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Posts by devabe2005
Joined: Dec 25, 2012
Last Post: Aug 9, 2014
Threads: 46
Posts: 97  
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From: India

Displayed posts: 143 / page 2 of 4
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devabe2005   
Feb 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay)Difficult hobbies are more enjoyable? [6]

Besides reading books can help them to create their own world with different characters of the book and provide greater pleasure in imagination. Though it is an easy hobby, nobody can deny it by saying that it is not enjoyable as it is an easy hobby. --> i think you can give example "for example" or "to ilustrate" while giving proof --> For example, reading books can help them to create their own world with different characters of the book and provide greater pleasure in imagination. Though it is an easy hobby, nobody can deny it by saying that it is not enjoyable as it is an easy hobby.

To conclude, it not the name or difficulty --> i think you missed is in between it and not --> To conclude, it is not the name or difficulty
devabe2005   
Feb 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Many children these days have their own mobile phones. advantages/disadvantages [3]

QUESTION:
Many children these days have their own mobile phones. What are advantages and disadvantages? Give your own opinion.

ANSWER:
Mobile phones play major role in communication. Parents are giving mobile phones to their children to communicate effectively. It has both merits and demerits. I believe that children using mobile gadgets are very harmful for their cancer.

Some of the advantages of cell phones are parents want to talk their children with the help of global positioning system. For emergency, children will learn to talk or involve in conversation effectively. Children can relax with mobile or chat with their friends. Parents can use it for motivation to completing their home work or come to home on time.

On the other hand, children will play game on the cell phone. They are addicted towards the games which will spoil their studies and due to that result in obesity problem in children. Continuous usage of cell phone results in stress and anxiety for the children. Their fingers are affected due to nonstop usage of key pad in mobile. Some children used to talk with their friends for long hours which result in high phone bill for their parents. While travelling, children are distracted by their phone call and met with accidents and even death in some cases. Children health is affected by magnetic waves in it. They may suffer severe disease such as brain cancer.

To conclude, misusage cell phone by children will harmful for their future. They are easily distracted by attractive features of the mobile and spoil their studies. Limit usage of mobile phone and proper parent supervision help children to learn and operate the mobile in extraordinary way of success in their future lives.
devabe2005   
Feb 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Some say that reading newspapers and watching TV news is a waste of time. [2]

QUESTION:
Some say that reading newspapers and watching TV news is a waste of time, because it has no direct connection with people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ANSWER:
Due to increase of news readers many news agencies are publishing variety of newspapers and different news channels all over the world. Some people believe that reading newspaper and watching television news is a squander of time. According to this statement, I am completely disagreeing that it helps to acquire wisdom and intelligence for the people.

Newspaper reading helps to be informative and boost confidence. People can be vigilant and protect their property if any theft in their area by reading newspaper. It makes them to be alert and prevent further theft in that area. Sudoku, Crosswords competition and puzzle makes people more knowledgeable. Sports news motivates youngster to participate more sports competitions and helps to become athlete. Moreover, job classifieds in newspaper helps job seekers to attend more interviews which result in higher success rate of job offer. World news section in newspaper helps people to know about global happenings and their affairs. Brief description about the newspaper assists people aware about particular situation and clear confusion about specific information. Government announcement about facilities and funds helps people to utilize and get on time. Advertisement in newspaper improves to aware about new products and their discounts. Newspapers alleviate to read discoveries and scientific research. It ventilates the grievances of the public and form the public opinion. They keep public and the government in close contact.

Watching television news yields to know about famous personalities and their way of life. Latest weather report and announcement about storms and cyclones helps people to be safe. Political leader's speech, work and involvement help to gain knowledge about the politics.

To conclude, reading newspaper and watching television news helps in various ways to the people. This news is informative, advisable, judgment to the people. It is vital to every one's life.
devabe2005   
Jan 31, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Children prefer electronic games to other games and toys.Why is it happening [2]

QUESTION:
Children nowadays prefer electronic games to other games and toys. Why is it happening? Is it a positive or a negative trend?

