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Posts by ernhy
Name: ernhy aliyah
Joined: Mar 26, 2014
Last Post: Apr 21, 2014
Threads: 17
Posts: 28  

From: makassar
School: kampung jnggris

Displayed posts: 45 / page 1 of 2
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ernhy   
Apr 21, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Education in Australia [2]

The tables show survey about education in Australia between 1997 and 2005. And then, there are two tables show subjects for student in 2002.

In general, all tables showed data about student and subject education.

The first table showed count of students per lecturer during eight years, from 1997 to 2005. The highest totally students were in 2005 with 19,6% students per lecturer. It was contrast in 1997, there were about 15,5 students per lecturer. However, we can see in the table, during eight years totally students per lecturer rose steadily.

In the second table illustrated three subjects from lecturer to students in 2002. There were Mathematics, Physics, and Chemistry. Chemistry was lecturer based subject most popular in 2002 about 17,4 %students. It was different with others. Mathematics was about 15,4% more less than Physics about 16,6% students.

The last table was almost same as the second table, it was only different in subject. In that table we can see that history was the highest subject for students practiced subject. It was about 13,2% students, different of others. Art about 12,3 % fewer than Geographic about 12,5%.

To sum up, education in Australia increased during eight years where in 2002 Chemistry and History.




ernhy   
Apr 19, 2014
Writing Feedback / Ielts: Bricks manufacturing process from clay [2]

The picture shows how clay can process to become bricks and then they can sell to society.

Generally, bricks have many processes before they are selt to people.

Firstly, the company take clay from earth, it uses digger to make easier and faster to get clay. After that, clay must be enter to metal grid to roller then it mixes with sand and water before it happens product.

Secondly, this step is a long process. Brick must be enter in drying oven about two days, after that brick mast be enter again into cooling chamber about three days with temperature from 870˚C to 1300˚C. After this long process, bricks can be packaging and company can delivery to society.

Overall, it can be concluded that making bricks is very difficult. It needs long time.




ernhy   
Apr 19, 2014
Writing Feedback / Ielts: Life cycle of frog - from eggs to adult frog [2]

The picture shows how frog can grow with process that people call life cycle of a frog.

In general, frogs can live in water and land. So, we can make two groups how life cycle of frogs.

Firstly, frogs can spend much time in their life in water because frogs are special animal. They can breathe in the water. Their childhood from eggs to tadpole until tadpole has front legs break through, they must life in the water because they do not have foot. So, they use tail to swim in the water.

Secondly, when frogs start pulmary breathing until adult frog, they can go to land because they already to start their journey in the land. They have foot to walk and to find food in the land.

To sum up, life cycle of a frog is started from many steps, from eggs to adult frog they undergo many changes.




ernhy   
Apr 18, 2014
Writing Feedback / Ielts: apple is canned; 'there are many processes' [4]

The diagram shows processing an apple can manufacture much money.

In general, there are two ways to process an apple become interesting product.

As the graph illustrates the process starts from hand picking where apple is taken by farmer and then they sell to company. The company buys apples from farmer, after that the company washes apples, choose according to quality, and the last process before canning is grading.

At the canning process, the first manner company does peeling and corning where apples opened by worker. Next processing is canning, sealing, cooking, and labeling to care apples quality. The company must ensure that apples in a good equality after that they will dispatch apple canned for sale.

To sum up, there are many processes that company must do if they want to sale apples. However, from this processing company can get much money.




ernhy   
Apr 13, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: The map of Pellington city; new hypermart, near Hampford town. [2]

The map shows drawing of Pellington town. The government of this area plans a new hypermart. This hypermart will be placed in three choice areas.

The first possible location is in the central of city. This location is very busy because there are industrial and residential areas where near traffic free zone and park. However, only train can only allow this located because there is only railway.

The second possible area is totally different with the first one. This location is too far from center city. This location does not have population because there is no people live in there. It is really similar with the third possible area.

In conclusion, the first possible area is more recommended because it is the city central and this location near from Hampford town.




ernhy   
Apr 13, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1; Cinema attendance in the UK [9]

persentation of age group in five yaers .

years

the line graph shows percentageof each age of british in every year who attend the cinema.

ernhy   
Apr 13, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: The map of Brandfield city - new shopping mall [4]

The map shows a drawing of Brandfield city. The governments of this town plan a new shopping mall. This mall will be placed in two choice areas.

In general, both of two areas are crossed by road and railway.

The first possible location stands in three lane transportations which is river, road, and railway. This location is very busy because it is location around housing state and city centre. However, train, bus, car, and ship are arrowed to catch this area. This area can allowed industry because people can use ship to go there.

The second possible area is really contrasted with the first one. It is located in south east of the town. This location near from industry but so far from central city.

In conclusion, the first possible area is more recommended because that place which is in around the city central has a large golf course and park. As a result, this area will be more interesting when it is built.




ernhy   
Apr 12, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1; The map about Garlsdon City. [4]

The map explains about the town of Garlsdon. Government in there has planned to build a new supermarket. This supermarket has two possible locations.

