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Posts by La Baso
Name: Baso Muammar
Joined: Mar 31, 2016
Last Post: Apr 11, 2016
Threads: 15
Posts: 21  
From: Indonesia
School: Sengkang High School

Displayed posts: 36
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La Baso   
Mar 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / What is more important. Spending money in building skyscraper or funding some public services? [2]

In this day and age, although many citizens argue that the importance of the city is having many tall modern buildings, I strongly believe that a significant amount of budget should be more spent on improving public services such as hospitals and schools.

With regard to the amazing edifices, some inhabitants believe it is acceptable for one main reason. They think that a city which has impressive buildings is a representation of its advantageous. A good example for this is Dubai. Since built the greatest skyscraper, the place has been well-known to the worldwide as the greatest advancing area. Hence, it is normal if the city spent much money in creating tall building to show its progressive.

However, I do not believe this notion stands up to scrutiny. This is due to the fact that public services such as hospitals and schools determine the quality of life and advance. Taking Jakarta as an example, since the government has been cutting back on public spending, it has negative consequent that reduces the number of hospital services and teachers. This can result a dramatic drop in the health of the city along with educational standard. It is thus clear that ensuring a large proportion of funds which is spent on public services is extremely vital.

To sum up, it is evident that there is no doubt if the city spends much money in building skyscraper to prove its the way of life, however; I believe that increasing the quality of public services is more crusial. Hence, people should maintain their hospitals and schools growing.
La Baso   
Mar 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / Sales of banana and coffee in five diverse countries [2]

dear writer, I am really happy for reading your essay. it is completely clear. but allow me to give little opinion.

In the last paragraph, better if you put "a" in the sentence as follows
and there was a dramatic increase in this product sales from ...

Thank you.
Regards,

La Baso
La Baso   
Mar 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / Both - living in the same or different place in the lifetime have own positive and negative sides. [5]

hello good people, please help me to correct this one. feel free :)

In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime.

What are the advantage and disadvantage of both?


Over recent years, the general population lived in the same area while many people nowadays often move and life in the different locations. This essay will discuss both which have own merits and demerits .

Regarding to live in the one location, people had some benefits which made them better in quality of life. Firstly, they felt secure as much as possible. This is due to the fact that they had been staying very long time in the area. Automatically, they knew exactly all scopes of the condition such as social, culture, politic, economic and so on. In addition, due to life in the same social, all inhabitants had good community power. Thus, the citizens liaised and trusted together easily.

However, living in the same social made the natives feel introvert to the strangers. They did not trust something new from other communities that might result slowly social changes in the better place. Also, as human being, people felt bored live in the same situations all the time.

Moving on people today that stay in many different locations have some advantage in their lifetime. First of all, they get many experiences in social life. Thus, urban people have social changes that may be make more open minded. Not only this, the societies do not feel bored due to face something new in other communities.

In contrast, changing life place very often makes the inhabitants complicated in adaptation because has different culture and situation and may difficult adaptation to a hotter or colder climate than he is used to. Hence, there is no doubt that these disadvantage cannot be avoided.

All in all, both living in the same or different place in the lifetime have own positive and negative sides. As a result, people must consider what types of the way life they want.
La Baso   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Happiness is a part of human beings, meaning to feel that something is better. A job for example. [2]

Hello nice people. I am an international students who really loves English a lot. Feel free to give correction. Thank you!

Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that others factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job really enjoy?

Happy is part of human beings, meaning to feel something that is better. In this case, many people argue that the best way of being happy is having job that we favour doing. However, I do not believe the notion which is the only reason of being happy. There are other crucial ways of feeling happy such as family time and take even a rest.

With regards to have job that people like, some societies think that it is the key of happiness where they are in double advantageous position. Proponents of this view argue that besides earning money, the workers feel comfortable due to fulfilling their hobbies. Taking the painter as an example, he earns his own money by selling works of his hobby painting. Thus, doing something that people like while earning money is the best way of happiness.