:ANSWER:
Rapid technological revolution, Software Company's delivers attractive, entertaining computer games to target children which make them to elude other extracurricular activities. It is a negative development, continuous playing computer games which affects children both mental and physical health.

Electronic games with audio effects engage children to play for long hours. Children are not allowed outside for playing without supervision. So they choose computer or other electronic games to fulfill their gaming spirit. Due to lack of space in apartment or home to play, they selecting computer games as their leisure time activity. Computer games give score and level to motivate children to get higher score and to elevate higher levels in the game.

Moreover, computer games which make them addict and result in increase of obesity in children. Both the parents are working which make children isolated at home without supervision they are continuous playing electronic games and they lack communication and team building skills. Kids are deviated from studies which make them violent and aggressive. Children will cheat their parents that they got fever and put leave to school and continue to play online games.

To conclude, electronic games attract children than any other games. Due to various causes like easy availability of computer system, mobile and other gadgets at home this makes children to play the games. There is various health risk involved in continuous playing of electronic games like depression, stress, anxiety and so on. It is a negative development of children playing electronic games and avoiding other games.
devabe2005   
Jan 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS - TASK1 - Write a letter to your friend thanking him/her for guiding interview [2]

QUESTION:
IELTS - TASK1 - LETTER WRITING
Write a letter to your friend thanking him/her for guiding you for an interview. In your letter
- Explain what happened at the interview.
- Say how his guidance helped in the interview.

ANSWER:
Dear David,
Thanks for your guidance and tips for the interview of Team leader position at Tata Consultancy Services Company. Your suggestions and advice are very useful for me in my interview yesterday and I got selected in the interview.

I reached half an hour before the interview time and submitted my resume at the reception. After waiting for one hour they called for the technical discussion. Most of the questions they asked was same as the in the interview book which you gave last week. It is easier for me to answer the entire question as I already prepared from the interview book. Thanks for the interview book and I will be grateful for your help.

Moreover, in human Resource round they asked about team management, project handling skills which you had explained and given some additional points last week make me excel well in my interview. The additional points make me better in my interview. Thanks for your time and support for preparing my interview. I will give you party on this weekend. Once again thanks for your support.

Yours lovingly,
Devaraj
devabe2005   
Jan 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / The squirrel on the roof, basking in the morning sun [2]

about the time when I am done with my own morning routine, bath and toilet, meditation and yoga, and I come to feel the morning freshness, -->that is missing between the time you are not saying which time --> about that the time I was doing my morning routine, bath, meditation, yoga and I come to feel the morning freshness,
devabe2005   
Jan 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS- Most schools planning to replace sports classes with more academic sessions [4]

Thanks dumi, arun,
I forget to proofread this essay that is why some places it is incomplete.

They have to play and study both important in their mental and physical development. --> They have to play and study both are important for their mental and physical development.

I didn't form the below sentence properly
According to their daily results they have study in extra classes if they receive lower marks in the evening. --> According to their daily results they have study in the evening extra classes if they receive lower marks.
devabe2005   
Jan 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS- Most schools planning to replace sports classes with more academic sessions [4]

QUESTION:
Most of the schools are planning to replace sports and exercise classes with more academic sessions. What is your opinion on this change? How is this change will affect children's life in your view?

ANSER:
Due to technology revolution new subjects are introduced in school curriculum every year. To cope up and cover all the subjects school not allowing for students for personal training classes and ask them to attend academic classes. It is a burden for young children to learn all the times in the school.

Moreover, School are working hard in compete with other schools for their academic results. To attract more students and to show its reputation, it forces students to study harder even in holidays also they are keeping special classes to cover all the subjects. They ask children to stay in class than going to play in personal training period and allocate staffs who is free will take classes for them.

In addition, one or two months before examination, personal training classes are changed into special examination and their results will be available on next day. According to their daily results they have study in extra classes if they receive lower marks in the evening.

Furthermore, for children it is mental torture to study of whole academic year and they are eager waiting for their annual holidays. Due to continuous study and not attending personal training classes makes children obese, stress and anxiety. Even some students are forced to suicide because of continuous study and mental torture by the school.

