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|Theran And His Problem, and activity writing
5 - This paragraph above is full of information, and information is not so inspiring to the reader. This part is...
UndergraduateZayniac - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|'study human evolutionary genetics' - UPENN PROF and WHY PENN ESSAYS
4 - Since I was eight, when I learned about the anatomy of the human body, I have been intrigued by...
Undergraduateac10 - Dec 30, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|Science/Math Program; Contribution
Undergraduatecoffeemania923 - Dec 29, 2008 / coffeemania923 - Dec 30, 2008
|"Wild goose father"; TUFTS- "Let your life speak"
5 - Sure, it was intended to be funny but I, who was supposed to begiving half the speech, probably should...
Undergraduatezowzow - Dec 30, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|'A city girl in Chinese culture' - BU supplement- why boston university?
2 - There is no other university that has over seventy international programs other than BU. BU has a spectacular...
Undergraduatenyczxgemii - Dec 30, 2008 / shayonsaleh - Dec 30, 2008
|University of Rochester Supplement 2 (many different points of view)
Undergraduatempatel246 - Dec 29, 2008 / mpatel246 - Dec 30, 2008
|'the BBB Society Professor of the Year' - UPENN professor short answer
6 - Concentrating in neuroscience while majoring in biology in my undergraduate years, will grant me the resources needed to better...
Undergraduatemad3na90 - Dec 30, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|Claremont Mckenna: leadership essay
2 - This is why I chose Dr. Donald Ainslie Henderson (1928-), epidemiologist and physician. This sentence is unclear,(above) I...
Undergraduateshahindian2009 - Dec 30, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|UMich Setback Essay (alcoholism addiction problem)
10 - I love your essay tofu. It's simply amazing, and very engaging. I couldn't remove my eyes from the page!...
Undergraduatetofu - Dec 29, 2008 / amy - Dec 30, 2008
|UW Activity Log
2 - Being in this club has taught me a lot; I've learned how to start an organization, plan and organize...
Undergraduatex soundclash - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|Why BU? (the opportunity for the students)
Undergraduatex soundclash - Dec 21, 2008 / lattent - Dec 30, 2008
|"My passion in economics" - Cornell CALS
2 - Throughout your essay, it's pretty well done. But I think you need to rewrite a few sentences to make...
UndergraduateTootley - Dec 30, 2008 / Angela629 - Dec 30, 2008
|Commonapp short answer, activity (I was in the pool)
UndergraduateBliss - Dec 29, 2008 / Bliss - Dec 30, 2008
|Common Application-Personal Essay-(Essay of your choice)
3 - This is a good essay, but I don't think your focusing enough on yourself. It's your personal statement and...
UndergraduateMimiroselilly25 - Dec 29, 2008 / FFtoMay1 - Dec 30, 2008
|Uni. of Rochester Supplement, the picture puzzle
3 - I think you need a specific example of how you are independent and how you have perseverance, if that...
Undergraduatekimku91 - Dec 29, 2008 / piggytails626 - Dec 30, 2008
|just a quick question about admission essay formats
9 - I think you should double space it since the essay is uploaded. If you are copying and pasting it...
Undergraduatepencil - Dec 30, 2008 / yasin391 - Dec 30, 2008
|NYU Supplement (trait+New York City)
Undergraduatelrnsmith09 - Dec 19, 2008 / lrnsmith09 - Dec 30, 2008
|'human civilizations' - My JHU Supplement essay-why do you want to choose this major?
Undergraduatebaubau - Dec 23, 2008 / baubau - Dec 30, 2008
|common app essay - Robert Fulghum's essay
4 - Okay, in that case I think you answered the prompt. Here are some corrections for you. "Although the...
Undergraduateac10 - Dec 30, 2008 / n00bl3t - Dec 30, 2008
|Common App - "Cliff Solving"; being an assistant teacher to a third grade class
Undergraduaten00bl3t - Dec 29, 2008 / n00bl3t - Dec 30, 2008
|Art isn't merely a hobby to me; Why do I want to attend Pratt?
