Writing Feedback / Task 1: The comparison of five favourite sports between two age groups of school aged boys [4]

The proportion of Britain male students who followed football, basketball, cricket, rugby and swimming in the age of six to sixteen divided into two age groups, kids (6-11 years) and teenagers (12-16 years) during 2010 is presented in the table. What stands out from the data reveals that there was a slight decrease in the level of students joined in all of the sports categories, except for swimming remained constant for both age groups. However, student from both groups still put football as the most popular activities among four other sports.

Turning first to football and cricket, football had the highest follower number as a whole, however the number decreased slightly from 87% in kids to 78% in the another group. Subsequently, placed as the second highest number, cricket presented about a half less compared to football for both of the age groups.

The remained three categories showed a small fall at about 10% from kid to teenager students. In contrast, the amount of school boys who joined swimming did not change at 19% which was the lowest for both groups.

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Writing Feedback / Task 1: The global water consumption and the comparison of water usage in Brazil and Congo [2]

The world's water consumption in three categories during the period 1990 to 2000 is illustrated in the line graph, and the comparison between water usage in Brazil and Congo in 2000 is presented in the table. Units in the line graph are measured in km3. At the first glance, it is evident that the line graph forms an upward trend with the level of water consumption in agricultural showed the highest level. Moreover, it can also be seen clearly that Brazil consumed more water than Congo.

There was a dramatic increase in the number of water for farming. Furthermore, It broke the record as the biggest use until the end of period at virtually 3,000 km3. Similarly, started at almost zero point, the amount of water for both industrial and domestic use rose moderately. However, industrial purposes consumed water at over than twice more compared to domestic water consumption in 2000.

Turning to Brazil and Congo water consumption, with the rate of population at thirty times more than Congo, Brazil consumed more water both for land irrigation and personal use. Nevertheless, the Democratic Republic of Congo consumed a tiny number of water at 100 km2 in agrarian use and 8 m3 per person.

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Writing Feedback / Task 1: The making process of a weather forecast report [2]

The production of weather and climate projection broadcast on electronic devices is presented in the process diagram. Although all of the data is proceed in the same computer, the steps differ initially in the data sources which account for the variation of analysis and forecasting information results.

At the first stage, three different data sources: satellite, radar and drifting buoy collect all of weather information from the space, land and ocean, respectively. Having been installed, each of the devices creates different signals in order to obtain various analysis and prediction reports. In this step, satellite transfers signals to provide satellite photo, drifting buoy's signals illustrate synoptic chart and radar is able to show the information into both of the radar screen and synoptic chart.

Subsequently, the whole facts come into the computer system in order to get the most accurate projection. This is where the process begins to unite. Lastly, the forecast report can be shared through electronic media like television, radio and recorded announcement once it is ready.

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Writing Feedback / The differences in the arrangements of Woodward University over thirty one years from 1985 until now [3]

The differences in the arrangements of Woodwards University over thirty one years from 1985 until now are illustrated in the map. What stands out from the figure reveals that the amount of infrastructure features has been minimized and replaced by some green public area.

Firstly, there are several major changes to the transport system in the university. The main road along north side of the administration building which connects it to the both of the car parks was demolished and replaced by the footpaths. Following this, the car park in the south west side of the college in 1985 has been changed to shuttle bus terminal. In 2016, a lecture theatre is built taking the place of the car park beside the biology block unit.

The university's building layout has also been different. The library which stood alone in the north-west corner of the college in 1985 has been united with IT center and stretched to the south side therefore it becomes longer than before. Subsequently, the science laboratories block has been constructed to the right of the library and IT center building associating physics, chemistry and biology blocks. It is also clear that the admin building has been rebuilt in front of the lecture theatre which is shorter than the previous one. The university landscape has also been altered where large green areas now stand in place of the buildings.

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Writing Feedback / Task 2: Violence in the media promotes violence in society. To what extent do you agree? [3]

These recent days, several kinds of media such as television programs and movies are stated as the promoting agent of violent case in society, especially for children. I believe to the statement that such programs have high potency to develop an aggressive act in the society like hurting their friends although it can also brings merit to them like increasing their awareness sense.