To conclude, according to me, children are allowed to play in their sports sessions which make them relax and concentrate more on their studies. They have to play and study both important in their mental and physical development. Continuous study makes children risks of depression. School should allow their children to participate in sports activity makes them more intelligent and confidence to face their academic examination and get excellent results.
devabe2005   
Jan 30, 2013
Graduate / Fundamentals in Computers, Teaching and team work; SOP - Masters Computer [2]

The intention of putting my knowledge to use for the development --> putting better usage placing or laying
or
The intention of placing my knowledge to use for the development
or
The intention of laying my knowledge to use for the development

The undergraduate program this has given me a sound understanding --> avoid this already mentioned the name
The undergraduate program has given me a sound understanding

sound understanding of the fundamentals at both the theoretical as well as practical levels. --> "at" usage is wrong use "of"

sound understanding of the fundamentals of both the theoretical and practical levels.
devabe2005   
Jan 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Drop sports classes from school? [5]

These all qualities will enrich their personality and physical and mental health. --> and repetition -->These all qualities will enrich their personal, physical and mental health.
devabe2005   
Jan 29, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS LETTER-historical building in town and the city council wants to pull it dow [4]

QUESTION
There is a historical building in your town and the city council wants to pull it down, because there is no money for repairs. You are not happy with this decision. Write a letter to the city council and say

- Why is the building important?
- Suggest a solution to finance the repairs.

ANSWER
Sir/Madam,

Subject: Concern on decision to crack down of Perambur Museum building.

I am devaraj living in venkatraman street, Perambur, Chennai, India. Recently, I saw the news about push down of Perambur Museum building. I was shocked after hearing this news because you know that this building is built by ancient king and after him, the British had kept as museum where it contains ancient sculptures, antiques, coins, artifacts and so on. Moreover, the style and architecture of the building depicts ancient arts and culture. It is store house of wisdom and it is a source of information for everyone in our locality.

Due to shortage of fund you had taken this decision but it is unfair to locality. I and locality people are very much worried about decision of crack down of the historical building. As you know it is symbol of our area. Everyone in this area wants it to be renovated and museum should be opened back in the same building so that local people will get benefit to acquire more information about the historical life. Please reconsider the decision of crack down of the building.

Yours faithfully,
Devaraj
devabe2005   
Jan 29, 2013
Undergraduate / Came to Vancouver - GROUP WORK/ PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE; UBC SUPP [2]

chanllege is a small presentation.--> challenge --> typing mistake

study at China North University , I helped traffic police -->study at China North University, I helped traffic police--> space before comma
\
I helped traffic police to orginize with classmates at a busy road. --> organize --> spelling mistake
devabe2005   
Jan 29, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Parents are concerned with their children's' up-bringing than before.opin [3]

QUESTION:
These days Parents are more concerned with their children's' up-bringing than before. Taking care of the children seems necessary. Child-care training course for parents can be the best way to update them with this matter. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with it? Give your opinion and where necessary give examples to support it.

[ANSWER]
Nowadays parents are unaware about child care activities and worried about their children nurture. By getting training from child care professional will help them to bring up their children in flying colours. I completely agree that parents should learn about techniques and skills about child care by learning through child care training course.

Undoubtly, parents are indirectly guiding and teaching their children who observing their activities. By attending child care training they can provide unwavering support to their children by spending more time with them. For example, daily children after coming from school, parents should spend some time with them to ask about the home work and their daily classes and problems they are facing at school. This makes children to improve their confidence and self esteem and parents with the help of guidance from the day care course show the way to solve their children problems.

Moreover, parents can learn how to treat and respect their children by the day care course. So that they must not be strict with their children or treat their children like slave. So that children will gain bold and courageous to handle any situation in their future life. They will be respectable individual in the future.

