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Posts by sharadarige
Joined: Mar 13, 2012
Last Post: May 3, 2012
Threads: 15
Posts: 25  

From: India

Displayed posts: 40
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sharadarige   
May 1, 2012
Writing Feedback / Argumentative Essay : Animals should never be kept in cages. [3]

Hi, the essay was good. Distinguished clearly both the views.
I was a bit concerned about the paragraph 4

"Consider the following anomaly for the sake of argument," -- not sure whether we can write in this manner in an essay.
As it's an essay about our own views. why to ask questions in an essay and give an answer. rather than continue writing just with our views.
sharadarige   
May 1, 2012
Writing Feedback / People at work; job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing [5]

As most people spend a major part of their life adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.

Work life and personal life are the two key features for a person's wellbeing. These are the two aspects that are interdependent and a balance has to be maintained in order to have a healthy life. As the major part of the life of an individual is spent at workplace, it has a significant impact and plays a major role in the personal life too.

Firstly, if we pick any working day of an adult, the major portion of that day would have been spent with his official environment. As per our government rule, a person should work on an average for at least 40 hours per week or eight hours per day. The mind should tuned towards the other activities too i.e., before and after the job hours. But it is not an easy task for all individuals. The most of the aspects we do in our daily life always reflects how well we have done in the previous hours. In job, an individual will undergo immense compulsions form his superiors to get the task done. Moreover, Corporates are filled will politics and jealousy nature of individuals. Nowadays, job security is a major focus of an individual, which keeps ticking with time, due to the increasing competition from their peers and young generations. Mind is filled with all these thoughts making the life miserable.

So, if a person enjoys his work and his job routine without feeling stress and strain, by accomplishing his tasks and achieving rewards at regular intervals, that keeps the tempo of the person and motto and his aspirations to achieve greater heights will increase substantially. Thereby, his personal life will be filled with pleasure and will able to solve the things in all aspects. Thus, in conclusion I would say, job satisfaction plays a pivotal role in individual's life.
sharadarige   
Apr 26, 2012
Writing Feedback / Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world. [3]

Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Other people, however, believe that scientists have the greatest influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Both politicians and scientists play a pivotal role for prosperity of a nation. Both of these roles have a significant impact in the lives of the people about the decisions and the reforms them make. They are always seen as the inspirations and the mentors by the young generations for the exemplary work they have done.

Firstly, politicians have the capability to grab the mass number of people, as being the best orators. For example, the ex-chief minister "Nara Chandra Babu Naidu" of Andhra Pradesh was one of the best administrators. In his term, he made many reforms, like providing employment to the young generation by inviting the foreign countries to establish their IT service sectors. Law and order was under control. Transportation has been improved by laying roads which inter connect the cities and states. Water problems were solved to great extent. By using the theme "Go green", he converted the city "Hyderabad" into a clean and green city by encouraging the people to plant trees. His works, strengths and ideas were treated as an example by many other neighboring states, thereby increasing the competitive spirit among the states. These are the few important aspects for the development of a nation and their good work is always rewarded and appreciated. They are the bellwether and can influence and change the people attitude to work a better future. Any implementation and to put in practice requires the final approval of ministers.

Secondly, the credit for the advancement of science and technology goes to scientists. It's their immense work pleasure and sheer knowledge, makes billions of people to leave with peace and harmony. For any development aspect or the achievement the country possess, is driven by the scientists. For example, recently INDIA launched AGNI 5 ballistic missile, which can counter act any missile targeted by the enemies, before reaching our nation. "Dr. APJ Abdul kalam", the nuclear scientist and the ex-president of INDIA was the mind behind the development of nuclear power. These are the people who inspire the people majorly to development the creative skills.

In conclusion, I would say, politicians and scientists are the two distinct professions, who can appeal and influence the people in vast number by their works and reforms.
sharadarige   
Apr 26, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'People to be realistic or optimistic?' - grade my SAT essay [4]

Hi the way you are trying to express is good.

But a few things where we require clarity.
Optimistic: it's good the way you expressed.

Realistic: i suppose, realistic is some thing which is real or true. Assuming something and presumming the results without giving is a try is not something real.

lets consider your first example. "One example is Wilma Rudolph... Had she been realistic, she would not have tried to run or even walk"

if "she would not have tried to run or even walk" ---this is pessimst. An exact opposite of optimist.

