Writing Feedback / (IELTS essay) It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media [3]

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Please I need brief correction on my essay, and band score if possible! Thanks in advance!

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.

Nowadays the mass media is getting one of the important thing in our everyday life, it is growing respectively. In fact, it has a lot of pros and cons. In my opinion, the advantages are overweight the drawbacks of it.

First of all, there are many types of media such as TV, the Internet, newspaper, magazines and radio that have a raft of positive sides. For example, the internet which is making people easy to communicate with each other and is making easy to find out any needed information. Moreover, the most common sort of media which is in use daily is television. Indeed, every people utilize TV in any order and it makes the locals be aware of the national and international ongoing news and programs. Secondly, by the influence of mass media in society, people are becoming more aware of other nations' culture and lifestyle. Furthermore, it also affects to the economy of the government because mass media offers an influx of money.

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of living in a media-rich community. For instance, some of the producers of newspapers and magazines are printing anti-social information which can affect to our overview. The increase in the sphere of media, by the way, cause some information to be unreliable especially on the internet and newspapers. Moreover, by the improvement of international media many other cultures and countries which differ with each other suffer from decrease of their own traditional value, it may cause the escape of the national habits and values.

In conclusion, I want to reiterate that media has much more importance on our lives, especially, such a modernizing world. And it is clear that people should use mass media in a positive way.

Writing Feedback / (IELTS essay)Topic- in some countries young people have little leisure time... [4]

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please can you check this essay, thanks in advance!!!!!! RESPECT!!!!

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies.
What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In fact, the youth in some nations are face lack of free time and are forced to work hard on their studies. I believe that there are two main reasons of it, one is the pressure of parents and the other is a university place competition.

First of all, it is obvious that every parents want to see her/his child to be an educated person, do well at school and go on to have a proper career in the future. That is why, parents put a lot of pressure on their children, consequently, children lack leisure time in their early childhood. For example, where i live parents even take their children to special tutors. As a result of this, children might have a limited free time and the pressure on them is considerable.

Secondly, nowadays it is getting difficult to manage a place from a university, especially, for teenagers. Because there are many times more applicants to universities than there are university places, each year. consequently, the youth try to spend all their time to study hard in order to enter a university. Moreover, it also causes to depression and stress of an applicant during applying for a university.

In my opinion, in order to overcome such problems, firstly, we should be more attentive to our children's time. Secondly, parents have to be aware of the effects that pressure causes to young people such as anxiety, nervous and stress. Thirdly, governments should create new university places for young appliers.

To sum up, I want to say that young people should be taught how to control their leisure and study time with the aid of parents and teachers.

Writing Feedback / 'acceptable solutions for global village' - IELTS-Globalisation [5]

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Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.
Globalization is becoming a commonly used term in twentieth century. Because of globalization many things are adjusting and the world is becoming combined economically, socially and politically through the assistance of technology and communication. Some people argue that globalization has a fundamentally beneficial influence on our lives, while others believe that it has a lot of bad effects on us.

Firstly, since the globalization is occurring, it has contributed to the world's economy with the beneficial ways, especially, the changes which happened in technology have allowed businesses to easily cross the boundaries. Consequently, companies and factories are paying attention to generate goods which has a great quality.

Secondly, many companies from globalizers have already organized to establish economical, social, political and cultural communication with non-globalizers. In my opinion, these kinds of businesses can provide more influx of money into the less developed nations.

However, no-one can deny the bad effects which have derived from globalization. For instance, nowadays, a lot of cities are reconstructing and new buildings and workplaces are constructing instead the locals houses. From this a lot of inhabitants are moving other places or staying without house. A number of old houses which situated in the centre or which near to the main road are demolishing so that build new apartments or new supermarkets.

To sum up, I want to reiterate that globalization is inevitable and we should hope from individuals and governments to approach acceptable solutions for matters which are related to globalization.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-people who have original ideas... (scientists and innovators) [2]

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People who have original ideas are of much greater value to society than those who are simply able to copy the ideas of others well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

I certainly agree with people who come up with new concepts. In other words, I think, those who have an ability of invent or discover new things are very pivotal to society as a whole. However, I also think there are some advantages of good imitators. Copying the ideas or new material which are invented by inventors or scientists is not good job, but, in my opinion, if it is useful for the locals then we need to copy it.

The first thing I would like to mention is that no-one can that inventors and discovers must be thanked for providing us with acceptable items that we utilize every day. For example, without basic items such as the washing machine, the television and more recently the computers we cannot imagine our life.

On the other hand, nowadays, the world we live in has become alarmingly oriented for consumers. Today, a lot of basic things are becoming constantly up-to-dated and improved. However, not everyone can buy them because of the price of these innovations. Moreover, not everyone lives in lands where have accessibility to the up-market items. That is why, it is more preferable to copy expensive materials to cheaper ones.

It is valuable to add that certain innovations such as medical drugs have a serious impact on our lives rather than consumer goods. In my opinion, it cannot easily be replicated. For instance, vital medicine drugs such as penicillin and drugs against dangerous disease also invented by people with making great efforts to develop them.