In addition, parents should have special skills to analyze their children by studying at child care training and they can acquire skill how to analyses their children talents and skills. They can observe their children special skills and train their children at young age to become tennis player, dancer, and software professional do excellence in their field. As we know the proverb, "As you sow so shall you reap". According to the proverb, parents should be motivating and inspirational to their children to success in their activities.

To conclude, parents with the help of child care training, they can bring up their children with perfect attention and care. Moreover, parents should show affection, acceptance, and unwavering support to their children to become respectable and talented individual in their future.
devabe2005   
Jan 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / Childcare training course for parents. Agree or Disagree? [7]

Children are the pillars of this brick and mortar society. --> i think mortar spelling mistake modern society
Children are the buttresses of our society.

mind-set of the of people -->mind-set of the people

In introduction you didn't mention agree or disagree. So in first paragraph you have to mention agree or disagree.
devabe2005   
Jan 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Countries develop economies improve living standards.degradation social values [6]

QUESTION
Most countries develop their economies to improve living standards. Some people afraid that it will cause degradation of important social values. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

ANSWER
Economic improvement boost country's growth in all sectors. It eradicates unemployment, poverty, homelessness, child labor and so on. Though it has advantage some people believe that it will diminish vital social values.

Due to high standard education and professional people relationship are reduced. Competition and passion to earn more money make people to work for more hours which result in isolation of social contacts and even condense family relation. For example, Information Technology professional who working for more hours to meet his deadlines in his project loses his family members at dinner and arrive late at late night which effects the family relation. People become selfish and will not share or care others. Due to sedentary lifestyle people become obese and faces many health risks.

Development in economy attracts more foreign investors to invest and open branch in the country and creates more job opportunity. Attracts overseas skilled professionals to get high pay. Provides high class education which intrigue foreign students. In addition, it enables scientific research discoveries into desirable products and medicines. Exporting and importing goods improves the economy and provides foreign goods at cheaper prices. Increase in industry an factories provide high quality good and products. High tech transport facilities and infrastructure alleviate fast arrival and disposal of goods with in the country.

To conclude, by analyzing both the view, I deduce that economic benefits like high standard life, high pay job is pivotal and also people have to maintain and improve social values and compassionate to the society.
devabe2005   
Jan 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Some people think that museums entertain people, while others it is to educate [4]

QUESTION
Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of the museum is to educate. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

ANSWER:

Museum helps to know about the history and their sculpture. Some people think that museum should attract while other believe that it should teach. I believe that it should provide both education and entertainment.

Providing extra music and lighting effect of the historic monuments attracts many people. It is easier to learn about it by giving special description and drama about particular custom helps easily to understand the past customs. In additional, different way of expressing the item will be fun. It will be best pass time if it provide interesting way of displaying the items.

Museum helps to learn about ancient culture, customs and way of life. Scientists and students able to research on the historical antiques and culture. People can acquire wisdom by visiting museum. For student it is more interesting by observing the ancient item than reading in books. People who are involved in numismatics can easily collect more information about the coin from the museum.

To conclude, in my opinion museum providing both education and entertainment to the visitors will be enjoyable than a pass time.
devabe2005   
Jan 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Museums are meant for educating people or entertaining them? [3]

skeleton of skeleton of -->typing mistake

The role of the museums in teaching visitors that they do not know previously is pivotal. --> something is missing not conveyed properly

The role of the museum is to teach visitors and that is pivotal
devabe2005   
Jan 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / Advertisement encourages to buy in bulk, whereas it should promote high quality of the products sold [5]

QUESTION:
Advertisement encourages consumers to buy in bulk, whereas it should promote high quality of the products sold. Do you agree or disagree?

ANSWER:
Advertisement helps to create awareness about latest products and their offers. It motivates people to buy more products but is should promote the quality of the product which it already sold. I completely agree that the advertisement intrigue people to buy additional products but it is not showing importance to the quality of the product.

Advertisement attracts people to buy more products because it motivates them to buy by providing offers and discounts. For example, the recent advertisement in newspaper which shows,"buy one and get one for any product from this shop, offer valid till end of this month". People are attracted to this offer and buy plenty instead of one to save their money.

