Writing Feedback / IELTS: 'tension & misunderstanding' - international tourism [NEW]

International tourism is the biggest industry in the world now. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. Do you agree or disagree?

Travelling abroad for relaxation prevails recently because of the stiff competitions among white-collar workers. Under this situation, some people are concerned about the clashes that cause between the locals and the visitors. From my perspective, these worries sound reasonable.

Apparently, visitors spend one or two weeks in traveling to an exotic country. In the limited time, it is fairly difficult for tourists to get familiar to the local culture. Also, it may cause misunderstandings in mutual communication due to language barrier. It is well-known that different places have its own communication pattern including gestures and expressions. Thus understanding well of these distinctions in an alien culture is unrealistic in such a short time for travelers as fewer of which are willing to grasp the information regarding the destination in advance.

On the local residents' standing point, the influx of international tourists may constitute intrusion to the inhabitants. Naturally, local people tend to sell souveniors to the travelers instead of dedicating to crop yield due to the fact that the international tourism increases the local residents' income and spurs the local economy. However, the visitors seems understand slightly. Take Chinese visitors for example, they form a habit of bargaining for everything, particular the souveniors. These behaviors would contribute to tension easily because of the difference in different culture system.

Although appropriate communication between visitors and the local people may help establish better understanding in differing countries and some stereotypes may be eliminated as well, the limited time of travel and the difference in culture pattern would cause clashes in more cases. In order to maintain the intended goal of enhancing mutual understanding, I believe, the visitors should learn the culture difference beforehand.

Writing Feedback / IELTS------build for certain purposes our good exterior? [NEW]

It is more important for a building to serve certain purposes than just to look good. Do you agree or disagree?

Architects often find themselves in a dilemma when they have to determine the building's style as two options sound justified-functionality or exterior design. Some architects claim that the function arrangement is more valuable by comparison to the good looking exterior. Personally, I coincide myself with this viewpoint.

Admittedly, the outside image is one of the essential elements of a building, regardless of the commercial buildings or historical ones. It is because most people who appeal mainly to visit for the building because of the first sight. Thus, the entrepreneurs may invest a company for being attracted by its exterior, becoming one of the bond holders and risk takers. In terms of international tourism, foreigners tend to visit some places with special looking due to the fact that many people have a curiosity to take an adventure.

However, the society as well as the individual would benefit more if a building serves a particular purpose. An example aptly illustrate this point of view is the boom of tourism. There is no getting around that people spend their money and time on travelling for the fundamental reason that to experience different culture and history. Therefore, in order to meet visitors' original demand, the buildings in the local should combine more historical factors together. When travelers adore their trips and suggest their friends to travel, the local economy would be spurred in a rapid growth.

Furthermore, building buildings for certain purposes will greatly drive up the space utilization rate, which suits for the fast-developing countries. It is well known that the first thing that the business men choose a site for their companies or industries is the price. Given the high operational cost, they will choose a commercial building rather than a building with good looking. So, a functional building is more suit for the fast pace society.

To conclude, a building with function arrangement is more superior to the one with good exterior for individual and society. However, if the buildings could be built with functionality and good-looking exterior, I believe, it will bring more benefits.

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surpass 5 minutes....maybe a little too long..

Writing Feedback / IELTS--the proportion of elderly people is increasing steadily, positive or negative? [NEW]

In many countries, the proportion of elderly people is increasing steadily. Does this trend have more positive than negative effects on society?

Currently, the population of the old keeps a steady rise among countries, particularly in the affluent countries. From my perspective, this is a positive trend for our society.

Apparently, the government has more flexible money if the pressure of the old remains steady. This is because the authorities can dedicate more funds to improving other infrastructure facilities, ranging from schools meeting people's basis right of receiving education to museums where people feel relax after the stiff competitions in the society, instead of senior houses. In this way, the level of citizens' quality is enhanced greatly, which benefits in building the knowledge-based society.

Furthermore, as the percentage of retirees grow gradually, the pressure the government shoulders relieves to a larger extent. Every year, the new born rate of the world increases dramatically, thus making the society difficult to assume the huge population stress. If more elderly people appear, it would pose a grave threat to the immature well-fare system in the society as a whole. What can be more disturbing is to contribute to instability on society.