On the other hand, however, I believe many factors that are more rival of being happy than the notion. First of all, although doing a job that people love get double benefits, sometimes it makes the worker in the dead line. As the result, they get stress to finish it on time. However, they need to take a rest to feel much better in that condition. Not only this, no matter how love people doing jobs, they need to take a pension where is better way in the old age. In addition, as long as workers have a problem in the family time, they cannot enjoy what they are working for. Giving support and looking after each other make someone feel better to begin a job although it is quite difficult job. Hence, no matter how people love or hate the job itself, as long as have a good relationship with others and an enough rest time, they can be still happy.

To sum up, there is no doubt that without getting attention from family and maintaining the rest time, the workers could not be happy to finish their jobs. Thus, these ways are more necessary of happiness.
La Baso   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Early education boosts creativity, although it can bring detrimental effect on mentality development [4]

dear writer.

As it is commonly understood, S some communities in some territorial suggest their child to start formal ...

I personally agree with statement above because youngest students who have young age will be difficult to run the system.

This is because due to the fact that they have strong memory to ... I think it is better to put those words :)

young generation who have proper age to school such ==== I have read in Cambridge dictionary that the word "generation" is countable if you are going to singular better if "young generation who has proper age to school such.... or young generations who have ./.......

keep writing. overall, it is totally good :)
La Baso   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Beginning formal school in early childhood is not a wise decision [3]

children is are often suggested........ or "a child is often ....." often ....."

it influences the student's personality.

It is becausedue to the fact that the society believe.....(better way to use those words :) )

overall, your writing is completely amazing. to make it more perfect, you should notice spelling errors itself and the rules of singular and plural. keep writing. :)
La Baso   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / During the last three decades, one of the most crucial inventions changing societies' is internet [2]

do you believe that there is no time to give up? well, I am right here to allow you that correct my again writing. Please feel free :)

The Internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different.
To what extent do you agree or disagree!


During the last three decades, one of the most crucial inventions changing societies' lives is the internet. As an essential part of 12th century living, It makes people more efficient and effective in communication and information. In this notion, I agree that without internet, the citizens' lives would be totally different for the following reasons.

First of all, the internet has made time more efficient in communicating such as email and many social networking sites which are sending information quickly without leaving the house or other places. Hence, without the internet, people could experience a complicated time and tend to be lost in communicating each other. They may need more time to go to poss office for sending some letters or be tired of waiting the letters due to taking many time to be arrived.

Another reason is that the internet has contributed inhabitants' lives more effective. Since it has been presented to our lives, the internet helps the citizens especially the students to find necessary information easily. Therefore, people today cannot imagine if it is not used to. Without it, people looking for some information need to take a bit longer space to go from one library to others. It also causes the lack of spreading vital information which makes some societies be left behind.

To sum up, it is evident that the internet has created to make people's lives more convenient. However, without the internet, the societies would face many difficult things especially in communication and information. For this reason, the internet should be preserved to make human's live more advanced.
La Baso   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / The internet has become a need people, do you agree? [7]

Dear writer
The internet are is usefulluseful for people's life.

the internet makes people change

internet does not give
(Dear writer, allow me to give little opinion, i have read Cambridge dictionary that "the internet" is actually singular)

overall, you explained in the good way. if you want to make it more amazing, you should notice the rules of singular and plural itself. :)

keep writing :)
La Baso   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Many people buy products that they do not really need [3]

Dear writer.
his happens because of several
occurs because of some
This is because people will
as precaution because it may be unpredictable
mobile phone because they think that
========= you often used the word becaus in you writing. better if you find the similarities of it such due to.
make it varieties. It could be

This happens because ofdue to several possible reasons
This is becausedue to the fact that people will never satisfy with all.
keep writing :)
La Baso   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / These days, as the rising of international trade, many primary requirements are imported from abroad [3]

These days, as the rising of international trade, many primary requirements are imported from other countries. Although this reduces the income of small local business, its benefits such as the availability of inhabitants needs which are not produced in their countries and improving international relationship among countries far eclipse the demerits.

Since the international trade has increased, many people are positioned in demerit side due to the incapable of rivalries. A good example of this is the small local business. This is due to the fact that most of commodities made from other countries have the best quality and cheaper than local products. As a result of this, these items experience a dramatic drop in national market. Hence, the system makes small local companies bankrupt. It is evident that, the International trade has demerits especially to the small locals companies.

