Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2: the purpose of the existence of university [3]

Some people believe that the aim of university education is to help graduates find better jobs while some others hold that there are wider benefits for the individual and the society. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

Many students enter the university for diverse purpose. Majority people argue that university is place where pupils can obtain help to seek great occupation in the future whilst the opponents believe that knowledge, which students gain in university, is useful for their life and society. In my opinion, the function of university not only for finding job, but also for individual and community.

With regard to the first statement, it is true that university can assist young people to seek the job, because it gives scholar helpful service of pursuing career, so for those who have knowledge in university will get ease when they look for job. In my university, for example, many learners are obliged by university in seeking job because it provides various supports, such as providing valid information of satisfactory occupation, maintaining the students' necessity related to the job requirements and giving excellent recommendation. Consequently, undergraduate people can obtain best position in job.

Therefore, there is no doubt that university can assist youth in finding occupation.

Moreover, experiences, which teenagers get in university, can be applied to the real world, so it will be useful for them and their social life. To illustrate, when societies have a problem in maintaining food quality, students of food science and technology can give solution to overcome that problem by sharing the knowledge about it to society. As a result, many people can know how to create high quality of their diet.

To sum up, It is necessary for them to take many advantages of university because it can supply effects to students not only for seeking job but also for themselves and the group's lives.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2: the argument of spending money in art, education or health [5]

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

There are many kinds of developments which occur today. A huge amount of money is expended in art by the government in many countries, yet the opponents argue that it is more important if council spend expenditure for improving education service and quality of health care. In my opinion, investing money either for art or for school and hospital are important.

Those who support spending money in art believe it is valuable for some reasons. Firstly, this has capability of providing the entertainment for citizens because everyone needs pleasure, such as music perform, painting exhibition and dance attraction. Secondly, it is common to see the art expo in order to impress tourists. Consequently, it will bring many benefits for region, such as becoming famous centuries with rich art, getting income, creating new job which is related to art activities for its people. In all, this can occur because of expending money for showing the impressive art fair.

Meanwhile, it is also essential to spend the money for education and health service. By making better facilities at school, students' spirit can be ignited to study harder and give more attention to their teacher. In addition, they will feel comfortable and later, those are able to influence the pupils' interest to get high achievement at school. In other words, the high quality of education for creating brilliant generation can be obtained by this way. Besides, with regard to improving health service, it will bring enormous positive effects for people. Patient can be treated well because of sophisticated facilities, proper treatment and skillful doctor in the hospital. Therefore, many lives can be saved and the death rate can be reduced.

To sum up, although majority of people think disbursing money in art is important and the others argue the money should be expended for education and health quality, I would argue that both opinion are crucial for human's life based on the advantages that people can gain from these occasions. It is imperative for schools and hospitals should be the most primary sector.

Writing Feedback / Museums and art galleries cannot provide the convenient condition for the visitors [2]

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

People always enjoy and love entertainment and now in this modern world, people can access the enjoyable by many ways, like visiting the place which provide it, such as public museums and art galleries. Nevertheless, majority of people argue that these places will not be demanded due to advanced computer which is able to supply the information of ancient objects and works. In my opinion, museum and art galleries are still important in appearing historical arts and works for some reasons.

To begin, by the existence of museum and art galleries, people are able to appreciate how wonderful the arts are directly and see the detail shape of them in many angles while computer cannot shows the distinct appearance of the old arts because it only accommodates the picture of arts. Consequently, people will be more satisfied when they take pleasure of arts by looking at them in direct interaction rather than harnessing the modern computer. Therefore, museum and art galleries are still crucial as appropriate place for antique objects.

However, nowadays, museum and art galleries cannot provide the convenient condition for the visitors who want to obtain enjoyment of arts and primitive items. Both places tend to exhibit the art creature by boring ways and they provide less quality of facilities. In other words, there is no bright invention to attract people for visiting historic museum and art exhibition, yet computer is able to offer the attractive way for people who require art knowledge by accommodating easy access. Therefore, majority of people tend to judge the museum and art galleries will be not needed.

To sum up, museum and art galleries are essential for presenting the visual art for the lovers while computer cannot do the same thing. Nevertheless, it is necessary to make the amazing environment in both places to attract the people, so their existence can be still wanted.