In generally, Garlsdon has three cities which are Hindon, Bransdon, and Cransdon. Garlsdon has 65.000 populations.
The first possible location in country side or suburb. This area located in 12 km to Hindon with 10.000 populations. A new supermarket will be stands between railways and main roads and industry area too. This located can be allowed by car, bus, and train.

The second possible located is more different with first one. This located will be building in town center with industry and housing near from that area. This area can be allowed by car, train, and bus because there are main roads and railway.

Overall, it can be concluded that the second possible location is more recommended to build a new supermarket. This area will be crowed because people from Bransdon and Gransdon can be easy to access that supermarket.




ernhy   
Apr 11, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTSTask1: Music choice VS Pop parade music [7]

The chart indicates a survey about compared two kinds of new music on internet as long as fifteen days period that people visit. These are music choice and pop parade music with approximately 180.000 respondents.

Starting from music choices at the 1st day until 11th days, music choice fluctuated from 40.000 to 20.000 people that visiting the web, and the next day music choice rose sharply attained 120.000 people but in the end day period its declined dramatically until 40% or 70.000 people visit this web. On other line, we can see pop parade at 1st day until 9th day declined dramatically from 120.000 go down 40.000 people and pop parade rose steadily to 150.000 people until 11th day then fell back slightly in 13th to 80.000 people and the end day period, it was rose steadily to 170.000 people visit this web.

Overall, it can be concluded trend shows fluctuation with slight increased towards the end of the period.




ernhy   
Apr 10, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTSTASK1:illiteracy rates by region and by gender; 2%, 12% and 20% rate [2]

The chart describes that estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. There are six country, Developed Countries, Latin America or Caribbean, East Asia or Oceania, Sub-Saharan Africa, Arab States, and South Asia.

In the chart, that shows male illiteracy in 6 areas. The lowest rates were in Developed Countries, Latin America, and East Java with rates of approximately 1%, 10%, and 8% respectively. The rates for three areas were much higher than three areas before. It is quite similar to each other. Sub-Saharan Africa, Arab States, and South Asia had rates of approximately 31%, 29%, and 34%.

Female illiteracy was much higher relatively in each area except Latin America/Caribbean where it was only slightly higher. The lowest rates for female illiteracy were again Developed Countries, Latin America/Caribbean and East Asia/Oceania with rates of approximately 2%, 12% and 20%. Again the rates for the next three areas were much higher and quite similar to each other. Sub-Saharan Africa, the Arab States and South Asia had rates of approximately 48%, 52% and 56%.

Overall, it can be concluded female illiteracy at year 2000 in six country have among more big than man illiteracy.




ernhy   
Apr 5, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2; Students VS Homework - unnecessary encumbrance [5]

Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework it necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Undoubtedly, in this development world, education is the best way to increase knowledge because teaching has connected with success. Parents should give their children the best future time included to prepare education for them. The best way to parents for improve skill their children is input their children to school. In the school, students get many lessons from teachers. Some teachers assume they must give homework every day for students. It is because, homework can help pupil to understand an exercise in the school. Other teachers only give homework to students for several days in a week to improve memory their students. I think teacher should give students homework just for several days in a week. I will explain my reason about it.

Homework can help students to increase their knowledge beside lesson in the school. Numerous teachers give homework every day, this assume has advantages. Such as, in several course English, tutors give many jobs about writing, speaking, conversation, and memories because many lessons can students recall very fast if they always do it every day. In 1982, there is Samuel A. King who makes research about how brain can work is a Psychologist. He said brain can easy to remember anything that people always do every day. However, students need break from homework because they are not machine.

In several countries, governments admonish schools to give homework naturally. It shows that some people do not agree if teacher assign homework every day to students. Teacher must guide their children to understand many lessons. It is because teacher has responsible to their students. Such as, many jobs can make students lazy to go to school therefore they feel scared.

In my view, I think that daily homework only give away encumbrance for students. Teachers should observe their students directly.

In conclusion, teachers can do many ways to increase knowledge students. But, I think the best way is give their students attention.
ernhy   
Apr 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS; 'I can't think too quiet' - Making important decision alone. [7]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.As society, people cannot life alone, they need others person to help them in many aspect. Some of people prefer to agree that human can decide their life, can do everything, and no need everyone. However, other people prefer to disagree, they believe that human was created to do everything together. I think that both of these choices have advantages and disadvantages. I will explain some reasons to support my answer.

Personally, sometimes I cannot make decision without ask to my best friend. So, my choice is always between agree and disagree to make decision alone. Firstly, I would like to say that making decision need to hard think. It helps people can get success, and be prudent. It means can decrease stress and impassive. Secondly, sometimes if I have problem I cannot think to quiet. I just need my friend to talk about my business. So, one of reasons why I cannot make decision alone it is because I know my friend will help me to forget my trouble.

Actually, I see some positive aspects when people want to make decision alone. Firstly, sometimes I can think clearly. It does not mean I always right. Sometimes I just use my heart and my feeling to make resolution. I want to have responsible to my life. So, for me it is a good reason to make solution alone. Such as, I want to buy some food but I do not how the taste is it. If I ask my friend, it is too long. So, I use my feeling to buy it. Secondly, the decision makes you a better person because you can finish your challenge.

