Unanswered [13] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by GATE
Name: Insha Singh
Joined: Feb 11, 2020
Last Post: Jul 2, 2020
Threads: 9
Posts: 17  
Likes: 1
From: India
School: Presentation convent school

Displayed posts: 26
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
GATE   
Jul 2, 2020
Writing Feedback / Older people struggle with use of modern technology. Reasons and solutions [5]

How to survive in the digital world?



Some older people struggle with the use of modern electronic technology such as smartphones, computers. What are the reasons and give your solutions? ( please give me a score)

We all are living in an epoch of advanced technology and people have to learn new things to adapt with the modern technology. It is generally seen that senior citizens become the victims whenever new technology launches due to lack of knowledge and to overcome the same, we need to educate them so that they do not feel left behind.

Undoubtedly, we come across with the updation in electronic gadgets on frequent basis and adolescents are smart enough these days that they cope up with them quite easily. However, the older people always struggle in using the smart phones, laptops because of its technicality and lack of knowledge. For example, there are various hi-tech apps in one/a mobile phone like WhatsApp, Camera, Messaging, Facebook etc. it appears so difficult for them to understand the cumbersome gadgets on their own.

To resolve the issues faced by those individuals, there is a need to set up institute to impart training to them so that they can also be well versed with the technology. Various studies have shown that elderly people in New York are able to use the electronic gadgets easily since institutes therein teach them about the functions of devices. Moreover, it is advisable that the companies who are launching the new phones must vouchsafe the people by providing the manual with pictures printed on it so they can understand it well.

All in all, to survive in the digital world everyone has to adapt to the technological environment by learning the new things at every stage in the life otherwise they will find themselves in difficult situations.

(267 words)
GATE   
Jul 2, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : Business and marketing, promotion funds (which makes people buy their products) [4]

First of all, issue with sentence structure.
Intro: "... products can reach to reach the customers. "

Para 1: "widely known items will ensure much ..." - you can say they form their trust through extensive adverts and get into the subconscious mind of people.

"... many of them have come to failure" - have become a failure

Para 2: please put an example.you can talk about how internet is assisting such local companies to get their own space. You can also talk about e commerce space where they can market their products at cheap price.

Overall its good.
GATE   
May 27, 2020
Writing Feedback / Spend money and save money. Discussion of both sides. [3]

Spendings and savings, and economy of a country



Some people think that it is better for a country's economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both sides and give your opinions.

Whether people should spend their money and boost national economy, or whether they should save money for future use is a controversial issue. Nobody can deny that the amount of money spent in a daily basis is directly connected with the economic situation of a country. However, I am inclined that people should keep their money safe in the banks in order to use them in case of need.

Firstly, it is essential for all people to have savings for several purposes such as education. Parents should save a small amount of their monthly income, in order to invest in their children's education. As a result, children will enrich their knowledge, get prepared to leave childhood behind and become adults that are valuable assets for modern societies. Furthermore, saving money can be a personal investment for individual's health. Unfortunately, death rates from flus are steadily increased, especially in Third World countries, where poverty rates are also high. Each person should keep some money aside and use them in case of emergency, such as a surgery or a virus influenza.

On the other side, few would dispute that buying material possessions will help national economies to rise and become financially stronger. In case all people start saving their money, the risk of corruption will be increased, as market will not have any earnings from purchases. For instance, in 2013, Cyprus had faced the greater financial corruption of Cypriot history. The main cause of this was the increased amount of people's savings in national banks.

To sum up, although daily transactions can improve economy, I strongly believe that savings are crucial for people to live a decent life. People should save a part of their money, so in future they will have the chance to spend them wherever they want.
GATE   
May 27, 2020
Writing Feedback / The gap between the developed and the developing nations is increasing rapidly [3]

Rich countries are getting richer while poor countries are getting poorer.


What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem?

There is no denying that the gap between the developed and the developing nations is increasing rapidly. This is an issue that calls for immediate action. Carefully considering the causes of this increasing gap though is crucial before contemplating on an effective solution.

First and foremost, an essential cause of the rising wealth inequalities is the poor administration policies that underdeveloped economies follow. Precisely, poor nations are being governed by politicians and leaders that do not invest in vital services like education. Education is one of the most valuable means for the development of an economy. The extremely low educational level of the citizens of those countries not only cannot help on the development of its economy, but also, in this way underdeveloped nations become objects of exploitation from the wealthy countries. People are not educated in order to flourish the country's economy and as a consequence, the affluent exploit the earth of those countries like the oil field the workforce and more, resulting in the even more development of the developed nations.