Realistic: in sense, showing something which is by nature, not by pretending or trying to show something which doesn't exist.

i feel, this esay should be rewritten with something that suits best.
sharadarige   
Apr 24, 2012
Writing Feedback / Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel better in apartment [2]

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

With the advancement of science and technology, there is a vast improvement in the structural and architectural engineering. In the modern world, we could see the people staying in independent houses as well as in the apartments based on their necessity, comfort and social needs.

Firstly, security is one of the primary concerns of the people. In the houses, features like security, sanitation provisions, gardening, taking care of any other requirements will be whole responsibility of the house owner. Whereas, apartments are built for a group of families, who can stay in flat and form a community. They themselves will establish a small body which governs the community by taking care of providing all the provisions required like security guard, employing the workers to keep the apartment clean and neat, taking care of water facilities, sanitation, providing escalators, parking slots, etc. This provides lot of scope, thereby distributing the work among the respective families.

Secondly, in apartments people can develop socialization, celebrate festivals, can organize events etc. In a small area of land, large number of families can stay, by having the basic amenities like gymnasium, garden, swimming pool, jogging track, conventional hall to have parties, playground, etc.

In case of houses, having all the facilities available in the apartment's scales up the cost of maintenance, increasing the burden of the house owner. But individual houses will have the privacy, ownership of the property, no disturbance from the neighbours and there won't be any restrictions. In conclusion I would say, staying in both house and apartment have their own pros and cons, but it's the individual satisfaction that matters a lot.
sharadarige   
Apr 18, 2012
Writing Feedback / The most difficult thing for us is to live in peace and harmony with people [3]

The most difficult thing for us is to live in peace and harmony with people. It is perhaps easier to live with birds and animals. Why is leaving with people a problem?

IT is a noted fact that with the evolution of human being, man has inculcated many characteristics which has both pros and cons. One such character is "unable to live in peace and harmony with other people". The reason for this is due to ego or dissimilar behaviours. I agree with the given topic it's easier to live with birds and animals.

Firstly, ego is one of the attribute of a human being, due to which a person always tends himself to be superior to others. It's the tendency of a human being to always compare him with others in every aspect of life both in work and personal life. For example a couple of friends can't stay together in harmony because of one's salary is higher than other or one is intellectually stronger than the other, thereby developing complexities among themselves.

Secondly, having dissimilar behaviours or having different perceptions on certain things can lead to create disharmony. For example, in case of couples, girls have different opinions compared to boys. Having different opinions always lead to an argument, which may at later stage comes to an understanding but not in all situations. In case of working couples, professional ego comes into play thereby becoming a barrier between husband and wife.

In current generation couples who are having clashes or people who tend to live alone, developed a habit of taking care birds and animals, in order to end their boredom. Animals and birds don't possess the human characters. They are always faithful and obey their master. So there are neither arguments and nor clashes.

In conclusion, I would say nothing can be achieved easily in life. Everything requires determination, perseverance, patience and good sense of understanding others in bad and good times. Even birds and animals have to be trained with discipline and patience, so that they can listen to their master.
sharadarige   
Apr 18, 2012
Writing Feedback / ('my strong curiosity in computer..') - pragraph more beautiful and functional? [4]

Hi , i think you are writing a statment of purpose to get an admission.
SOP should represnt about you. it you, who have to put about yourself, what you are, your aspirations, your thinking etc.
try to elaborate the things and write an essay . then do the corrections so that ideas keep comming to you.

Please dont' take my words in wrong perception.
sharadarige   
Apr 18, 2012
Writing Feedback / Bribery in Politics and Corruption in Government Essay [3]

Your essay is well versed.

the regulations should be made more strict so as deter every potential sinner.
Please check this sentence. i think it should be "so as to deter"
sharadarige   
Apr 17, 2012
Writing Feedback / In your opinion what factors contribute to a good movie? [2]

In your opinion what factors contribute to a good movie?

