise of around 78% in 2003. In contrast, English-language teachers still dropped dramatically to 40% in the same year. The following two years, both categories witnessed the same increase by about 4%. Finally, from 2005 to the last period, the percentage of teaching English-language jumped down again to nearly 27%, but another category experienced a fluctuation by reaching a peak at 75%.

• 
  The rate of recruiting teachers in Ontario from 2001 to 2007
  

Writing Feedback / Nowadays, a large number of young people have the way of living which is unhealthy. [4]

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, a large number of young people have the way of living which is unhealthy. There is an opinion that this matter is responsibility of the teacher and the family to solve it. In my perspective, the opinion is precise, but it should be supplemented by responsibility of government so that the case can be solved completely.

Firstly, I would explain that the case about the way of living is unhealthy for the young people these days is responsibility of the teacher and the family. The young adults expand so much time in two surroundings: the family and the school so that these both roles can guide them to control their lifestyle. To illustrate, the parents can arrange diet consumed every day and control sleep time for the children. On one hand, the teacher also has enormous responsibility such as they always remind the young people to keep cleanliness and do not smoke. If both elements can effectively function, the children's lifestyle should not be worried.

In addition, I believe that the government should also take responsibility. The government can strengthen and accelerate steps applied by the school and the parents. For example, there is a program which was designed by the government to socialise the way and the importance to healthy lifestyle for the young people so that they can get plenty of information and reference about it. The healthy lifestyle will be rapidly realised if the government consistently do.

In conclusion, it is clear that the government also hold on enormous responsibility this issue. I believe that the health lifestyle for the young adults will be quickly realised while the three elements do solution steps together and coordination.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The percentage of issues which people have when they stay in a new country [3]

The percentage of issues which people have when they stay in a new country is presented in the bar chart. The population in the chart is categorized into three groups follow as: people aged 18-34 years, 35-54 years, and over 55 years. It is noticeable that the issue of learning the language was the most problematic for people aged over 55 years.

The issue of forming fellowship was the greatest percentage (46 percent) for young people aged 18-34. After that, 36% witnessed the percentage of making friendship for group of 35-to 54-years-old. However, for people aged over 55 years, that issue was only 23%.

Speaking the local language was the most problematic which reached to 44 percent of the oldest age group. Afterwards, this problem did not need full attention which still stood at 29% for the youngest age cluster. The cluster of people aged 35-54 years followed at approximately 35% in the same issue.

On the other hand, only 22 percent of the oldest age cluster has difficulty to finding accommodation. In contrast, finding facilities to live was the highest problem (around 40%) for the youngest age cluster. The cluster of 35-to 54-years-old was almost the same percentage with young people aged 18-34 years.

• 
  The bar chart
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The number of people detained between 1990 and 1991 [2]

The number of people detained between 1990 and 1991 is revealed in the pie charts, and the rate of motive for most recent detain is displayed in the bar chart. Both were categorised by males and females, and were measured in percent. It is noticeable that the percentage of the males detained was more than the females, and public drinking was motive the highest.

A nearer look at the pie charts presents that the level of the males detained was over three times than the females. The difference between the percentage of the males which was detained and not was by 36%. Next, 83% was the imbalance between the level of females was captured and not.

Public drinking was motive the highest, and both of categories were over of 30% in this motive. Drink driving, breach of order, theft, and other reason were motives which the percentage of the males detained was more than the females. After that, other three clusters were motives which the percentages of the females captured was more than the males.

• 
  The number of people detained between 1990 and 1991
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The percentage of income sources and outlays by a USA charity in a year [3]

A ratio of the percentage of income sources and outlays by a USA charity in a year is displayed in pie charts. As it is noticeable, the amount of income sources and outlays was nearly balanced. What stands out from pie charts presents that the proportion of income sources was higher than expenditures in the last accumulation.

A nearer observation at the pie chart highlights that the percentage of contributed food gave proportion of 86% of all income in one year. The proportion of the financial support of community was the second highest which gave contribution of 10.4% of all charity's income. In addition, the other four sectors of income sources added percentage of 3% in the same year.

Turning to the outlays, the percentage of the program services was spending the highest of 95.8% of all outlays. The fundraising followed at the second biggest which spent to 2.6%. Although the percentage of management and general needed few budgets, it also spent to 1.6%.

• 
  The percentage of income sources and outlays
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The presence of senior high school [NEW]

The table describes a presence of senior high school in a country between 2000 and 2009. Overall, it is immediately apparent that the presence of community schools experienced a significant growth while the presence of other three variance schools decreased.

Turning first to community schools, there was a gradual increase between 2000 and 2009. In 2000, the attendance of community school was 12% of total of all school presence. Surprisingly, the community school rose dramatically almost 3 times in 2005 than the presence in 2000. After that, it experienced again a gradual rise of 58% in 2009.

In stark contrast, the percentage of presence in voluntary-controlled schools was 52% and the highest in four variance schools in 2000. Next, in 2005 and 2009, the presence of voluntary-controlled dropped to 38% and 20% respectively. Following that, specialist and grammar school also witnessed a decrease from 2000 to 2009. In the last period (2009), the presence of both was less than 13%.

• 
  The presence of senior high school
  

Writing Feedback / The silkworm has the four phases during change which lasts minimal 57 days before became the moth. [3]

The diagram reveals the life cycle of silkworm before became the moth. The silkworm has the four phases and need for minimal 57 days before became the moth. The larva phase is the longest process in the life cycle of silkworm.