However, there are also the positive effects in international trade system. Although it makes some people in complicated situation, the policy helps the societies find the vital needs that are not produced in their own areas. For instance, some necessary goods like good clothes, bread, butter and so on can be imported to the poor countries. Hence, this policy helps societies fulfill their primary needs. Not only this, it strengthens relationship among the countries obtaining mutual benefits. For this reason, the international trade is very popular due to resulting many merits.

To sum up, it is evident that although international trade reduces small local sellers' incomes, it helps the inhabitants find the important needs and improves the international-relation among countries. Hence, due to positive impacts, this policy should be adjusted and preserved wisely.
La Baso   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - Doing job that really love not always make people get the happiness [4]

Dear writer, allow me to give opinion

Many people thinksthat if ....................

overall, I love reading yours. but in the fist paragraph I think it is better if you should make it simple. it could be "Many people thinks if they want to be happy, they have to work by doing a job they really impressed, but others say there are some factors that can affect people's happiness."

A surging proportion of individuals are keen to think that doing an interested job is the key of happiness

keep writing :) forgive me if I have mistake. :)
La Baso   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children in some kinds of paid work - this is one of the controversial issues. IELTS WRITING TASK 2 [3]

One of debatable issues that some nations face is getting involved children in some kinds of paid work. Although some citizens argue the case can hamper their young growth period such as exploring their imaginations, other state it has some benefits which I believe this can increase their work skills.

Since children are engaged in the paid work, people believe it is really unfair for them. The possible reason is that children have no many times to explore their imaginations which are very crucial to their young period. According to the psychologist, the children who has limited their imaginations period are being less creative. Hence, due to this reason, children experience unfair position.

However, I do not believe the argument stands up to scrutiny. The first reason is that the children get many experiences in work place. This day, it is really crucial to have work experience due to the rising of employee competition. Taking ASEAN as an example, due to ASEAN Economic Community system, the societies should have high qualification skill. Hence, children who has good work experiences and good work-skills will compete easily. Not only this, due to work demands, besides children learn how to earn money, they are also more discipline and independent. In the result of this, the benefits of this issue should be adjusted to increase children work skills.

To sum up, it is evident that although engaging youngest in work paid that will limit their imagination time, its benefits make them more realize about "cross work understanding". Therefore, I would suggest that parents should encourage their children for joining in the paid work.
La Baso   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Money is the key to happiness - it is one of the important necessities in human life [5]

Happiness is difficult to define because it means something different to each individual person. ==== so what? what should you give if it is difficult? on the other hand better if you get paraphrase in this way, perhaps: "It is quite complicated if happiness is defined in the universal way. It depends of people who define." and so on :)

In conclusion, happiness does not depend on money, many things determine such as (better if you mention the main idea :) )

overall, you are good writer. go and keep writing. :)
La Baso   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / In the true happines the emotions and love is involved, not money. [2]

***Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness.
Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?***


Although a surging proportion of individuals are keen to think that having much money is available to bring happiness by buying anything what people want, I believe that money cannot buy happiness, no matter how much money they have.

Regarding to the money can buy happiness, some people believe it is acceptable for several reasons. First of all, people do not need to be worried about their future life due to having enough amount of money especially saved in the bank. Secondly, having amount money can help people to reach anything especially buying many luxuries such as elite house, good clothes, diamond and so on. Not only this, money gives opportunity to the family or people that you want to help to experience better education by taking them in the best schools which is even located in the overseas. Hence, by enough education, people feel happy. For this reason, having money that more than enough, some people argue it is the key of happiness.

However, I do not believe if money is the key of happiness. It is due to the fact that the true happiness is involved emotionally loved. Money is earned by working hard and people that have much money are automatically busy and limited time to meet their close people especially family. Hence, they feel much worried about their family's condition. As result, happiness is created by having good relationship with family with keep in touch in the real time. All in all, having many times with people who we love is the key of happiness while money cannot buy time itself.

To sum up, it is evident that although some societies argue that money can buy happiness, I strongly believe that the key of happiness is having many times to keep in touch with someone we love. However, money cannot buy time.
La Baso   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / The primary commodities import will make small local business broke. Higher global trade - pros/cons [2]

Dear writer, allow me to give little opinion.