The first is the main benefits from having a rough film. Firstly, one of the biggest causes of bullying is fear to the others and those kind of furious films can improve their self-confidence and learn self-defence. For the example, in Naruto, a Japanese animation which shows a good ninja as the hero, provides a fighting scheme if only his friend is disturbed by bad guys. In this case, they are taught to be brave standing for good sake and face their problem bravely. They also can increase awareness in lives. Film such as Hunger Game teaches us that a good strategy and preparation is needed to avoid bad luck. Therefore, if the films are enjoyed at the right amount of time and be guided by the parents, it can be an important learning source for them.

On the other hand, we also cannot deny that furious actions in the movies can bring bad effect on he character building of a child. In this case, children in the age of 16 to 18 years-old are still in the search of their identity stage and have no strong character to filter what they see or hear. The American Psychological Association stated that there are three major effects of those kinds of media. First, our young generations may become less sensitive of the pain or suffering of others. They also may be more afraid of surroundings and more likely to behave in an aggressive or hurtful ways towards others. Consequently, rough media can affect children's character in a bad way.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that although aggressive media can become good learning source, children get more drawbacks from watching them. Thus, parent's guidance is important to build young generation's attitude.

Writing Feedback / Some people argue that intellectuality is given and cannot be changed [2]

Task 2: : Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that it can be improved

Some people argued that intellectuality is given and cannot be changed while others think that it can be developed through a number of learning and training. I would argue that intelligence, especially in children below 18 years-old can be improved through an extensive training and strong willingness.

Those who support the concept of given intellectual believe that the brainpower is inherited from the DNA of the parents thus it cannot be changed. This idea is also endorsed by Howard Gardner, a professor in John H. And Elisabeth A. who studied Cognition and Education. He stated that a person has 8 different multiple intelligences and they naturally have mastered in one or two of them but not in all of the type. He or she can be trained to be good at another skill but never exceed the given talent. As a result, intelligence for each person is different but it will never exceed the given one.

However, I do not believe this argument is the undeniable one. Intelligence is related to the brain function. It belongs to the most dynamic and developable part of the body system. According to Stephen Ceci, professor of developmental psychology at Cornell University and her colleagues reveals that adolescences who were 12 to 16 years-old experienced fluctuations in their Intelligence Quotient (IQ) rate about 20 points. They also tracked the result nicely with structural and functional brain imaging. Therefore, brain development is unavoidable and can increase by the time and training.

To sum up, although some people believe that intelligent mid is a fixed potency, there are a lot of case in which intelligent mind can be increased. We cannot deny that everyone can get a high potency in everything through a number of extensive learning and strong willingness.

Writing Feedback / Task 1: The comparison of Australian residents who visit four different public places [3]

The comparison of Australian residents from three different birthplaces who visit zoo, library, theatre and cinema in the country is presented in the bar chart. What stands out form the data reveals that majority of people tend to choose the cinema as their most favourite place to be visited except for those who are born in non-English-speaking countries.

To begin, there is a big difference in the number of people who come to the two entertainment places, cinema and theatre. The cinema has the highest visitors from native Australians and new migrants from English-speaking countries at more than 60% while residents born in other countries prefer going to library most. On the contrary, theatre holds the records as the least place to be seen from all people in Australia at approximately a third from the cinema's visitor number.

Next, the rest places are zoo and library which are education spots in the state. The rate of people who come to these places has a similar point at approximately 42% or less. However, the highest number of people who visit the zoo and library is reached by the new incomers from English-speaking and non-English-speaking countries at 50% or more, respectively.

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Writing Feedback / Task 1: The proportion of the advantages and disadvatages of Fairmont Island [2]

The proportion of the most familiar merits and drawbacks of Fairmont Island based on a visitor survey is illustrated in the pie charts. Overall, it can be seen that the majority of visitors like the people of the island and dislike the expensive living cost there.

In detail, the inhabitants of Fairmont Island become the most popular reason to visit that island representing at two-fifths of all aspects. On the contrary, they mostly claim to dislike about the high rate of living expense at under a half. Subsequently, at 30%, the exquisite scenery becomes one of the major excuses to enjoy this place although less than a third of them state that they aren't pleased of the entertainment.