Writing Feedback / People prefer to access information by harnessing computer technology rather than visit libraries [NEW]

Maintaining public libraries is a waste money since computer technology can replace their functions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, technology has changed the way people life, especially the method of reading book. Most people prefer to access information of knowledge by harnessing computer technology rather than visiting libraries for some reasons. In my opinion, I have positive and negative side of the statement.

To begin, advanced technology always offers the easy way to fulfill the people's necessity in enlarging their intelligence. That is why people choose computer technology as the tool to get news about everything. To illustrate, in many public libraries located in my state, the number of visitor decrease significantly because they are more interested in reading book by connecting to computer. Computer can provide many kinds of knowledge in short time, started from the oldest report until the newest one, so people are still able to keep up to date whilst the library sometimes cannot supply the complete one. Consequently, spending the expenditure in order to improve the condition of libraries is worthless.

However, there is crucial reason why libraries should be maintained as the best place for citizen to get data because recently, many studies show that looking at the screen of computer in long time can make people own the serious illness, such as eyes disease. The evidence of this can be seen with many teenagers now have worn glasses in their young aged because of disturbance in their eyes as a result of reading news in computer. Therefore, it is important for spending money to arrange public libraries to attract people in reading book, so people can leave their addiction of consuming the knowledge from computer which will give dire effect for their eyes.

To sum up, although computer give the easy way to access the information, people need to consider the effect of it if people give more concern about it because staying in front of computer in order to read the news for great number of time can give drawback for people's life.

Writing Feedback / Task 2: high attention of either digital or printed media in the lives of extraordinary people [4]

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Popular person is always able to attract many aspects, especially media. Nowadays, either digital or printed media gives a lot of concern on the lifestyle of celebrities or football players, yet the opponents argue that it will be good if media pay attention to the live of infamous people. In my opinion, both statements are acceptable for some reasons.

With regard to the first argument, it is common for media to show a great deal of information about the living of famous person because the data can sometimes offer the positive effects to society besides for entertaining purpose. For example, knowing the healthy lifestyle of footballers can enlarge the knowledge of people about the interesting way to keep fit. Moreover, the citizens also are able to know how players obtain great achievement by watching their daily activities. Absolutely, this will create immense improvement of how people think of good quality of life. Therefore, there is no doubt that the routine of media which showing the glance of great people is useful to influence other people.

However, media also needs to give focus on ordinary people because many lessons can be gained from it in order to make same offerings for audience. Someone who lives under the line of poverty can be amazing object for media to concern about. This kind of ordinary people will make the government and society aware about them in which they have to be helped. Afterwards, by elaborating about what happens in the live of poor people can ignite the youth to prevent it by studying more diligently, so this is kind of inspiration sources.

To sum up, although people have different perspective about what data should be appeared in the media whether celebrities or ordinary people, I argue that both topics are crucial because they can provide knowledge of society in many sectors.

Writing Feedback / New York - lowest temperatures monthly, but longest hours of sunshine comparing to London and others [2]

The given line graph and table illustrate the average temperatures per a month and the average time of sunshine annually over a twelve-month period, from January to December, located in three diverse towns. Overall, it can obviously be seen that the temperatures in three locations showed upward tendency, except in Sydney while based on total sunshine, New York had the highest number.

Looking at the detailed analysis, in the beginning month, Sydney overtook the highest temperatures at more than 25, followed by London and New York which stood at less than 10 and 5, respectively. Next, there was an unchanged in the condition of Sydney temperatures since first month until February before it fell suddenly and hit a low of 15 in July. In contrast, August to December witnessed a steep rise and finally reached the point of 25 as the highest temperatures in the end period and the total of sunshine in this region per year was 2.473 hours.

Equally, important, temperatures in London and New York showed virtually similar patterns, in which both of them rose steadily until touching a peak at more than 20 in the same period, July, after they met at the same point of 12 in April. In November, they again met in the point of 11 and reached the last point at just under 10 in the twelfth month. Surprisingly, although New York had the lowest temperatures monthly, it had the biggest number of total hours of sunshine at 2,535 while London became the country which had the smallest one at around 1,180 hours.

