Holt Educational Consultant
Oct 24, 2017
Writing Feedback / Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? [6]
Behzab did you provide the complete and original prompt for our consideration? Somehow, the prompt feels like it is a short version of the long original prompt. Always provide us with the long version of the original prompt because that is the best way that we can assess and assist you with the development of your writing skills. Right now, I can see that you have a good grasp of the topic provided for the discussion but you are not really well versed enough to realize the intricacies of the essay topic. That is why you made a crucial mistake in your second paragraph.
You discussed the progression of an illness and how it affects people when what you should have been discussing is the benefit of progressive scientific discoveries in the pursuit of a cure for the illness. The illness is bad, the result of the progressive study about the virus, is good. So that is not the right example to use in this essay. You could have just used the third paragraph as your second paragraph and had a better result for your overall score.
Remember, as long as you write a minimum of 4 paragraphs, properly developed and related to the discussion, you will receive a pretty decent overall score. When you write more with one paragraph misdirected, you adversely affect your final score as well. Always be careful and consider what the prompt is asking you really write about before you even begin to draft the essay.
Behzab did you provide the complete and original prompt for our consideration? Somehow, the prompt feels like it is a short version of the long original prompt. Always provide us with the long version of the original prompt because that is the best way that we can assess and assist you with the development of your writing skills. Right now, I can see that you have a good grasp of the topic provided for the discussion but you are not really well versed enough to realize the intricacies of the essay topic. That is why you made a crucial mistake in your second paragraph.
You discussed the progression of an illness and how it affects people when what you should have been discussing is the benefit of progressive scientific discoveries in the pursuit of a cure for the illness. The illness is bad, the result of the progressive study about the virus, is good. So that is not the right example to use in this essay. You could have just used the third paragraph as your second paragraph and had a better result for your overall score.
Remember, as long as you write a minimum of 4 paragraphs, properly developed and related to the discussion, you will receive a pretty decent overall score. When you write more with one paragraph misdirected, you adversely affect your final score as well. Always be careful and consider what the prompt is asking you really write about before you even begin to draft the essay.