Writing Feedback / National Consumer Expenses Proportion in Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey in 2002 [2]

The figure for national consumer expenses in five selected countries, categorized by budgeting priority, is presented in the given table. Data was collected in Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey in 2002. Overall, it can be seen that citizens in all countries spent money the most in primary budgets, followed by secondary and tertiary budgets, respectively.

Primary budgets; food, drinks or tobacco had the highest proportion, with Turkey and Ireland was at the first and the second rank, accounted for 32.14% and 28.91%, while the expenses levels under 20% came from the rest of the countries.

In all countries, less than a tenth of clothing or footwear expenses were seen, and Italian paid for this secondary budget higher than other countries, at 9%. Ireland, Spain and Turkey possessed particularly almost the same proportion. They hovered around 6.5%, a slightly lower than this amount was Sweden proportion.

Finally, leisure or education expenditure, which was incorporated into tertiary budgets, showed a minority in all countries, all at under 4.5%, even in Spain this percentage did not reach 2%.

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Writing Feedback / [IELTS Writing Task 1] A comparison of money spent on three common fast foods in the UK in 1990 [2]

A comparison of money spent on three common fast foods in the UK in 1990, categorised by financial status is presented in the given bar chart and the number of those expenses detailed per five years is measured in the line graph. Overall, it can be seen that each income group showed a different pattern, and people with higher salary tend to buy fast food more than other groups. It also can be noticed that from 1970 to 1990, the popularity of hamburger and fish and chips boosted up, while for pizza experienced a modest decrease.

Hamburger was predominantly a fast food chosen by people in the groups of high and average income, which the highest was for the high-income group, at around 42. Accounting for a slightly lower than this number, middle income reached small above 30, and other types were less than 25. A minority of fast food expenses were noted in low-income group, all under 18.

Looking at the line graph, in 1970, hamburger and fish and chips stood at a fairly similar number at under 100, then gradually increased to 500 for the hamburger and a hair under 300 for fish and chips to finish the last period. Pizza; however, lost popularity during a 20-year period, which declined steadily from 300 in 1970 to 200 in 1985 prior to rising with a minute number to over 200 in the subsequent five years.

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Writing Feedback / Task 1- How to Recycle Your Old Newspaper to a Valuable New Paper [2]

The recycling process of old newspapers into paper is described in the given diagram. Generally, it can be noticed that nine steps should be completed to turn a paper waste into a new white recycled paper.

The process is started with tearing the newspaper up into pieces. Subsequently, the pieces placed in a bowl is poured 250 ml of water and left for an hour in order to soften it like a porridge. The porridge-like paper, then, is stirred by using an electric mixer for 45 seconds. Afterward, the well-mixed paper is spread in a tray with adding 100 ml of liquefied flour to make a paper dough. Prior to covering with mesh in the top of the paper dough, it should be solidified manually by hand. The mesh function is filtering the porridge from excess water and making it compact. Having been compacted, the porridge is molded into paper by rolling pin. Finally, the paper is dried with sufficient heat from the sun for a day.

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Writing Feedback / Task 1- The Develoment in Eastminster from 1999 to 2009 [2]

An illustration of the development in the Eastminster over a decade, from 1999 to 2009, is depicted in the presented maps. Overall, it can be seen that several new buildings were constructed on the southeast side of this town during a 10-year period, while across the river, on the northwest side, several business sectors were also established.

Looking at the southeast side, private houses were reduced tremendously which were altered to be apartment blocks. The hospital and small shops remained unchanged alongside the river. Similarly, railway station still settled on the west of the town. Unfortunately, the school was relocated and replaced by shopping line, and the replacement of public garden into factories and warehouses made this urbanised area.

In the northwest position, Woodland was developed into Adventure Park. It is noticeable houses in this neighbourhood became larger, while the park adjacent to them became less spacious than those in the past ten years. A particular distinction has been noted, it was a hotel featured with golf field standing in place of a mansion with gardens. A new school also has been built next to the hotel.

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Writing Feedback / The three products Consumption in China during 1985 to 2010 - fishes are the most popular [4]

The presented graph gives information about the amount of meat, salt and fish consumed by Chinese from 1985 to 2010. Each kind of food measured in grams per person per week. Overall, it can be seen that a moderate fluctuation occurred in fish consumption and it is noted as the highest figure among others. Subsequently, salt and meat moved a reverse direction in which salt rate was the only figure experiencing a significant decline.

