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Posts by Vns9x
Name: Shon Do
Joined: Sep 23, 2014
Last Post: Jul 5, 2015
Threads: 102
Posts: 230  
From: Russia
School: Gymnaisym 123

Displayed posts: 332 / page 1 of 9
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Vns9x   
Sep 23, 2014
Writing Feedback / Imitation and knowledge stage; childhood - the most significant time in an individual's life (toefl) [8]

Topic Do you agree or disagree that childhood is the most important time in a person's life

Numerous people on this planet consider childhood is really important due to the fact that it is the preliminary stage of human life and without it you cannot go to the next stage. Yet the rest of people think it is not that crucial because childhood is only the part of our life .Therefore it does not fully decide our destiny. However I strongly believe that it is important because that is the time when our character is forming and essential knowledge simultaneously.

First things first, Personalities. As kids they have not gotten any personalities yet. It is because kids are too young for it. Despite of this possibility, some of the kids might already have some certain character . However I have a strong belief that it is not permanent. Therefore it is a variable stage and it necessitates for parents or people surrounding them to be like a role model in order to create a harmless character for our society. By way of illustriation if a child had a really pathetic life when he was a kid then as he grew up he can become drug dealer or smuggler .

Secondly, Background knowledge. The first knowledge is always precious for any human being in this planet. If it happens that you are going to be living without it then the life will be really tough. Even though I have seen numerous people lived without it and nothing really affects them that much but still we can not play our life like a lottery so additional knowledge for contingency is necessary . For instance alphabet. Although I was a really good pupil in school but somehow I deliberately skipped it because I did not think it is going to be such an important thing. Thus it is a nightmare for me to encounter with exercises associated with that.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I assert that childhood is a considerable time in an any human life due to the chief knowledge that kid will obtain and nonetheless characteristic that kid going to be possess in the rest of his entire life. So yes indeed I completely agree with that statement and consider childhood as a considerable time in our life.
Vns9x   
Sep 26, 2014
Writing Feedback / Educational system is the thing that I fairly certain that we need to change soon in our country [10]

If you could change one important thing about your country, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Educational System Change

If you could change one important thing about your country, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. Toefl

There are numerous things in Cambodia that necessitate to change immediately. However, it seems to me that educational system is the most prominent of all of them, due to the fact that it does not provide us with sufficient English skills, and also courses that can be studied by busy people who cannot arrange their timetable reasonably.

Foremost and uppermost is language because in our country still poor, and it is not traditional to learn English properly for us. Consequently, our educational system is very weak at teaching English or even others languages. Therefore it leads us towards lack of capacity speaking, and writing and so on. Despite this possibillity , minority people from our country succeed in learning English, because they were able to learn English from different resources. Internet is the small example for it. However I believe that majority of people agree with me that it is really challenging to comprehend many aspects in English in our country. By way of illustriation, I can recall myself savvying English .It was really difficult I could not pose questions to almost anybody in my country something associated with English grammars and structures. Thus it was a great obstacle for me to perfect my English skills.

Secondly, It is time management, Many of us need money paying for tuition or even reinforcing our family. Even though, some of us still sustain from those circumstances that I mentioned above, but it is really tough because our universities do not give us a variety of timetable to choose in order to balance our hassles and studies. For instance, being a wonderful student and being wonderful kingpin is too much for my brother. Thus he had to skipped some of the lectures and seminars to support our family. Subsequently our brother got fired from our neaby universities.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I must say that our educational system is a nightmare for many people due to the fact that it does not supply us sufficient English knowledge and the schedule that can apply for many people in different situtations. So yes, If I had an opportunity to alter something in my country then our educational system will be a number priority for me.
Vns9x   
Sep 26, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Video games are harmful if people play them in the wrong ways [7]

Video games are harmful if people play them in the wrong ways. This sentence should contain in introduction instead of your body paragraph. Moreover try use words like however, furthermore, thus e.t.c to improve your essay coherence.
Vns9x   
Sep 27, 2014
Writing Feedback / Teacher can either affect positively or negatively so being strict and hard disciplined is necessary [5]

What are some important qualities of a good school teacher? Use specific details and examples to explain why these qualities are important.

From the point of view of the future educator. I consider being strict is one of the most essential quality that teacher should have, since it will help you to be respected and it will give your subject more attention and the quality of learning your subject. Beside that, I think being patient is also another pivotal quality because the speed of comprehension of children is different.

First and uppermost, in terms of strict, this quality can help teacher becoming more different than the rest of the teachers who are easygoing. Consequently, it will draw an attention of children learning your subject. As a result, the child is going to have a better performance and outcome. However, this quality does not apply to small group of child for the reason that children are unique Because they might have variety of personalities and mindset. Despite this possibility, I strongly believe it will work on most of the child these days.