Movies were being produced since many years. The quality of movies produced in terms of direction and pictorization has been improved with the advancement of technology. Movies are the replica of human life. Films are the director's imagination and his perception towards certain things, and are shown on the screen that can be better understood and enjoyed by the wide audience. There are different kinds of movies being produced around the globe based on culture, tradition and language. The film industry is defined based on region with unique names like Hollywood, Bollywood, Kollywood, Tollywood etc. The story of the movies are been taken from the human life's.

We have different types of movies like action, Thriller, Romantic, Art, monolithic, Comedy etc. From my opinion a good movie should contain a proper story, good presentation by actors, direction which includes proper sequences with respect to locations and scenarios, comedy which should make audience laugh to an extent that one should forget and relieve from stress and strain. Moreover, the movie can be a good message oriented or the content should be inspirational that can be widely accepted and appreciated by audience so that it helps one to learn new dimensions of life. One such movie "Sixth Sense" directed by 'Shyam Benegal' makes spectators to think and analyse the situations out-of-the box. A few more films I would appreciate are Titanic, Benhur, Black Hawk Down which gives us enormous information about history and geography. A few action movies like the lead character played by 'Bruslee' tells self-defence techniques and how to control our mind and body by mastering in sports like martial-arts, judo etc.

In conclusion, I would say movies should make the audience laugh, cry, dance, and improve the imaginative and creative skills. With the globalisation being widespread, movies of different regions are released across the world to reach the audience present in every corner of the world, and thereby giving the exposure and information about various fields.
sharadarige   
Apr 17, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Advantages and disadvantages of staying away from families. [15]

Hi Ali
You wrote well and it's relevant to the topic.
the introductory part is well versed but , the same tempo is not maintained till the end with vocabulary.
i feel rather than writing too many paragraphs with 2 or 3 sentences , you could have written with an introduction , advanatages, disadvantages and conclusion in detail.
This is what i follow .
sharadarige   
Apr 16, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'avoid causing harm and pain' - Is animal testing necessary ? [2]

Is animal testing necessary?

In this universe, human beings are the most intelligent animals with high intelligence quotient among all other animals that exists on the earth. With the evolution of human being, man's curiosity has increased to know the unknown, there by developing and honing his intellectual and creative skills by experimenting on both similar and dissimilar species living both on earth and underwater.

It is not necessary to conduct test on animals, but scientists are left with no other option because of the way we created our laws giving the priority to protect over selves. Moreover, the tests that are conducted are to discover the vaccinations and medicines to cure and prevent the species. For example, the necessary of oxygen for any species and it's nonexistence on moon is found when a rat and a dog are subjected and examined under various circumstances. Chimpanzees are having the similar behavioural patterns as that of human beings, due to which most of the test results are implemented on them before injected on human beings.

But there are certain things which are not required to be experimented or discovered, like cloning which was tested successfully on first goats to produce a similar healthy species. This was later implemented on human beings. Likewise, Buffalos are injected with medicines to produce high quality and more quantity of milk. But these are all against the laws of nature, which will have disadvantages. Anything that is adapted or consumed artificially leads to severe disabilities.. In conclusion I would, necessity is the invention of all the things. Man being the most intelligent animal with high thinking capabilities should play a vital role to protect the living species, by experimenting and observing the patterns of different living things. But his experiments should avoid causing harm and pain to the animals, which they are going through when subjected under various tests that are conducted and examined on them.
sharadarige   
Apr 16, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Are there any borders?' - genetic engineering essay [6]

the way you framed the sentences are good but short.
An essay has to elaborated and explained in detail with various examples .
there should be introduction, body and conclusion.
So please elaborate in detail
sharadarige   
Apr 5, 2012
Writing Feedback / KEEPING ANIMALS INSIDE ZOOS; DISCUSS [2]

Discuss some of the arguments for and against keeping animals in zoos.

Freedom is the most important ingredients of life for any living being. The whole society and its evolution are based on the freedom with which one has acted. The qualities and characteristics of the living things are associated with the freedom, without which one cannot claim themselves to be alive. Freedom is necessary for every living thing as long it won't harm anyone. Likewise the above mentioned discussion can be argued in either ways.

