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Posts by Junisha111p
Joined: Jun 4, 2015
Last Post: Sep 8, 2015
Threads: 11
Posts: 21  
Likes: 4
From: Germany
School: Kyp

Displayed posts: 32
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Junisha111p   
Sep 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / Parent should give smartphone to their school kids. [3]

Technologies have given many facilities to human being. People take advantage from the technologies and sometime start using it for wrong purposes. Using of smartphones is full of advantage for student, but some students are getting influence badly from smartphones too.

Requirement of quick information is increasing day by day. In that smartphone are very useful asset to use. In this competitive world, most of the things depend on the information, such as information about the subject before the exam, information about the occurrence of the events. There will be great loss if people will not be well informed, in such cases smartphone are most helpful thing to utilize. It includes the feature such as quick internet, Wi-Fi, easy massaging facilities, which avails almost all information and help in action that save lot of time. So use of smart phone is very much useful.

Connectivity is very important for everybody. No matter if person is young or old. Connection provides many opportunity, making connection and being in touch with fellow student are very easy in the smartphone. Such as, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn are the most celebrated social media where student connects to each other and get to know about their life. Sometime these connections helps student to find out opportunity. A world wide use massaging application what's up has bring revolution in sharing information. People are creating groups of discussion where they can clear their problem and take advice. Altogether it provide good source for one to improve their life.

However, everything has merit and demerits, and it is with smartphones also. Some students are getting deviated from their actual path, such as getting trap in the wrong group. Some people start using it to watch pornography movie, mms, and chatting addiction. It is also true that in the age like 18-20 most of the student did not get the sense of maturity and most likely to fall in the wrong trap. It is depend on the parents and their instruction on the student to utilize the smartphones.

in the aforementioned reasons, smartphone has multiples of advantage, it has bring the world in a small screen. it avails the facility which was almost impossible before 50 year. It is always helpful to use smartphones for student with good instruction of parents.
Junisha111p   
Aug 21, 2015
Writing Feedback / It is primarily through our identification with social groups that we define ourselves. [2]

"A man is known for his social activity and how well he is in the society" how perfect this line can guide people. Sometime social group will divert people more their goal. Sometime society will help people in good advice. So, in the mention line, I do not agree with writer completely due to following reasons.

First, the identity of any person cannot be only judge by his identity in the social group. Person is judge by his capability is work in his interest field. Now a day, people start judging another person on his social activity such how much he is active in general participation, but it is not the actual measurement of a person identity. In the modern world where Facebook, Twitter and what's up has made people and activities in these website are called as social activity similarly group on these website is called as social group, on the other hand person would not have even met 90 percent of people in such group. If somebody has not done well in his life or not doing the same social group will make his fun. People work in the room and innovate such a good invention which change the life of people and give an identity to inventor. For instance, Thomas Alpha, inventor of electric bulb, he has not a good social group or he was not very much activity in social activity, but through is talent and hard work he has change the world and did true social service by providing electric bulb. It is clear from this passage that person true identity is not judge by his social activity.

Similarly, society, which contains different people with different mentality, has different thought. If someone is very much active in the social group then he will present his thought for advice then there are possibilities that he may not receive a good advice. The way a person has decided his dream or work cannot be judge by other person completely. So, society some time misjudges the thing and will give bad advice. Galileo, one of great observer of his time, has experience that earth is not flat but spherical shape. When he has presented his idea in society, society people almost become his enemy, later he has sentence for death. So, society is not always good in the judging things.

However, sometimes society changes the life of many people. As mention in previous paragraph that society has almost all kind of people. Some people are truly talented in some skill, which inspire many people, for instance, suppose a person, who has not a good motive to drive, lack of advice, if he is in social activity then he will observe people and their activity. There are chances that he will choose his career out of it. He may take the advice and get a clear idea about his future life. Clearly, society did give a good thing for some people, but a true picture is that a person should be good in balancing his life in social and personal life. It will developed is skill to interact people and developed inter personal skill.

In the aforementioned points from the passage, It is quite elucidated that social group sometime misguide people. Some people do not understand the feeling of other and start commenting something which is not good for his future. It is also mention that some time society leads people a good direction in the life. So, person should connect with social group and be good in his work which will give him a real identity.
Junisha111p   
Aug 21, 2015
Writing Feedback / Students need enough time for adaptation in a new environment abroad [5]

As the world is changing, high school students are more likely to continue their education in international university compared to in the past in which people preferred to study in local campus.

As the word is changing, option for study, even high school, are changing. Most of them are want to push their boundary unlike to past generation.

cheers
Junisha111p   
Aug 19, 2015
Writing Feedback / 'a perfect balance' - Country must invest equally of art and military. [2]

Military and art are the two different but most vital part of any developed country. Art shows the cultural development whereas military shows security development of country. Between art and military, as author suggested, both should get equal preferences, but in my view, country should give slightly higher preferences to military than art due to following reasons.