In summary, I think that it is not important how you make decision. What important is that must make you better and grown up.
ernhy   
Apr 2, 2014
Writing Feedback / Large shopping center in your neighborhood; 'it can increase province income' [7]

It has recently been announced that a large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Today, there are many developments we can see in a big city and it is understandable that these changes have affected the city system and society in my town. Is this a good plan or a bad plan?

In the past, people in my neighborhood must go far away if they want to shop or buy something that they cannot get in their town. However, construction has changed this, and now people might not to go to distant. These buildings can increase province income and attractive to tourist.

Unfortunately, the speed of development has interesting to investor. This is because investor only want to invest their money that make they will get many advantages. For example, in my town have many development because numerous investor are invest their money.

However, city system change is not necessarily a bad adjustment. Capital city may be move because development that more and more grown. It does not matter too much to find capital city. Nonetheless, society must follow the changes because it is make their live becomes easy.

In short, I think development can increase many things in one district and we can enjoy the change also we get many advantages from it.
ernhy   
Apr 2, 2014
Writing Feedback / 'Internet is helping humankind for getting information important from corner of the world' [15]

Firstly, I hold that the internet gives us many benefits. Many persons can be able to access traveling, news, business, journal, lesson books, etc. Others benefit if we gain information about scholarship, we can search in the internet.

Firstly, I hold that the internet gives us many benefits. Many persons can be able to official for getting information. Otherwise, many students can communicate with supervisor in overseas, if they want to continue study in abroad.

ernhy   
Apr 2, 2014
Writing Feedback / Budget control; it is better to enjoy your money than you save your money? [5]

I'm preparing for Ielts. Please give a feedback for this essay;

Question: Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Some people use their salary to enjoy their life. That is true statement. However, other people prefer to choose save their money than to spend it. It can be true that people need bail money for future time but difficult to save all salary. So, they need several ways to manage their income.

Firstly, people must control their expending. To be prudent is does not means stingy. In one side, all of living cost everyday always increases. And other side, to get a job is difficult. For example, price from a toothbrush is only Rp. 2500, but now it is Rp. 4000.

Secondly, people must buy things that they need. It is because sometimes people prefer to buy things that they want than they need. Each person always has a bad habit to spend wealth. For instance, shopping makes people lose to use their money.

In summary, some people need several manners to manage their money just to save or enjoy money not good measure. People must control their expanding and must buy things that they need not they want.
ernhy   
Apr 1, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: CHALLENGE - some people are attracted to dangerous sports/ activities [5]

Hello friends..
I am newcomer in IELTS. Could you read my essay and give me some feedback, please?
Thank's before.. :)

Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sport or other dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people interesting to do something new that different from before, as well as in the sport or other activities. In other side, people scared. But, some people still want to do dangerous sport or dangerous activities with several reasons.

First, they want to get satisfied. As we know people never feel enough, if they just do the same activities everyday. They try to make a new activity or combination activities to make them satisfied. For example, people who work everyday go to the office use motorcycle. One day, they felt bored and try to use bicycle or car.

Secondly, they want to get a new challenge. People never grown if they scared to take a challenge because a big challenge from people is their selves. Actually, people can do anything that they want. Such as, you want to climb mountain. You never do it before but you make yourselves to be brave carry out for climb it.

In conclusion, some people believe that new activities can improve their capability. There are reasons why people want to do dangerous sport or dangerous activities, they want to get satisfied and they want to get a new challenge. Some people never feel enough, so they will take a challenge.
ernhy   
Mar 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / Travel within a group with guide? 'we do not enjoy the traveling, can't go everywhere' [8]

Hi, I am wondering if people can give me some starting points on writing this.

The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. As we know, travel was become a favorite hobby and there are many way to do it. For some people, they think to travel in a group led by tour guide more good than alone. I agree with statement, travel is in a group more enjoy than alone. But, maybe some people in other place do not have same argument. They may have reason why they do not like to travel in a group by a tour guide.

Travel was become needs for living, many people can do travel. I think travel is a recreation when we were bored to do activity every day. Nowadays, many people are work just for travel. They save their salary and then they will do traveling. If we do not have friend to travel together maybe we can go traveling in a group led by a tour guide. I ever do traveling in a group led by tour guide, traveling with a tour guide is more enjoyable. We can visit a new place that we do not know before. Traveling with group make you are meet a new friend.

Even though, there are still people enjoy to travel alone. They think to travel in a group make their time tossed out. To travel with many people make we are not enjoy the traveling. We are not go everywhere because we are have a group. When we want to go other place but they do not to go, that is make disturb our traveling.

In conclusion, actually everyone has separate way to do what they want. Now, there are many way to do traveling. Alone or with a group it depends on you. Everyone has each comfort to everything.
ernhy   
Mar 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / Technology become Culture - big effect to our lives [7]

However if modern technology is creating a single world culture will give several effect to our lives.

Oh brother, i think you must put "comma" after However. :)

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