In my opinions animals are to be set free. The best place for them is, to move around in forests rather than placing in zoo, snatching away their freedom of living. Keeping them in zoo makes their life miserable by addicting them to the daily routines. Most of the animals and birds movement is restricted to the cages they live-in. The mammoth animals like elephants and carnivorous animals like tigers, leopards, lions etc can't stay in the minimal restricted area, as they require huge place to live and by nature they are flesh eating animals, which makes them to hunt other animals. Birds like ostrich, requires acres of land to stay, as they keep running most of time. Chasing or running away from the hunters and poachers are the characteristics of the animals which are not feasible in zoo. Providing an artificial environment can't replace the natural ambience which is available in forests.

On the other hand keeping the animals in zoo makes them secure from natural hazards like diseases. In most of the counties the wild forests are burnt due to natural calamities , destroying the wild life. In zoo, animals can be given medication and benefit many researches whereas in forests they will be hunted by poachers. With the increase of population forests are being destroyed and in search of food , most of the animals are entering into cities thereby killing the people which is one of the cause of subjecting the animals to zoo.

In conclusion, I would say unless we provide freedom and security to these animals, by allowing them to stay in forests it is dangerous for human beings as well as for animals.
sharadarige   
Mar 29, 2012
Writing Feedback / Should arts-related entertainment venues such as museums and art galleries be free? [2]

Should arts-related entertainment venues such as museums and art galleries be free of charge for the general public, or should a charge apply for admittance?

Art is a form of expressing one's inner thoughts in the form of music, dance, sculptures, and carvings on stone etc. In the olden days people used art as the means of communication. Today, in many museums and art galleries we could see the various things displayed for the people's attraction. The government spends a huge amount of money on expedition.

Museums and art galleries are important, as they give enormous amount of information and knowledge to the students. One would know about the tradition, culture and history of the places. One would become aware of the dressing and the clothes the earlier generations used, the weapons they used for self-protection and hunting, the mode of their transportation, mode of communication, the festivals one used to celebrate, the different ways one would express their joy, architecture and the materials used for the construction of houses, religion, the food they had for healthy living, the exchange of currency, the technology that existed etc. One can get the awareness of these things when they visit museums.

For example, the carnivorous and herbivores animal "dinasorous" became extinct long back. Most of the governments spend huge money on expedition and discovery of various things to know about the human evolution and these things are necessary to know our origin. The advancement of science and technology is based on the earlier generations. Whatever the knowledge one acquires is by comparing earlier generations with the current generation and what one has to do for a better future. Most of the current methodologies we use today were discovered ages before. For example, even today most of the people use pots to store cool water. Limestone is still being used for house constructions.

Student read a lot in books, but they can understand better by giving practical exposure like visiting museums, art galleries etc. In conclusion, I would say the government should charge a minimal amount for the maintenance and they can give exemption from charging visitors on special occasions. Moreover, these are the tourist's attraction and the places of education.
sharadarige   
Mar 29, 2012
Scholarship / self uniqueness, preserving culture, achieving big dream essay - feedback [2]

It brings me back to the memory when I started my university life -- " It reminds me about my life in university"
Your second paragraph should be re-written
the other paragraphs makes sense, but as a reader it's not appealing for me.
please rewrite this essay
sharadarige   
Mar 28, 2012
Scholarship / Subjects such as Art, Sport and Music are being dropped from the school curriculum [2]

Subjects such as Art, Sport and Music are being dropped from the school curriculum for subjects such as Information Technology. Many people children suffer as a result of these changes. To what extent would you support or reject the idea of moving these subjects from school curriculum? (IELTS Practice tests with answers)

The current generation is the most competitive than the previous ones. People are crazy about success irrespective of the field they choose. Attaining the pinnacles and achieving the impossible in their chosen verticals are dreams of today's young generation. Today's world is of mobile technology and information is widely accessible and can be spread in a matter of seconds.

These days, a person without a mobile considers himself as a handicapped, because of lack of means to communicate and access the required the information immediately. Information Technology became a part of curriculum in schools, colleges, and workplace and in all disciplines. One has to be aware of operating computers. But this does not mean that it should replace other subjects like art, sports and music from the school's curriculum. These things should also be given equal importance as in par of other activities.