Beyond that, the gradual increase percentage of the old is a positive sign for an ever-lasting society. Only if the medical care of a society are developing shiftily will more people prolong their life span and lower the rate of becoming old as well. Therefore, such society should be drawn on, playing a model role among others.

In conclusion, the elder population which remains a steady increase rate in many countries is positive phenomenon in terms of the limited funds, pressure and image of the government.

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Limit the time in writing~~

Writing Feedback / IELTS - illness prevention, promoting healthy lifestyles? [2]

Some people think that to prevent illness, it is more important for the government to spend public money on promoting healthy lifestyles than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Regarding the method to prevent illness, two options of the government seems reasonable: healthy lifestyles' promotion or treatment for the sick. From my perspective, both prevention and treatment of the authorities sound necessary in medical care.

To avoid serious illness, sticking a wholesome lifestyles is of help. As we all know that the diseases come into being for long, not for a day. In other word, eating junk food, such as hamburger, for several days when workers are too busy to have dinners, it will not seriously damage those people's health. However, if people keep this harmful habit every day, many diseases will follow. That's because the fast food diet is a major contributor to serious health problems such as obesity and heart disease. Therefore, the government should allocate more money to advocate the healthy lifestyle as citizens are taxpayers.

On the other hand, the patients should be thought highly of by the government and given proper treatment. Even though the authorities have limited budget for many infrastructure facilities development, the quality of citizens' living should be the priority. Only when the sick get better after treatment, can lift a sense of happiness among people. Furthermore, adequate treatments to the ill convey the care from the society, which benefits the form of harmonious society.

To conclude, two ways to prevent illness sound productive. But either of the two needs the support from government. With adequate money and being spent wisely, I believe, the task of preventing diseases could be fulfilled through prevention of wholesome lifestyle and proper treatment to the already sick.

Writing Feedback / IELTS; International organizations; international aid is necessary [NEW]

International organizations have failed to help everyone who needs help so they should only focus on helping the poor people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree?

With limited money, international organizations, indeed, could not manage to help every needed person. But it doesn't mean that the international community should only provide help to their own poverty-stricken citizens. From my perspective, International organizations have irreplaceable obligation to help the poor.

The purpose of establishing international organizations is help. For example, the World Bank composed by affluent countries offers lower-interest loans to the poor countries. Through this way, the less wealthy countries have enough money to develop the infrastructure facilities, such as roads and pipeline, which could generate massive job opportunities. As more job vacancies will be provided, more lay-off workers in the poor countries could make a living by themselves. Therefore, the living standard of the local people could be apparently improved.

Maybe it seems unfair to the wealthy countries which still have the poor people in their own countries. It is true that the action to help the poor in other countries will damage the interests of the taxpayers in the affluent countries. However, it isn't unfair if we consider the fact that hundreds of thousands of the poor are under starvation in other countries in contrast to fewer poor people in the wealthy countries.

Even though the international organizations have failed to help every the needed, offering help will still make a difference in change the imbalance of fortune in the globe. Without international aid, a large number of poor people may die of starvation in the year to come. Further, the poor may take violent measures, such as stealing, to support their lives, which may drive up the crime rate and cause inability in the country as well.

To conclude, international aid is necessary, despite a few countries will benefit. For the wealthy countries, they should give priority to the needed in their own countries before helping the poor in other countries.

Writing Feedback / IELTS---Advertising discourages us from being different individuals? [2]

Advertising discourages us from being different individuals makes us look the same. Do you agree?

Today, many commercial advertisements can be seen everywhere, selling different kinds of products such as cosmetics, toys and clothes. Some people concern that the widespread of advertisements may result in the loss of individuality among people as people tend to wear the same clothes and use the some makeup. From my perspective, I completely disagree with this viewpoint.

Admittedly, people from different walks of life have various consumption views. However, most of people would budget their disposable income wisely instead of wasting all in a set of clothes without serious consideration. Therefore, even though the proliferation of the commercial advertisements for the same luxury product, people would still make decisions of buying or not according to their limited income.

Also, people are capability to distinguish whether the clothes in the advertisement suit for themselves or not. Being exposed in a sea of advertisements for long, people's immune systems towards advertisements have strengthened. Consequently, fewer people would be swayed by the gorgeous clothes in the advisements as they realized that most clothes on advertisements only suit for models but not for the average.