Undergraduatechiknugget - Dec 30, 2008 / EF_Constance - Dec 30, 2008
|NYU short answer, 4 prompts; 'My father has a big nose, and I got it from him'
2 - The first one is good, it shows your personality and that your proud of who you are. you could...
UndergraduateJSFlash - Dec 30, 2008 / erika14 - Dec 30, 2008
|Comm. app. short essay; "Sub! Sub!" my coach screamed impatiently at the referee
12 - Yea, cutting down will be a challenge. Thanks for your encouragment. I'm glad you got the message, otherwise, I...
Undergraduateamy - Dec 29, 2008 / amy - Dec 30, 2008
|YALE supplement essay. Critique welcome.
Undergraduatekorchagina - Dec 30, 2008 / FFtoMay1 - Dec 30, 2008
|Individuality, Notre Dame Supplement
3 - I think your essay is organized well but like Gloria said, try to involve your perspective with how you...
Undergraduatesreekar - Oct 26, 2008 / bananazzz - Dec 30, 2008
|Univ of Virginia Supplement- a piece of artwork that has suprised me
2 - There have been many works of art by famous artists that have surprised me, but I was surprised by...
Undergraduatenouri - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|NYU Personal Statements (6 questions and answers)
Undergraduatebrood910 - Dec 29, 2008 / brood910 - Dec 30, 2008
|'international background and teachings' - UPenn Professor Essay
6 - Throughout my childhood and early academic studies, I have developed a strong affinity towards learning about history and how...
Undergraduateparadox - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|commonapp essay, "everyone has a different mountain" - review
Undergraduatearh - Dec 29, 2008 / guyver - Dec 30, 2008
|'Lego blocks / Carnegie Project / Electrical Tech' - Brown Engineering Supplement
6 - Yes, that is correct about "sought." I can't find much room for improvement here; you write very clearly....
Undergraduatedsacks - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|Yet ANOTHER UPENN Professor question (the extinction of a language)
3 - I agree with zowzow; that sentence is a bit awkward, but the response is strong, and your passion is...
Undergraduatekorchagina - Dec 30, 2008 / amy - Dec 30, 2008
|Common app essay + short answer (The journey to authentic leaderships)
UndergraduateLinaVu - Dec 21, 2008 / Bliss - Dec 30, 2008
|Priceton Supp Essay ("Some questions cannot be answered")
Undergraduateilikefood - Dec 29, 2008 / ilikefood - Dec 30, 2008
|Brown Essay "What is an academic experience, project, class or book that h"
Undergraduatehbinjo - Dec 29, 2008 / hbinjo - Dec 30, 2008
|Common App Short -- first job
UndergraduateFFtoMay1 - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|COMMON APP ESSAY- PERSONAL STATEMENT: Lebanon country
3 - "Isn't Lebanon where terrorists live? Doesn't everyone wear headscarves? Does everyone ride camels because it's in the desert?" ...
Undergraduatenouri - Dec 29, 2008 / n00bl3t - Dec 30, 2008
|UMich Diversity (Short Essay, my Korean-style lunch)
5 - Nice essay, it may be a simple example but I think you got the point through. sometimes cheesy isn't...
Undergraduatetofu - Dec 29, 2008 / n00bl3t - Dec 30, 2008
|Revise, set back eassy, the relationship with host family
3 - an American family offered me a place to live. In this family, there are mother and father, and their...
Undergraduatehanson3566 - Dec 29, 2008 / hanson3566 - Dec 30, 2008
|Eating pizza with a pair of chopsticks; culture difference, personal interest
22 - Fortunally I really want to go to Georgia tech and I haven't sent that yet alone with few other...
Undergraduatehanson3566 - Dec 26, 2008 / hanson3566 - Dec 30, 2008
|Penn long essay - What makes you a good match for Penn?
5 - Wow. Your essay is awesome. You really conveyed why the University of Pennsylvania was right for you. I really...