Even though this will make small local business ... try to use "although" :)

There is a disadvantage because of the growth of global trade. This is because people are keen on to ...
On the other hand, there are so many benefits because of that things.
you have mentioned the word "because" rapidly. find other similarities such as due to, or this is due to the fact that :)

overall, I love reading yours. it is really understandable. keep writing dude :)
La Baso   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Which the better? learning a culture by watching program or visiting directly [2]

****Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching TV programmers and films about it than by actually visiting.
How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmers about it?*******


These days, some citizens argue that watching TV shows and movies about other countries is the convenience way to study about the condition of the countries. However, I believe that there is anything that the notion does not have and learners should go directly to the places such as experience the cultures and meet the locals directly.

Regarding to watching TV programs and films, some inhabitants state that it is the best method to learn about a foreign country. Proponents of this view argue that it is more efficient. Since societies have been busy in their jobs or schools, they cannot go far from daily activities. By this method, they do not need to visit the places. For instance, the busy learners who would learn about Indonesian cultures. By watching some TV shows such as "Jejak Petualang" in Trans 7 channel which represents about Indonesian live, they know everything about the country. Hence, following the method, people are convenient in learning other cultures.

However, learning the situation of another country by going directly has some superiority that I believe the above statement does not have. First of all, learner who visits another nation can experience directly the cultures and interacts the locals' hospitality. The observer also can prove directly what the situation looks and feels like such as its beautiful landscape. Hence, it is evident that by visiting directly, the learner gets more evidences concerning what he studies about.

To sum up, there is no doubt that although watching TV shows and films about another country makes the learner more effective to understand the situation of the place, I believe that visiting directly to the location has enormous merits. Hence, understanding another cultures, observer should visit the place directly to get real observation.
La Baso   
Apr 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / The advantages gain by museums when charging visitors for admission [2]

Some may find that museums as sacred places where ancient. However, who did you mean by some? the word some need a noun I think :)

These days , most of museums now , evenitboth historical museum or and science museum, ..................

In the fact, they could .........

you might make little bit longer you conclusion. better if at least three sentences :)
La Baso   
Apr 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Are there more advantages or disadvantages to visiting new places? [2]

***Some people like to travel to somewhere new and different when they go on holiday, while others prefer familiar places.
Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages to visiting new places?***


Travelling is a process of getting one place to another. Moreover, there is popular saying, "the world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page". For this reason, nowadays, many societies have some destinations to be visited. Although many people favour go to the same places all the times due to avoiding culture shock, I believe that visiting some novel and different places have many benefits such as experience many cultures and meet different locals.

Regarding to choose familiar destinations, some travelers believe that it is the best way to avoid culture shock. Every area has different culture which means more they visit other situations, more visitors get unexpected things. Taking Japan as an example, someone who plans to go to the country without some experiences may be reputed as impolite person if he does not crooked when meet the natives or difficult to find right cuisine agreeable due to locals have many uncooked foods. Thus, for this reason, many travel-makers decide to visit similar places to get rid of culture shock.

However, although this above notion aim to keep clear from complicated position, I strongly believe that there are many merits if travelers visit new and different locations. Firstly, they experience many cultures. Although feel shock culture firstly, however; they understand how to respect other cultures. Hence, they are more open-minded. Not only this, due to interacting with different locals, they become more tolerant as a result of their travel experiences. In addition, because of trying out many inhabitants cuisines, it could influence the way travelers cook or improve their cooking. Hence, visiting novel and different destinations, travel-makers come up with several advantages.

In conclusion, although some visitors decide to go in the same areas to avoid difficult conditions, I believe that people who are more visit novel and different places more experience many positive benefits.
La Baso   
Apr 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / The table illustrated the comparison of the budget output of Australian households (1991-2001) [NEW]

Writing Task 1 (the graph is below)
The table below shows the monthly expenditure of an average Australian family in 1991 and 2001.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table gives information about Australian family in usual monthly expenditure between 1991 and 2001 and is measured in Australian Dollar. Overall, it can be seen the total expenditure in some needs had an upward trend over the period. In any case, other goods and services was the biggest in expenditure while clothing needs was the lowest throughout the period.

