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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 478)

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Critic my "Education" essay

3 - It can be used to advance oneself to a successful career; many college students are doing just that, but...

Writing Feedbackbluek7 - Feb 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 19, 2009
How many money was spend on different forms of entertainment over a five - year period.

3 - thanks a lot... I am so appreciate...

Writing Feedbackpamfan0810 - Feb 17, 2009 / pamfan0810 - Feb 19, 2009
wording problems in a paragraph

6 - I originally meant to write "not get what I want," and have edited my original post to reflect that....

Writing FeedbackNoob in writing - Feb 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 18, 2009
"Where is my Desktop screen?"

4 - Good work!I just wish I could write like you....

Writing Feedbackjameslihaochi - Feb 14, 2009 / melat - Feb 18, 2009
We should discuss the balance of the life quality and the powerful tourism

7 - thanks...this website is really amazing...

Writing Feedbackpamfan0810 - Feb 15, 2009 / pamfan0810 - Feb 17, 2009
Essay: Who is more important in the family? Mother or Father?

7 - Man, this was a nice essay. I really felt in tone with some of the stuff you wrote. Keep...

Writing Feedbackceberus - Feb 11, 2009 / GHouse - Feb 17, 2009
English Class -- persuasive essay -- School Uniforms

3 - Hey, now! You can have an upbeat attitude while wearing your soccer uniform,or any other uniform associated with...

Writing Feedbackdrasagon - Feb 16, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 17, 2009
Thesis Statement About Things I Like

4 - This site is an excellent resource. The mods always give great advice....

Writing FeedbackGHouse - Feb 16, 2009 / arbennett - Feb 17, 2009
Essay On Comparisons of Trials and Their Respective Jury Proceedings

4 - If you are going to use 12 Angry Men as the text, you need to find a trial where...

Writing FeedbackSeanMasih - Feb 12, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 17, 2009
Honours Social Work (privilege, power)

5 - I will discuss the P.C.S levels of power drawn on by Foucault's interpretation of power together with an understanding......

Writing Feedbacknaomi - Feb 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 16, 2009
"I was running" essay. Grammar and punctuation help.

7 - thanks akern, really good advice. :)...

Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Feb 11, 2009 / newsha31 - Feb 15, 2009
Geo Project - Vehicles in the Lower Mainland

3 - Hi Pedro, The conclusion should be tell how this all adds up. After you researched the work that...

Writing Feedbackvipao - Feb 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 15, 2009
PERSONAL ESSAY what books and reading mean to me

5 - Knowing I will soon enter into the life of a University student -- if I get accepted, that is...

Writing Feedbackhannahkim91 - Feb 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 13, 2009
Living a simple but meaningful life is a lifestyle which you must choose.

7 - Thank you. I did make many revisons and changed the thesis around. I restrcured the essay and narrowed my...

Writing Feedbackjasonmuraira - Feb 10, 2009 / jasonmuraira - Feb 12, 2009
The first time i crossed the road by myself

5 - ... and for a six year old ice cream is not something to just let go of. The sun...

Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Feb 11, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 12, 2009
Essay on describing a scene in my life (that last time i saw my friends)

7 - For the hundredth time on that night my hand slipped down into my purse;... My heart calmed, although...

Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Feb 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 12, 2009
Essay on empty space; I live a fast paced life

6 - If I went outside of my room, their laid the television... change to: there laid the television... ...

Writing Feedbackfitz1901 - Jan 29, 2009 / SeanMasih - Feb 12, 2009
Essay: A Crab in the Sand

5 - I loved this essay. You do a fantastic job of letting the reader know what exactly was going on....

Writing FeedbackJoey11235 - Feb 11, 2009 / SeanMasih - Feb 12, 2009
Short Essay on Modern day televison watching.

5 - YES! That is a great way to explain it: Find the way your points are interconnected, and the transitions,...

Writing Feedbackakern - Feb 9, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 10, 2009
All About Me, A COMPILATION OF MY THOUGHTS

4 - Thank you Sean and Kevin! Yes it is a bit difficult to critique an "about me" paper. But...

Writing FeedbackSeanMasih - Feb 9, 2009 / SeanMasih - Feb 10, 2009
If criminals have punishments that are not severe enough, it may encourage people to commit crimes

7 - hi thanks a lot...I rewrite this...it might be closer my opinion I find out my logic sometimes very strange...