Furthermore, so many different advertisements are provided for people's option, it is fairly difficult to be the same with others. Take clothes for example, the styles are various range from classical to modern, childish to mature, conservative to sexy. So, people still could choose their favorite style to meet their demand.

To conclude, as the multi-choice of advertisement and people's wise budget, people would not lost their individualities under the strong promotion of the same product in the advertisement.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-- important to prevent language extinction [4]

Every year several languages die out. Some people think it is not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is not uncommon that many aboriginal languages are struggling on the brink of extinction every year. Some people concern that the measures of keeping them alive not necessarily make sense, therefore, it is no longer important to prevent the extinction of languages. From my perspective, I completely disagree with this viewpoint.

It is true that a large sum of money may useless in lowering the speed of languages' extinction. Today, fewer people are willingness to studying a language which is spoken by several thousand people. In spite of aboriginal people, the youngsters tend to study English, a universal language, instead of their own language because of easier communication with other people. Consequently, these languages would die out when the old generations pass away in some decades. Even though the government allocates lots of money in prevention, the outcome may not satisfy as well.

However, it doesn't mean that the action for prevention is meaningless. As one of the essential parts of local culture, the boom of local language will accelerate the local economic development. If the local have realized the economic benefits the language brings, more local people will eager to learn the aboriginal language. In this way, the local language could survive under enough emphasis. Furthermore, language diversity may damage if several languages die out. This is rather serious as these extinct languages would not revive despite of any method.

Therefore, it is quite significant to keep all the languages survive, practically the endangered one. We must clearly realize that the language plays an important role in our culture.

Writing Feedback / IELTS--Air travel only brings advantages to the rich people? [2]

Air travel only brings advantages to the rich people. But the majority of people do not benefit from it. To what extent do you agree?

Currently, people have more disposable income to spend on travel. As one of favorable travelling transportations, planes play an irreplaceable role as it provides people convenience. Under this situation, some people are worried that air travel will become a priority to the wealthy lie in the sky-high price. From my perspective, a great member of average people could still get benefits.

Admittedly, the rich people can select the first-class in the plane. It is commonplace that a plane is divided in three different parts according to different equipments and services. The wealthy people have more options to determine their journey in comparison to the poor who have limited money to take the economy-class.

However, it takes equal time for all the people in different classes to travel by air. Even though less comfortable can be felt, a large amount of average citizens could enjoy the time-saving and efficient travel by plane. Therefore, the arrangement of a plane appeals to various people from different works of lives instead of restricting in a few rich people.

On the social scale, the boom of air travel will provide more job vacancies to youngsters. Every year, there are numerous graduates struggling in looking for jobs under stiff competitions. With the prosperity of traveling, individuals tend to find jobs easily and gain the ability of supporting themselves.

To conclude, the advantages of air travel belongs to all the people, regardless of the fortune. Apparently, more people will be attracted by plane if the price will be lower.

Writing Feedback / (IELTS) Could predict criminal acts from 3 years old child? Thanks~ [NEW]

Many scientists believe that now we can study the behavior of three-year-old children to see whether they will grow up to be criminals. To what extent do you think the crime is a product of human nature and how can we prevent the children from growing up to be criminals.

Today, the rising crime rate raises citizen's concern and scientists begin to explore the reasons of criminal acts. The opinion that children in the age of three have the characteristic of becoming a criminal in the future has been put forward by some scientists. From my own perspective, criminal behavior is a product of nurture rather than nature. Parents and the media should be responsible for the crime.

Parental upbringing background is one of essential parts for the breed of crime. Some parents take extremely method to combat problems no matter what problem it is. Young as the child is, their parents tend to scorn them loudly or beat them strictly if they make little mistakes, such as go back home lately, which hurts the vulnerable heart and mind of their child. As far as child's concerned, they don't have the capability to distinguish right from wrong, easily following the violent behavior their parents did. Apparently, the parental environment will lay groundwork for the behavioral tendency of a child in the future.