Despite beginning with a particular unstable manner in the first ten years, the level of fish consumption experienced a gradual increase. In a week, a Chinese consumed 600 grams of fish during 1985, the data showed. This level climbed by 100 grams in the following five years prior to coming back to the previous point. Afterward, the rate moved upward to finish the rest of the years reaching up to approximately 850 grams.

Turning to salt and meat consumption percentages, they started with a wide gap, stood at a hair under 500 (salt) and at 100 (meat). Over a 25-year period, the disparity came closer and matched at the point of 200.

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Writing Feedback / Task 2: Many people believe that having a fixed punishment for all crimes is more efficient [NEW]

1. Many people believe that having a fixed punishment for all crimes is more efficient.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a fixed punishment?

Every country has different methods of crime dealings. It is believed by a majority of citizens that fixed punishment is a determined way for all types of violations. Nevertheless, this treatment possesses benefits as well as downsides.

A fixed sentence or punishing criminals with no considerations offers positive points for a country's jurisdiction. The first is that it is easier and not time-consuming in giving a sentence judgment. For instance, a court just quickly refers to the law to decide a penalty. Then, the law of fixed punishment prevents public revenge so that they cannot offend criminal as they will. Another benefit is that this principle of detention could deter criminals. Therefore, people will think twice to commit crimes because they know the consequences from the written law. Thus, fixed punishment as legal system delivers merits in ruling criminals.

On the other hand, there are also some drawbacks of this commandment. It will be unfair for people who commit a crime with different motives and scales. A case of a grandmother stealing three cocoa in Indonesia, for example, was a small violence with forgivable motive. She stole those cocoa in order to buy food for her starvation. It was injustice to punish her as severe as corruptors' punishment. In addition, it is likely possible to cause false judgment because of quick verdict that provided by fixed punishment. The case of U.S federal court issuing false victim Aarthi S. Rao in 2010 embodies this idea perfectly. Because of false judgment the victim nearly lost a half million dollar in that year. As a result of this, although unfortunate, the negative impacts of fixed punishment can be seen.

To conclude, it is clear that even though fixed sentence has positive ramifications, its applications in courtroom may draws unfairness. A serious awareness should be taken by both law makers and society to deal with the negative impacts that may be drawn from this authority.

Writing Feedback / People reckon that the growing number of overweight children is caused by government's regulation [NEW]

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents.

Discuss both sides and give your opinion

In today's world, overweight children become more often to be seen. Unpleasantly, its number grow big and bigger. It is believed by some that this occurrence is government's responsibility, while others argue that parents' fault causes this happen. The following paragraphs will analyse the two points of view.

Some people reckon that the number of overweight children increase is caused by government regulation. An idea that supports this is the government of big city, like Jakarta, for instance, does not limit the fast food marketing and promotion. Now, every corner of district is built fast food restaurants, like Mc. Donald and KFC, the promotion of this food is gone viral because there is no rule for banning these activities. Consequently, children in those areas consume more fast food and gain more weight. Thus, it is apparent that no rule for limiting the way fast food restaurant doing their business results in rising obesity in children.

On the other hand, many people claim that parents less provide awareness of their children diets leads to children obesity, so that parents are the key role for the responsibility of this problem. Because of this, young ages receive poor diets instead of nutritious meals. An example of this is that children choose to eat processed food and fast food, such as burger and pizza by delivery. This preference affects children weight. Therefore, lack of parents' attention contributes to children obesity.

To sum up, for reasons related to children becoming obese, some blame it is government' accountability. However, after analysing these two points of view, it is clear that parent as the most paramount causes of increasing obesity in children since they hold the role to help their children to opt proper daily meals.

Writing Feedback / Schools should cut art and music so that children can focus on information and technology [NEW]

3. The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information and technology.

To what extent do you agree?

Education is indispensible thing that become a compulsory for children in this modern era. In this learning process system, young ages are provided by various subjects to prepare them for their future career. However, for several particular courses, like art and music should be dismissed from school curriculum so that their orientation can be targeted only for subjects which are considered more important such as information and technology. It is disagreed that this purpose should be undertaken. This will be argued by an analysing how music and art can be important for students as well as offer them a great amusement.

