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Lafayette Supp - Describe an academic or creative interest or accomplishment

3 - Mathematics has always been a subject that I loved.(You can delete that sentence, it "tells" without "showing", and is...

UndergraduateBlessedHands23 - Dec 29, 2009bioarch - Dec 30, 2009
Charity Work, Informal Essay Attempt - Thoughts about fatherhood

2 - The first thing we can't deny is that we all have animalistic instincts. These instincts of course affect the...

UndergraduateMeteora - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
MIT admission essay- difficult situation

2 - Wow. A very impressive essay. Written metaphorically, I don't know if that really fits your essay, but it's unique....

Undergraduateanagaby17 - Dec 29, 2009determinedgirl - Dec 29, 2009
My selection of Major and Why. JHU's essay, Also Cornell's essay.

4 - I confess to being a habitual explorer. Frequently, my analysis yields a discovery which... It is even...

UndergraduateDevataa - Dec 29, 2009EF_Susan - Jan 13, 2010
Common App Essay: Achievement/Significant experience- fixing my boat

2 - I really like your use of imagery, it makes me feel like I'm right there with you! But maybe...

Undergraduategeorgekon - Dec 29, 2009alphacat92 - Dec 29, 2009
Multiple national and international awarded mathematical -Admission Resume

4 - it is too long and try to connect it with your career/profession...

LettersSimonaB - Dec 29, 2009chitown31 - Jan 9, 2010
duke supplement essay: discuss why duke is a good match for you

3 - This does not quite work, because you don't give a reason why you would think it's a bad...

Undergraduateginny2345 - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Mar 8, 2010
Essay for Harvard, Yale, Stanford - What impression do you get? Is it arrogant?

14 - Hi Roraig, I edited your essay a couple of posts back. I realized the link was dead. Here is...

UndergraduateRHDFinney - Dec 29, 2009autogunny - Dec 30, 2009
Common App Essay- Saturday Afternoon

6 - I liked you essay! It was simple, yet very nice and meaningful. I think it should be prompt 3....

Undergraduatemedelman2010 - Dec 29, 2009poisonivy - Dec 31, 2009
"untouched from pain" - Poem for NYU

4 - it sounds a little weak and fluffy but I love the bird in the oak tree part, but when...

Poetrymarkoni1 - Dec 29, 2009fuschiafleur - Dec 29, 2009
POVERTY IS A BAD SITUATION

2 - If you say "poverty is a bad situation," it is a statement of the obvious. It is too obvious....

Undergraduatejumoke - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Jan 7, 2010
Supplement - Massachusetts College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences

3 - a sudden rush of excitement, feeling like a mad scientist, who just discovered something new in the world of...

Undergraduatesincerelyydavid - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Jan 7, 2010
"Some Issues that are of importance to me"

6 - So sorry for not replying before. I hope you haven't sent it yet I would delete the paragraph....

Undergraduatesharma92 - Dec 29, 2009jampamz - Dec 31, 2009
"Serenity" - my favorite word - UVa essay

2 - Because its unregularly use? I don't think until that moment you have say a single reason? Often...

Undergraduatetacotime - Dec 29, 2009hern255 - Dec 30, 2009
metaphor for feeling out of control

7 - if you want to go with the idea that you couldnt move due to fear or what ever i...

Grammar, Usageredsox34 - Dec 29, 2009collegehelp - Jan 3, 2010
How I First Learned About Bowdoin

4 - Ha ha, sorry that happened to you! Use key words when you are so limited in the number of...

Undergraduatepmurray62 - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Jan 7, 2010
A dream of programmer; Carnegie Mellon - major & why CMU?

NEW - Q: "Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s),...

UndergraduateBryan - Dec 29, 2009 -
essay about my passion for music and how it has influenced me as a person

2 - Although singing in front of others sent a pure sense of... From a very early age, I wanted...

Undergraduateruthbayasmin - Dec 29, 2009EF_Susan - Dec 30, 2009
Gates Scholarship-An Unfair Experience

4 - You should conclude by emphasizing what the experience says about you, as in you believe in being fair and...

Scholarshipakil71192 - Dec 29, 2009badromance - Jan 7, 2010
Common Application Essay: My Father and his Influence

2 - Hey there! :D Overall I thought it was a good essay. A little generic yes, but you pull it...

Undergraduateliu007 - Dec 29, 2009paranormale - Dec 29, 2009
UPenn - (page 217) grammar?

7 - Its pretty good. I think you praised the university, without sounding silly. Also can you use lush to describe...

Undergraduateluminousx - Dec 29, 2009AbhijeetS - Dec 30, 2009
Syracuse- influence, work, and experience

6 - well good luck to both of us :) maybe we'll see each other there!...

Undergraduateangie127 - Dec 29, 2009angie127 - Dec 29, 2009
My sister teaching me how to read - Princeton Supplement

4 - I can definitely relate to this- My sister taught me to read too! mind, who I thought about...

Undergraduatecarbonation - Dec 29, 2009keilinger - Jan 6, 2010
Common Application Main Essay: Call me bro (topic of my choice)

3 - Throughout my life I have been exposed to the loud, short-tempered man that was my father. -----or maybe you...

Undergraduategmonkey16 - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
NYU - Additional Statement

5 - Alright gotcha - do you think then that it might be a good idea to explain why I switched...

Undergraduatelekha - Dec 29, 2009lekha - Dec 29, 2009
Why Yale? short answer - Balance in everything

6 - Your short answer is well written. However, I have to agree with gumdrop 41, it doesn't sound personal for...

Undergraduatepoisonivy - Dec 29, 2009caligirl23 - Dec 29, 2009
Common App Essay- Trying to be different but need advice on it

2 - i am kinda tired of looking your essay and it has too much negative view oh well, you are...

Undergraduatelizrose92 - Dec 29, 2009erinhcho - Dec 29, 2009
In 2050 a movie is made about you...NYU Supplement Prompt!

3 - You have great ideas! A minor change however: With minimum amount of work and a good pay check...

Undergraduatekat_1314 - Dec 29, 2009spacerelay - Dec 29, 2009
Improve the phrase about perplexity

5 - hey thanks i was actually writing on how the interest in jigsaw puzzles has grown with age but...

Grammar, Usageumulbaneen - Dec 29, 2009umulbaneen - Jan 6, 2010
Rochester Supplement Essay- How I will contribute to Rochester.

3 - Yes, too short. However, I find these remedies to be ineffective against in comparison with pharmaceuticals. Despite...

Undergraduatesaadishtiaq - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
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