Additionally, the media is the second to be blamed for criminal acts. Journalists are inclined to report something new to attract the reader's attention, regardless of violence. Teenagers who are exposed in the media coverage which is full of bloody death incidents easily go astray because of imitation of the violent behavior. Also, individuals are curious about the new things and commit crimes unconsciously as their curiosities may easily be taken advantage of.

In order to prevent the crime, parents, the media and the government should joint efforts together. Parents should afford a good environment for the growth of youngster. Proper guidance should be provided through daily activities. Further, Media press should pay more attention to the quality of their report and avoid excessive report the bloody news. When it comes to the government, the authority should advocate a harmony society with sharing and understanding among the citizens.

To conclude, the willingness of parents, the media and the government to address the crime problem will put it on the right track in finding solutions. I am sure that the increasing crime rate could be curbed through people's efforts.

Writing Feedback / (IELTS) Should all countries joint efforts to solve the environmental problems? [2]

Environmental problems are too big for individual countries and individual people to address. We have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The green house effect is changing the atmosphere of the Earth which poses a grave threat to the survival of human race. Such environmental problems are not the obligation for the individual countries, which calls for the awareness of every nation and every citizen because of the widespread of environmental problems and proper supervision which should be afforded by other countries.

Apparently, the environmental problems are not constrained in a single country where the problem took place. It is not uncommon that one problem happened would affect other countries. Take the BP oil spill for example, water pollution not only greatly dampen the fishing industry in Mexico, but also lower the consumption of fish in neighborhood. Further, biodiversity of animals are under threat because sea animals take the pollutant water as their water source.

In addition to the sweeping consequence brings by environmental problems, country has different interest target and take various measures to combat the existing problem. For the developing countries, the governments tend to give the priority to economic development at the expense of environment damage. In this situation, supervision from other nations are of importance as it could promote the country fulfill their obligation to address the global problems in environment.

Even though it may take more time to reach consensus among various countries, the willingness of joint efforts will put the problems in the right track in finding solution. A better plan will be complemented after several communication and cooperation among differing nations.

To conclude, environmental problems call for long-time coordination at an international stage due to the fact that individual countries are too weak to handle the huge problem.

Writing Feedback / (IELTS) protect animals, zoos should be banned? [2]

Many people think zoos that keep wild animals in a man-made environment should be no longer exist in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Children tend to visit zoos where various kinds of wild creatures could be seen. When it comes to whether zoos should exist on contemporary society, animal-right activists strongly recommended that wildlife belong to natural environment and zoos should be banned. I would not go along with their viewpoint as zoos have irreplaceable benefits in terms of animal preservation and children education.

There is no denying that our environment is damaged day by day due to the fact that excessive pursuit of economic development at expense of eco-system, which pose a great threat to the survival of wild animals. In contrast, zoo is a good alternative choice for protecting animals as various animals could be better protected by specialized staff. Once the animal got sick, professional vet will help them promptly. Thanks to the considerate care, the diversity of wild animal could be guaranteed.

Additionally, zoos afford a platform to education teenagers, helping to establish eco-friendly behavior towards animals. In the zoos, even though wild animals are caged, they have capability to walk in a limited area. When children pay a visit to the zoos, they still could observe the eating behavior or leisure activities among animals, which would definitely enrich their knowledge associated with different animals. Further, children could acquire the information regarding how to protect wild animals according to guided tour or volunteers.

On the other hand, complained about the drawbacks of zoos are often heard. It is true that some zoos are lack of systematic management which attributes to numerous wild animals die because of food shortage. Also, being caged in the zoos for long render wildlife lost the ability to survive in nature where is full of cruel competition among various animals.

In order to protect animals, from my perspective, zoos offer a good man-made environment which could prolong the life span of wild animals and cultivate the notion of protecting animals. What the zoos should do is improvement of the management system and use the income wisely in preserving wild animals better.

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What should be improved in structure or logic ?? Thanks~~

Writing Feedback / TELTS-- traditional ideas help teenagers for promising future? [2]

Old generation often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life, thinking and behavior. Most people argue that these ideas are not helpful for the young generations to prepare for their lives in the future. What is your opinion?

Thinking twice before action as well as paying more attention to words are some treasures in traditional thinking and behavior, being handed down from one generation to the other. Even though we can hear that some traditional ideals are blamed, from my own perspective, we still should follow some ideas which are useful for offspring.

