devabe2005
Feb 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay)Difficult hobbies are more enjoyable? [6]
Besides reading books can help them to create their own world with different characters of the book and provide greater pleasure in imagination. Though it is an easy hobby, nobody can deny it by saying that it is not enjoyable as it is an easy hobby. --> i think you can give example "for example" or "to ilustrate" while giving proof --> For example, reading books can help them to create their own world with different characters of the book and provide greater pleasure in imagination. Though it is an easy hobby, nobody can deny it by saying that it is not enjoyable as it is an easy hobby.
To conclude, it not the name or difficulty --> i think you missed is in between it and not --> To conclude, it is not the name or difficulty
Besides reading books can help them to create their own world with different characters of the book and provide greater pleasure in imagination. Though it is an easy hobby, nobody can deny it by saying that it is not enjoyable as it is an easy hobby. --> i think you can give example "for example" or "to ilustrate" while giving proof --> For example, reading books can help them to create their own world with different characters of the book and provide greater pleasure in imagination. Though it is an easy hobby, nobody can deny it by saying that it is not enjoyable as it is an easy hobby.
To conclude, it not the name or difficulty --> i think you missed is in between it and not --> To conclude, it is not the name or difficulty