This situation could be overcome if rich countries offered substantial aid to the impoverished nations. As it is generally accepted that education is the key to improving the economy, developed economies could supply funds to build schools and pay teachers. This measure would result in expanding education and producing scientists so that the country will not have to depend on other wealthy ones. Particularly, by developing highly educated labour force sectors like construction or agriculture could be improved significantly.

To recapitulate, the increasing gap between the rich and the poor nations should not be ignored. It is clear that there is much that can be done to solve this problem, but the governments of all the world should work together.

(i am a bit confused on conclusion part. how to make it better?)
GATE   
May 22, 2020
Writing Feedback / Traffic on roads has become a problem in nearly every in the world [3]

Solving problems of the number of vehicles on roads



Traffic on roads has become a problem in nearly every country in the world. What can be done to reduce the amount of traffic at a society level and at an Individual level?

In this age of downfall, people are facing enormous problems especially, number of vehicles on roads are spreading like a fire and have become a global issue simultaneously triggering various worries in our lives. There are some measures such as increment in road taxes and carpooling that can help mitigate the problem of overcrowding of cars on roads which are discussed in the following paragraphs.

First of all, people are becoming car maniac and owning a private car is a matter of pride nowadays and we need to change this mentality by hook or crook. An increment in the rate of interest on vehicle finance or levy of heavy taxes on the purchase of private cars can become a factor to stabilize this issue. For instance, recently Italy has enhanced the cost of vehicle by implementing 5% additional road tax and has got flabbergasting results as there are fewer private cars on the roads, as compared to past.

Furthermore, the above course of actions is not enough to make our roads smoother, it would be more effective if every individual takes initiative towards its betterment by trusting on public transportation which is a great solution to reduce traffic congestion on the road. Moreover, an individual may set an example for others by way of sharing vehicles which is the best method to fight with the sluggish traffic. Carpooling will play a vital role in our future life so this is the perfect time to inculcate this habit which can change the face of our roads.

To recapitulate, although all the above-mentioned corrective measures are little complicated and cumbersome especially carpool as it is the matter of one's self-satisfaction and privacy, but it is most fruitful. Both, society and individual should keep an eye on it which is required to develop a good and efficient lifestyle.
GATE   
May 20, 2020
Writing Feedback / Leisure is a growing industry [2]

The modern technology has made people less creative



Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to because the use of modern technology has made them less creative. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.


Going to vacation is a trend nowadays and this is the reason behind the growth of travel sector. I completely agree with the statement as with the advancement of technology over the period of time, holidays are becoming boring and more insensible as over dependency on gadgets like, mobile and camera are making us less imaginative. Let us discuss it thoroughly with help of next paragraphs.

Undoubtedly, technology has changed our life drastically, but simultaneously carries some disadvantages with it. As compared to the past, people are avid to take lots of photographs for the memories, but camera does not allow a person to enjoy the current moments and they could easily skip the essence of the holiday. For Example, people in the mid of 90s used to paint the scenery in their leisure time which made them more creative and artistic. On the other hand, now people are glued with the camera just for the sake of sharing pictures on social media.

We all are becoming the slaves of technology especially mobile phones which have made us a Mobile Zombie. It never allows a person to enjoy the holiday at the fullest and can eat a significant time which could be utilized to find out more activities to make the vacation more entertaining. Till the time of invention of mobile, the people used to do enormous adventurous and creative activities to entertain themselves which helped them to live the life in better way.

To recapitulate, modern technologies are required to make our life easier, but we should also look at the other side of the coin. People should enjoy their leisure time with nature and its serene beauty which can enhance their imagination.
GATE   
May 19, 2020
Writing Feedback / Less international travel in the future. [2]

Some people point out that there will be less international travel in the future.


Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.(can you give individual scores based on criteria?)

Cross-country travelling is quite debatable topic and many people believes that in the upcoming future international travel will become less over the period of time. So, it needs to ascertain whether it would be positive or negative sign for a nation. Well, I am of the both view that it would be positive trend as well as negative trend.

First of all, if inter-country travelling will be less in the near future then it is beneficial for a country as it will help in saving the outflow of domestic currency to other nation. For example, if people go for holiday trip internationally then they end up spending handsome amount on adventure activities, souvenirs etcetera, so it is an indirect loss for the native country to which travellers belong. Moreover, persons who travel abroad much frequently become habitual to adopt the culture of destination country which is not at all good for a nation since it will start losing their culture values gradually.

On the other hand, tourism industry plays a vital role in uplifting the economy. Any country will be able to earn major chunk of income through tourism sector, therefore, if foreigners people will not visit internationally then a country will not be able to earn foreign exchange. Various researches have shown that federal government earns humongous amount of revenue in the form of taxes through international tourism. Furthermore, many sectors which are directly associated with the tourism will have drastic impact on their growth i.e. hospitality sector, entertainment zones etc.

