Student Talk / Listening: 8.5 - I got my IELTS result today [12]

Hello everybody!
I just got my IELTS result about 20 minutes ago and this was unbelievable. I would like to express my thanks to all of the moderators, contributors and other members who have taken time to give me valuable corrections and recommendations since I started joining this forum and my writing and grammar has improved a lot!

Here is my score:
Listening: 8.5
Reading: 8.0
Writing: 8.0
Speaking: 8.0
Overall: 8.0
Thank you very much!

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Opinion on wearing uniforms in schools [5]

Topic: Wearing uniforms is popular in schools, but some people argue that it might cause damage to children's individuality. What is your opinion?

Uniforms are often regarded as an integral part of various educational institutions today. In my opinion, far from eliminating individuality, students can derive huge benefits from wearing uniforms.

To begin with, one obvious advantage that wearing uniforms brings about is the lower rates of bullying problems linked to clothes. There is no doubt that each school consists of a myriad of students from different family backgrounds, of which those from affluent households are able to show off the most stylish outfits. This has led to the fact that less fortunate students feel inferior to others and sometimes they become the victims of bullying due to their ordinary clothes. Thanks to the use of uniforms, bullies are effortlessly tackled and the economic discrepancy between students seems to be no more a thorny issue. Accordingly, uniforms contribute to promoting unity amongst children.

Meanwhile, some children claim that wearing uniforms would limit their individuality and by wearing regular clothes are they entitled to express their personality. However, it is academic knowledge that should be placed emphasis on when it comes to school rather than expression of egoism. In fact, if children are allowed to wear any kinds of clothes, then there is a rise in the competition for becoming the trendiest one in their schools and their academic performance is likely to be sacrificed as a consequence. Briefly, wearing similar clothes enables students to focus on their main targets of going to schools rather than other external factors.

To sum up, I would have to reiterate the importance of school uniforms. On the grounds that they encourage a sense of unity and concentration of school-goers, I believe that wearing them should be maintained as a rule.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: agricultural land becomes less productive; Worldwide land degradation [2]

Topic: The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart illustrates the main incentives why worldwide land was degraded around the world whereas the table depicts the impacts of these reasons on three different areas throughout the 1990s.

Overall, over-grazing was responsible for the majority of counterproductive agricultural land around the world. Likewise, the effects of three reasons varied considerably with Europe having the largest proportion of land degradation.

Over one third of global land were less productive owing over-grazing, 5% higher than the second major cause, deforestation. This was closely followed by over-cultivation that accounted for 28% while other factors constituted the remaining 7%.

Simultaneously, Europe suffered the largest loss of land productivity with around 23%, of which deforestation made up nearly one tenth. Over-cultivation and over-grazing took up relatively smaller percentages at 7.7% and 5.5% respectively. Meanwhile, the predominant cause of degradation of land in Oceania was over-grazing at approximately 11% out of a total of 13% while the other reasons had little impact. In North America, statistics for land degradation was lowest at 5%, mainly caused by over-cultivation with 3.3%.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS: Older people should live with their families or at a nursing home [7]

Topic: Currently more and more people respect elders and become convinced that older people should live with their families, which is in contrast to the view that older people should live at a nursing home. What is your opinion?

Some people claim that elderly care should be provided by nursing homes these days. In my opinion, senior citizens are advised to live with their descendants by dint of their needs of emotional support as well as the responsibility of younger family members.

To begin with, one reason for the elders to stay with their families is that they are likely to suffer loneliness if they reside at nursing homes. While nursing homes are capable of supplying a variety of professional service, they fail to provide a sense of community for their residents. In fact, senior people have to integrate into an alienated environment unlike their formerly surrounding. Besides, various people struggle to establish friendships with their roommates due to characteristic differences. Coupled with living away from their family members and friends, it seems that their loneliness is potentially fostered.

Additionally, it should be noted that younger members of the family are suggested to take responsibility for their elders. Elderly people used to experience a hard time of raising their children and grandchildren. Furthermore, they were responsible for teaching initial lessons for their descendants such as how to speak and how to behave. By taking care of the elders, in turn, can the young generations express their respect and gratitude towards their seniors. In most Asian countries, looking after the elderly people is regarded as an obligatory duty of individuals. That is to say, from a moral perspective, it is essential that older adults should stay with their families.

To sum up, I would have to reiterate the necessity of the elderly people living with their family members. Not only do they feel a sense of interaction but also their descendants will have an opportunity to show their filial piety.

Could you give me feedback on this essay? Thanks in advance.