Granted, many concepts of traditional values are no longer compatible with the contemporary society. People in traditional family tend to obey the rules blindly and lack individuality, which is the symbol of respect for the older generation. Therefore, youngsters may find themselves integrate into the society if they follow as none of companies would be admitted to the employees lack of innovation.

There is no denying that we fairly need the traditional thinking pattern of consideration for twice before action in recent decades. Much pressure have been shouldered in workers, young employees tend to take impulsive actions in order to handle the fierce competitions, which may be easily gone astray with criminal acts. If being taught of several considerations before taking actions, the wrong behaviors would be avoided.

Further, individual should pay more attention to the word they say in mutual communication. New generations must know that excessive quarrels with other colleagues may cause intensive relationships which is damaging to working efficiency. The old concept of speaking behavior is quite essential for fleshers to establish a humorous relationship in a company, helping the new employees cooperate with others well.

Although the negative side of some traditional concepts still exists, it does not mean that we should discard all and regard it as usefulness in young generations. Conversely, what we should do is absorbing the essence and discarding the drags. There are quite a few traditional values are of help for the growing of next generation.

Writing Feedback / IELTS --Use cultural heritage to develop international tourism, right or wrong? [4]

Some people think using cultural heritage to develop international tourism is wrong. Others think that is the only way to protect cultural heritage. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Cultural heritage is one of essential elements to boost international tourism. Therefore, as a symbol of cultural identity in a particular country, different countries advocate international cultural tourism in order to attract foreign visitors. Hearing some environmental activists concern about the negatives brought by international tourism, much worry arouse in my heart as well in terms of commercial sweeping and the damage of cultural heritage.

A large number of visitors travel for cultural heritage, which affords businessman a precious opportunity to develop commercial business, such as fast-food shop and coffee shop, around the cultural relics for high profits. Take the Great Wall for an example, foreigners tend to go in Starbuck near the Great Wall to relax when they are tired. Gradually, excessive commercial atmosphere in the Great Wall pose a great threat to culture protection as travelers carry the beverages with them when they travel and abandon them as they please.

Additionally, cultural heritage should be viewed as the proud of a country and protected by the whole world. Promoting the tourism of cultural heritage, however, may appeal to a variety of visitors whose behavior may damage the indigenous nature environment. Consequently, cultural heritage are destroyed by human trace and could not be called as relics any more.

On the other hand, preserving cultural heritage need a large sum of money which could be brought by international tourism. The more tourists visit, the more income the local government gets. Thus the cultural heritage could be better protected as more money will be allocated in preservation. Only if the cultural heritage maintain well, the local economy could gain a dramatic increase.

Cultural heritage, a piece of identity card of a country, is used for develop international tourism, which is definitely reasonable. But I argue that the emphasis on the protection of cultural relic is more significant.

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Trying to write 5 para. eaasy according to Ray's suggestion. Will it be better? Thands~~

Writing Feedback / "girls tend to learn arts while boys science" uni. accept equal numbers of students? [3]

Haven listened the advice of Introduction related to thesis statement and the length. Will this essay be better? THX~~

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. Do you agree or disagree?

Confronted the situation that girls tend to learn arts while boys choose sciences considerably, educators begin to concern about the imbalance of male and female graduates in each major. In order to control this phenomenon, a suggestion that the number of every college class should be the same in gender has been put forward. Personally, I do not think it is a feasible plan-for two reasons.

Scientific research has been proved that different gender has various personalities. In spite of several repetitions in identical work, female students could do patiently as usual. In contrast, males are fairly curious about everything around them, lacking perseverance to do the same thing. Therefore, dancing, for example, will be one of the most unwilling options among boys. If universities are required to have the same boys and girl through all subjects, the interest of learning would fade gradually as girls may be thought themselves as losers after being defeated several times by boys in physical or chemistry exams.

In addition, the human right is granted man and woman to have equal right to accept education. No matter which subject it is, girls and boys are eligible to choose and be accepted. From college perspective, the choice of each student should be respected, regardless of the number of males and females. Only when the university could be student-oriented, could the college be named as the platform to cultivate the talented.

Consequently, I take the view that universities could advocate the gender balance among majors, but should not implement rigidly and disobey the willingness of students.