dumi
Mar 20, 2011
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] A question about teacher`s remuneration [5]
SinceAlthough it may seems fair onat the first glance, after a deeper look it is becomingwhen you think deeper it becomes clear that such a practice could be harmful. It is my firm convictionbelief that the money teachers receive should not be paid according todepend on the learning abilitieslevel of knoweldege acquired byof their students. Let us proceed to examine the reasons.
First, I can remember howin the first grades there werecertain kids in the first grades hadwith obvious learning disabilities. Our teachers gave them unceasingthe best care and attention, even more than the attention other children received, but it was in vain.AlthoughWith all the special attention they received, these kids just did not want to learn, nevertheless all the efforts of the teachers . In this case, I do not believe that the blame is to be found anywhere else teachers should be blamed but in themselves ------------------ In this paragraph I notice that you straight give the example to say why you think teachers should not be paid according to the knowledge they transfer to the children. However, I suggest you to state the reason and then give the example such as;
First, some children have learning disabilities that make them slower in acquiring knowledge. In such events, the teachers would be penalized if they are paid according to their students' performance. For example, I can remember...
Also, at the start you talk of learning disabilities of children. However, at the end it seems like these children were not keen to study. This makes the reader a bit confused as one has no interest in studies cannot be considered as a learning diability.
First, I can remember how
First, some children have learning disabilities that make them slower in acquiring knowledge. In such events, the teachers would be penalized if they are paid according to their students' performance. For example, I can remember...
Also, at the start you talk of learning disabilities of children. However, at the end it seems like these children were not keen to study. This makes the reader a bit confused as one has no interest in studies cannot be considered as a learning diability.