Each student will have his own dream to pursue, apart from the regular academics. Art is the form of expressing ones feelings. It helps to communicate the information to a wide population in the form of paintings, dance, eye movements etc. A deaf person can understand by seeing a play, likewise a blind person by listening. Music makes the person to relax, it's the form of meditation, and it improves ones memory and concentration. Sports are the most important activity for everyone. It's improves mental and physical strengths. It gives the sportive spirit, develops ones self-confidence and the ability to handle the situations even under dire circumstances. It teaches the team work, as most of the games are played in teams.

On the other hand, accessing the computers for longer durations per day makes the person lonely and helps him to live in virtual world by playing computer games and accessing internet, thereby disconnecting from the society and friends. A person will be deprived of physical activities making him weak in many aspects of social life.

In conclusion I would say, children should be encouraged to learn the information technology, but not by discarding them with other activities of their interests. Nevertheless, children should always be encouraged to indulge in art, music and sports.
sharadarige   
Mar 28, 2012
Writing Feedback / Reflection Essay on a cognitive-related school activity/event [2]

" Out of the many cognitive-related opportunities I was offered, the two week long overseas learning trip to Cambridge, UK under the 2010 Reach Cambridge programme was particularly significant because it demonstrated to me the value of learning beyond the given curriculum and the classroom setting." --- Split this sentence

" Exploration of the more philosophical ideas of the various topics in Geography was done not only through group discussions in the classroom setting but also through several field trips to research institutes, museums and nature reserves such as the Wicken Fen where I witnessed how geographical concepts come to life. " --- Split this sentence

"Paying closer attention to one's surrounding is all one needs to discover the beauty of Geography as an inter-disclipinary subject that integrates Physics, Chemistry, Economics and many other subjects, addresses all aspects of the Earth and draws synoptic linkages between the human and physical environments." --- Not clear for me

Long senetnces won't give a clear idea.
Please read the essay once you complete writing
sharadarige   
Mar 27, 2012
Writing Feedback / Now more and more workplaces are hiring an equal number of women and men. [NEW]

Now more and more workplaces are hiring an equal number of women and men.
Do you think it is a positive and negative development?

Gender discrimination is a disease, which was being followed since ages and it is still continued even today in many parts of the world, especially in Asia and Middle East countries. This is a major obstacle for the progress of the nation. This discrimination has to be eradicated from each corners of the society.

Today in many developed countries like United States of America, UK, Australia, Germany etc. there is no discrimination among men and women. Both men and women are enjoying similar respect and equal powers in every aspect of social life, whether it's in workplace, Sports, Army, Air Force or in any other discipline. Most of the CEO's of Multi National Companies are women. Late " Kalpana Chawla "was the first women, who reached space after Rakesh Sharma. She brought honor and glory to the nation. Women have already proved they are in par excellence than men in many fields.

For example, in INDIA women are always marginalized in the society, in the field of politics and education. They are circumscribed with the boundaries of home, kitchen and family. They are not allowed to explore the outer world and their intentions are discarded without allowing them to express their desires. But today government is giving 30% reservation to women among all the verticals and helping them to fetch education and join every discipline of their choice. Prime Minister "Indira Gandhi" the great granddaughter of Jawaharlal Nehru ruled the nation for consecutively for two terms (10 years) bring reforms and took INDIA to great heights. She became a bellwether to many politicians and youngsters. Even today she is taken as inspiration and her ideologies are being followed.

In conclusion, I would say, Women are the wealth of the nation and they should be given equal opportunities by encouraging and educating them.
sharadarige   
Mar 27, 2012
Writing Feedback / Equality in workplace for women [3]

Nice points but should have contructed in a much better manner.
GOOD luck. it's a good topic and you can elaborate it by taking it completly on side
sharadarige   
Mar 25, 2012
Writing Feedback / the progress of nation and the welfare of the people versus the outer space [2]

some people think government should spend as much money as possible exploring outer sapce( for example travelllin to moon and other planets)

In every country government collect tax from the people for the various developmental activities and for the progress of nation. Every year the government plans and allocates the budget proportionately for various aspects depending on the current situation and the nation's interest.

These aspects include the welfare of the society, internal and external security, research and development, new schemes to be implemented for the people based on the poverty line to bridge the gap between have and have not's. Apart basic needs it is also necessary that a portion of the budget has to be allocated towards research. The progress of the nation is dependent on the innovation and advancement in science and technology.Space research is one of the advancement in science. Today many satellites are being placed in the orbit for better communication, to provide weather forecasts which is necessary for farmers to plan in advance the crops to be cultivated, to find out for any cyclone effects thereby alerting the people near the shores to save their lives, to find the threats from our neighbouring nations so that the security forces can be alerted etc.

