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Posts by ana_p
Joined: Apr 26, 2012		 Last Post: Sep 29, 2012
Threads: 27
Posts: 81  

From: United States of America

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ana_p   
Sep 29, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"It is not possible to eliminate poverty" [3]

Yes, you are right, but at the end of each para, I have mentioned solution or my opinion, that poverty can be reduced, how and what should be done to reduced it. for ex. government could run some schemes. It means that, I am not agree with the given sentence.

Although, I agree with you, that it is a short description, because after reading your comment, I realized that, I have concentrated more on reasons of poverty, instead how it can be reduced. For correction, I could add more description of how poverty can be reduced.

And thanks for your review. I would change my topic sentence.

Ana.
ana_p   
Sep 28, 2012
Writing Feedback / Toefl Essay "Parents should let their children to make mistakes" [3]

Hi,

Nice essay, except few spelling mistakes. And it would be great, if you could increase your intro and conclusion para.

To my concept, learning from mistake is prosperous.
To begin with, I feel young persons (person only) can acquire responsibility which is merit experience arise from mistake. this critical manner is mandatory for children's future livelihood in society. Inevitably, great deal of truble in today's life occurs in order to neglect one's duty toward his or her own action. I my own experience, ( you could say from my own experience..) when my chid accept his false (mistakes), not only ashamed about his behavior, but also he think deeply about his inaccurate action.( I think, you could write this sentence like this way: He not only ashamed about his behavior, but also thinks deeply about his inaccurate action.. just a suggestion)

In addition,learning responsibility, people and particularly very young people can learn merit lessons via making mistake.?? I am sorry but, didn't understand what do you want to say exactly? To put it more simply, it is unlikely they commit mistake again, thanks to awareness which is achievement of wrong manner. Consider a driver, after doing speedy driving, undoubtedly he or she would be punished by officer on account of rules. Even assuming that this person neglect his or her crime, awareness toward speed and money payment toward crime is the least harvest.

Finally, dealing with mistake can reduce young's fear toward false. Whereas children are in first stept of their long way, inevitably fighting with struggles is unavoidable. Consequently, horror which came from facing possible mistake is much more fatal than own mistake; hence, trial and error in great spectrum of human daily chores is a inseparable parts of life.

To sum up, parents should prepare an appropriate atmosphere for their young and let them make mistake.

In addition, try to concentrate on your sentence structure. Use simple sentences. (again just a suggestion..)

Good Luck!!
Thanks,
Ana .
ana_p   
Sep 25, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"It is not possible to eliminate poverty" [3]

Hi,

Request you to please correct my essay.

Do you agree with the following statement?
It is not possible to eliminate poverty.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

:Poverty is a very big problem in developing countries. Poverty is one of the most important reasons of keeping developing country from being a developed country. Poverty can be caused by three most common reasons: Population, Illiteracy and Corruption. I believe that, poverty can be reduced, if these problems will be solved.

To begin with, first reason of poverty is population. Increasing population is a very big problem in most of the developing countries like China, India. Increase in population creates scares of basic needs like food, cloth and shelter, and this results poverty. So, if population will be in control, then poverty can be reduced from country. To reduce the population of the country, government should run some schemes or programs like family planning, which will help to create awareness about disadvantages of poverty.

Second most important reason of poverty is illiteracy. Most of the over populated countries have these problems of poverty and illiteracy. Poor people cannot fulfill their basic needs, then how could they think about education. They spend most of their time to fulfill their basic needs. They also send their children to work instead of school, because of lack of income. This increases illiteracy in the country. There are various schemes of free education which are run by government to reduce illiteracy, but these schemes cannot reach up to the needed people, because of corruption which is third reason of poverty.

Last but not the least, corruption plays very important role in increase in poverty. Corruption is nothing but cheating with public. There are many leaders, politicians and higher posts people are included in corruption. And because of this, rich people are becoming richer and poor are becoming poorer which results increase in poverty. So, corruption should be stop to eliminate poverty.

Finally, I do not agree with the statement that, it is not possible to eliminate poverty, because as stated above, population, illiteracy, and corruption are three important reasons, which could help to eliminate poverty.

