Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:Student's loss interest in teaching profession [2]

Hey Guys,

I hope to receive your feedbacks on my essay..thank you.

TASK:In many countries, the young generation has lost interest in the teaching profession. What are the factors and what would be the solution.

Since the dawn of time, teachers have proven their importance in the area of education. However, as generations have passed, it is apparent that for some reasons students have lost their interest in pursuing a career in teaching.

Ever since technological developments were made, the roles of educators were gradually replaced by the provision of computers. Many internet users have felt greater convenience on learning lessons through online materials. Thus, this has led most people to believe that the teaching profession would become obsolete in the near future. Apart from that theory, many have also regarded teaching as a low-paying job compared to other careers. An instance of this is commonly observed in countries like Philippines, wherein most of the graduates from educational courses end up having jobs in the call center industry. They took a course in education for the sake of having a higher qualification, and then aim a profession from a different field which has more attractive incentives.

In the goal of preserving and renewing the teaching profession, the state should consider in implementing some amendments to rectify the situation. First of all, salary levels of educators should be raised not only to motivate the existing teachers, but also inspire the students. Secondly, teaching methods should be revised to incorporate modernization of technology with the role of educators. With the use of advanced machines, teachers could focus more on other areas to further improve the standard of learning.

Although many things may have changed in the modern world, it is still an undeniable fact that society still needs the help of teachers. Moreover, it is yet too far that their purpose would be replaced by machines. Therefore, any possible means should be taken to encourage the young in taking up this profession.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:Teenagers encouraged to work part-time.Good or bad? [4]

Hi, as always I am looking forward to receive your feedback and suggestions...

TASK:In some countries, teenagers are encouraged to work part-time. Some people say this is good thing while others say it is bad. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is observed that young people in some countries are advised to gain experience through temporary jobs as it is beneficial not only to themselves but also to their families. On the contrary, others including myself regard this as undesirable since the negative impacts caused outweigh its positive impacts.

People in favor to this practice claim that, allowing individuals to experience and feel being in a working environment at an early age would give them a better perspective on what they would want for their future career. Furthermore, being able to discover and learn one's skills earlier would give them enough time to develop it. Other than that, the money they will earn would be a great help to support their financial needs while studying.

However, there are some who oppose to this idea because it imposes a grave threat to a person's education. Teenagers tend to be complacent whenever they experience financial independence from their parents. Thus, usually situations end up having them disregard the importance of education. Aside from that, having a part-time job causes delay in one's education since time needs to be divided for work and studies. Students who want to have an ideal load at school while having a job are bound to receive lower grades as a result.

In my opinion, at a teenager level, one's primary focus should be schooling. If a person has the necessary resources to support himself in being a full-time student then he should not allow any disruption to finish his course as early as possible. It is undeniable that having a part-time job brings good things but since it is harmful to a person's education then I am strongly against it.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:Popularity of mobile phones to young people [7]

Hi Guys,

I appreciate if you can give feedback on my essay. Thank you.

TASK:Nowadays, many young people say that mobile phones are the most important thing in their life. Do you think the popularity of mobile phones to young people is a good or bad development? Give relevant examples from your own experience.

Nowadays, many young people consider mobile phone as the most important thing in their lives as it keeps them constantly organized and it provides much convenience for them to reach out their families and friends. Despite all these positive aspects, I think that the popularity of mobile phones to the young generation is a bad development.

First of all, many young owners of cellular phones are struggling at school because they are distracted most of the time with their phones. Games and applications installed in phones have occupied much of their time, leaving them lesser time for their studies and other school activities. Similarly, internet capable phones help influence the young ones to become more interested in chatting and social sites rather than doing school works. In my college days, I was once addicted to a certain game on my cellular phone. I have spent most of my time trying to reach a higher level to show-off to my friends. That goal has led me to my lost in interest on doing my homework and I ended up failing one subject in that semester.

Secondly, juveniles who possess mobile phones have great tendencies to become materialistic. They would not only purchase a phone because of its functionality but also for its brand. Relatively, these do not come at a significant and inexpensive cost. Furthermore, most of these juveniles are students so they would need their parents to support them financially for what they want. An illustration of this unfortunate trend can be seen almost everywhere these days, wherein most teens at an early age own phones which are worth twice the salary of their parents.

This clearly shows that the negative impacts brought about by mobile phones are harmful to a person's education and character. Therefore, I highly discourage the young ones to be overly dependent on mobile phones.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:Young people becoming less respectful and polite these days [8]

Hi guys, I hope to gain some feedback from you on how to improve my writing.Thank you.

TASK:In some countries today young people are less respectful and polite to others. What could be the reasons behind such behavior? What can be done about it?

Society brings changes to the lifestyle and culture of an individual as it influences each and every person to become someone who is socially acceptable by the people around them. Nowadays, it is evident in some countries that the younger generation has become less respectful and polite towards others. Numerous reasons have been said as to which aspects in a society might have caused these changes.

First of all, most young people believe that the world is cruel because they perceive that being a good samaritan will invite more chances of being pushed around or bullied. Furthermore, it is said that parents who trains their children to practice politeness are ironically molding them to be weak members of the society in the future while the opposite yields future strong leaders. Thus, youngsters have resorted to become tough and rude individuals in order to survive in this type of environment.

Another reason is the influence brought about by peers and parents. As the saying goes, "tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are". Most juveniles have the tendency to think, dress and act like the people around them because they perceive it is the only way to blend in a group and be accepted. Naturally, if a young individual tags along a group of disrespectful friends, eventually he will have the same attitude sooner. Similarly, parents also have a great amount of influence to their children because they are looked up to as role models by the latter. Thus, every action and gesture seen in their parents are considered morally good.

Basing on the reasons shown, it is a fact that young people are persuaded to show less respect and kindness these days. However, these circumstances are not considered uncontrollable and unavoidable. Many solutions can be done to address these problems and one of them is the role portrayed by parents at home. Parents should continuously teach their children the importance of morale values and they should always guide them to become good members of the society in the future. In addition, parents should also be aware to the kind of friends their children are having, those who are bad influence should be avoided.