Writing Feedback / Sports can be bridge to peace and understanding between countries and societes [2]

Sporting occasions releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

Topic Popular events like football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Team sports build briges between nations and one community as well. Among those cultural occasions, sporting events emerge to be remarkable highlights all over the world. It cannot be denied that sport plays an important role in a lasting peace. Not only does it cause a decline in international conflicts but it can also help the people in a country have an opportunity to show their patriotism.

Firstly, aggression by one nationality against another can be tolerated through sporting events such as World Cup and Olympics. For example, that both North and South Korean joining in one team at Olympics 2018 should help ease political issues between the two countries. As a result, two divided territories could feel the solidarity and potentially cooperate in other fields in the future. The long-standing relationship among different countries can be strongly developed.

Secondly, national unity gradually grows as the sport matches passed by. For instance, in the final match of AFC U23 Championship, between Vietnam and Uzbekistan, thousands of people gathered on the street and shared the happiness though they were strangers to others. Although the result was not as expected, the Vietnamese fans considered the U23 team as heroes and sincerely encouraged them. Thus, patriotic feeling comes from the effort and fighting spirit of the sport teams and the heart beating to the matches of their fans.

In conclusion, due to its positive effects on nationalism and the harmony of the world, I think popular sporting occasions are supported to be held as much as possible in the years to come. Also, the governments should enhance the security system in order to ensure the safety of players and spectators as well during the sport celebrations.

Writing Feedback / Young people should learn what the world is doing. [4]

Topic:There is an idea that young people should not learn what the world is doing but what they can do to the world. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Uninterested Youth?

Having considerable insight as to how the society function recently promotes the youth's self-development. This essay disagrees that young people put what condition the world is in aside and keep focusing on nothing but their capability. Updating with the world provides better opportunities to understand their inner self as well as puts them at ease to fulfil their potential.

Gaining knowledge about their surrounding helps the young to find real person of who they are. Lacking of orientation towards world's trend, youngsters easily get frustrated and be bitterly disappointed with themselves as for example they could not find jobs. Gradually, they waste their inherent ability and are not able to realise their potentiality. They would get lost in the real world wondering who they are and what they are really doing. Thus bypassing the process of learning about the global issues prevents one from proving himself and his limit.

Young people who grasp the world situation thoroughly could overcome setbacks and enhance the possibility for achievements. Spending time exploring the world means extending "our knowledge of our ignorance" (Karl Popper). For instance, Edison could invent the light bulb for the mankind because he could live in the world without it. He learned the difficulties the society was facing and took advantage of it to create a personal and social accomplishment. Therefore, the movements of every aspect of the world should be regarded as major priorities in education.

In conclusion, this essay supports the idea that the young ought to consider the world's business in order to respect themselves and achieve success. It is recommended that schools encourage students to learn as a subject.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS Writing Task 2] Giving judges the access to past police record of a defendant [5]

Should a jury be given past criminal record?

Topic: Under British and Australian laws a jury in a criminal case has no access to info about the defendant's past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime. Some lawyers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all past facts before the reach their decision about the case. Do you agree or disagree?

Having access to past police record is an effective approach for the judges to make decisions on criminal cases. In my opinion, I agree that the court has a right to consider thoroughly a defendant's previous convictions. This essay will look at how it benefits investigating process and making final judgments.

Firstly, the criminal case will be effectively solved if a jury sees through the offender. Reading the documents in previous cases, a jury could have more considerable insight about an individual's behavior which is under control of his personality and psychological state. According to some researches, juries could successfully convinced the defendants to plead guilty in 68% cases after reviewing the past records. Clearly, prior convictions could be substantial evidence about current crimes.

Secondly, considering all past information helps the judges to reach reasonable conclusion. Based on the changing process of a offender, if he showed repentance and desire to redeem the faults, a jury would accept his plea offer to reduce the penalty and vice versa. Moreover, taking DUI (driving under the influence) case as an example, a judge may enhance a sentence if a defendant has a prior conviction for the same type of offence on his past record. Thus, juries should use criminal records as a tool to administer punishment.

In conclusion, I think the authority ought to change the policy that the juries could approach the problem from another angle by past documents in order to come up with sufficient solutions for the situation. Lawyers would also take advantage of it to support their defence.

Writing Feedback / Employment of youngsters would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole [2]

Teenagers to do unpaid work

Topic Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

Voluntary work creates opportunities for the young to develop social skills as well as work wonders for their neighborhood. Although some consider that it had been better make unpaid work obligatory for adolescents I would argue that young people should be allowed to make their own decision about taking part in social activities.