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Aug 14, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Planning is better for free time activities OR not" [6]

Hi Jennifer,

Thanks for your reviews that was very helpful. And yes, this is a comparison essay, and I think, I need to consider other view also while writing such comparison essays. I will take care.

Thanks again.

Ana.
ana_p   
Aug 14, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'What do you do for good health?' - TOEFL essay [4]

Nowadays, (I think, people are very cautious about health from very past days.. its not nowadays thing...so better to start with other words.. just a suggestion) people recongized that health is an important thing that they need to increase intense awareness about. Propotionately improving the standard life, media communicates how vital the health bring to human's life regularly. In my country, people word-of-mouth that "health is more valuable than gold", this reveals health is more and more concerned. It's true to say that health gives to people rich of metal's and physical's life. Identifying the benefits of healthy life, people attempt to do many things which can help their more rich of health. For me, to keep myself is always in ready to do, I have been preparing many things that suit for my current conditions now . (I think, you should mentioned what are those things, in short in intro para.. then explain with examples in main body paras..)

Doing exercise daily is an action that I put it into the top of schedule. To make my body fitter and the spirit fresher in morning, I have made an agenda to jog and do gym at least 2 hours everyday. These activities are plain sports that I prefer doing. I just need to wear simple clothes with comfortable shoes, then I can start do these sports. It is excited sense when I finish jog around the park near my apartment, ( I don't think that there is need of these sentenses.. instead you can add how this helps you..?) I am energetic to ready to do everything.

Logically association between doing exercise and balance meals is a important thing I wary all time. I have read some culinary and heath magazines, they demostrated that diet and balance meals with kinds of food take 80% healthy decision yourself. In order to choose right foods for your body condition, your have to be conscious in shopping and cooking your own foods. Some of essential nutritions prevail on the morden life are protein, vitamins, minerals and so on. The best way I recommend you is need to update your health on many types of nutrition foods. ( I think, you should explain how this helps you..? instead of recommending others.. read question What do you do for good health? Use specific reasons and expamples to support your answer. )

In conclusion, each person has his own ways and your can find your own ways to keep yoursefl always in willing to do in your life with strong mental's and physical's health. Considering the important of health in social life, you actually take much time to take care your self like me.(... same as above please explain how it is helpful to you?)

Just a suggestion..

Good Luck!!

Thanks
Ana.
ana_p   
Aug 14, 2012
Writing Feedback / People's reason for quit the countryside is logical [7]

Hi,

I am little bit confuse about your posts... Can you please clear my confusion...?

I think, last essay you posted is different than the previous one, you posted two different essays on the same thread, if so, then please start new thread with different essay. If it is not like that then please clear my confusion.

In addition, I would like to suggest that, writing language is different than speaking, it seems that, you are writing your essay as you speak. (this is what I felt after reading your essay..) I think, you should read some other well written essays, that will help you to understand the sentence structures in written language. (I totally agree with Jennifer, try to concentrate on your sentence structures, make it short and clear.. just a suggestion..)

Hope this helps.
Good Luck!!

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Aug 14, 2012
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Eating at hove vs. eating out (my recommendation) [9]

Hi,

I think, you can add some more points to support your opinion such as:

1. It saves time, and we can utilize that time in some other important things such as, studying, reading, and in your hobbies etc.
2. I do not have to worry about grocery, cooking, and cleaning dishes...
3. Its good for students..

Hope this helps!!

Good luck!!

Thanks
Ana.
ana_p   
Aug 14, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay : The subject that you want to learn more about (economics) [7]

Hi,

I totally agree with all above comments. In addition, I think, you should explain more about economic in detail, and how this subject will help you in your future life. As, this is TOEFL essay and it should be in 300-350 words, so you can extend it by explaining more details. (just a suggestion..)

Also, I would like to thank you for sharing this essay, I like this subject, your ideas, and the way you arranged your essay. I will also write essay on this subject..:)

Good Luck!!

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 28, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Success in life: Risk or Planning" [8]

Thank you so much dear all especially deepakbaniya. I totally agree with you, we need to take good things to keep ourselves motivated and inspired. And yes, that (byliner) site is also a great site. I will keep working on my reading and writing. thanks again.