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Writing Feedback / People are living longer due to medical care - is it a positive trend? [2]

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, everything has changed because of alterations in many sectors, including medical care. The effect of this improvement is that citizens are surviving longer and their quality of life is inclining. In my opinion, this will bring negative and positive effects in same proportion.

With regard to the drawbacks, overpopulation will grow significantly because automatically the number of death decreases as a result of high medical service. In India, for example, the medical technology, which becomes more sophisticated, leads to increase the number of population. Consequently, this phenomenon creates many problems like the adding number of poverty, crime rate, unemployment, conflict in order to get some basic necessities like food, and creating a war. Therefore, it will be worse if this occasion occurs without any solution from government.

The second negative effect of this case is that the number of retirement old people jump. For instance, in some developing countries, which has modern medical care to provide the best service for its people tend to have large number of old woman and man. As a result, the council has many burdens to keep them save by giving them monthly salary of retirement status. This will make the condition of country unstable if government should pay in large amount, so government need to consider this more deeply.

However, people can get many benefits from this phenomenon. Firstly, the level of stress in each person decreases because the illness, which he or she has, can be treated well by using advance medical service. Secondly, people will have high effort to reach some achievement leading to create creativity because they already know that will live longer and stay healthy due to medical treatment.

To sum up, the disadvantages of high quality of medical effect on people are overpopulation and large number of retirement people. Nevertheless, the advantages of this are that people are free from stress and have more endurance to stay alive.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: how greenhouse gases are able to catch the sun's energy [5]

The diagram reveals how greenhouse gases are able to catch the sun's energy. As can be seen, it can occur by passing some stages, which need many supporter substances.

Firstly, the sunlight comes first to the earth as heat, then some of it is released into space and the rest of it is trapped by greenhouse gases. As a result, the earth becomes warmer due to obtaining more heat energy. This phenomenon has gotten worse recently because the amount of carbon dioxide (CO2), which is the main substantial content to create greenhouse, is available abundantly. In fact, there are three kinds of human activities, which make carbon dioxide overflowing, such as burning fossil fuels which is done by many industries, transportation uses, like car and truck, producing some dangerous gases and cutting down the trees legally in the forest area in the big proportion, which actually have capability to absorb the carbon dioxide emission.

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Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2: The perspective of study alone or with group [4]

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Each student has different ways to study. Majority of people argue that learning about particular subject together with peers is more efficient whilst the opponents think studying alone is greater. In my opinion, both of these perspectives are true for some reasons.

With regard to analyzing something with community, it is productive way to understand theme which needs a lot of explorations because students are able to obtain some helps from the member of the group. Learning about essay, for example, require many suggestions in order to create an excellent essay. Diverse advice from other persons can enhance the idea of pupil's writing and minimize a mistake, such as grammatical error and out of topic. Therefore, the paper made by students will be more organized and excellent. This cannot be done without participation from colleagues in union.

However, observing lesson alone is also useful for pupils who need a high concentration to get the point of assignment because some certain subject matters demand noiseless environment. Mathematics is one of them which needs high quality of focus, so people who concern on this lesson sometimes tend to be unaccompanied when they do some project having relation to this. Evidence of this can be seen with the students in Senior High School no 1 Mataram, Indonesia, who prefer to avoiding a crowd since they need convergent thinking when they solve the problem of math. As a result, case, which is available in math, can be overcome easily and more accurate.

To sum up, although some people believe learning activity together is better while the others argue studying alone is more effectual, I would argue that the way which students learn about something either in group or alone has competent roles in the same proportion depending on the subject which young people should solve. The most crucial is that learners are able to understand the lesson easily by the methods they choose.

Writing Feedback / The number of people in the world explodes frequently; one of the biggest cases for human's life now [2]

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Nowadays, everything has changed. The number of people in the world explodes frequently and this phenomenon is indicated as the biggest cases for human's life now. There is main reason of this problem and I totally agree that this can be greatest obstacle for society. This essay will describe about my opinion in detail.

The continued incline of population can happen because good service of medical care can develop the number of population. The birth rate and the safety of the child will rise and make people unworried to deliver a baby as many as they want. Moreover, absolutely, the total of death ratio will thicken and life expectancy does the opposite one because recent medical development can threat debilitating illness, which could not be tackled in the past. Evidence of this can be seen with Anderson Center in the USA which argue that there is link between medical improvement and population explosions. The greater medical service is, the larger population can be created.