To sum up, I would like to say that scientists and innovators work extremely hard to make comfortable life for us. Furthermore, if people copy their ideas it helps them to get enough benefits.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-international media and cultural diversity..... [2]

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When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programmes) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity. What is your opinion?

As globalization booming day by day, the term of media is also increasing significantly. The growing popularity and sustainability of some international media programs such as movies, fashion shows, diverse TV programs and advertisements is posing worldwide concern and causing to redaction of cultural value and diversity, also transformation of the locals' way of life. In my view, improving transnational media has many drawbacks in cultural diversity and cultural globalization.

First of all, it is visible that international media includes a raft of giant companies which dominating across the world. For instance, Time Warner, Universal and Walt Disney. From my point of view, they control approximately half of the media market and put cultural environment at risk. The dwindling in the number of national media will pose a depletion of the variety and interesting programs such as traditional songs and movies. By this historical value of traditions and cultures of people will disappear.

Second of all, the loss of national diversity is also cause to the locals' ways of life and cultural globalization. Thus, the improving of global entertainment is affecting the locals by reflecting on the beliefs, lifestyle and norm of ordinary people in varied nations. For example, in some countries many people now imitating other lands' lifestyle by obeying their habits or wearing clothes like them. Even some people adjusting their religion.

In conclusion, I want to recapitulate that all these changes are the cause of international movies, TV shows, music, newspapers and advertisements. The local people should avoid mass transnational media in order to make a stable cultural diversity.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-drug use in children (parents should be more attentive to their children) [2]

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People in all modern societies use drugs, today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse.

Indeed, nowadays, the consumption of drugs is alarming day by day, especially, among teenagers. The youth drug consumption is a serious issue in many nations. From my point of view, not only the use of illegal drug increasing but also children who as young as 10 years old are experimenting with cigarettes and alcohol. The reason for this behavior is setting wrong upbringing by elders.

The first thing I would like to say is that stepping up of consumption drugs and alcohol can affect the young. In my opinion, it is impossible to imagine a healthy future while the locals abusing drugs. It has a huge amount of effects on people. For example, it can damage our brain cells, lungs and skin. From the contamination of skin it becomes skin cancer. The skin cancer is one of the most fatal disaster in human life, especially, when youth abuse drugs, they may get older quickly than their teens.

The effects of drug abuse are well-known. Furthermore, many young people's talents are wasted and also addiction to hard drug consumption may cost a life of user. One of the sensible way to solve this problem to educate people about the dangers of drug utilize, and stick at building reduce of these sorts of disasters up.

Moreover, today's birth rate is declining all around the world because of drugs. In my opinion, governments should protect people from disasters or dangers like these. Carrying out like these protections societies should accept new laws which forbid consumption of drugs, alcohol and tobacco. Perhaps these laws should be obeyed and respected by the locals.

Analyzing the aforementioned information I want to recapitulate that parents should be more attentive to their children because the upbringing which is given in childhood can affect to their future life.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-children in wealthy and poor families.... [5]

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The children who grow up in a family short of money are more capable of dealing with problems in adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Indeed, one of the most influential element in children's personal development is family background. Obviously, some people believe that the children who grow up in an impoverished family are less likely to solve issues which face them during adolescence while others think that the adults who are nurtured by an affluent family have many more opportunities to solve troubles during their teenage years.

In my opinion, individual's problem-solving ability comes from the knowledge which is obtained during his or her adolescence. In fact, children from poor families face problems during their education. The reason for this is sometimes parents do not want to give their children to reputable schools because of indigent family income. Moreover, some parents order to their children to earn money from an early age. Because of their destitute knowledge, they do not have ability to solve difficulties.

On the other hand, children who highly-educated and affluent are more likely to find solution to their problems. In my view, they are not only better off economically but also they can easily take access from others. It is true that if we compare well-off adults with impoverished children, children from wealthy family have a lot of chances in problem-solving. In a nutshell, they are at an advantage in harass-solving.

To sum up, I want to mention that children who from an affluent family can also attend social meetings, parties freely, and, there they improve their life skills and social contact. In addition I would like to add extra point that parents need provide their children with needed things.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-travel, increase tension... [2]

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Increasing travels between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries?

Indeed, nowadays, globalization is a general term for every country all around the world and refers to any activity that involves more than one nation, for example, travel from one country to another is escalating and getting one of the pivotal source of nations' development. Some people think that improving travels between countries giving access people to learn different lands' traditions and cultures while others believe that it provides rising tension among people from different nations.

The first thing I would like to mention is that learning about others culture, lifestyle and language is a real chance of building life experience up. During travel to other lands understanding a culture has other implications. For example, differences in social background, religious belief and cultural values sometimes make people feel uncomfortable in that country. In my opinion, it should not be solved with tension or conflict. The locals should respect tourists as well as tourists should.

On the other hand, as I aforementioned, the conflict which is occurring between tourists and the local people getting one of the worse issue facing countries. Visitors sometimes repel the local community and sometimes damage host country's environment when they arrive first time. In my opinion, it should not be taken into account as offense because most events like these occur accidentally, perhaps it is not intentional.