Writing Feedbackpamfan0810 - Feb 6, 2009 / pamfan0810 - Feb 10, 2009
Essay on theories as to why one might be service orientated and others not.

2 - You might want to discuss what you mean by service-oriented a bit more. For instance, would you consider someone...

Writing Feedbackjenfkb - Feb 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 10, 2009
Kouzes and Posner's practices within a leadership event.

3 - The essay seems on-topic to me. If the "five main practices" you mention in the intro have sub-steps, as...

Writing Feedbackharperme - Feb 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 10, 2009
Supposedly we, young people, are no longer interested in religion, and thus losing belief in God.

5 - To stay on topic, you might want to deal with the issue of belief. People who really believe in...

Writing Feedbackceberus - Feb 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 10, 2009
"The Great Gatsby is seen in two ways" - Help with Essay Writing -

10 - Hello! If someone pastes material from other websites, it causes problems for us and can possibly lead to...

Writing Feedbacksara213 - Oct 9, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Feb 9, 2009
Education Through My Eyes

4 - Thank you very much for your replies. They have really helped me a lot. Thanks Again....

Writing Feedbackmllaury - Feb 3, 2009 / mllaury - Feb 9, 2009
Domestic Abuse (persuasive essay)

3 - Wow, Sean gives really excellent feedback. To me, and perhaps to other readers, this is a valuable piece of...

Writing FeedbackTiffiny9880 - Feb 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 6, 2009
How does Singapore compete with emerging markets in attracting FDI

2 - Singapore has an open and export-oriented economy It is unwise to plan FDI strategy without taking trade into...

Writing Feedbackultraman365 - Feb 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 5, 2009
Grammar check for AOI paper (political struggles in history)

3 - Overall a good job. Some minor fixes, in addition to Kevin's: "In addition to that I have traveled...

Writing FeedbackTaka014 - Feb 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 3, 2009
TOEFL: 'the things are simple' - Childhood is the happiest time of people's life

3 - You may want to add more depth to your essay by considering the different types of childhood a person...

Writing Feedbackpope4e - Feb 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 3, 2009
Teachers should encourage their students to question everything - essay

5 - EF_Kevin, thanks for your corrections, they are very useful to me....

Writing Feedbackdragon - Feb 2, 2009 / dragon - Feb 3, 2009
Essay About Malcolm X

3 - After the collection of a great number of words, he had no problem understanding books, and thus he began...

Writing Feedbackmingbaau - Feb 1, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 2, 2009
USC Cinematic Arts Essay (Emotionally Intense Moment)

5 - Thank Kevin! The help is much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it....

Writing FeedbackZagayer - Jan 29, 2009 / Zagayer - Jan 31, 2009
College Dropout Rates - vause & Effect Essay in 3rd person, need direction

5 - ""She had spent countless hours filling out admissions and scholarship applications, talked about all the details of campus and...

Writing FeedbackDenise - Jan 30, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 31, 2009
Introductory Paragraph: Mary Shelley and Frankenstein

6 - I would suggest starting with something more specific, instead of a general statement about personal triumphs and tragedy. Of...

Writing FeedbackInnocuity - Jan 28, 2009 / Zagayer - Jan 29, 2009
Essay on different customs between the US and Korea

3 - Sean is right, this is a list of cultural differences. I know you aren't finished with it, but what...

Writing FeedbackDayna - Jan 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 27, 2009
Feedback on the "Sound and the Fury" Passage analysis

6 - Oh, thanks for that. Yes i tried to make the sentence introduce the subject of having Dilsey being mislead...

Writing Feedbackjvmoose - Jan 27, 2009 / jvmoose - Jan 27, 2009
"Living Through Death" - Jimmy; personal essay

4 - Thanks for the feedback! I feel a lot better about submitting it as my final draft....

Writing Feedbackcleanconscience - Jan 26, 2009 / cleanconscience - Jan 27, 2009
1984 / Modern Day surveillane proposal, but im an art student

4 - Your essay is a promising first draft of how the modern world contains Orwellian elements. It has nothing to...

Writing Feedbackliamg87 - Jan 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 26, 2009
Tragic Hero in "Antigone" by Sophoceles- essay feedback

7 - The two parts of the prompt don't need separate paragraphs. The answer to (1) is "Creon." The answer to...

Writing Feedbackluckystar - Jan 18, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 26, 2009
""At present you need to live the question" -help with any grammar mistakes

5 - thanks hopefully it gets me in. :]...

