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Adult returning to school... review/critique this very ROUGH draft?

7 - Start by researching your topic. Then, brainstorm to think of things you want to say about your topic that...

Undergraduateboosted_347 - Oct 15, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 17, 2009
Driving in winter vs. summer

2 - Well, you have a plan, at least. I would suggest you list the similarities and differences between the two...

Essayscrtboy09 - Oct 17, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 17, 2009
face to face communication is better than others such as mail, phone...

6 - I am not sure if the "other types of communication" in the qns is restricted to the examples given...

Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 13, 2009xtlraptor - Oct 17, 2009
brain drain and solutions for this problem

5 - Hi thinh, I think not all people in Vietnam who has been go abroad do not go back to...

Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 16, 2009essay0405 - Oct 17, 2009
The advantage and disadvantage of the mobile phones

2 - Hi, I don't think mobile phones create a lot of problem for our life and " people should...

Writing Feedbackessay0405 - Oct 16, 2009tuanlnc - Oct 17, 2009
I'm from China - common app personal statement

10 - lmy125 Yeah, I'm from PRC. Ummm...for example..."A writer who keeps diary since elementary school and strives to capture...

Undergraduatelmy125 - Oct 16, 2009ayida365 - Oct 17, 2009
Dancing / Concentration / Slow down - Help-Brown supplements

NEW - Hey, guys! These are my supplements of Brown. Welcome any comments! Grammar is important! THX! 1.Please tell us...

Undergraduatecatherineding - Oct 16, 2009 -
hopefully it is crazy enough to work ... penn state personal statement

9 - haters...

Undergraduatevlatski - Oct 3, 2009metrostars25 - Oct 16, 2009
Essay on three businesses if Mr. Gates awarded me with $300,000

2 - First one is a going to be a hookah lounge called the "X-Hale, " and from there I will...

Writing FeedbackSyed - Oct 16, 2009youngeebs - Oct 16, 2009
Looking for advice on one sentence of admission essay

7 - The top reviewer's revision makes the sentence much more concise and less confusing/wordy. I started to edit it, and...

UndergraduateJason51224 - Oct 14, 2009worldbound10 - Oct 16, 2009
descriptive argument essay about anything?

4 - It needs to be an controversial issue that you can take a stance on, and refute other stances. Good...

EssaysRaa - Oct 14, 2009worldbound10 - Oct 16, 2009
Toefl essay:: Studying abroad, advantages and disadvantages.

8 - hi, in essay or any academic writing should avoid using some pronoun such as you, we, i as possible...

Writing Feedbackerfan222 - Oct 14, 2009thinhtvdhtm - Oct 16, 2009
We, young people, should plan and organize as the modern life is more complex.

3 - Your essay is excellent! However, I think if there is a conclusion in each paragraph, it will be better....

Writing Feedbackmocixuan - Oct 13, 2009lyqinyi - Oct 16, 2009
common app essay- first topic- "The Palpitation"

2 - Ow. The experience you describe, while it must have been terrifying, was not in fact a matter of...

UndergraduateBasker - Oct 16, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 16, 2009
'Hardware Design Engineer' - the Statement of Purpose for Grad Prog in ECE

3 - Thanks a lot Kevin for the insightful suggestion. I shall incorporate the change right away....

Graduatejagannath_s - Oct 13, 2009jagannath_s - Oct 16, 2009
Michigan Engineering Short Essay

3 - Very good essay. I think it is focused and good for a U of M short answer. The only...

Undergraduateqyuiosilent - Oct 15, 2009worldbound10 - Oct 15, 2009
"just go back in the cage..." - An extracurricular activity essay

6 - Your new version is better, but still falls short. What you need to do is to elaborate on this:...

Undergraduatebythe_Secoast - Oct 14, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 15, 2009
Common App essay - a new approach to an old prompt

4 - Um. You are aware that the point of this essay is to show what a *good* candidate you are,...

UndergraduateA Sizzle - Oct 13, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 15, 2009
Toefl iBT, integrated task: Invasive plants are a growing problem.

3 - Hi Jeannie, This is a Toefl iBT integrated writing task. After reading a passage & listening a lecture,...

Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Oct 15, 2009tuanlnc - Oct 15, 2009
"I saw a baby die." - Common App Essay - Significant Experience

4 - Alright, thanks a lot. I'll think about how to incorporate the parents and their feelings. The essay is already...

Undergraduatemuffinman8380 - Oct 15, 2009muffinman8380 - Oct 15, 2009
Area of my choice-- Medicine

4 - Hi Viraj, While my interest in Pre-Medicine provided a foundation of my future, it was the surrounding that...

UndergraduateViraj Patel - Oct 15, 2009qyuiosilent - Oct 15, 2009
UF Essay- How I can contribute to the campus as a Gator

4 - 'Strict' is much better. I think it's good to go. Just please make separate paragraphs....

UndergraduateJGhiya25 - Oct 13, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 15, 2009
"privileged with several years of study" - FSU college essay

4 - Yes. Well, then, good luck....

UndergraduateWuskin - Oct 14, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 15, 2009
"The most delicious meal I have ever eaten..." - Descriptive Essay

3 - This is called a dangling modifier. It implies that your girlfriend was coming home from work, because that...

Writing FeedbackHugcr84001 - Oct 14, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 15, 2009
virginia tech admission essay- I need help cutting it down

5 - Just relax. The essay has room for both narrative parts and other parts directly related to your quest to...

Undergraduatekasey14 - Oct 5, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 15, 2009
Submitting documents by post for an online application

2 - I don't see anything wrong with this format. It conveys the idea you want to convey quite clearly, which...

Graduatero_hej_ho - Oct 15, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 15, 2009
elaborate on one of your activites in 150 words or less (football)

5 - The second one is much better. I don't think that 'eclectic' is the right word, though. 'Accessible' might be...

Undergraduatemetrostars25 - Oct 14, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 15, 2009
'Being a product of my environment' - Florida State essay VIRES

3 - I agree with EF_Kevin that you should add topic sentences to capture the main idea. I also think...

Undergraduateaustin13 - Oct 12, 2009muffinman8380 - Oct 15, 2009
'Silence in the house' - common app: Topic of choice

19 - Full of cheerfulness, optimism and confidence, he brings to mind of my past and foreshadows my future; a reflection...

Undergraduatejamespotter_z7 - Oct 8, 2009jamespotter_z7 - Oct 15, 2009
"Bump in the road", Hide and Seek - for Central Florida Application

4 - thanks for the advice, im working on the essay now=]...

Undergraduatedkinny23 - Oct 14, 2009dkinny23 - Oct 15, 2009
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