However, abundant population can be big problem for society in many occasions. To begin, big proportion of citizens without having any skills is able to enlarge unemployment. This can create social problem too far, such as an increase in the number of crime rate and poverty. In addition, many kinds of conflict will appear in order to get space for living and to obtain food for surviving.

To sum up, overpopulation is able to occur due to good service of medical care. I firmly believe this bring many disadvantages for humanity, like greater number of violence and starvation. However, government will have many steps to overcome the problem to keep stability of inhabitants in a country.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: the condition of Stokeford village in 1930 and in 2010 [3]

The maps illustrate the condition of Stokeford village in 1930 and in 2010. Overall, it can obviously be seen that the most noticeable change is that open area was replaced by various kinds of residences.

Moving to more detailed explanation, in the north side of the village, figure of the bridge and the frame of River Stoke were not altered while the farmland area in 1930 was substituted by extended house in 2010. There were also changes in the opposite side of it in which houses became larger and made two shops disappeared. Fortunately, the construction of post office still existed over an eighty-year period. Next, primary school got two extension buildings which made the appearance of the school bigger than before.

Turning to the south part from post office, many citizens' dwellings can be seen, having square pattern and existing around the road, replacing the farmland area. Opposite these accommodations, there were retirement houses as the output of large houses substitution. In addition to this, the new buildings, particularly in front of the retirement block, took garden area.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: the number of students studying Computer Science at a UK university [2]

The bar chart below gives information about the number of students studying Computer Science at a UK university between 2010 and 2012.

The graph reveals the data about the total of pupils learning computer science at a UK University over a three-year period, from 2010 to 2012. As can be seen that boys and girls who were British home and International students experienced upward tendency.

With regard to male scholars, there was a dramatic increase in the number of foreign students from a low of 20 in 2010 to a high of 39 in 2012 without falling number. In contrast, the number of local students participating computer science decreased dramatically to less than 25 in 2011, meanwhile in the first frame time the point stood at 39 before it reached a peak at more than 40.

Turning to female pupils, either British home participants or cosmopolitan learners witnessed a rise although the total of development for each classified student was different. For native students, 2010-2012 saw a sudden jump of approximately 15 whilst the number of international lovers of computer science inclined steeply by 6.

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Writing Feedback / Crime can attack everyone as long as there is a chance. Violence number among youth. [2]

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

Crime can attack everyone as long as there is a chance. Recently, there is a significant rise in the number of violence among the youth happening in many parts of the world. The major cause of this case is inconvenient living condition and the solutions for this problem are parenting and school caring. This essay will describe them in detail.

One of the reasons why adolescents have braveness to commit crime is that they socialize in inappropriate environment in which there is no control for their behavior and this can create worse freedom for their life. For example, having peers who have negative character can influence the way teenager thinking of something new, like drugs and drinking. They will tend to follow instruction from their friends because their parents are too busy at office, so they are lack of care. Therefore, it will be miserable if this phenomenon still exists in many regions for long time without some solutions.

There are two steps to tackle the problem of juvenile delinquency. Firstly, parents should have regulation and strict punishment to maintain the vices of their children. Moreover, providing spare time to visit breathtaking places together with them can tie closeness among family member and based on research conducted by Ramon B. in 1990, children spending time with parents in leisure moment have greater emotional bonding, which can cause them to avoid negative manners. In addition, school also can take part to decrease crime ratio among young people by accommodating afterschool programs. These activities can make them busy in doing positives project, building the creativity and new skills, so they do not have time to commit crime.

In my conclusion, the main reason of high crime among teens is dire circumstance which supplying low concern of adolescences' demeanor. To overcome it, parents should take care of their child and the schools have to offer extracurricular activity for the students.

Writing Feedback / Living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience - IELTS 2 [NEW]

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in houses. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Everyone needs space for living and has different perspective about the place for struggling. Majority of people believe that staying in skyscraper has limit interaction due to less communication with other people while others think this lifestyle have much greater socialization rather than living in houses. In my opinion, both arguments are false for some reasons. This essay will describe about it.