Moreover, the culture and good quality of lodging are chosen by minority of tourist as the attractive side of the isle at slightly more than one-in-ten for each category. In addition, a fifth of them said that they cannot get used to the weather in this island and a very small number of people who visit there do not have a great appetite for the food.

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Writing Feedback / Task 2: Education and healthcare should be funded by the government [NEW]

Question : All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that the government should make all citizens have free access to all healthcare and education such as mandatory schools and colleges. I would argue that especially for developing countries like Indonesia and India, it is not the best policy to be applied for at least 20 years forward. Despite the state's obligation to the citizens, it can bring some drawbacks to the countries such as dishonesty of the civil servants and reducing the quality of those categories.

Those who support free education and healthcare believe that those aspects are the basic needs of humans. They believe that health and education belong to the human right. This argument is based on a report from the Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Right (OHCR) and the World Health Organization (WHO). It stated that every states have committed to protect the right to health through International declarations, domestic legislation and policies, and at International conferences. Similarly in the education, some countries such as Indonesia had mentioned in the country's opening act that a good education for all citizens is one of the state's visions.

However, discharging all of the schooling and healthcare expenses can brings some bad effects for the state. First, it can increase the rate of corruption. Nowadays, virtually all of the citizens in the world have mistrust to one another because of the reports in Panama Paper. Endorsing a huge amount of money in just one or two sectors will just increase the chance to the money smuggling. Not only this, the sense of belonging to the importance of a good quality of health and education can decrease since the lecturers and doctors focused on the side research more to fulfil their living needs. Moreover, the civilians are going to ignore their health and school because they can take them with nothing to lose.

Based on the aforementioned evidences, it is clear that free charge for all education and healthcare will not be the best choice for residents. The government can subsidize the access for those who need by enhance the scholarship programs or special hospitalizing cost.

Writing Feedback / Task 2: Limited water resources in the woldwide [2]

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand and what measures could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

In some countries, water scarce has always become a real problem. Nevertheless, at the present time, water worldwide demands have increased dramatically and make this as a global issue. I firmly believe that water crisis mainly is caused by the overpopulation in the world. Moreover, both of the governments and individuals have to find the best solutions to tackle it.

The predominant reason of the issue is uncontrollable population growth which has the ability to results in the immense number of industries and agricultural rate. Based on the recent data from United Nation stated that currently the Earth provides about 10,000 to 20,000 km3 of fresh water for human needs. In 2000, about 4,000 km3 of it has been used for domestic consumption. Since people need food and daily items for living, the increase of common needs manufacturers and agricultural fields is undeniable. Both of those sectors consume up to seven times more water than for family consumption. Yet, we can see if this level continues, there will be no more fresh water left in the world.

In terms of measures, the governments should take a big responsibility. First, they can support the scientists' research in order to find alternate water resources or modify less-watered crops in the country. They also have to enforce the law for each industry to build the water and wastewater treatment plants then reuse the water. Naturally, individuals also have a duty to keep the water exist by minimize the water consumption and use it effectively.

Therefore, it is clear that the lacking amount of water in the world is caused by overpopulation. Yet, if individuals and governments share the same responsibility, then it may be solved.

Writing Feedback / Task 2: Obesity is a major health problem in the world [3]

Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

It has become a common knowledge that one of the most spreading health issues is obesity. Excessive fat in our body can be caused by several reasons and bring bad effect to our body. However, I believe that this problem can be solved by living in a healthy style.

Unhealthy food and sedentary lifestyle are indicated to be the main cause of this problem. Fast-food such as pizzas is one of the less-nutritious foods which contain a large amount of unsaturated fat and cannot be digested easily. Furthermore, working demands make people having less physical activity for virtually all day long. The majority of a company's employees have to work more than 9 hour a day and just sit on their desk, working and typing. At night and weekend, they take more time to sleep rather than having a sport to burn their fat.

Obesity can also lead to a serious disease like heart-attack. It is the second deadly illness which can kill people without any earlier symptoms. Based on the report from University of Glassgow, the percentage of a coronary heart attack is increased to the obese people due to a block of fat may block the artery. That is why it can bring another dreadful illness.