Regards,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 26, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"It is important to know about current events.." [4]

Hi,

Do you agree or disagree with the following sentence.
It is important to know about the events happening in the world, even though it is unlikely to affect your daily life.
Making ourselves aware about current news in the world is the need of an hour. World is changing very fast. It is necessary to know about the events happening in the world. This helps us to find out what is good and what is bad for us. Knowing about current news helps us in many ways.

Firstly, as a student, taking current news is the part of my study, because general knowledge is the common subject of many competitive exams, entrance exams, and interviews. We have to be familiar with all the events happening around us. It is not only help in our study, but also in our personal life. For example, technology has developed a lot and is developing day by day. Daily new advanced technologies are introduced by inventors. We must have knowledge about these new inventions. Computer and internet is the best invention of the century. Knowledge about these helps us in our day to day life. For example, if we want to buy a new laptop and we know which one is best and advanced then, we can decide quickly which one to buy.

In addition, competition has increased a lot and is increasing day by day. It is necessary to get ourselves updated to stand in today's competitive world. Keeping knowledge about current news helps us to avoid mistakes. For example, Newspaper, Online news and TV news inform us about Global Warming. We can take care after knowing the dangerous effects of Global Warning. Like this, there are many other news which we can take from news and protect ourselves from dangers.

Finally, it is not possible to take all news from all over the world in today's fast paced world, but we can take the important ones. No matter, that is going to effect on our life or not. We should take these for knowledge.

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 26, 2012
Student Talk / Can you teach me how to write and speak in English... [11]

We all are here to learn and improve our English. I would like to suggest that, "Try to write something and submit on the forum" such as, self introduction, goals in your life, hobbies etc. That will help you find your mistakes.

Good Luck!!

Thanks,

Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 26, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay," Is daily homework necessary..?" [3]

Hi,

Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

We all run away from homework. No one likes it, but I think it is necessary for students, because it teaches students to be a responsible person in their life. It also increases their confidence and interest in classroom activities. It helps students to understand quickly and perform well in classroom.

To begin with my first reason, homework teaches students to be a responsible person their life. If students complete their homework, then it shows their care and responsibility about studies. They learn to understand their responsibilities. They also learn to complete their work which is assigned to them instead of running away, which is very important for their career in future.

Secondly, homework helps students to increase their confidence and interest in classroom activities. For examples, a positive reply from teacher on homework done by student helps to motivate them. It increases their interest and they actively participate in classroom activities. This helps to develop their personality.

Thirdly, students learn to manage all their activities to complete the homework. They learn to take the proper use of time and do their work. This helps students to be disciplined in their life. Homework also helps students to understand quickly. For example, if a teacher gives homework of reading next chapter for the next class and students completed it by reading the next chapter, then it will help them to understand quickly because they already have read that chapter. They can easily ask questions and clear their problems. So, homework teaches students about time management and discipline.

Finally, I do agree with this that homework is boring, but it is essential to succeed in life. Homework allows students to review whatever they have learned in school on daily basis. This helps them to grasp quickly. So, everyday homework could play a vital role in student's life.

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 26, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Success in life: Risk or Planning" [8]

Thank you so much.

That was very useful. Sometimes, Its very hard to study alone, we cannot understand where we are..!! there is a need of guidance. That was really inspiring and motivating.

Thanks again!!

Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 25, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS population growth (let the governments decide if you can have children or not) [5]

Hi,

I like your essay, good reasons provided, but I think this is a very short essay. Try to work on following points which will help you to extend your essay:

1.Structure of essay. As you have given two ways in body para, you can divide that in two paras and then explain in detail. This will help you to clear your ideas.

2.In third para, red marked word (finally)mentions that your going to end here, but again you are adding one more para with your opinion. Try to avoid this.

Finally, media could have an important role in this issue. As people involved with newspapers, TV, advertisement and other kinds of program during the day, media could help people in this way. For example, a good film, created by a famous director about the population growth and its effects on our lives would attract and affect large number of people.

Personally I think that the most effective measure to deal with population growth is the role of governments, because they have a great responsibilities in this issue. Besides, experiments show that their rules could have the best results in reducing the birth rate.

Try to arrange your essay in a proper structure.