To sum up, I want to reiterate that analyzing information above, we can observe that the international travel should not be counted as a cause of conflict. Instead, individual should comprehend that it is a role of improving mutual following between two countries.

Writing Feedback / IELTS- factors for teenagers to commit a crime [5]

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Resent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As globalization booming, the bad effects of it also increasing. For example, committing crime among the youth. The statistics show an increase in teenage crime, especially who are under the age of 18. Most psychologists believe that getting insufficient social and emotional learning which needed for children from parents and teachers is one of the main reason for violent crime.

From my point of view, nowadays the amount of crime which committed by teenagers is rising significantly. For instance, burglary, killing people, stealing car or money. In fact, many children are so rebellious now and it makes difficult to exercise them. I completely agree that a lack of social and emotional learning contribute to the problem, also there are other factors which surely proved: economic status, for example. If a teenager comes from a poor family and they live in low-quality housing, this is confirmed to affect the child and he\she is more likely to commit a crime.

Moreover, I believe that friendship between teenagers have more influence on them than their parents and teachers. At that age, people want to be a part of a group or even a gang when they are in their teens this might led to breaking law in a number of ways. In my opinion, parents and teachers should give them more useful activities to carry out and make them on the go.

In conclusion, while I concur with the statement above, I also think that it is not the only factor. There are many things which can be one of the basic factors for teenagers to commit a crime.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-Overpopulation - What problems can it cause and what are the possible solutions [NEW]

thanks everybody. sorry, let me know band score by the way.

Overpopulation. What problems does overpopulation cause? Suggest at least one possible solution.

In most nations of the world the population is increasing alarmingly. This is especially in poor and undeveloped countries. It causes an immense amount of troubles. For example, in these countries the unemployment increase very rapidly, and in some poor lands people cannot feed themselves.

An increase in population simply makes situation worse. Indeed, in poor countries it is difficult to live. If the population explosion continuous, many more people will die of starvation in this states. Moreover, there is one thing should be solved is finding accommodations for living. As a consequence of overpopulation, poor countries people living in the streets because of homelessness.

On the other hand, there is one another problem of overpopulation. It is unemployment. Nowadays, the overpopulation and unemployment are increasing in the same rate. Moreover, there is usually a great deal of crime which is often due to high rate of unemployment. As a result of unemployment, people making overcrowding and crime. In fact, nowadays, India's and Chine's population are in the vanguard. There are a lot of unemployment.

In my opinion, every country which is facing overpopulation should penalize families financially who have more than one child. This may be possible solution for like these problems. For instance, Chine's government organized new type of fine for couples who have more than a child.

To sum up, besides, the environment also suffers when there are too many population in the country. So, if the increasing of overpopulation continues in this rate, an immense amount of people will die from starvation and homelessness in poor nations, and even in rich lands living will become increasingly difficult.

Writing Feedback / Cities become unpleasent places.... [NEW]

It is an IELTS essay. I need more comments. thank you in advance!!!

Many cities have become less pleasant places to live in recent years. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In the past people could go to travel, live or work everywhere they wanted, unfortunately, nowadays some country's cities getting worse. People are frightening to go there for traveling or for dwelling. there are some problems which should be solved in order to improve cities' condition.

In my opinion, the first problem is air pollution in the cities. Nowadays, there are an immense of cars and factories which can produce the smog in the cities. It can cause to people in very high level. For example, they can aggravate bronchitis and may even cause cancer. Some people suffer from breathing or other health problems. Elderly people do not feel safe in their homes. So that is why, people are not going to live or move to the metropolises.

To solve this trouble we have to reduce waste disposals, driving cars, producing less chemicals and industries which are released the worst one. For instance, when coal is burnt in power stations to give electricity, it produces two major gases which cause acid rain.

The second one is unfriendliness which is the worst habit in our life. When people move to like this place, they feel lonely and some strange. Neighbors do not speak to each other or do not help each other. It is too boring live like these places. In my view, everyone should be more attentive to each other. For example, if your neighbor is new there where you live, you have to help them concentrate on to this place.

To sum up, all countries should be more attentive to their cities. They need to create new places for people who are arriving there and build new houses for people who are moving there.

Writing Feedback / Go out to work (both parents have to work nowadays) [12]

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence. Discuss.

Today, it is getting much more prominent to go abroad to work for both parents. If we look at past times, we can see many families, which consisted of a father who went out to work and a mother who stayed at home and looked after the children. However, it is much more different today and many families think that it is important for both parents to go out to work. This circumstance can affect children both positively and negatively.

Some people believe that children whose both parents go out to work have more access in their everyday life. Because, their parents are able to afford more things such as new clothes, up to dated computers and mobile phones and video games. Moreover, most people think that children can enjoy and get experience from life because of their parents' wealth. For instance, they are able to go abroad on holidays.

On the other hand, there are people who claim that children who are in position like this less likely to get enough support and attention, this means they may not to carry out as well at study. Because there is no one who can provide with support such as to do homework or revision. Furthermore, less attention of parents can make it easier for children to adapt such things as drugs and early alcohol drinking.

To sum up, I think no-one can deny that both parents have to work nowadays. In addition, it is also important to make time for children, and then children will not suffer in any way.