In term of measure, there is no better option than having a healthy lifestyle. Consuming healthy foods like vegetables, drinking enough mineral water and having regular exercise belong to it. They can help the body to generate some essential amino acids and enzymes to break down the raw nutrition. For instance, citric acid in oranges can help lipase enzyme to change the needless fat into energy. By keeping a good life pattern makes our body cells have enough important nutrition to regenerate and keep fit.

To sum up, obesity brings a great danger to human life and can be prevented by keeping a good lifestyle. A small jogging or prefer to use stairs than lift to go to the office can help us to stay healthy.

Writing Feedback / Task 2: Alternative energy installation is more expensive than conventional energy [2]

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, waves, and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil, and gas that we use to power out cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is an assumption that the renewable energy from sun, wind and waves plants are more costly and difficult to build than fossil fuels for transportation and electricity use. Despite extra cost for the new technology, it would seem to me that they can bring more financial benefit due to the low maintenance cost.

It has been a common knowledge that initial cost for the alternative energy plant is higher than the conventional one. In order to generate energy, researchers need advanced research to find precise equipment size and technology. For instance, wind plant needs certain size and angle of turbine to be operated successfully. This kind of propeller cannot be found in the usual manufacturers so they have to produce it specially. It also need more than just one wind turbine to generate enough energy for even a house which means extra funding. The initial process clearly needs more allocation to manufacture new equipment and system.

However, once the plant is operated, much money will be save because of it needs less maintenance cost. When build a new energy plant or device, it is estimated to be functional for over than 10 years. The source for energy for alternative energy is abundance in the universe, so there is no need to spend more in searching it. One of the best examples is to buy a solar energized car or renown as hybrid car needs about three times more cash than petrol car. But, we can calculate for each kilometre, how much oil is needed? We can multiply it by the time we use that car. Then we will find greater number than buying a hybrid car. It is better to spend a bunch of money in the front than having invisible expenditures.

In short, I believe that alternative devices are only expensive and difficult at the beginning but bring more merits for the future. If we can use it with care, we can get not only financial benefits, but also for the environment.

Writing Feedback / Task 2: The increase on crime rate and how to tackle it [2]

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

One of the most surprising issues among people is the increase of crime rate in the world from year to year. I believe that the main causes of this problem are unemployment and inadequate education. However giving the citizens better education both in academic and life-skill are believed to be a good measure to tackle it.

People need money to live for sure. Unfortunately some of them are not well-educated and have no job to fulfil their living needs and lead them to commit crime to do that. Based on the data in United States stated there is a decrease in the level of burglary, rape, robbery and assault when unemployment was falling and vice versa. Moreover, 70% of the criminals come from a high-school drop-out or less. They don't know how to make money and get a prestigious life with their ability and knowledge. So, for an instant way to get income, they prefer to steal or rob richer people.

Nevertheless, giving them a good education not only in common knowledge, but also life-skills such as making handicraft, sewing and culinary is the best option to deal with this problem. It can help people to create their own job field and make more money from there. A research from Berkeley University reveals that a 1% increase in the education rate of all men ages 20-60 would save the United States as much as $1.4 billion per year in reduced costs from crime incurred by victims and society at large. The benefits for making more well-educated people not only take into account by the individuals themselves, but also have a larger social return.

It is clear that education is the best solution to reduce the number of criminals which are caused by unemployment and low education level. A good understanding from other people to help those who need is also good to maintain a peace in the society.

Writing Feedback / Task 1: The proportion of goods exports in EU countries [2]

The proportion of European Union countries which exported their commodities to Brazil and Russia during 2010 to 2011 is presented in the pie charts. Overall, it can be seen that Germany held the highest export rate to both of the countries.

Germany cornered the percentage at virtually a third that also made it became the biggest exporter from EU to Brazil and Russia. Italy and France became the next major states that sent their goods to Brazil at slightly above one in ten. Even though, this situation did not occur in Russia.

Less change was seen to Netherlands, Finland, Spain, Belgium, Sweden, Austria and UK which had minor proportion at less than 10% exports to both countries. The least number was reached by Finland and Spain for their products selling to Brazil and Russia, respectively. However, other mentioning EU countries placed the second rank by a quarter for the biggest EU exports to Russia.

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