Good luck!!

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 25, 2012
Writing Feedback / IBT - Studying abroad studying abroad is rewarding, pros and cons [2]

Hi,

I like reasons you provided. Just try to work on below given points(just a suggestion):

Third body para, you can start like.. "It takes some time to adjust..." (then explain in detail how to adjust..)
Same way, try to start all your main body paras with main ideas and then explain in detail.
Good Luck!!

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 24, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"A person should never make an important decision alone" [3]

Hi,

A short TOEFL essay. Please correct me and help me by suggesting some more examples.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answers.

Decision making is a very difficult task whether that is in our professional life or in personal life. We have to think every point of view to make a right decision. Decision making is depends on the situations. Some important decisions in our life should always be taken after discussing with our parents or closed ones. This will helps us to take a correct decision.

To begin with my first reason for this opinion, decision made after discussing with our closed ones or parents broaden our areas to think. This will help us to find pros and cons. For example, if in our office, we are working in one project as a team, then in such situation, we have to consider everyone's point of view to make a correct decision which will help us to perform well. So, discussion before taking any important decision can help us save us from taking wrong decision.

On the other hand, some decisions in our life, we have to take it alone. For example, decision of getting married with someone, this decision should be made alone. The person who wants to get marry is the one who can better decide about this than others.

Finally, it is depends on situations. Sometimes we have to take our decision alone and sometimes we have to discuss it with whom we trust. Many times, decision made alone can be considered as poor or wrong. So, where ever it is necessary, we should try not to take our decision alone because that can help us to take a correct decision.

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 24, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'long-time measure' - should wealthy nations help poorer nations ? [2]

Hi,

I like your ideas, but try to explain it with examples.

and in this last para: In conclusion, personally I think that although ( it seems like you have used lots of words to start your conclusion, use only one of them... just a suggestion) wealthy countries should help poorer nations.

Please check with others also...:)

Good Luck!!

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 24, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Earth is being harmed by human activities OR not..? " [2]

Hi,

Some people believe that, Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Technological, Industrial, Scientific, Educational, and Transportation development made the Earth a better place to live, but it is also true that humans are the one who are damaging it by the activities which are disturbing nature causing environmental imbalances.

In early days, people's life was not as simple as today. Technological development made it possible to do many of human activities with the help of machines like computers. Internet and computers are the best technological development in the century. Development in science saves us from many dangerous diseases. Transportation development made it possible to move from one side of Earth to other. All these innovations and development by humans made the Earth a beautiful place to live.

On the other hand, humans are the one who are contributing to disturb the natural beauty on the Earth. Everywhere there are industries, complexes and buildings. Hardly, we can see open spaces and ground especially in Metropolitan cities. Nowadays, all small cities and towns are turning into big cities. These developments are good economically, but not environment point of view. Activities like destroying forests are removing greenery from the Earth. As a result, we can see the effects of Global warming. People are running after this economic development, but forgetting to protect environment which is harming the Earth.

Finally, human made the Earth a beautiful place to live, but they are only damaging it. Earth can be saved by taking care. If it will not be saved then, it can harm humans only. So, to save ourselves from dangerous effects of damages, we all need to protect the Earth.

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 24, 2012
Graduate / (rural management from IRMA) - why teach for india [7]

Hi,

1. Beginning of each sentence should be in a capital letter.
2. Please give blank space after each comma, question mark and completion of sentences.

Try to avoid these small mistakes. And, try to explain your ideas in detail such as, what is teach for India? Is this any movement of academy..? What do they work..? so that reader can understand. (..just a suggestion)

Be the change you want to see in the world, lines by gandhi inspires me and education is one area which will lead the change in the coming century.But does majority indian people have access to quality education? the answer is no.i (I always capital) want to change this and believe in the principle of tree. A tree starts with a seed and thens grows and bears fruits and seeds while lead to a forest.