Firstly, becoming a volunteer might have a negative effect on teenagers' health. In adolescent period, people could easily absorb necessary nutrition in order to stay in shape and boost brain growth. However, the young would have no time for themselves as unpaid work requires them to work full time. For example, they might have to eat junk food but not family meals while working that not provides enough energy and does harm to their body and mind.

Secondly, working without any payments steals the young chances to make money for their own goals. Teenagers can take part-time jobs or enroll in a course preparing for their future career. For instance, Mark Zuckerberg started programming when he was only 11. Thanks to his early training, the Facebook CEO became a millionaire at the age 22. It is clear that society seems to exploit the labor of teenagers if they force the young serve the community for free while they have the ability to run their own business.

In conclusion, I disagree that teenagers lose their time and effort for unpaid labor. The community should encourage the young to build better living environment by participating in social work in place of making it compulsory.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS Writing Task 2] Too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine [2]

Why patients must rely less on doctors

Topic: These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Writing
Healthcare improvements have reduced the risk of so many serious illnesses that people nowadays tend to depend on their services. In fact, the values of keeping in shape is almost forgotten. I agree that doctors and medicine are considered to be the best method throughout the world today.

Firstly, well-qualified doctors and the scientific researches on pharmaceuticals reassure people. It takes at least 5 or 6 years training to become a doctor and also scientists have to do many experiments on the medicine before putting it into uses. For example, the rubella vaccine is widely used around the world after 10-year study. Thanks to its application, 95% of the world population have been saved. It is clear that patients feel secure when they follow the advice of doctors to cure their disease.

Secondly, building a healthy routine requires a lot of time and efforts while taking medicine helps people recover in a short period. Fitness centers have been established every corner of one city and attracted many people. However, they often give up after 1 month joining the sports centers because they get frustrated waiting for changes on their bodies. According to Queen's University's survey, only 10% participants continued the training course after the first month in SO gym. Obviously, people have a tendency to choose the easier path to keep fit which is making appointments with doctors rather than spending time to do exercise regularly.

In conclusion, the majority invest for health by taking medical care and pharmaceutical products instead of following healthy habits these days. I think it would be better if people participate in a health course or a sport club that helps to prevent illnesses because sometimes sickness cannot be cured.

Writing Feedback / [Essay] - Abolish death penalty forever - provide the reasons [2]

Topic.

Do you think the death penalty should be banned forever and why?

Writing.
Death penalty has been excluded from many nations' regulation since it is considered to be inappropriate in the civil society. In my opinion, death penalty should be completely abolished as this inhumane action brings only death to our humankind.

Firstly, there might be wrongful executions which cannot be taken back. This is because the juries might reach wrong conclusion based only on the witness words and not thorough investigation. Then the innocent would get the penalty even he is not a crime. For example, Cameron Willingham was accused of killing his three daughters. The final judgment made by claims of his neighbor was death. Later, thanks to modern technology he was found innocent, but it was too late. Thus, false arrests lead to another tragedies produced by the government and laws.

Secondly, death penalty violates the right to life of individuals. If you decide to take the life of convicted person, your mindset is not different from a murderer. Opposed to executions, crimes should be re-educated to self-reflect their behaviors and then pay back to the community right in prisons. Otherwise, what would we get back when carrying out death penalty? Nothing except for death. Everyone has a right to live to fulfil social duty.

In conclusion, I agree that death penalty should be supplanted by life imprisonment or other punishments. This encourages a more humane attitude towards crimes and allows them to make contributions to society.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS Writing Task 2] To accept or try to improve a bad situation? [2]

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both views.

People have been for years pondering whether it is better to put up with or struggle to find out solutions for problems without reaching any definite conclusion. As far as I am concerned, we should consider the pros and cons of both ways and decide depending on particular situation.

On the one hand, when people face with unsatisfactory situations like losing interests at workplace, they apparently opt for giving up that job. This is often because their working purpose is happiness but not money so they find no need to stay at that company anymore. In reality, sometimes knowing when to stop helps people feel calmer and more prepared for new coming opportunities. Otherwise, they might get even more upset and depressed if a lot of efforts in a second try still fail.

On the other hand, unyielding as modern humans are, finding ways to overcome disappointing conditions is considered to be more effective. Although attempt does not guarantee success, it makes people feel like they have tried their utmost and would not regret rather than doing nothing. They can also learn from mistakes and get experience from this process. People are being forced to think and get out of their comfort zones. For example, Thomas Edison ultimately managed to invent light bulb after more than 1000 times trying. If he had given up just after one or two first attempts, the world we live today would not exist. Moreover, succeeding in difficult tasks after making great efforts gives people sense of accomplishment. That will become a huge motivation for the next chances they come across in the future.