Moreover, advertisement shows additional feature of the product which convince consumer to buy more items. For instance, Pepsodent tooth paste advertisement in which they are showing that it will relieve from tooth sensitiveness which makes people to try and test which result in more sale of Pepsodent tooth paste

In addition, the advertiser uses celebrity to endorse the product for the advertisement. To illustrate, In India famous cricketer Sachin Tendulkar endorse "boost" health drink and saying "Boost is the secret of my energy". This advertisement makes cricket fans buy more boost product and result in high rise in sale of the product.

In a nutshell, advertisement motivates people to buy more product than improving the quality of the product. The advertiser has to take extra care in quality of the product. The quality and additional benefits should be added to the advertisement so that it result in benefit to both high profit for the advertisers and also to the society.
devabe2005   
Jan 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / strict rules of children's behavior, children are allowed to do anything they like [2]

The strict education of behavior means that --> The strict education system shows that

which contributes to the growth in the responsibility.--> which improves responsibility of the children.

So parents have to remember the balance --> so parents also should maintain the balance
devabe2005   
Jan 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Nowadays people becoming parents later in life. Some think not good development [5]

QUESTION:
Nowadays people becoming parents later in life. Some think it is not a good development for the family and for the country. Do you agree or disagree with it? Give your own opinion.

ANSWER
People are delaying parenting to well settle in their life. Some people think that it is negative development for the family and for the society. I completely agree that old parents are not able to grow up their children.

Aged parents have financial security to educate their children with high class education and facility. Parents are working in well established career so that they can concentrate more on their children. Enhance emotional preparedness helps them to be good parent for their children and give proper guidance to their children. Parents have established committed relationships both together to bring up their children and cultivate honesty, openness, or some other agreed-upon behavior in their children minds.

On the other hand, aged parents have very fewer children than they expected due to age related infertility. Old parent lacks energy, inactive and they cannot play with their children. For example, it is difficult for them to take children to the school. They have many health issues which makes them to more concentrate on their health than on their children. Social stigma of appearing old parent compared to their children friends' parent is younger. They are very less life-time to spend with the children and they will die before their children complete undergraduate degree.

In a nutshell, I feel that though old parent has maturity and stable financial but they energy less for parenting. Young parents can do better to bring up their children in flying colors and extra care for their children than the old parents.
devabe2005   
Jan 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Doing jobs for a long spell ; Good or bad..? [3]

he is doing a very high salary job --> working is better vocabulary -->he is working in high salary job

they may think it is better to stop the job. --> it is not clear whether they are not working properly or they are resigning the job --> they may think it is better to resign the job
devabe2005   
Jan 24, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Some ex-prisoners commit crimes after being released from the prison. Cause [6]

QUESTION:
Some ex-prisoners commit crimes after being released from the prison. What do you think is the cause? How can it be solved?

ANSWER:
Ex-criminals are committing crime after released from prison. I think there are various reasons which make them involve again in crime and solutions to solve this issue.

In prison, criminal meet other hard-core criminals who makes them more violent and learn other ways to do crime by joining inmates of the prison. After released from prison they are abandoned by the society that induces them to do again illegal activity. Due to mentally ill, egoism, inferiority complex, rage makes prisoners to commit again offence. Drug addicted criminal after releasing from prison involve again in drug which induce them in burglaries, accident and murder. Jail warden torture the prisoners as they are stress buster which turn them sadist and after release they will show their anger to other person.

Some of the solution to ex-criminals to be better human beings are they should be given proper counseling and rehabilitation. Involve them in community service which is a type of humiliation and is a part of educate them. Giving vocational training and job opportunities after releasing from jail makes them more responsible and avoids them to do felony. They must be monitored and supported by the government for better living. Drug addicted prisoners should be detoxified and given periodical counseling to relieve from drugs. Government should initiate scientific research on criminal behaviors and proper treatment to change their attitude and deeds.