Initially,i want to learn about the challenges faced by the education sector in educating masses practically working with teach for india which will help in learning the basics and also mastering them over a period of two years. it will be stepping stone towards my journey for leading india (India should be in capital) to a educational reform whats better than joing teach for india which has made a remarkable mark within few years of its journey. here there will people from whom i can learn and improve, take advices and put forward my opinions in a better way than the practical knowledege which is imaprted in the B schools.

i want to do an MBA in rural management from IRMA anand and start an educational movement in rural india where quality education is stilla dream for many.historically, many of the greatest scientiest and influncers have been from rural parts of india ,india is a great coutry with a powerfull resource still being unprocessed.if this is skillfully developed into a boon and not a bane on the resources it will one day lead india to much more productive and developed country while still holding its cultural diversity.

Good Luck!!

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 24, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay, "Can movies tell us about the country, where it is made...?" [3]

Hi,

Films can tell us a lot about the country where they were made. What have you learned about a country from watching its movies? Use specific examples and details to support your response.

Watching movies is one of the famous entertainment activities. Movies from Hollywood and Bollywood are famous all over the world. Movies made in a particular country can tell us about that country's custom and culture, language, arts and crafts, attractions, and about the development of that country. So, movie can provides knowledge about the country, where it is filmed.

To begin with my own example, before marriage I use to watch Bollywood movies only, but after some days I started watching Hollywood movies, because I knew that I had to move to another country after marriage. From Hollywood movies, I obtained the knowledge about customs and culture of the country. Language was the most important part which I learned from those movies. Earlier, I never understood English language, but now I can understand their accent and can also communicate with native people. They also asked me about my country, and are excited to know about my country. My suggestion has always been, to watch Bollywood movies to gain more knowledge about my country.

In addition, we can obtain knowledge about the different attractions and their importance in that country. Some movies are based on real stories from history. So, we get information about the history of that country. Sport is also another important part which we find in movies from that country. For example, I never knew about American football. I got knowledge about this game after watching movies. Hence, we can obtain information about the sports and history of the country by watching movies.

Finally, there are lots of things which we can learn from movies. Movies are the best option to obtain knowledge about that country, where it is made.

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 24, 2012
Writing Feedback / Rent a house vs buying a house essay [2]

Hi,

I am sure that (don't use words like this in essay, you can start by saying, "most of the people prefer to..." )most people can afford to rent a house

most people don't realise that renting a house can cost as much as buying a new one: I am not agree with this, as buying a house is a good investment whereas renting is waste of money. ( just a suggestion.. debate point of view.. if you feel bad I am sorry about that)

I am sure many people experienced moving to another city or a country and they were forced to live in a rented house , (Its a personal choice, but you can say that they can prefer to rent instead of buying a house to save money) because of lack of money or low paid job.

I think, you should concentrate on your sentence structure. Try to write simple sentences so that you can explain your ideas. (just a suggestion)

Hope this helps:)

Good Luck!!

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 24, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Success in life: Risk or Planning" [8]

Thanks for your feedback.

I will try to rewrite my essay and post again. I have some questions about the reasons I provided. I think, these are not strong enough. Can you please suggest me some other reasons or other ideas? I have my exam after two weeks. I am confused about my writing. I do not understand what to do at this stage...? These are lots of mistakes..:( please suggest me something so that I can score high in my exam.

Regards,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 24, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Planning is better for free time activities OR not" [6]

Thank you Jennifer..:)

Can you tel one more thing? Are these reasons strong enough to get the good marks OR Do I need to find some more strong reasons? Please tel me about the same so that I can work on it.

Thanks again.

Regards,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 23, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Planning is better for free time activities OR not" [6]

Hi,

Some people prefer to plan activities for their free time very carefully. Others choose not to make any plans at all for their free time. Compare the benefits of planning free-time activities with the benefits of not making plans. Which do you prefer - planning or not planning for your leisure time? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.

Free time is the time which everyone likes to spend by doing their favorite activities such as, playing, watching movies and hanging out with friends. Planning plays important role to manage your activities without wasting time. Some people like to plan for their activities while others do not. Planning is not only important for our professional life but also in our personal life.

To begin with my first reason, planning helps to utilize our full time without wasting it. I like to plan my each and every activity. It helps me to finish my activities without wasting my time. It gives satisfactions that I have done it according to plan. For example, I like to spend my free time in outdoor activities such as, biking, boating, and kayaking, and many others which are close to nature. These are our weekend activities which I plan and make full use of our weekend. Planning not only saves our time but also money.