To sum up, I understand that international tourism is integral for a nation by which we can maintain the good relationship with other country and can earn revenue but we should not forget the cultural values of one's own country by visiting other nation.
GATE   
May 17, 2020
Writing Feedback / With the growing world population, there's the problem of feeding such a large number of people [3]

Genetically modified foods question



with the growing world population,one of the most pressing issues is that of feeding such a large number of people. some people think that Genetically modified foods offer a viable solution to this problem. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nobody can deny that world's population is continuously growing and at the same time sources of food are diminishing at a speedy pace. This issue has resulted in the development of genetically modified foods, and even though this solution is not approved by everyone, I strongly believe that it is vital to cover the people's food needs.

To begin with, with the advent of genetic engineering, there are many improvements in modified foods. Products such as milk, tomatoes or any type of fruit can be modified and made to last longer that it usually does. This is a major benefit as it can cover the needs of people for longer duration because of their great resistance. Furthermore, overpopulation can cause the disappearance of some farmlands which are playing a crucial role for the production of agricultural products. Genetics can improve the fitness of both plants and animals, by modifying their genes, which would results in the improvement of crops and fertility respectively. By this, producers can generate bigger amount of food with the same number of plants or animals.

On the other side, few would dispute that genetically modified foods can cause many health problems such as cancer or food allergies. Additionally, genetics is a new field of biology so humankind can not be sure for of the results. In other words, there is not enough evidence that modified foods will cover the increased feeding needs effectively or whether it will cause a general risk for everyone.

To sum up, even though genetically modified food has its own risk, I firmly believe that it's a great solution for the phenomenon pressing issue of overpopulation in modern societies, while genetical innovation rise.
GATE   
May 15, 2020
Writing Feedback / Children watch a lot of TV and play video games - writing task 2(IELTS) [2]

The 'screen staring' effect on kids



Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games.However, some people think that these activities are not good for the child's mental health.To what extent you agree or disagree?(please do score it)

Nobody can deny that in the recent years, children spend much of their time by watching television or playing video games. This issue has raised a great concern for some people who believe that these activities present several downsides on the children's psychology. However, I am convinced that spending a normal timespan can be proved beneficial for many reasons.

Firstly, children who constantly use electronic devices become techno-liberate at an early age in this increased technological-oriented society. Furthermore, there are video games and television programs which are designed to develop various skills of children such as critical and logical thinking, or even learning a new language. Spending time to on these activities can be both entertaining and educational and thus, young people do not perceive them as work, but they end up learning and having fun at the same time. For instance, Greek TV program "Rainbow" aims to educate children, from an early age, on how to interact with their peers and how to develop their social skills.

On the other side, few would dispute that these activities can be detrimental to the child's psychological health. To be more specific there are some online games or TV programs which include sexually explicit material or violent scenes. Children are the most vulnerable audience and they are surely affected from what they see. Moreover, chat rooms in video games have become the new playground for sexual predators who most of times try to manipulate unsuspecting children.

To sum up, this issue is far from black and white. Even though some negative effects are crucial, and we need to pay attention, I strongly believe that under normal circumstances this these kind of activities can have both educational and entertaining purpose.
GATE   
Mar 6, 2020
Writing Feedback / CBEST PROMPT Explain what led to your decision to become a teacher. [5]

Hi. some grammar issues:

i used to say

"... day I am still doing it"

"with me and my classmates "

If you have ever had any experience teaching kids like at home or temporarily somewhere, do add that. This will give your answer the weightage required.

Hope this helps.
GATE   
Mar 3, 2020
Writing Feedback / Children's education expensive. Government pay some/all costs . Advantages outweigh disadvantages? [3]

I don't know what your full prompt is or if this is writing task 2 of IELTS. So please clear that out.

"students knowledge"- knowledge to students

" Thanks to education , kids will become ..." - Framed informally. You can write, " By educating children, the nation's human resources will become capable enough to grow themselves as well as nation as a whole."

"However , there are opponents who argue... It is not true at all " - you could have written this line in introduction. whenever you write a paragraph, go with one stance.

"kids are able to ... "- kids will have free access to basic education.

"Parents will not have to be worried about school ..." - very contradicting.you don't need money only to pay fee of your children. there can be other necessities too like food and shelter. you could have written that " parents could focus more on making making their as well as their family's survival better if they know that their children are getting free education.

also add an example of any country where the government is providing free education and relate it with your essay. And you need to work on your intro and conclusion.
GATE   
Mar 2, 2020
Graduate / About my internship: help me with the grammar mistakes and the fluency in my essay! [3]

grammar:

"I gain leadership experience and ..." - First of all, don't start the para like this. It looks childish. you can start from" During my internship, when holding the Asia..."