Writing Feedbackjkigwe - Jan 25, 2009 / jkigwe - Jan 26, 2009
About edgar allen poe essay

11 - Shock and sophistication is a mixture that can so easily be either loved or loathed, but the point is...

Writing Feedbacknotmysuitcase - Jan 9, 2009 / silverystars - Jan 26, 2009
Essay Analysis of a Photograph

3 - I'm simply revisiting this thread to say a belated thanks for the help that I received. :)...

Writing Feedbacksilverystars - Oct 17, 2007 / silverystars - Jan 26, 2009
review - Position(s) of responsibility you have held

5 - On the last sentence, I would emphasize your point like this: It also gave me a great level...

Writing Feedbackvj_justin - Jan 15, 2009 / silverystars - Jan 26, 2009
A Letter from Birmingham Jail (loaded words effectiveness)

5 - thank you all for reading it i appreciate it very much and will definitely make the adjustments you suggested!...

Writing Feedbackremembermo - Jan 20, 2009 / remembermo - Jan 25, 2009
ESSAY: SHOULD TUCK SHOP STOP SELLING "JUNK FOOD"?

5 - That's interesting about U.S.A. Today taking both sides... smart strategy! Speaking of editorials, my grandmother recently wrote an editorial...

Writing Feedbacknpxzs - Jan 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 25, 2009
Ref: Analisis of instructions and procedures.

3 - Here are some suggestions to get you started: "the power on/off button " "The second page displays...

Writing Feedbackfernaj13 - Jan 24, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 24, 2009
Nature and nurture essay research (GRE exam)

2 - It may be more accurate to say not that people inherited particular personality traits, but rather that people inherited...

Writing Feedbackavih - Jan 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 23, 2009
Narrative Essay (what to be when you grow up) - I need critique

4 - Thank you for the help! I am actually planning to specialize in pediatric oncology : ) I actually follow...

Writing FeedbackBrinajada - Jan 23, 2009 / Brinajada - Jan 23, 2009
By age 24, 60% of bullies have a criminal record; Introduction/ Essay on Bullying

3 - "By age 24, 60% of bullies have a criminal record." Also, do you know that 92% of statistics are...

Writing Feedbackcoollint - Jan 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 22, 2009
Several different ways in which colleges fail to prepare students for life.

7 - Using a solitary example weakens an essay that is supposed to discuss "Several different ways" of something, because it...

Writing FeedbackKayshel - Jan 19, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 22, 2009
Oedipus the Tragic Hero

5 - Before you start telling about the story, give a succinct answer to the question. Why is it important that...

Writing Feedbackvkwang - Jan 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 20, 2009
Great Expectations - Charles Dickens. Tension and suspense.

4 - You include a lot of plot summary and details that really have little or nothing to do with how...

Writing FeedbackViral - Jan 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 19, 2009
GRE essay (Science and Art)

2 - Your essay lacks focus. It is not particularly clear what your thesis is, or what sort of relationship, if...

Writing Feedbackavih - Jan 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 17, 2009
"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity"; significant event or achievement

3 - Use a dash to separate these: "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity" -- Albert Einstein Oh,...

Writing Feedbackvj_justin - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2009
"The New Lone Rangers" and "Foot-binding" are representing the same sort of character

2 - This is interesting reading good luck with your grammar try buying greegs list it should help you in the...

Writing Feedbackchipmunk - Jan 15, 2009 / mcglownn - Jan 15, 2009
'Inspiration to my brother and sister' your short and long-term goals and priorities

4 - Nice essay with a nice touch of personal feelings... It will be better if u can split and make...

Writing Feedbackrosy - Jan 11, 2008 / vj_justin - Jan 15, 2009
Leadership experience - leader is one who learns from their success and failure

4 - You also have to answer the qn "How and why did you become a leader in this area?". Also...

Writing Feedbackkbros9193 - Jan 12, 2009 / vj_justin - Jan 14, 2009
need help with fixing my essay, "LETTER FROM BIRMINGHAM JAIL" response

5 - thanks guys, i'm fixing it up right now. ill let you know how it goes. =]...

Writing Feedbackamonet520 - Jan 10, 2009 / amonet520 - Jan 13, 2009
Sexual Harassment research essay

2 - Revise for conciseness by taking out unnecessary words. They suck the life out of writing! :) To begin...

Writing FeedbackKarim Fathi - Jan 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 13, 2009

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