Art and music are essential for children development so that school should keep these programs existed in schools. A reason of this is art and music train students to be creative and innovative. As an example Steve Job, the founder of Apple Inc., learned about design and music as well as technology during his school years. He could produce super innovative and artistic technology, and without art and design, Apple is not as beautiful as it is now. Thus, it can be seen that these kinds of lectures are fundamental for young generations.

In addition to this, art and music afford pleasure for student and it is vital for their learning process. They could get rid of student's stress and induce positive emotion due to they are not as hard as math or other stressful subjects. A study from University of Michigan shows that music and art reduce stress on children. Consequently, students will acquire healthy emotion and it contributes to better learning. Therefore, enjoyment is able to be embraced by students through music and art and it is beneficial for them.

In conclusion, after observing the benefits of art and music for students above, it is clear that they are crucial for student in the virtue of improvement and joy. Ultimately, schools should not erase these valuable subjects from their methodology.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Fewer and fewer people are walking these days [2]

4. Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days.
What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

The way people travel to different places, today, has been shifted from that in the past. In spite of offering health advantages, walking has less intensity to be chosen by people now. Several indicators which affect this trend will be analysed through this essay. In addition, particular measurements will also be explained.

The first point is that individuals need convenient and confortable way to commute to their destinations. For instance, they prefer to drive their private cars. Although, today, public transports are well-established, people still use their private vehicles to go to bus or train stations. The second is, there is a lack of local government awareness of the save sidewalk facilities. Now, pavements for pedestrian in big cities, like Jakarta, have been changed to be a shop line. Moreover, in many places where people go frequently, such as offices, universities, and shopping centres, escalators have been built replacing the stairs. Thus, these factors make clear that people nowadays tend to walk less.

The solutions concerning this issue should be undertaken. Firstly, local authority should establish a rule to raise the parking price. An example of this is can be showed from the success of Mumbai law makers in India to reduce its car numbers due to expensive parking price implementation. With this, people have a tendency to abandon their cars and go on foot. Secondly, regarding sidewalks problem, the government should offer strict punishment to get rid of shoppers or retailers who do their business in sidewalks. For instance, violators should be subject to the threat of imprisonment of at least one year and a maximum of or a fine of 20,000,000 IDR or equivalent to $2,000.

In conclusion, several points causing a decrease in walking are explained. However, there are possible breakthroughs to overcome this matter.

Writing Feedback / Nowadays, folk tend to shop more intense even for items which they do not really need [3]

Many people buy products that they do not really need and replace old products with new ones unnecessarily.
Why do people buy things they do not really need? Do you think this is a good thing?

Globalisation and advancement of science as well as technology reshape people behaviour, including the way they purchase something. Nowadays, folk have a tendency to shop more intense even for items which they do not require. Several indicators and the impacts of this trend will be analysed.

Regarding consumerism, there are several reasons causing this trend. The first is provocative advertisements. For instance, slogans such as "I am loving it" or "Have a break, have a `Kit-Kat" which is showed repetitively in commercial breaks will encourage buyers to buy the products and they cannot resist the temptation of buying those goods. The second is influences from trendsetter or famous celebrities. People tend to follow them because they care about social status. An example of this is teenagers want to be popular. They buy the latest shoe model used by a popular celebrity. Whenever he changes his style, his fans will follow him. Those create negative trend and serious consequences may be faced by its follower.

I reckon that this is an inappropriate way of life and affects both physical and mental effects. The first impact is that it causes obesity. Because of appealing food ads, people will eat more burger, pizza and chocolate even though they do not hungry. Consumerism also leads to a psychological disorder, such as depression. London-Based psychotherapist Graham Music's research stated that people who care more about status symbols, being famous or having expensive objects, own higher possibility in experiencing mental-health problems. They are more likely to become unhappy and depress. Thus, it is clear that consumerism is harmful behaviour that is able to induce people suffering overweight and some mental illnesses.

To sum up, interesting product promotion and popular people ascendancy are two factors which results in consumerism. This sort of action is unsuitable in society since it gives dire effects on human health, such as obesity and mental disorder.