"I was responsible with event ..." - I was responsible for managing the business matchmaking event, including time scheduling...

"position they were supposed to be"

"the event was at a facing manpower"

"time exceed problem" - time extension issue

" I asked idle colleagues for aid" - i arranged volunteers

"went on with further..."

I think you could have written this in a much better way. try to rewrite it.
GATE   
Feb 26, 2020
Writing Feedback / Ielts1 - report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. [3]

utilization of energy in the USA



question:
The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.


The graph compares the utilization of energy in the USA since 1980 and also gives a projection of it till year 2030.

It is clear that petrol, oil and coal accounted as high units of fuel consumption over the given years as opposed to Nuclear,solar/wind and hydropower.

Now turning to the details, about 35 quadrillion units of petrol and oil was consumed in 1980 which fluctuated and then the figure surged to 40 quadrillion units in 2005 which will move upto 48 quadrillion units in 2030. coal and natural gas will follow the same trend starting at about 16 and 20 quadrillion units respectively in 1980 and crisscrossing each other over the years till 2015 when both reach 25 quadrillion units. The projections show coal will gradually increase to above 30 quadrillion units in 2030 whereas natural gas will level out at 25 quadrillion units.

On the contrary, Nuclear and solar/wind energy's consumption figures rise up in tiny amounts from under 5 quadrillion units in 1980 to between 5-10 quadrillion units in 2030. whereas hydropower energy consumption remains same (about 4 quadrillion units) over the whole period.

(187 words)




GATE   
Feb 18, 2020
Writing Feedback / Ielts Writing Task 1 bar chart The average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different [3]

As you are aiming for 6.5, it is touching the mark.

Para 3:
" the number of unpaid hours of childless women overwhelms that of women with children." This is incorrect because of the word "overwhelms". check its meaning and change the sentence.

" for approximately 50 and 60 hours in respectively." - again incorrect.could be written as - reaching approximately ...
GATE   
Feb 17, 2020
Writing Feedback / General Training - Task 2 - Type: Agree or Disagree - Subject: ban smoke, public areas, countries [3]

This is a good writing. Try to add a better example in para 3, for example "The Ministry of Health in India declared in 2016 that children and teenagers who are exposed to smoking either at home or in the community have at least forty percent greater chance of becoming active smokers."

work on your vocabulary and use complex structures. For example:
" For that reason, restricting the liberty of smoking ..."
It can be written as:
"Consequently, banning smoking in public places will reduce the probability of children falling prey of this deadly habit."

Try using less words to convey the meaning.This will give you word buffer to add more ideas and your sentence structure would automatically become complex. Hope this helps.
GATE   
Feb 17, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: In the chart - British Men and Women in further education [4]

Para 2:
"On the contrary, the number of women engaging in part time study increased steadily " 3:

para 3:
" In 1980, there were only below 100 thousands men who studied full-time."

Conclusion is totally wrong.First of all it wasn't needed.Secondly question isn't mentioning that women were/weren't equal to men. you assumed it. The examiner will cut marks for this. And there wasn't any overview. Cut the conclusion and write an overview after your intro.

Hope this helps.
GATE   
Feb 17, 2020
Writing Feedback / The popularity of different Scottish attractions between 1980 and 2010 [3]

You haven't included the picture for this essay.

Para 1:"In addition, the proportion visiting the Castle ..."

Para 2:
"By contrast, the Festival was the most favored place for visitors to Scotland." - this implies that festival remained favored place throughout the years which is wrong.Specify the year.

"but then this percentage saw ..."

Para 3:
" There was a rapid growth to a peak of 35% in 1985 before decreasing sharply to less than 10% in 2010." - it seems as if after reaching peak in 1985, there was a steady decline and no fluctuation which isn't true.So, this is incorrect information.

" in over the period of 15 years"
" It roses from 22%"
GATE   
Feb 14, 2020
Writing Feedback / Ielts Task 1: Gross Domestic Product including IT and Service industries in the UK from 1992 to 2000 [4]

Your essay is good and understandable which is giving almost all information.
"where as GDP ... percentage was fluctuated slightly."