In conclusion, both has its own advantages but I tend to gravitate towards striving to change the situation. Not only does it help people explore their ability but it also enhances problem-solving skills.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS Writing Task 2] Which is the main environmental problem? [2]

Topic: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

biodiversity reduction

A major debate revolves around the issue of environmental degradation witnessed since the 20th century. Since thousands of plants and animals have become extinct, people expect it to be the most pressing problem. However, I would argue that other issues such as global warming cause more adverse effects. This essay will discuss briefly both view sides and put forward my personal perspective.

To begin with, that animals and plants are dying at shocking rate poses a threat to human life. As this devastating trend continues, ecological imbalance is likely to occur. Living organisms and nature together create an ideal environment for our planet. Without flora and fauna which are a vital food source, the ecosystem would be damaged because it is no longer provided with necessary substances to persist life on Earth. Also, human would lack oxygen to survive as well as food and medicine supply for daily activities. Consequently, life on this plant would not even exist.

On the other hand, the impact of various environmental problems including global warming leads to greater degradation. Human activities like deforestation or over-abusing of non-renewable resources lead to changes in climate that result in extreme weather events for instance ice melting, ozone layer depletion, and so on. Moreover, rising the Earth's average temperature is one of the causes of the loss of some specific species. For example, an increase in water temperature is turning coral reefs into deserts. Marine species have to face up to habitat destruction as a result. Hence, the loss of animals and plants is just a small part of the big picture.

In conclusion I think a reduction in biodiversity is a major concern to human but that people become aware of other more important issues like rising temperature might be a solution on a whole. In a long term, more environment preserving approaches should be introduced and implemented with the help from both authorities and citizens.

Writing Feedback / IELTS2 - Government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to save environment [2]

Increase fuel cost to tackle environmental problems

TOPIC: People think that government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems. Give your opinion.

Protecting the ecosystem is the authorities' top priority mission these days. While other people think that raising taxes on petrol is the most effective solution, I would argue that there are other better ways to combat the issue.

To begin with, fuel being increased in cost alone does not bring huge changes in the usage of cars and other fuel-based vehicles. At recent, there are little choice of transport so people have to drive their personal vehicles for daily activities. If the cost goes up, they still do not have alternative transport and keep using petrol-based ones. Moreover, in some countries lacking of developed public transport system and citizens continue to travel by private cars, when the fuel fee rises, they are forced to spend more money on it and reduce budget for other eco-friendly products such as glass containers or cloth bags and using free plastic instead which is another pressing pollution.

In addition, the government should invest more money to upgrade the public transport provision which plays a pivotal role in tackling the problem. As the service on buses and underground trains does not meet the standard quality, people are less willing to try public vehicles. For example, in comparison with Vietnam, Australia has a more efficient transport system that becomes an indispensable part of people life. Thus, the quantity of private cars and motors dramatically decline. The air quality in Australia is much fresher and safer for its netizen thanks to the fact that less vehicles produce less gases and traffic congestion occurring as well.

In conclusion, the idea of raising fuel cost is not suitable for today situation and improving public transport quality is considered to be more effective. The national authorities should allocate more fund in traffic in order to preserve the planet's environment.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS Writing Task 2] Physical or mental strength is important for success in sport? [2]

TOPIC: Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport while others think that mental strength is important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is controversial that whether physical power or mental effort has more importance in sport victory. While I believe that spiritual strength well contributes to an athlete's proficiency, I would also argue that physical fitness plays a pivotal role in sport.

On the one hand, it is no doubt that emotions have certain impact on the performance of one player. Before the game, if he is encouraged by his surroundings, the athlete does obviously enhance his self-esteem as well as self-confidence and is likely to make greater efforts to deserve his love he has received. In contrast, witnessing bad events right before the sport contest, individuals seem to be over-concerned and disappointed. As a result, they cannot keep a calm feeling and be distracted from the match. The situation even gets worse when considering team sport as the lac of productivity of one member becomes a black hole at his role play and may also make others frustrated and easy to lose temper.

On the other hand, there are a host of reasons why success in sport requires physical well-being. Firstly, when participating in any training program or sport game, health check is a must. People are only accepted to take part in sport games if they satisfy all the necessary requirements. Even if one who has mental strength but cannot meet the physical standards such as weight or endurance is eliminated. For example, a basketball player is demanded to be at least 1,65 meters in height in Vietnam. Secondly, sport training is a tough process lasting for a period of time before getting ready for official matches. Without persistence and stable body-building, no one can follow sport career in a long term.

In conclusion, despite the fact that athletes' feelings influence their result, I am of the opinion that success in sport mostly rely on physical fitness. Coaches should allocate more money on physical training in order to guarantee the health of sport players.