Writing Feedback / Almost a half of the Fairmont Island disbenefits come from high cost living [2]

An illustration of the majority of benefits and drawbacks of Fairmont Island, in regards with visitors' examining, is presented in the two pie charts. Overall, it can be noticed that almost a half of disbenefits come from high cost living, while basically, the land-dwellers contributes to the advantages the most.

Looking at the demerits of the Fairmont island, expensive living expenses account for 45%, followed by the amusement that the island gives, reaches to less than a third. The weather is below this number by 10%, and a quarter of the weather's percentage is offered by the food quality's proportion. It is only 5%.

Concerning to the factors which impact on the beneficial outputs in the island, two-fifths of the survey measured, choose the local people as the contributor of the advantages. A slight number below that factor, the scenery appears at 37% considered as one of the benefits. The ease of communication means and unique culture present a minute differences in a minority numbers, at 11% and 12%, respectively.

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Writing Feedback / The percentage of people attending several public areas in Australia [2]

An illustration of the percentage of people attending several public areas in Australia is presented in the given bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that citizen who born in Australia and new migrants born in english-speaking coutries, with the exception of library, dominates the number of new migrants born in other countries visiting the places.

The popularity of cinema is the highest among native Australian and english-speaker new migrants, accounted for 70% and visrtually 65%, respectively. While for zoo, library and theather, the level of new migrants born in english-speaking countries always outnumber the Australian's rates. Interestingly, the disparity can be seen clearly in the zoo's visitor rates, in which new migrants from english-speaking countries attend this community place more frequent than other types of residents, the proportion is up to a half of people living in Australia.

Surprisingly though, library is predominantly attended by land-dwellers born outside english-speaking countries, it reachs in the vacinity of 55%. On the other hand, theather is the least attractive since the figures of people visiting this place shows the lowest level. They are less than a third and the number of new migrants non-english countries is at the base among the other sorts of citizens, only one in ten.

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Writing Feedback / Education and health service cost should be paid by people in prosperity for a country' extra income [3]

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. to what extent do your agree or disagree?

Certain country has different priority when it comes to their development to choose for. However, mostly, education and health are the first and the second sector which is concerned by the government. It is recommended that governement spends its money on all education and healthcare and makes them free for all citizen. Regarding this notion, I strongly convince that government should invest on education and health but only for supports and not entirely free for all, include wealthy people.

The government should allocate its expenses for education and healthcare only limited on their features, such as infrastructures and services. If the money put on this education development, the quality of its population will increase. The life expectancy will rise at the point as expected if the healthcare services are well-established. Take an example from Finland's policy makers, they arranged the vast majority of the capital income for education and health infrastructure, system improvement, and the human resources. As a result, their education quality is number one in the world. The mortality rates of this country also decreased dramatically by 50% of the prior figure in 2015. Therefore, the government budgeting should be spent in education and health importantly on particular parts.

Rich people should not be liberated from the charge of tuition and health fees. The reason of this is that costing education and health for high-income people will add the countriy's GDP. In addition, this income can be allocated in other sectors or spent on the establishment of education and health services in the areas of less developed. Thus, it is apparent that prosperous citizen should be excluded from government's budgeting in education and healthcare.

To sum up, two concerning areas, education and health should acquire enough money from the government only in their supporting elements. Education and health service cost should be paid by people in prosperity since it will provide extra income for the country.

Writing Feedback / In this modern era, there are enormous number of people who have extreme weight. [3]

Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?
Both physical and mental health is essential for human life. However, in this modern era, there are enormous number of people who have extreme weight. This disease is considered as the iconic problem in the international level. Concerning this damaging issue, the following paragraphs will examine the factors, results as well as the possible solution to remedy this situation.

Regarding the reasons that lead this problem emerge is that the sedentary lifestyle which is possessed by th majority of people, nowadays. The reason of this phenomenon is that the availability of easy life. For instance, the study conducted by University of Michigan stated that technology which make life easier contributes to the lack of physical activity. As a result people have little exercise and less burn their fat. Therefore, this iddleness causes the obesity among people.

Becoming obese results in several ilnesses. The common disease that caused by obesity is heart attack. The dense of fat in the body of obese people will hinder the blood circulation through the blood vessel, study from Stanford Univerisity stated. Consequently, the heart pumps the blood heavily and offers the bigger chance to increase risk of heart attack.