On the other side of the coin, the quality of being patient is also fundamental. Because being a teacher can be really challenging, since you will confront numerous problems .By way of illustration I can recall myself being a slow learner, so it took from my teacher at least 4 hours explaining the topic that I could not comprehend in the lesson. Furthermore, I might be not the only pupil who had trouble about savvying the lesson's topic. Therefore, it is really stiff being a teacher. However, as the aforementioned possibility it does not apply to every human being on this planet, but I am talking about majority.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I strongly believe that being patient and strict are important qualities that every good teacher must have. Hopefully, I will become the embodiment of the perfect teacher qualities that I just mentioned, when the time to be teacher comes.

Assess me as tough as you can, i really appreciate for all your helps x3
Vns9x   
Sep 28, 2014
Writing Feedback / Teacher can either affect positively or negatively so being strict and hard disciplined is necessary [5]

Teacher can either affect positively or negatively so being strict and hard disciplined is necessary

What are some important qualities of a good school teacher? Use specific details and examples to explain why these qualities are important.

Numerous people consider that teachers must be kind and easygoing to be obtained the good connection with the kids. Yet, the rest think that teachers must be strict and hard disciplined in order to create the child that would fit in well with our society. Personally for me, I find second statement more logical and righteous.

First and uppermost, in terms of strict, Tremendous people must agree with me that it is pivotal because usually kids do not tend choosing the right path to walk on and some of them might falter from the correct path. Moreover, they are often conservative. Therefore, it is important to be strict.
Vns9x   
Sep 28, 2014
Writing Feedback / New announcements from our president [4]

It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why?
Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.


Personally, I totally oppose with the upcoming plan of new construction. I consider it is a little bit useless for the majority of people, since eating in restaurant can be really expensive. Moreover, it would disturb our daily activities at home such as works because of the noises.

First and foremost, in terms of expenses, Not many people in our neighborhood can spend that much of money for the meals in restaurant because of our lack of salary. Most of us are underprivileged. Furthermore, a large group of people who are living with me know how to cook properly really well, and restaurant might not provide us with the taste that we used to eat. By way of an illustration, I can recall myself eating in the restaurant. Unfortunately, there was no meal ,which can be substituted the delicacies that my mom usually does for me. Also, ironically it ended up with a huge bill.

On the other side of the coin, Numerous neighborhoods must agree with me. It is going to be really noisy outside because of the customers and clients of the restaurant. In the other words it would mar our peaceful atmosphere. For instance. I can envision myself an old guy, who is living next to me reading a newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee simultaneously. Then dozens of people are going to be screaming, talking, indulging in the restaurant and outside of the restaurant. Thus, it is pretty uncomfortable and awkward. As for me and many other human being on this planet, we need to do tremendous researches and assigments of our company. Consequently, me and my neighborhood requires some peaceful environment in order to finalize our job or relishing the nature of the earth.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I strongly disagree with the forthcoming plan of a new restaurant due to our salary and cooking skills. But, most importantly, those noises that we are about to suffer.

Any tough advice would be appreciated and liked ;D
Vns9x   
Sep 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / People should satisfy with their destiny because we can not change - Toefl exam essay [3]

First of all, we almost are in the same situation;D. Ironically my test is going to be in the middle of December. Anyhow do not forget about layout. Furthermore what does this mean,,,We have to aisle to our dream without concern about unnecessary thing'' i really advise you to replace the word aisle into something else.;) There are tiny problems suck as caps lock e.t.c. Overall good job!
Vns9x   
Sep 30, 2014
Writing Feedback / experience vs. taking advice [2]

First of all, you have to at least paraphrase the statement. Otherwise, it will either show the raters that you do not have enough creativity or lack of vocabulary!
Vns9x   
Sep 30, 2014
Writing Feedback / Separating Male and female ! Gender Segregation in Schools [3]

Gender Segregation in Schools Do you agree or not use specific examples and details to support your answer!

Studying at the same school !

It has been a controversial question, whether it is correct to separate both genders attending at the same school. Many people believe, it is going to be a distraction, since these days young generation tend to date prematurely. However, I consider it is beneficial to allow both genders studying together for the reason that it will provide opposite gender better at understanding each other. Moreover, both male and female must possess a perfect communication skill in order to be tailored to this complicated life.

First and uppermost, school is the best place in conversing with many people. Furthermore, going to school is the period of shaping our skills in numerous facets. Thus. It would be profitable if the school contains both genders in order to perfect oneself. By way of an illustration, I can envision a male who does not communicate any single female at school. Then, once he steps out from school. He will not have any experience about it. Therefore, it is better if the school was be the place that could obtain those experiences.

