abdasyari93
Sep 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Nadia Lopez: Why open a school? To close a prison [2]
Hello @mdamanhuri77, i got some advice for your writing
1. When Nadia Lopez openedschool , Mott Hall Bridges (...) purpose: Open school to Close prison. >> When Nadia Lopez opened a/the school , Mott Hall (...) straightforward purposein order to close prison.
2. I think, She has a coarageous idea. The location of ... >> I think, she has a courageous idea. Located in Brooklyn, the school is in one of the most slum areas in New York city.
3. However, now, at 98 per cent graduation rate and be going to several of the most competitivehigh scholls in New York City. >> However, now, at 98 percentof graduation rate becomesseveral competitive high schools in New York City.
Hello @mdamanhuri77, i got some advice for your writing
1. When Nadia Lopez openedschool , Mott Hall Bridges (...) purpose: Open school to Close prison. >> When Nadia Lopez opened a/the school , Mott Hall (...) straightforward purposein order to close prison.
2. I think, She has a coarageous idea. The location of ... >> I think, she has a courageous idea. Located in Brooklyn, the school is in one of the most slum areas in New York city.
3. However, now, at 98 per cent graduation rate and be going to several of the most competitivehigh scholls in New York City. >> However, now, at 98 percentof graduation rate becomesseveral competitive high schools in New York City.