There is a way to crack the code of this unpleasant condition. It is the community awareness that can adopt the transformation of unhealty lifestyle. This can be done by the community engagement, such as providing some events to encourage people to do more physical activity, building community trend toward healthy eating and educating obese people with trips and tricks to reduce their calory intake as well as cutting the amount of their fat.

In conclusion, obesity which is caused by people's unhealty lifestyle can give implication on a deathly disease. However, if an action of cummunity activities related to this problem is performed, it seems likely that the ramification of this issue will be met.

Writing Feedback / Today, inevitably the number of people committing crime is rising. What could be done to stop it? [3]

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity.

Today, inevitably the number of people committing crime is rising. Violence has diverse types and each of them has different actions to deal with. However, looking at the big picture there are main driving forces behind some crimes. The factors lead to violence as well as the possible solutions to remedy this detrimental issue will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

Offences could be caused by several precursors. Concerning the root of crimes there are three indicators which leads to criminal growth. The first and foremost is some people in the parts of the community have low education. A survey of prisoners in state prisons in the late 1990 showed that the vast majority of the inmates never experience higher education even nearly 80% of them did not graduate from junior high schools. Due to their poor educational backgrounds, they worked mostly in low-income jobs and much times of their life are occupied with unemployment. This incapability resulted in poverty. Many violators commit crime in order to meet their basic needs to survive life. Since they lack of money, without thinking twice about the ramifications of their damaging actions, they are highly likely to break the rule.

In regard with the prevention of this problem, some measurements should be undertaken. The government hold the biggest role towards this establishment. Most importantly, government have to provide low-cost education by making it free for the poor people and subsidizing it for the low-income and middle-income its citizens. Education instils people with knowledge of wisdom and social environment caring so that they are generally well-adjusted in relating to others and are far less likely to commit crimes. Moreover, better education offers them with better jobs which can hand them sufficient money to fulfil their daily necessities. Regarding this, government should open more employment in order to absorb the human resources. As a result, they poor people will be declined as well as the phenomena of people committing the crime due to poverty.

To sum up, if the crime is seen in the favour of its genesis, inadequate education, unemployment as well as poverty seems to be the main reason of the problems. What needs to be focusing on is the actions from government that should be performed, include providing education and more job opportunities.

Writing Feedback / People in the world need natural resources to supply their energy. Not everyone is able to use it. [2]

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, wave and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

People in the world need natural resources to supply their energy. It has been decades that humankind still have dependence on fossil fuel to make electricity, drive machines and provide heating. Due to the fact that today this carbon-based fuel is in the edge of scarcity and contributes more to climate change, global citizen and government are becoming far more aware of renewable energy. However, most people in some parts of the world still believe that several environmentally friendly energy sources, such as wind and wave power as well as solar energy are costly and sophisticated to be applied to subtitue the current power. In the term of this notion, I personally do not support it since in some countries, these sorts of power have been implemented cheaply and successfully.

Previously, setting up alternative energy is unaffordable and too complex to be established. The reason of this is that the equipment and other supporting elements only supllied by limited companies so that they monopolise the market and sell it with high price. In addition, an article in The Economist magazine stated that compared with traditional power stations renewable generators are cheap to run but require big amount of money to construct, which makes them quiet difficult when it comes to the capital cost. The article also informed that the component, include electricity grid, imposes huge budget as to deliver the eletricity from the power stations to the city have wide and long journey.

However, today the certain condition concerning alternative energy resources application is in the opposite position. One of energy concervative organisations, Green Peace has been conducted some research and surveys about this type of power generators. It stated in its published article that in recent years the cost of solar and wind energy have experienced a decrease. The cost of this power supply competitive with coal, gas and nuclear in the US. In comaparison with coal, wind energy in India can compate it the same price and create same amount of energy, and also the solar power in there will reach parity in 2016. Turning at the reliability and the easiness of a non-coal energy source, it can be said that the difficulties become obsolete. An illustration to support this is that in particular country it works well. Portugal generated more than 70% of its electricity from renewable energy sources during the first quarter of 2013. Thus, for certain state, it is evident that the idea of giant expense for alternative energy and its complexity is just a myth.

To conclude, the cost of renewable energy sources compared to coal, oil and gas is contending. It is apparent that the implementation of this energy is well-established in mentioned country. It prove that alternative energy resources is ready to go and reliable.