On the other side of the coin, We as human being cannot deny that encountering with opposite gender after school is inevitable. Since we are living in one society and dwelling on the same planet, eating the same meals, seeing each other and so on. Hence, we must face reality as soon as we can since the later you wait the more challenging it is going to be. For instance, Imagine, a guy who has never approached any single girls in his life. He will have to overcome his shyness. Despite this possibility, it does not apply for every person. However, it is more about majority. Most of guys in this world necessitate some time to get accustomed communicating with the opposite gender.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I have a strong belief that we must study together at the same school, because it will be more profitable due to communication skills, also it will shape us into the person that would fit in well with our society.
Vns9x   
Oct 1, 2014
Writing Feedback / Internet is the most considerable invention due to its simplicity of gaining new knowledge. [3]

Many people say that the internet is the most important invention ever. Do you agree or disagree with this and if not, what do you believe to be more important? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Numerous people believe that Internet is not the most crucial invention ever, since Internet is only one of many parts of our invention. However, i strongly believe that it is the most significant invention ever, because of its convenience and the rapidity.

First and uppermost, majority of people must agree with me, it is really convenient in every aspect of our life for the reason that it facilitates our life. In other words, it will make our life much more simple. However, it does not apply to every person on this planet, because tremendous people in this world do not understand how to utilize Internet in the exact way. Therefore, it is a complicated thing for them. But I believe that many people these days know how to get the most out of the Internet. By way of illustration, I can envision a person who wants to purchase a pizza without Internet. Consequently, he has to run over the restaurant that might locate a long way from his house. Therefore, it is really inconvenient and uncomfortable. Moreover purchasing a pizza is not the only thing we can do using Internet It can also apply to purchasing clothes, book a room or a table in the restaurant, communicating to our friends and family or seeking your other half.

On the other side of coin, Internet is the virtual world where you can find almost every single piece of information in any aspects of our life. However, there are some secret information that not every human being can access. Despite this possibility, not many group of people need it. Furthermore, it is about ordinary citizens who need their task done as soon as possible. For instance, you obligated to finalize numerous assignments from your school or university. However, you do not have an ample time to settle down. Thus, Internet is an invention that will solve any problem associated with searching new information.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I strongly believe that Internet is the most considerable invention due to its simplicity and the velocity of obtaining or gaining new knowledge.
Vns9x   
Oct 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / Too much attention on small things! [4]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People pay too much attention to the less important things in life and fail to see the larger issues. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion.

Humans are very materialistic and greedy creatures. Since, the day we first step on this planet till these days. Consequently, it hinders our view about this world. In particular, nowadays those things can be money and utility for human beings.

First and uppermost, the majority of people consider that living with a huge amount of money is the best way to obtain the happiness. Consequently, many people will try to earn as much money as possible in many different way. In other words, it can be smuggling or even worse. Of course, not everybody live that way because some of them obey to the law. But, the rest of them do. Therefore, for numerous people money is the number one priority. They do not even care how other people suffers from that. By way of an illustration, a guy whose job is selling drugs. Obviously, he does it for his own family or for oneself. But just imagine yourself if the entire world going to earn money that way.

On the other side of the coin, a huge group of people fail to observe this place as their home because of the daily convenience. To clarify it, the person who is a commuter. Unfortunately, he lives a long way from work without having any bus stop or subway nearby and so on. Hence, he will have to use his private vehicle, which contaminates our environment. Subsequently, our planet is gradually being polluted and it leads us toward global warming. It can also apply to tremendous factories that made by human for the reason that factories emit emissions such as some chemical gases which are dangerous and harmful for our miracle planet.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I completely concur with the statement due to human's greediness and lack of liabilities of our planet.

i would like to hear some critics ;D
Vns9x   
Oct 4, 2014
Writing Feedback / Security vs freedom - living freely is much more important than security. [2]

Which do you feel is more important in your life: security or freedom and independence? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

Having freedom and independence is the thing that everyone wants to achieve. Since it furnishes us with an unlimited journeys and experiences that security's life might not provide. As analysed above, I consider freedom and independence is more crucial.

Generally, being free means you have variety of choices in your life. Moreover, our life is so short to even envision about it. Consequently, it is really important to have freedom and independence simultaneously in order to fully relish the beauty of this world. Otherwise, you will feel regret once you become old because you have not indulge the freedom or independence. By way of illustration I can imagine people who live freely and travelling around the world to obtain additional knowledge rather than the person who live in a cage, scare that something would happen badly. Obviously, it is more beneficial to have freedom and independence. Of course, it really depends on the taste of the person. However, I firmly believe that the majority of people must concur with me.

More than that, it is all about having fun on this planet. Therefore, It is not the best circumstance dwelling in this world thinking about our safety. We all are heading toward one goal called happiness. In fact, it can only be obtained by enjoying our life, having family, kids, futures. Furthermore, to obtain those things freedom and independence must be included. For instance, our super stars, they always complaining about lack of happiness. It is perfectly understandable since people do not let them to truly expose themselves because living as star is really challenging, you always have to act in a right way. Otherwise, you will lose your fans. As a result, they feel pathetic and lonely at the same time.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. Living freely is much more important then security. For the reason that you can not grab happiness and picturesque world without it. Without freedom and independence means restricting yourself to be happy in this miracle world.

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