Since you essay is of 172 words, you can cut few unwanted words from your overview and next para and you can add more in last para by stating the differences in percentage.You can do a total of 180 words which is acceptable in this task.
GATE   
Feb 13, 2020
Writing Feedback / Computer technology vs Maintaining public libraries [4]

Since you are taking one stance in your essay, you should stick to it and add ideas there instead of writing the advantages of computers over libraries. you can talk about excess information available on internet which is mostly not reliable whereas books have reliable data which can be counted on. You can also talk about rural areas which don't have internet access.For them public library is the only option.Furthermore, community libraries are the cheapest source of information for everyone.
GATE   
Feb 13, 2020
Writing Feedback / [IELTS TASK 2] About success: Some people are born with talents, however some are taught [5]

Your writing is good.Your first and second paragraphs are good. In the third one,It looks like everything is focused on education and schools and their curriculum.Its not only schools that can make someone proficient in something,it is also the person's hard work and determination that plays a key role in becoming a skilled craftsman. In the example ,you can talk about ronaldo's determination and eagerness to play football since a small age even though he belonged from a poor family.

You can also add the point that despite being gifted child, the gift is of no use unless it is worked upon so everything comes down to hard work and determination.

Hope this helps
GATE   
Feb 12, 2020
Writing Feedback / Magical Tool - [IELTS ACADEMIC-WRITING TASK 2] MUSIC'S EXTRAORDINARY ABILITIES [3]

Its a good writing with some grammatical errors.you can also add today's fusion music ,can be a way to bring together people having different tastes in music.For culture, you can talk about the advancement in technology which has given access to every genre of music to anyone having a simple internet connection. you can cite examples of famous bands of west and also our own musicians like Nusrat Fateh Ali khan,Lata Mangeshkar etc.

Hope this helps
GATE   
Feb 12, 2020
Writing Feedback / Reducing traffic accidents by penalizing drivers? [IELTS WRITING TASK 2] [5]

Its a fairly good writing. The points you've mentioned are correct. Try to add up more ideas.
FOR -
Add more examples that focus on different traffic rules.
AGAINST-
You have just mentioned one point that is quality of roads and repeated it in whole para.You can add up more pointers like traffic lights, overhead bridges, different lanes for different vehicles,stationing of traffic police etc.
GATE   
Feb 12, 2020
Writing Feedback / Student behave badly these days. Why occurs? Give solutions [3]

Since I don't know your whole question, I'll just be pointing out the grammatical errors.

Para 1-
"provided with better accommodations" - student's behaviour is not linked to his/her accommodation only.

Para 2-
"would gethave higher chances"
"snowing under paperwork"
"they are rather too focused on making a living"
"their children are left suffering from being less concernedneglected, specifically, on their feelings and strange behavior.for the love and care they crave for"
"overindulgent"- correct word-overindulged
"privilegeprivileged children would have no respects for their teachers"
"time consuming for the teachers to deal with such students"

Para 3-
"It is the peak time for the number of poorly behavior students" - No need for such statement.
"their time on works"
"more time onwith their children "

Talk more about the role of teachers in student's life and you can also add about the people students hang out with which moulds their behaviour.
GATE   
Feb 12, 2020
Writing Feedback / [IETLS ACADEMIC - WRITING TASK 2] MOBILE PHONE - ANTISOCIAL INVENTION? [4]

Please refrain using "I/me/myself".
2nd para- try using more ideas and complex structures.for example you can write about " mobile phone as a distracting medium and it has become an extended part of body.people have become habitual of checking their phones every now and then." then talk about the anti social nature it is inculcating in humans. for example - sitting with friends and checking phone,more comfortable to talk virtually than meeting in person etc(talk about how it makes us antisocial).

overall your 2nd para was ok,try to make complex structures and add up some examples.

3rd para- talking about the health issues related to smoking is not relevant to topic.talk about how smoking is not acceptable in society due to the harmful effects it causes others.some words are not making sense in your paragraph like ", it cannot denied the outweigh advantages".

Grammatical errors -"can make the our life easier"
" most convenient ways "
"This is absolutely more less time-consuming than in the past."

4th para- conclusion could've been way better. " mobile phone somehow can against social norms" this is not understandable.

I hope this helps.
GATE   
Feb 11, 2020
Writing Feedback / Different views about the amount of money paid to top sportspeople. [5]

Words like "I/Me/Myself " - cannot be used
Introduction- Could've been better.Try writing introductory lines about the sports industry in general and then talk about the question.
Agreement para- good point with relevant examples.
Disagreement para-
" Finally, sport is a multi-million-dollar industry; there are many firms that want to use popular sportspeople for advertising purposes, by making considerable investment into advertising their products." - Irrelevant point. No relation to fair salaries. you can add more points like their limited career span and their physical fitness which is of utmost importance and how they can get out of the game/team with just one injury. you can write relevant examples taking the above point into consideration.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