Writing Feedback / Charts below show how energy is used in an average Australian household vs greenhouse emission [3]

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

greenhouse gas as result of heating process

Two pie charts illustrate the mean use of different kinds of powers in homes for Australi's citizens and the amount of greenhouse gas production in contrast. It shows that the highest amount of the greenhouse gas is released by water heating, and the lowest amount goes to cooling.

The water heating process takes 30% of total energy used and produced 32% gas. After that there is refrigerating with 7% power consumption. However, the greenhouse gas production is double with 14%. Nevertheless, other appliances almost have the same characteristic, with 15% of energy consumption and 28% gas production.

The heating process which takes the highest amount of power usage by 42%, generates only 15% gas. And the cooling category has respectively 2% and 3% for power and gas generation. so as lighting with 4% and 8% in the same order.

It seems that the heating process with the most energy usage, surprisingly produces much less gas than other; in fact, it is third to last. And other appliances which use 15% power, generates also more gas; as a matter of fact, it is second to first in gas production.

(172 Words)

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Writing Feedback / Parents and teachers task is to teach good behavior to children - by force? [4]

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children.

distinction between right and wrong

Children must learn how to react, they have to understand the consequences of their actions. I believe it is the parent's job to teach them how to stay in right path. In fact, they can punish them based on their actions. In the following paragraph, I will discuss what could be the best possible teaching method for parents.

Firstly, there are a lot of studies that show it counts as forbidden to hit the child if he/she did something bad. It could leave a lot of memories to scar them for life or even hold them back when they get older.

Secondly, one of the important roles of parents is to guide their children and prepare them for future. In addition, they must figure out a way to remain in control so that kids listen to their words and accept them. For instance, one of my family has a child who does whatever he wants and never reacts to the word "don't". he does not care if it comes from his parents or someone else. I think he will become spoiled in the future and also there is a possibility of hurting himself.

Lastly, there are a lot of ways to control children, but the crucial point is to stay fair. I mean sometimes just a talk can teach so many things. For example, I remember when I was a child, my parents used grounding as a method of control or sometimes they just banned the objects which caused the problem, like a toy gun. I believe it is a healthy attitude toward children because they both understand they did something bad and also respect more the freedom they had before.

In conclusion, parents are allowed to punish their children, as a matter of fact, it is their responsibility. And they must try to remain fair. I think a method for parents could be to take the freedom from their children which proved to be effective.

(329 Words)

Writing Feedback / Tables below present information about sales of fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas over Europe [2]

Coffee and Bananas sale statistics

The tables below give information about sales of fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables show data about agricultural products; namely, Coffee and Bananas. The given numbers compare the amount of money they made in 1999 and 2004 in UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden. All the numbers are measured in millions of euros.

The UK income from agricultural goods raised over the years for each product. There were 1.5 million euros earning from coffee in 1999 whereas the amount increased to 20M euros in 2014. Also, the same thing happened for banana but with slower paced, from 1M to 5.5M. The Switzerland sold 3M euros of coffee in 1999 and doubled the number to 6M euros in 2004, in addition, the numbers went up for bananas from 15M to 47M respectively from 1999 to 2004.

Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden amount of income from coffee increased with low speed over the years. From 1.8M to 2M for Denmark, 1M to 1.7 for Belgium and 0.8M to 1M for Sweden. On the other hand, all of them were not been successful in bananas category; like Belgium that increased the income for 0.6M to 4M. Sweden and Denmark have a decrease over the years, as a matter of fact, Sweden sold fewer bananas, started from 1.8M in 1999 to 1M in 2004. Also, numbers for Denmark went down from 2M to 0.9M over the mentioned period.

Overall, It seems that most of the countries did better over the years. These numbers were better for the coffee category that all of them improved their market. But there were two cases of step back for Sweden and Denmark over the years. Also, the UK was the best seller of coffee in 2004 and get the second place banana category, and the situation been reversed for Switzerland.

(276 Words)

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Writing Feedback / Can students study whatever they want or science and technology is a must? [3]

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

science is not everything in this world

While there are people who say it is important for college graduates to learn different subjects in university, there are people who believe that they only need courses that proved to be effective for their future. There two points of views shall be discussed, in addition to my personal ideas on the subject.

Firstly, there are people that believe when a student enters to the university must follow his/her dreams. It means that they are free to choose their major and it does not matter which one it is going to be because that would guarantee success in the future. For example, I know classmates that came to software engineering major just because their parents made them to. Most of them quit after the third semester.

Secondly, some people believe that in today's world, science and technology have the most opportunity to make money, so students should follow this path to become successful. They say that students can follow other subjects as a hobby. For example, one of my friends that were a fantastic painter studied civil engineering and also continues his patio in art. He is a successful engineer who recently started an exhibition of his paintings.

Lastly, in my opinion, people should learn what they love, because the learning process is not easy, there are a lot of obstacles in the way that a person can overcome, if and only if he/she loves his major. For example, there was a lot of coding in our major (software engineering) which is not easy and requires love and patience. I think the main reason that people quit was that they could not hold the pressure, they were not happy.

In conclusion, two different points of views were discussed whether students should continue their education in what they want or it is science and technology which is important. In my opinion, while science can bring a lot of money for one, they money does not guarantee happiness.

(329 Words)

Writing Feedback / UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college [4]

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparisons where relevant.

unemployed and educated people

The bar charts illustrate numbers of pupils who did not get a full-time work after Bachelor degree and Master degree in the UK at 2008. The charts have 4 categories; namely: part-time work, voluntary work, further study, and employment.