For example today the world is facing water shortage. Because of the space research and with the inforamtion avilable about the biggest start of the universe "SUN" we are in the position to find the alternatives and to reduce the usage of water . Today human life is much dependent on the hydroelectricity which is produced from water and due to the advancement in science the hydroelectricity is replaced by solar power heaters and generators to produce electricity. Windmills is also an another option that was found to produce electricity.

In conclusion I would say the progress of nation and the welfare of the people not only depends on the providing the basic needs but also by doing the rapid advancement in science and technology , information technology thereby anticipating the future needs , so that we doesn't have to depend on other nations for any resources to full fill the needs of the people.
sharadarige   
Mar 25, 2012
Undergraduate / 'only pupils of similar interests should be given admissions in schools?' -essay [3]

Hi,

The essay should have atleast 250 words and it should be elaborated as much as possible and not expecting the reader to assume the things.
You can give examples and your opnions .
conclusion should be good enough and it should summarize what you have expressed in your introduction and body of the essay.
each paragraph should have a few sentences.
sharadarige   
Mar 25, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL ESSAY advice from grandparents has no use for grandchildren ? [3]

NICE points you have captured.
The first paragraph could have been articulated in a better mananer.

"For one thing, people can learn from what their grandparents did wrong or improper when they were immature and then to avoid that. As grandparents were young, they were likely to hurt some good friends or their parents because of the lie or willfulness, and they felt regret until now. After knowing that, grandchildren are able to have an opportunity to avoid this kind of blunder and remorse. Further, the triumph of grandparents also can be replicated at some degree. Running company successfully, working eminent as an inferior, or whatever it is, they accumulated plenty of experience, which we can figure things out that still adaptable to present society and use it"
sharadarige   
Mar 22, 2012
Writing Feedback / salaries paid to professional sports people are too high [NEW]

Some people believe that the salaries paid to professional sports people are too high, while others argue that sports salaries are fair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In the current generation with the increase of awareness and improvement in infrastrucure, people are encouraged to pick sports as a profession. Earlier sports were played to establish and improve the relationships between two or more different communities or nations by conducting matches at different intervals. This helped the people not only to improve the trade and tourism but also provide a source for their livelihood.

Today sports persons are paid heavily due to the rise in competition, but the salaries are restricted to the most prominent games. Their salaries depend on the sport and the team in which they are involved. The reason being behind is , many multinational companies want to expand their market share in various nations, and sports is good source to endorse their products by sponsoring an individual player or by conducting leagues at national or international levels. For example although Hockey is India's national game, the large number of viewers are attracted either towards Cricket or Tennis. This makes the companies to invest in these two games so that they can generate income and pay lump sum amount to the respective sports Board.

Paying high salaries also lures the players making them greedy to make more money, which indulge them in malpractice, by doing match fixings, taking dose to gain stamina before the game starts. This disappoints many viewers losing their hopes on their favorite team or athletes. This was observed earlier in many sports events.

Nevertheless, the amount earned by the players is huge, but they are the icons of our nation making everyone feel proud. Many players are involved in charities, social service organization etc. For example the famous cricketer "Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar" started his own charitable trust helping many destitute children to get education, like wise "Steve Waugh" has his own Cancer hospital proving treatment for free of cost. No sports person attains such pinnacles without pain, hard work and dedication. Though they are paid heavily, a part of it is also used for the welfare of society. At last they are bringing glory to our nation.
sharadarige   
Mar 21, 2012
Writing Feedback / The reason why nearly half of married couples in USA get divorced - essay [4]

You have an idea, but deprived of the way to express in words.
Formation of sentences are not appropriate.
Please rewite the same essay again and again so that, first you should feel it is written properly .
once you are done writing an essay , read it aloud. This helps you to find the mistakes.
sharadarige   
Mar 20, 2012
Writing Feedback / Argumentative Essay - students with good grades should be paid [2]

Argumentative Essay - Should students be paid for good grades?