Turning first to other goods and services had the highest expenditure at 250 in 1991. As non-essential goods and services, there was a significant rise in the last of period at 270 which was still the biggest. Food and housing had similar pattern which experienced a slow growth in 2001 at only 160 and 100 in order. Surprisingly, electricity and water rose dramatically in the last year at 120.

In contrast, transport witnessed a marked fall at 45 in 2001. In addition, it is evident that clothing was the lowest expenditure over the period which stood at 30 and ended at 20. Totally, the expenditure total showed a gradual increase at 715 throughout the period.



  • The table
La Baso   
Apr 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / The accommodation is important for people to undertake they daily routines [3]

Dear writer. I am so honor to read your essay. but allow me to give little opinion

in your 1st paragraph "Housing are important for people to undertake they daily rountinely" you should notice the rules of using pronoun. Shortly, I think you must change into "their" .

not only this, I saw several words that misspelling like rountinely (routinely), accomodation (accommodation), oustanding (outstanding), peole (people), theirself (themselves), and so on. In my opinion of view, you should notice the spellings before you publish.

in addition, For instance, the flats in Shanty area, it helps poor inhabitants and inhabitants can stay in home although it is not beautiful but they can find the save place. why you said shanty area is safety? I think you should change it to another example. due to the area has many pros and cons for safety.

overall, you have made this essay more alive. congrats! but better if you improve again.
keep writing :)
La Baso   
Apr 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2. Free tuition fee and healthcare fee for everyone [2]

hi....
Despite all of the possible negative impact, this will benefits humans being in several ways. what do you mean by benefits? if you mean benefit in noun form should be "will be benefits" or if you mean verb it could be will benefit (without s)

allow me to ask in the 2nd paragraph, I strongly agree if spending amount of money in terms of education and healthcare have negative impacts. Yet you just explained from education impact, I did not find negative impact in healthcare, better if you put little explanation of it :)

Thanks
La Baso   
Apr 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1: The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton [2]

The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart illustrates the percentage of using four transportation in Edmonton; and the table gives information about the proportion of possible reasons that why cars are used by citizens. Overall, it can be seen that car was the greatest used while commute to work was the biggest reason people used it.

Concerning to the kinds of transports in pie chart, car showed the biggest used which took place more than two fifths of all transportations. At 35%, Light Rail Transit was the second most popular transport to use. In addition, both Bus and Taxi had similar patterns which were the lowest transportation that stood at only one in ten.

Coming the second to several reasons inhabitants used car in the table, commute to work was the most possible reason which peaked more than half. Business and Taking children to school were the second most largest motives societies used it that were at 45% and 40% in order. However, Shopping and Leisure activities were the last reasons, both were at 15%.



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La Baso   
Apr 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: The preferable job is better for the humans' life [4]

dear writer,
when you write this below sentence
"When it comes to job selecting, everything becomes sensitive"
I ask myself, my it is so become sensitive? you may make it clear that statment

however, if you believe that "favorable work is more pivotal than obtaining much money" I think you may explain it more.

Thanks :)
La Baso   
Apr 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / The global population is predicted to rise dramatically in 2040 and to drop steadily in 2100. IELTS [2]

The graphs below provide information on global population figures and figures for urban populations in different world regions.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The line graph informs the proportion of growing world populations between 1800 and 2100; and the bar chart illustrates the number of people growth based on different regions from 2015 to 2040. Overall, grown global population is predicted to rise dramatically in 2040 and to drop steadily in 2100. It also can be seen that developing regions is projected that has an upward trend while another will remain constant throughout period.

Concerning to universe population growth, stood at 1000 in the beginning of period, rose considerably in 1920 at around 2000. Moreover, in 2040 will experience a sharp increase and will be reached a high of around 8000. However, in the last period, there will be a gradual fall at only about 6000.

Coming the second to both regions, developing regions is forecast to growth slightly over the period which will be the largest number of population throughout period and will peak at 4000. However, there will be unchanged at above 1000 in developed regions over the period that will be the smallest.