First phase, the silkworm will produce eggs on leaf and leave its eggs. Those eggs will be adhered on the leaf for ten days before the second phase. Next, in the second phase, eggs transform to be silkworm larva. Larva consume mulberry leaf and also live there. That phase the longest process require time for minimal 4 weeks and maximal 6 weeks.

After that process, larva enter the next phase. Larva will construct silk thread wrapped up themselves. Constructing of silk thread occur during 3-8 days. While the procedure is finish, larva move into the cocoon stage. In the fourth stage, larva hibernate for 16 days. Having completed it, the cocoon will be opened smoothly, and the moth out of the cocoon.

• 
  The life cycle of silkworm
  

Writing Feedback / Task 2: Learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films [2]

Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it.
How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it?

Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience.
Some people believe that they get more knowledge about another country by following television shows and films about it than by directly vacationing it. However, there has situations which people cannot sense except those do not visit directly such as unique traditionalism in another country.

Those who support watching television shows and film about another country believe that these activities will get more knowledge about it and do not need plenty of budgets and time. A wide range of television stations displayed program which the audience were guided to surround a country. For example, the television station has visiting programs which its reporter will surround a country and also guide audience to learn about historic places, special food, traditional dance, and etc. In addition, people also get information about another country by films such as people who want to add knowledge about Japan can buy film DVD which illustrate Japanese character and its buildings.

However, I believe that people cannot get all information by watching television shows and films about the country because there has a situation which is not known except those felt directly. To illustrate, person who wants to investigate about Germany cannot know how to Germany's social atmosphere, people character, and unique traditionalism except it visit there because its senses must feel directly. People will get different experience and surprised sensation although they must take out more budgets.

In conclusion, although person can get more knowledge about another country and do not need a great deal of budgets by following television shows and films, there has a situation which people cannot sense except those do not visit directly. If person likes and want to get more information about another country, it should plan to visit there.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The blueprint of Woodwards University from 1995 to 2015 [NEW]

The map describes changes which occurred in the blueprint of Woodwards University from 1995 to 2015. The most drastically change is a uniting of programme sectors to become one department.

The first glance, there was several major changes to education buildings in the campus. Now, programme buildings as: physics, chemistry, and biology building, which are unified into the same department in the north. That departments are science laboratories and a lecturer theatre. In addition to that, a library was constructed with addition space to a internet technology centre (IT centre), in front of the science laboratories.

On the other side, support facilities also altered in the university. One of two car parks was reformed to be shuttle bus terminal opposite the library and IT centre. In addition, an admin building was displaced from southeast to east side. Road which was usually used to enter in the campus by car was divested and exchanged to be footpaths.

• 
  Woodwards University
  

Writing Feedback / Television station always have way to entertain its audience (IELTS Task 2) [2]

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today.
Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Television station always have way to entertain its audience. Based on report, a program of finding aptitude in the television has gotten popularity in a large number of citizens today, but there has been two contradictive opinions which have argued that it is an excellent step to find aptitude people or has just entertained audiences. This writing will argue two opinions which are not harmonious.

Proponents who holds a negative opinion to program of finding talent think that this program is exhibited by a television producer to just entertain citizen because audiences need differently show. For example, a program of talent scout has rating higher than other programs on first year shows, but its rating decline significantly after citizens feel boring. The producer sometimes did not continue the show because it did not give plenty of benefits.

However, I tend to stand at an opinion which declare that the programs of finding aptitude are a brilliant way to give chance people which want to show their talent. Actually, a wide range of people have spectacular talent, but they do not know way and have a considerable amount of budgets to explore their natural ability. To illustrate, a boy who originated of a poor family could become a well-known singer and have a nice job after join on the program of talent scout. Citizens will be inspired by talented people on that program because those think that the success always has ways

All in all, it is clear that the program of talent scout on the television entertain citizen and also become a brilliant method to finding talented people. The show producer should consider penetrations to catch many the talented people and improvise so that it is more attractive.

Writing Feedback / Email and messaging (modern forms of communication) - IELTS TASK 2 [2]

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives.

To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Development of sophisticated technology sometimes causes human activities to be easier. Electronic message and other messaging are advanced figure of communication which diminished the people's measure of time to gather with their friends. I agree if many people argument that this had a detrimental effect on their social relationship, but I also tend to disagree because it had a considerable amount of benefits such as a worker will be faster to report its result of working to company.

The main dire impact of use e-mail and other various messaging has been less people's time to gather with their friends. The fact, those are more enjoyable to send email or other messaging than meet up together in one place if they want to discuss or share. A case in point, a large number of young adult were more impressive to talk over at Facebook group which was one of social messaging application than join in discussion table. Moreover, their conversation sometimes out of subject of discussion because they are tempted by Facebook features. If people just communicate via email and other messaging, their social relationship will be more distant.

However, I believe that the email and other messaging will give plenty of benefits than dire impact. Firstly, it will help performance of worker in a company because the worker will be effortless to coordinate matter to other worker or the company. For example, a worker who having a job at other city can report its result of working soon to the company. On the other hand, email is tool which can be used to catch information at the cyber world because person must have email to register an account. To illustrate, a student want to collect reference about its school task so that the student must has an email to register at online library. As a result, a wide range of people can finish lighter their several activities.

In conclusion, it is a clear that e-mail and other messaging have dire effect to people but it also has benefits. Society must has an awareness to restrict use email to useless activity.