Secondly, planning helps me to make my activities more enjoyable. For example, if I want to hang out with my friends on coming weekend, I can plan by finding a correct place and time, and then ask my friends. If everyone will ready then we can enjoy it together. On the other hand, if we go without planning then we might waste our time by running here and there. This will spoil our mood. So, planning is important to make your activities more enjoyable and it will also save our energy.

Finally, it is not possible to plan our activities every time, but we can learn to manage our time by handling such situations. Therefore, I would prefer to plan my activities to save my time, energy and money.

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 23, 2012
Writing Feedback / Consuming: People are never satisfied with what they have; Agree or disagree [3]

Hi,

Try to explain your ideas with examples. For example, starting of your third para, seems like unclear ideas.

I believe that life has some levels like games.I mean (don't use such words in essay) when people finish their school they join to business world from first level. (you can use words like phase of life ...) Time by time when they increase their status and income, they want to obtain unreachable things. This feels for some people that I am special. If I am special I should have private products. And try to concentrate on your sentence structures.

Just a suggestion but hope this helps..:)

Good Luck!!

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 23, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: A teacher's ability to relate well with students is more important than ... [4]

Hi,

I think, in such types of essays, you have to agree or disagree, then clarify your opinion with examples. You can compare but try to give preference to your view and write. One more thing I would like to suggest that, arrange your essay in proper structure such as intro para, main body para 1 or 2 or 3 (with reasons and examples) and last conclusion para. And try to write simple sentences to clear you ideas. Your ideas are not clear as Dumi said.. try to work on it...(..just a suggestion)

Hope this helps:)

Good Luck!!

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 23, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Success in life: Risk or Planning" [8]

Hi,

Please help me by checking my essay...thanks:)

Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Life is like a race and we all are running in that race to win. To win this race, running is important. If we do planning only and don't run then, that will not help us to win the race. By this way, careful action in any work in life is important, only planning cannot help to success in life. Proper planning with careful action can help us to success in life.

Firstly, taking risk can teach us new lessons in our life. This will give us new experience of learning new things, where we can find our strength and weaknesses. We can find our interest in that work or activity. This will help us to improve our skills and work on our weaknesses. This will not always results success but, failure is the first step to success so, we should learn to take risk in our life to find our strength and weaknesses

Secondly, taking risks can help us to find new ideas and opportunities in life. We can also make a profit by taking risks. For example, in share market, people take risk and carefully invest their money and luckily they earn profit out of that. Second example, while playing, many times players have to take risk to win the match, even if he knows that he could not do that moves. No matter, whether they win the match or not, but they will have satisfaction that they tried. So, failure could also be the result of risks, but that does not mean, we should stop taking risk and keep ourselves away from new ideas and opportunities.

Finally, not every time will get the time to think and plan, so by considering positive points of risk, I think, success comes by taking risks or chance.

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 18, 2012
Research Papers / (Essay research ideas) - the advantages of the Internet over Television? [4]

Hi,

Internet has many advantages, some of them are as follow:

1. Availability of vast information.
2. 24/7 access.
3. fastest mode of communication.

You can compare above points with TV by providing some examples.

Hope this helps:)

Good luck!!

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 18, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'mass media pays a lot of attention to public people's personal life' - toefl [3]

Hi,

I like your ideas, but I think you need to arrange your ideas in a proper format with correct sentence structure. Plus, your introduction, "There are two areas of life area: professional life and personal life". try to write it in alternative words. (..just suggestion)

Please check with other also..

Hope this helps:)

Good Luck!!

Thanks,
Ana
ana_p   
Jul 13, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Influence of information available on internet" [3]

Hi,

Can anyone suggest me some more strong ideas about this topic...? I am not satisfied with mine.

The widespread use of the internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world.

Internet plays a vital role in today's fast paced world. It has made available worldwide information at one place. In ancient days, we had to go to the places to take out or find out some information but, today internet made it simple for us. Information available on internet has a great influence in our lives.