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La Baso   
Apr 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / The 60-year period brought some massive changes at the West Park Secondary School [2]

The diagrams show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its contraction in 1950.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant


The maps inform about the changes that have occurred in West Park Secondary School over 60-year period beginning in 1950 and ending 2010. The most noticeable change is the replacement of both houses and farmland with the most proportion of car park in the last period.

To begin, in the first period, there were only four major infrastructures. The first was houses that were located in left side and near in the main road. However, the buildings were replaced by two different public facilities in 1980, in the right side was car park which only existed in this period and was replaced by part of car park in 2010, and the left was science block which was part of school. Next building was school which was beside the houses. In addition to this, the main building of school did not experience a change until the last of period.

There had also been changed in Farmland located behind the houses. In 1980, it experienced a change to sports filed and finally was replaced by car park area in 2010. The last is playground which stayed behind the school and experienced a small size in 2010 due to sport field was being moved to the part of it.



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La Baso   
Apr 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / In the rainwater reusing process water treatment place and the tank supply water to a household [3]

Dear writer

allow me to give little opinion.
- you should put the map on your essay.

... reused which is from two placesto keep water aresuch as in the dam and neighbourhoodneighborhood of house (what do you mean by neighborhood?).

- your 1st paragraph may be put like this The diagram presents about several ways of reusing rainwater. it can be seen that rainwater can be poured from the dam and directly from the rainwater tank.

keep writing :)
La Baso   
Apr 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TEST 2: How people will become happy with money or another factor [4]

dear writer, allow me to give little opinion

I have read you conclusion
In conclusion, although the money can control ...

first, you might be miss that it should be put with does :)

second, allow me to give little option. may be you may write
All in all, it can be seen that, although ...................................................

keep writing :)
La Baso   
Apr 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Before sending directly to houses the rainwater must be in the treatment plant for purifying process [2]

The diagram below shows how rainwater is reused.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.


This diagram presents about the ways of reusing rainwater such as poured from the dam or directly taken from rainwater tank.
To begin, rainwater is placed in the dam. Before sending directly to the houses for drinking water or other vital purposes, water must be in water treatment plant for purifying process. Another method is that rainwater is placed in the rainwater tank. Due to water is not purified when it is sent to the house; it is only used for garden purpose or not for drinking.

After water is used for several purposes, the household wastewater is placed in the wastewater treatment plant for purification and next its excess treated water is ready to be sent in the river. In any case, there is also recycled water process that allows the water to be used again. In addition, the stormwater is being sent directly to the river by pipe after in the stormwater treatment.



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La Baso   
Apr 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2. The people's low interest of walking [2]

dear writer

but in this era,(needed come) only a few do people realize this.

There are several predominant factors of low number of people doing walkingthat why people have decide to not walking a lot .

overall, you have menage you essay better. keep writing :)
La Baso   
Apr 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2, In this modern era, smoking is more than lifestyle [3]

hay,

I see your essay and I say wow it is amazing. i mean you 1st paragraph is really teasing me. you said "In this modern era, smoking is more than lifestyle ."

from the word lifestyle, I read it more and more until finish to fine the reason why it is more than lifestyle? unfortunately, I do not find it yet

may be, you may write
In this modern era, although some people argue that smoking is a lifestyle which allows people to enjoy their lives, it can make not only the smoker becoming sick but also those who stay near them. I totally agree that smoking should be forbidden in public areas.

thanks :) keep writing
La Baso   
Apr 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Before bricks can be used by a builder, they must be in the drying oven for 24 until 48 hours [2]

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram gives information about the ways that must be done to manufacture bricks before using for the building industry purpose. It can be seen that, several processes in these bricks before to be delivered directly.

To manufacture the bricks, clay that is taken by a digger must be put in the metal grid and after that must be in the roller. The next process is that the clay is be added by sand and water, and can be box shaped in both different ways like by mould or by wire cutter.

Before the bricks are being used for building industry, it must be in drying oven for 24 until 48 hours. After that, it is placed in the kiln at moderate 200C-980C and next at around high 870C-1300C. In addition, before being packed, the bricks once in the cooling chamber for 48-72 hours. Finally, these all bricks are ready to be delivered by the truck for the purpose of building industry.



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