It seems that 29665 of students continues their study after bachelor degree, which is the highest number. After that, there is part-time work and unemployment that are fairly close with respectively, 17735 and 16235. The least amount of students did voluntary work with a number of 3500.

By the look at the second chart, we can find out that the highest numbers of students prefer to continue their study after Master degree. There are 2725 pupils in that category. After that, there is part-time work with 2535, unemployment with 1625 and voluntary work with 345.

Overall, the trends of how students behave after bachelor degree and Master degree did not change much. In both cases, further study has the first place and voluntary works have the last place. however, it shows that amount of students who did part-time work raised when students finish Master degree. Nevertheless, the part-time work still remained in the second place in both situations. Same as unemployment which is in the third place in both cases.

(203 Words)

I've always been confused about the meaning of undergraduate/graduate/postgraduate. In this essay, I counted Bachelor degree as graduate and Master Degree as postgraduate. Can somebody clarify that for me once for all? (google search doesn't help either) thanks in advance.

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Writing Feedback / Nowadays people can purchase goods from another country with just one click or phone call [2]

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.
Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

country losing its identity by selling foreign products

In today's world, people can purchase goods from another country with just one click or phone call. There are people who think that this is a bad incident because it will change the countries to become more look alike. It is a controversial discussion and thinks it is a negative progress. I am going to talk about it in more details in following paragraphs.

On one hand, each country has its own unique culture that fits best for their people. The culture includes of how they dress and what they use. For example, the culture in my country is to wear hijab, it is a way of dressing and it is specific to here. I think foreign clothes are not the best choice here, but they are available and affecting the way people dress directly. In my opinion, a country that loses its traditions will be left with nothing the future.

On the other hand, there are a few countries in the world that have strong industries, when people buy everything from other countries, it certainly going to help these countries economy. Instead, it will kill the local industries, because they can not compete against countries like China. For instance, in a period in my country, it was trending to use foreign products instead of our own goods. It led to a huge disaster in the economy and lots of companies became broke.

In conclusion, two ideas were presented in this essay. Overall, I think using foreign products can have bad effects on the countries. The country will both lose their identity and economy.

(265 Words)

Writing Feedback / The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. [3]

salmon life cycle

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates the circle of life for a specific fish name salmon from the day they come out of eggs to become adult salmons.

The eggs of this kind of fish could be found under small stones under reed plants in the upper part of the river where the water moves slowly. After about 5 to 6 month they become fry and their length grow to 3-8 cm. This is when they migrate to lower part of the river where the water current is fast. They stay there about 4 years until they become smolt with 12-15 cm long.

The next phase of their life is experiencing open sea for approximately 5 years, this is when they become adult salmons with the length of 70-76 cm. They circle back to the upper part of the river to put their eggs under the small stones.

In summary, this fish's life cycle takes about 10 years, from being born as fry, to reproduce new eggs into the upper part of the river as adult salmons.

(167 Words)

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Writing Feedback / It is better to put an entrance fee for museums [4]

Many museums charge for admission while others are free.
Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

free or paid entry to museums

While there are a lot of people who think everyone should pay an entrance fee if they want to see a museum, others disagree. I think it is better to put an entrance fee for museums and going to explain why in following paragraphs.

On one hand, the museums normally need lots of special maintaining because of how delicate the objects are, obviously this cost a lot of money. If people do not pay the fee, museums will have a hard time to prepare the best situation. For example, we had a big museum in our country which is free, they asked the government for financial support but they declined. After sometimes the museum closed. Recently a bunch of priceless artworks was found in the basement of that building which was ruined.

On the other hand, the museums always have a lot of priceless stuff and it is important to guard them correctly. If exhibition stays free and open to the public, it will increase the chance that someone hurts the artworks or tries to steal something. In addition, the museums will be so crowded that no one could put time and learn anything. For instance, there is a free museum in my city. It is the first destination for schools and because of that, the place is always full of people. It led to that, neither students nor visitors enjoy their time.

In conclusion, while some people believe that museums should be free, I disagree and tried to explain my reasons in this essay. The first reason is that museums actually need money to survive and also protect objects. And the second one is that it will filter the people so that who really wants to learn something pays the money and spend his/her time there.

(298 Words)

Writing Feedback / Increasing the fuel price will have a negative effect because it will increase the cost of transport [3]

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might effective?

solving growing traffic and pollution

While there a lot of people who think the best way of both reducing the number of cars on the street and preserving the environment is to raise the value of the fuel, Others disagree. It is a controversial issue and shall be discussed. As a matter of fact, I completely disagree with this kind of thinking. I will provide examples from my own experience to support my reasons.

Firstly, the public transportation system -like taxi and bus- use petrol. Therefore, If the government decides to raise the fuel price, taxis and buses also have to increase their fee. as a result, people prefer to use their own vehicles. For instance, I remember when the government raised the price of fuel, the public transportation became so expensive that more people started to use their own vehicles.

On the other hand, if the government starts to invest in the public transportation like railways, it will be more persuasive for people to do not use their cars. The main reason is that the new transportation system would be faster and cheaper. Also, It makes taxi and bus owners reduce their fee to attract people. For example, I witnessed that building metro significantly dropped the number of cars on the street.

One other crucial development would be to make special paths for people who want to use bicycle or motorcycle. They can also build places to rent them. I know many people that love to use a bicycle for transportation, but they either have to use street or sidewalk which are not safe.

In conclusion, I believe that increasing the fuel price will have a negative effect because it will increase the cost of transportation in general. The only way for countries to overcome issues like traffic and air pollution is to invest in their infrastructure to get the desired result.

(308 Words)