Internet has vast information available from which we have to find a correct and useful data. I remember, my brother was about to take admission for his masters after completing his bachelor's degree. There were no particular program was available at his place so he was searching from internet only. Internet made him easy to take his decision because, he could find out all available options then compare and decide where to go. So, information on internet has an amazing effect on my brother's career.

In addition, internet has made long distances short. It's very easy to access anyone can use it by following some simple instructions. We can search any kind of information by using search engine like Google. Nowadays, most of the work can be done online such as online banking, online shopping etc. Last month my husband wanted to buy insurance but he was confused which one to buy then he took out information of various insurance companies from internet; compared rates with other companies and then choose one after checking reviews. All was possible because of the availability of information on internet. In today's modern world, it is the best method of searching correct items and services.

Finally, internet has both kind of positive and negative information available. We have to decide which information is accurate and essential for us.

Thanks,
Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 13, 2012
Essays / Gender Role in the new times - Essay start help [9]

Hi,

This is really very good topic to write essay. You can write it, just start your essay as Ahmad suggested. If still you are unable to, I would like to suggest you that read some other essay on forum so that you can get some ideas about how to write introduction.

Hope this helps:)

Good Luck!!

Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 13, 2012
Writing Feedback / A POSİTİVE OUTLOOK and people's lives [3]

Hi,

I like your ideas but I think you need to improve your sentence structure which can help you to mention your ideas more clearly plus lots of spelling mistakes.

Many people believe that some events in human life can take place by means of thinking power.Thinking about the affairs in a positive or negative scope undoubtly influences the steps of happenings somehow.All people in the world have some difficulties sometimes.During this unexpected situations, the positive view of thinking of an individual can help them to halt these difficulties easily an also it is influential in terms of health an relationships.

Firstly,the basic key of being successful in coping with difficulties is having a positive outlook.People who have positive way of thinkig see teh positive sides of events and maintain his/her life istead of giving up.She/he may has a traffic accident and lose her leg but she can be happy for still being alive .A positive outlook can be a source of happiness for us.

Secondly,the positive view of thinking have a fundemental place in health branches.It is a fact that many diseases such as cancer can be cured by positive thinking since it situmulessomme hormones which are required for cure.

Thirdly,having a positive way of thinking alsa essential in relationships of people.A negative outlook can bring about misunderstanding and we may hurt our friends or families.

In conclusion a positive outlook is has a significant place in people's lives.Thinking in a positive way keeps us healthy and it is benefical to deal witg problems that we face in daily life.Another effect of having a positive outlook is that it is an integral part of relationships.

Hope this helps:)

Good Luck!!

Ana.
ana_p   
Jul 13, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"It was easy in past to identify career or job" [2]

Hi,

I am submitting this essay after a long time please help me by checking and correcting this essay. Thanks.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It was easier for people in the past to identify which type of career or job has a secure or successful future.
Use specific reasons and examples for your opinion.

Finding good job is a very difficult task in today's competitive world. This is because industrialization, privatization and globalization. In early days, there were limited options, people used to prefer jobs like government jobs or home business which are secure and spend their whole life by doing that jobs. So, it was simple in the past to choose our career.

Nowadays, Industrialization has brought drastic changes in job market. Increasing industries helped in the economic development of the country which has changed social life of people. Technological innovation has also brought a lot of changes in industrialization. All these changes have opened various opportunities for people so they started moving towards these new opportunities.

Privatization is another important factor which has made competition more strong. Privatization is nothing but the converting public sector into private sector. I remember, after completing graduation my family forced me to do government job only because most of my family members are in public sector and they think that public sector has a secure career but, I wanted to enter in private sector because private sector has more money and opportunities. In early days, when there was no privatization people did not have choices but, now they have and therefore they are turning from public sector to private sector.

In addition, globalization has made possible to connect with world. People started trading, communicating and exchanging products and services globally. This has opened new more opportunities on international level. So, people started moving overseas for such great opportunities. However, before all these, people could not even think to move from one city to another. It was difficult for them but, nowadays development in transportation has made it possible to move overseas.

Finally, competition has raised a lot and also increasing day by day. Sometimes, people cannot identify their career in this competitive world and get confused. Industrialization, privatization and globalization have made these competitions more strong so as compared to today's life it was really easy in the past to identify our career.

Thanks,
Ana.

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