With regard to living in tall building, citizens are still able to interact with the neighbors because tower blocks consist of many rooms which are filled by occupants who come from diverse culture. For everyone who is keen on making communication with strange denizen, this occasion can increase the knowledge about the traditional custom and behavior of the neighbor by arranging meeting and cooking together in the weekend, for example. Automatically, the relationship among the dwellers can be built easily and there is no one who becomes lonely. Therefore, it can be impossible if people do not spend their life in flat.

Turning to resting in residence, people also have a change to communicate and play some roles in the society because people can gather with all of the residences by only visiting their house. Moreover, usually, the distance between one house and other house is quite near, so there is no big difficulty to socialize with other inhabitants. In my region, for instance, the sense of togetherness is high. Evidence of this can be seen with inmates who always have time to give hand for neighbors and tackle the problem together, so this phenomenon can be very helpful for creating good communication.

To sum up, although some people argue that spending the life in apartment makes citizens alone and the opposite statements say that staying in apartment will make people have better sense of gathering than those living in houses, I would argue that I have different perspective about them because people still have opportunity to associate with others in both places.

Writing Feedback / The total of money spent on books in four countries between 1995 & 2005 experienced upward tendency [NEW]

The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.

The line graph illustrates the amount of funding expended on books, counted in US dollars (millions), located in four countries, Germany, France, Italy and Austria over a ten-year period. As can be seen from the graph, despite some fluctuation, the total of money spent in four countries experienced upward tendency.

At the beginning of period, the highest money spent was overtaken by Austria, which always gave biggest proportion in expending money on literacy along the whole period. Having virtually similar pattern to France (1995-1997), which showed a gradual increase in the number of money spent on books of 20 million dollars, Italy released money more than 50 million dollars and the point rose significantly to more than 60 million dollars in 2005 after both of them showed far gap between 1999 and the end of period (2005).

Equally important, there was Germany, which had a dramatic incline, in which the number of money spent in the end of period was 70 million, two times as many as that in the first period.

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Writing Feedback / Each occupation has different roles and functions in the society; inventors vs doctors essay [2]

Question: Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Each occupation has different roles and functions in the society. Majority of people think that inventors are less essential for the community rather than doctors. I firmly disagree about the statement for some reasons. This essay will describe my opinion about it.

With regard to inventors, they are extremely useful for human development because they discover something new to solve the problem which citizens face daily. For example, the legend and famous scientist, Thomas Alfa Edison, found the important discovery, lamp, after passing many obstacles. As a result, nowadays, all people in the world have used his invention for doing many activities which need a light in the night or in the dark room, such as reading, cooking, walking and working. There is no doubt this has improved people's lives in many ways and this would not have been possible without the creation of discoverers.

However, occupation as doctors is also crucial to society because they can save human to survive and stay healthy. Doctors in my village, for instance, succeed to decrease the number of debilitating illness victims. They give the appropriate treatment to the patients, offer the incredible medicine, provide convenient service and share some tips how to prevent the diseases. Consequently, in the short time, the death illness in my region decline significantly and villagers start to give attention to the condition of their body by following the instruction from doctors, such as doing some exercises regularly.

To sum up, although some people argue finders are not as crucial as medical practitioner, I would argue both of them are substantial. In the future, I hope they have good collaboration in order to make people's live better.

Writing Feedback / The bar chart illustrates the alteration of the global sales of hybrid vehicles - four-year period [2]

The bar chart illustrates the alteration of the global sales of hybrid vehicles over a four-year period, started from 2006 to 2009. Overall, it can obviously be seen that, despite some fluctuations in US, the transaction of hybrid transportation in Japan and other experienced upward trend.

Based on the chart, in the first year, the number of hybrid transportation sales in Japan stood at more than 50.000, which had similar point to that of other countries while the trade in US stayed at the highest number along this period at approximately 250.000. Consequently, the total sales in 2006 reached 360.000 sales. However, 2007 saw a steep growth in the number of sales in those three classification regions.

Turning to the following year (2008), the number of sales in US still overtook the largest number at more than 300.000 sales, followed by other countries and Japan. Surprisingly, the point of sales in US decreased dramatically as the second largest number of sales in the next year whereas the ratio of hybrid vehicle sales in Japan and other countries hit a high of more than 300.000 and 100.000, respectively. As a result, the total of sales in the end period was 740.000, two times greater compared to the first period (2006).