In a nutshell, criminals are human being they have to be treated for their psychological illness and behavior patterns. Rehabilitation and community service makes them proper living being. Education and job opportunity is a solution for preventing ex-criminals to do offense.
devabe2005   
Jan 24, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Many countries spend large amounts of sports events. Agree or Disagree [4]

QUESTION:
Many countries spend large amounts of money on world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead these monies can be spent on encouraging young children to take up sports at a young age. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

ANSWER:
Large amount required to spend for Olympic Games and foot ball world cup. Some support while others think that huge amount should be spent on young children to train them as sportsperson. In this essay, I strongly agree to the statement, huge amount should be spent to motivate and to shape young sports athletes.

Countries should spend enormous money for special training for the children who as eager to learn. Motivate youngsters by providing scholarships who are winning in the local competitions. They should provide well equipped facilities and amenities for sportsperson. Moreover, they have to form a successful team which contains trained coach, energetic athletes and medical practitioner. It strengthens patriotism among youngsters to serve for the country and make the country proud by winning world record.

On the other hand, organizing sports competition will economically profit for the countries. They try to show to best way to attract investors and business. It will attract many tourist to their country and it result in more foreign currency transaction. Moreover, local industry like tourism, hotels, restaurants and so forth benefited by the visitors. It increases commercial and residential development; common that people return as residents; there by demand for housing and other services. Heighten local awareness, interest resulting in a great sense of pride and ownership. It improves local community's visits a change to experience other cultures which broadens understanding.

In a nutshell, though spending money on conducting sports event will earn great revenue but investing monies for youngsters will improve sports in the country. More athletes would be motivated and win for their country and which improves status around the world and give pride and proud to their nation.
devabe2005   
Jan 24, 2013
Writing Feedback / advantages & disadvantages of high rise apartments - (IELTS essay) [5]

used "high rises" in four places instead use flat, apartment

it relieves the stress of living away --> I think better usage for stress is loneliness or solitude
used "stress" in three places instead use anxiety

individual houses . --> typing mistake --> individual house.
devabe2005   
Jan 23, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Do children behave better when they are rewarded or punished? Discuss both view [4]

QUESTION:
Do children behave better when they are rewarded or punished? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

ANSWER:
Children are given remuneration for their excellent work and penalty for their bad activity by the parent. Compensation and penalizing makes children in a better way of life. In this essay, I will explain the both views in detail.

Children are motivated by prizes given in both school and at home. Some children do extra-ordinary work hard in their studies to get their favorite wish to satisfy by their parents. For example, In India kids demand their parents to go for them park for holiday if they receive first grade in their examination. Moreover, complimenting children for their excellence boosts their self-esteem and better individuals in the future. Nevertheless, children are over pampered by their rewards and it affects their studies. They become greedy demanding for expensive items to compensate their excellence.

On the other hand punishment for children is better way to bring them in correct path. Children refrain doing bad activity in fear of receiving punishment again. There are some disadvantages of punishment result in psychological problem like lower self-esteem, cheating their parents and telling lies. Some children run away from home due to parent's merciless beating without any explanation. For instance, Report says that missing children in all over the world are increasing due to the parent's harsh treatment. Punishment makes children life-long resentment or hatred in their lives. Some children become prey for their parents stress buster.

In a nutshell, I feel that children should be given affection, appreciation, acceptability and availability of parents make children better way than giving strict punishment which influence their life. By love and caring parents can correct their children mistake.
devabe2005   
Jan 23, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Money spent for in.national sports events /sports training to children [5]

like, galleries, tracks, and so on. --> comma after like you can avoid --> i think typing mistake

extra points like
providing scholarships for young children to continue for special training
giving huge compensation and other benefits for winning athletes to motivate youngsters to train and win the competitions.
devabe2005   
Jan 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Globalization:Negative sides should not be forgotten. [5]

anybody at anytime anywhere --> i think "any" is repeating it will better go for other vocabulary like --> anybody at anytime around the world

fast foods and neglect their own culture and traditions. --> "fast foods" you didn't mention briefly just given the name it will be better if you elaborate the fast foods --> eating at fast foods, trying different food at fast food or eating junk food at fast-food restaurants .

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