Undergraduateeiiia - Dec 23, 2008 / amy - Dec 30, 2008
|A few essays (Michigan, Cornell, USC) - waiting for directions
4 - Thanks for your feedback! The Michigan essay is only 250 words maximum though, but I'll try......
UndergraduateA346 - Dec 30, 2008 / A346 - Dec 30, 2008
|Common App Main Essay ("I am a man of ideas.")
5 - The Hero, the Outcast, the Star-crossed Lovers, the Orphan, the Shrew: these storybook stereotypes, these pieces of humanity --...
UndergraduateJustJoshinbyJ - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|"Describe the world you come from..." MIT's Essay B Option
Undergraduatepyroboy - Dec 23, 2008 / redevil147 - Dec 30, 2008
|Bowdoin supplement - change the world
5 - Okay so here is the essay I edited with your help. Is it better now? Flow, sentence structure, grammer,...
Undergraduatedebaterchick09 - Dec 29, 2008 / debaterchick09 - Dec 30, 2008
|Common Apps Essay (two very different worlds: US and Korea)
8 - "together, however, the wall between me and the other kids collapsed." You used here a wrong linker, you...
Undergraduatebrood910 - Dec 29, 2008 / guyver - Dec 30, 2008
|long tiring walk to the restaurant / tried numerous types of sports - which essay should be used?
Undergraduateakashnegi - Dec 26, 2008 / akashnegi - Dec 30, 2008
|Princeton two summers [is my writing style is okay?]
UndergraduateJoanne_an - Dec 29, 2008 / Joanne_an - Dec 30, 2008
|'Optimism and project preparation' - Essay to univ. of illinois-
2 - well, it would look better if you combine the second and the third sentence to avoid repeating "we had...
Undergraduatekeyurjain21 - Dec 30, 2008 / kim1234 - Dec 30, 2008
|NYU short essays - "to join Gallotone Records"
Undergraduatewongxy - Dec 22, 2008 / wongxy - Dec 30, 2008
|Common App Essay - Too Boring?!
7 - no ..i guess its a general convention used by all the students ...make the essay into --'Cause and effect...
UndergraduatePoliChick - Dec 26, 2008 / keyurjain21 - Dec 30, 2008
|'IB News Station and Newspaper Club' - Personal or Academic Interests
Undergraduateseatoy - Dec 21, 2008 / seatoy - Dec 30, 2008
|'aspirations of being a lawyer' - This is a free write admission essay for Bethune
Undergraduatejanaylloyd09 - Dec 9, 2008 / Sofia - Dec 30, 2008
|Why Penn? (because of Warren Buffett)
Undergraduateapm - Dec 30, 2008 / apm - Dec 30, 2008
|Influential Novel (academic exprience essay)
Undergraduatedsacks - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|**A Blocky Youth** University of Chicago Free Choice Essay: Should I or Shouldn't I?
UndergraduateChaosbass - Dec 27, 2008 / Chaosbass - Dec 30, 2008
|Rochester Supplement -What makes it good for me?
5 - A good university feeds the curiosity of its students , has excellent educational facilities, and a diverse environment. ...
Undergraduatempatel246 - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|Lehigh (grammar + structure)
4 - By the end of my junior year of High school when I began to research diverse universities, I found...
UndergraduateVeggy - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|Father-Daughter relationships have always been complex; Essay on my father.
7 - I think it would be a much stronger essay if you stated your perspective more expressively. Definitely, build upon...
UndergraduateWinnay - Dec 24, 2007 / yee - Dec 30, 2008
|Columbia short response (Rigorous, diversified, and accessible)
4 - Rigorous, diversified, and accessible are some of the many appealing aspects of Columbia that attract me. Looking at...
Undergraduateyasin391 - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|Personal statement; Perspective - its definition still lacked meaning. That soon changed.
4 - As we stopped at the first time at a traffic light, a young girl no more than six-years-old climbed...
UndergraduateHiroShima11 - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
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