Motivation is necessary for an individual to achieve better results irrespective of the type of work one does. One will be inspired when they are rewarded with awards, honors, scholarships or gifts on doing an exemplary work in the field of their choice. There are different parameters in which a work is judged in order to give the accolades.

In many universities students have to fetch the maximum grades to earn accolades. Some universities provide scholarships, internships, awards for the best performer. Providing monetary benefits to students is appreciable to an extent, as it increases the competitive spirit among students and helps them to pay the academic fees. Today, many students are going abroad to get better education. But due to financial crisis it is not possible for everyone to pay the semester's academic fee. In these cases universities has to conduct test to provide an aid or scholarships based on the grades one has achieved in order to support students if they are lacking financially else the society might fail in providing an opportunity for a deserved person . In order to implement these, universities should be funded from various organizations which may not be possible at all times, as this was observed during the economic recession period.

Providing monetary benefits to students solely based on grades is not efficient, as this may lead students in a wrong direction to focus on grades rather than to achieve excellence in the field of education, research etc. Achieving grades without gaining knowledge is not of any use, as one may neither improve the creative skills nor the thought process will be changed.

In conclusion I would say, students with good grades should be paid but they should be measured with different parameters like consistent performance, the nature of the job that is executed and delivered with respect to time period and skill.
sharadarige   
Mar 15, 2012
Writing Feedback / younger workers are preferred than elders [2]

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and for this reason younger workers are preferred. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Replacing the elder people with younger ones in the organizations can be viewed in either of the two directions. We observe in the past 60 years retirement age has gradually decreased from 62 years to 59 years thereby giving opportunities for younger ones to get into the organizations and get their feet wet. The reason for these changes is due to the increase in population, globalization, foreign direct investments etc.

Due to the drastic progress achieved in the science and technology and to cope with the increasing competition among the global market, the work culture in various organizational sectors has been upgraded thereby replacing the workforce with efficient resources like machinery, skilled labour etc. to achieve the results within the required span of time. In order to get bigger benefits the thought process of higher officials has to be changed to implement new techniques, which is possible by employing younger people, as they are ones who are more exposed to the upcoming technology, having an enthusiasm and zeal to learn things and can stretch to adapt the changes much earlier than the elder ones. The new work culture involves both physical and psychological stress which has to be sustained which is not possible by the elder work-force with their increasing age and less flexibility to accustom with changes and growing demands.

But this doesn't discard the people who are approaching their retirement age. They are the ones who have gained an enormous experience, can persuade the younger generations by their contributions and achievements. Retirement is only to provide a pavement for new people to face the new challenges.
sharadarige   
Mar 15, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Earth is the only planet' - Planet Earth essay [3]

hi, you have an idea to write , but lacking the skill about how to express in words . Practise writing on more number of topics and u 'll improve.
sharadarige   
Mar 13, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Personality is a replica of an individual traits' - Personality essay [2]

Research indicates that the characteristics we were born with have much more influence on o ur personality and development than experiences we had in our life. In what extent do you agree or disagree?

Personality is a replica of an individual traits i.e., attitude, social endowments, skill etc., which one has acquired over a period of time by encountering various experiences. It is even associated with the natural endowments i.e. Intelligence, strength etc.

Every individual born in this universe has a few characteristics instilled that can be either unique or similar to other individuals. But these are the attributes which help one to acquire additional characteristics over an interim by mingling with people, observing and learning from different sources. A few natural endowments like excellent grasping power, good memory are those which are unique, but in order to retain these characteristics one has to practice by learning and educating continuously. For example "Michel Phelps " the world's fastest swimmer who has accorded with laurels for achieving 16 Olympic medals , is an inborn talent of having an enormous amount of energy that helps him to sustain without being exhausted even after swimming continuously for an ample number of laps . This made him the best swimmer of the world. But in order to attain such esteem, one has to acquire dedication, confidence, perseverance, guidance and motivation which can be possible only by successfully crossing the hurdles which fetches the experiences, which "Michel Phelps" has inherited in his voyage to become the best athlete.

The personality of a person is not just by the characteristics one was born rather it is by how well an individual pursue the things there by simultaneously improving the skills , character etc and more over it can be an influence of the most famous people on ones life .
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