dumi
Sep 17, 2013
Writing Feedback / Short biography for TEDX TALK and Marketing proposal [4]
.... I feel it is better if you break up this line into two rather than making it too compact with too many ideas;
Abdelrahman is an eighteen year old high school student from Egypt. He invented an inexpensive eco-friendly recycling method of construction and demolition wastes.
This was the first time that an Arabian or Egyptian student won an award at this environmental competition.
Abdelrahman is an eighteen years old Egyptian high school student who has invented a new inexpensive and eco-friendly recycling method of construction and demolition wastes.
.... I feel it is better if you break up this line into two rather than making it too compact with too many ideas;
Abdelrahman is an eighteen year old high school student from Egypt. He invented an inexpensive eco-friendly recycling method of construction and demolition wastes.
This was the first time for Arabian or Egyptian student to win at this environmental competition.
This was the first time that an Arabian or Egyptian student won an award at this environmental competition.
