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Who or what had an influence on you - about the common application essay

5 - your essay is too long...

Undergraduatepatty123 - Aug 6, 2009rosamond00 - Aug 7, 2009
For Eng 121 class: Use of critical thinking using Mary Postgate and Yellow Wall

5 - Also take out all of the "I assumes" and other I statements....

Writing Feedbackbiggestv - Aug 3, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
" The three concepts in my life" - Florida State University Essay

8 - This sentence is in passive voice with an absent actor. Who, exactly, emphasized these values to you? And,...

Undergraduatekma721 - Aug 4, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
An Undergraduate UF Essay (influance from my brother). Criticism and opinions.

4 - :D their like in cahoots :P...

UndergraduateShaun123 - Aug 4, 2009tal105 - Aug 7, 2009
Looking for a review of My Philosophy Paper

12 - I agree with that advice in general. Good writers say what they have to say rather than telling...

Writing FeedbackAli MacLennan - Aug 2, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
Getting up early and starting day's work in the morning should always be preferred by people

4 - You need to attend to basics. For example, you must place a space after punctuation marks, as I have...

Writing Feedbackmansten - Aug 7, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
"A likable person" - Boston University Supplement Essay

11 - ^^ yup and think "does this suck? or does it suck not so much?" trust me, whenever i...

Undergraduatekcmama8 - Aug 6, 2009tal105 - Aug 7, 2009
'Im a nole - SMARTER AND SURER' - FSU ESSAY

11 - why dont u take out that whole 2nd sentence i think it is? about ur parents and stuff. if...

UndergraduateIAMANOLE - Aug 4, 2009tal105 - Aug 7, 2009
Lung cancer - UCF -some obstacle or bump in the road

3 - Please omit the entirety of your first paragraph. The extended metaphor is so trite that it detracts from, rather...

Undergraduatejaketheraider92 - Aug 6, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
Paging Simone! What do addmission panels look for in essays?

7 - This was a very competitive graduate program for which hundreds applied for about a dozen slots. First pass:...

UndergraduateNotoman - Aug 5, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
Originality and thinking - GRE Issue No:2.

5 - You disagree with the notion of originality? How so?...

Writing Feedbackdesigningsally - Aug 1, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
Lesson learned from my ankle injury - 'nothing was missing from my experience'

8 - Dear. Shine and Liebe, Thank you so much for all of your comments. I think I comprehend your...

Undergraduatelimalex - Aug 5, 2009limalex - Aug 7, 2009
"Desire for a particular kind of learning" - University of Chicago

20 - yea, i considered taking it off my list. i just have all the other essays done. and there like...

Undergraduatetal105 - Aug 1, 2009tal105 - Aug 7, 2009
Miss Judy Common App

21 - The analogy in original doesn't work because there is too much of a gap between the introduction and the...

Undergraduatebrendali92 - Aug 2, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 6, 2009
A valid idea? [CommonApp Essay]

5 - Remember to focus on how this experience changed you. Don't write about how sad you are for the ppl...

UndergraduateJoek1282 - Aug 5, 2009Llamapoop123 - Aug 6, 2009
Stuck on UC prompt, there is nothing really exciting in my life..

15 - lol Your sentence structure is flawed. For example your second sentence. Your tenses need work. Following your passions. Your...

Undergraduatelol - Jul 16, 2009Llamapoop123 - Aug 6, 2009
'How you can achieve this or that..' - How to answer such essay prompts?

8 - But the problem is how do I say that UPenn business program can help me do this? I mean...

Essaysprompter - Aug 4, 2009tal105 - Aug 6, 2009
The year 2050, movie of your life - NYU Personal Statement

7 - ahhh, okay. i see. im thinking i should maybee sorta tweak or redo what i wrote then. dammit....

Undergraduateananya - Aug 6, 2009tal105 - Aug 6, 2009
My Favorite Flowers

5 - I think it is fine to use the flower, but I do have one concern. A flower is nature's...

Undergraduatetiantian12 - Aug 6, 2009Notoman - Aug 6, 2009
Describe the world you come from (Korea, Hong-Kong) - UC ESSAY PROMPT

NEW - Hi This is my first draft of the UC prompt Describe the world you come from - for example,...

Undergraduatepatty123 - Aug 6, 2009 -
Archie isn't just a typical guy I've encountered in my life! - Unforgettable person

4 - Every one of us has met someone in our lives who may or may not have impacted our lives...

Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Aug 1, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 6, 2009
Dangerous sports and activities - for fun, money, or for nothing

11 - It's not so much that it sounds weird as that nobody knows it. This is a dictionary word that...

Writing Feedbacksugarzhi - Aug 3, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 6, 2009
Saving money for future is more useful than spending on travel.

2 - Is that true? How do you know? Students often start essays with an assertion that whatever they are...

Writing Feedbackgh52km42 - Aug 5, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 6, 2009
Events in my life - New UF essay.

5 - Please don't start with those words. Your story is strong and could be compelling but needs to be...

UndergraduateDeadpool013 - Aug 3, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
Essay on Urbanisation

2 - For what purpose did you write this essay? I see you've got it posted under undergraduate admissions essays, but...

Writing Feedbackkillerwind - Aug 5, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
"Moral Strength" and real life confrontation - need help with FSU essay

7 - presence*...

Undergraduatediiaa36 - Aug 4, 2009diiaa36 - Aug 5, 2009
Need help writing an Abstract on Gay New York from the turn of late 19 century

5 - Sean, you seem stuck in the culture wars of the 1990s. For the record, I was harassed incessantly...

Book ReportsSal - Aug 1, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
Colleges for gain knowledge, new experience & prepare for future career - TOEFL

11 - Indeed. And, in literature as opposed to workaday prose, ornate sentences are still acceptable. (David Foster Wallace, anyone?)...

Writing Feedbackstardust - Jul 31, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
To be elected as the country's president gives prestige and honor.

2 - Do you know Corazon Aquino? If so, you must say how you know her. If not, then you have...

Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Aug 4, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
Cbest - Back to Basics

2 - One strength of this essay is your use of supporting evidence. However, you will need to work on your...

Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Aug 5, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
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