First, military protects the country and are the symbol of security. Basically military development also signifies the development of country. If military status is weak for any country that that weaken the country development, for instance, in terms of terrorist attack, if country has week military resources that terrorist will find it an easy door to enter in to country and destroy all natural resources, moral and cultural values. Take Afghanistan as a example of this situation, it has week defense and almost every terrorist group generate from there or other terrorist group also made their origin. Due to weak defense, Afghanistan is lagging in terms of good education, technical developments and foreign investment. So, it is clear that a defense can leads a country in to safe developments.

Similarly, all citizen of country do not wanted to development. Some of has very different mentality in terms of development and cultural growth. They do or create violence as rape, murder, robbery, verbal harassment and religion fight. To control domestic violence and made a peaceful livings for other citizen, military play main role. In election time, when two group start making low that sometime divides the country in to multiple parts and all try to favor their own leaders. Even such situations some time create severe domestic violence. So, that is military that control the violence and helps country to elect a deserving candidate.

However, when a foreigners visit any country, they see the art and cultural development compare to military development. Tourism, for any country, mainly increases due to art development. So, art is also a very important part for representing a country to the world. So, government should not ignore art. The best way for a country to represent itself to the world is to developed art and military strongly.

In the aforementioned passage, it is quite elucidated that a country needs to develop their military for security and domestic violence control whereas an art development represents country culture. Both of the part are inseparable parts of country, if government ignore any one then will leads to bad images for country. So, a perfect balance is very much required for military and are development, but military is a higher preference because in create a peaceful environment for art developments.
Junisha111p   
Jul 13, 2015
Writing Feedback / One should imagine first and then get knowledge; Imagination is important that knowledge. [3]

Knowledge and imagination is hands on hands in any work. Without imagination knowledge has know value, similarly without knowledge imagination has no value. People generally imagine based on his knowledge. Almost all innovation has happen with imagination, but behind that imagination there was a handful of knowledge. In the above suggested line, I do not completely agree with the author with following reasons.

First, without knowledge the imagination is difficult. In college and university, first professor teach the student about the subject, further student try to realize those knowledge and imagine more about the subject. On the basis of their imagination, they do academic projects on the instruction of college professor. So, first people learn about the things and then they use it in real life after that they go for new imagination. Basically, imagination is nothing but inspiration of work, for instance a thief will almost every time imagine about his skill of stealing. He will think that how to improve his skill, how to do better stealing in the specified location. Basically, he has basic knowledge of stealing and then he will think about better stealing skill.

Similarly, suppose a people had imagine that they will made a machine which will follow the human instruction. Then, they will think that how to embed the instruction in machine so that it could sense itself and start follow it according to situation. Now, they need skill to do programming those instruction, but if they do not know about programming then their imagination will not be able to complete. People generally imagine according to their circumstances for example Thomas Alpha E has imagine about the electric bulb, but behind his imagination, he has knowledge of electricity. He had clear knowledge that electricity is going to supply power by which a bulb will illuminate. So, knowledge always force person to imagine above their strength.

However, without the imagination knowledge has less value. In college,when professor taught about a topic suppose Moment of Inertia effect while a passenger is moving in car, then he expect student to imagine it properly because moment of inertial can be feel instead of learning. In the other hand, If student has learn about the subject, but he does not have clear imagination then he wont be able realize the subject properly. Whenever he will face new problem on the same concept then he wont be able to solve it with full confidence. So, knowledge and imagination are inseparable for any work. If some scientist, with knowledge, would not have imagine about telephone then it would not have been possible to connect with our friends who is living thousand of mile away.

In the aforementioned reasons in the paragraph. imagination need a initial knowledge. Without knowledge imagination could not be more effective. In the paragraph one and two, it is elucidated that behind any imagination, knowledge has to play sufficient role. In third paragraph, it is clear that knowledge and imagination are required for any innovations.
Junisha111p   
Jul 13, 2015
Undergraduate / Because of a video game someone's online and off-line social life may be ruined. College Admission. [2]

Hi Alleged,

first you did not introduce your topic properly--
you can introduce like-

Integrating with people is a key to expose ourself in the world. As much as, one will interact with people, he will be able to learn and improve himself. There are multiples of way by which one can interact with other, some of them, by which, I collaborate wit people are followings.

please follows similar way when you write next time.

Keep Writing!
Junisha111p   
Jul 13, 2015
Writing Feedback / Playing out door games are the best solution to remove my stress and have a carefree life. [3]

We have advantage for both if we will take stress or if we will not.

what you want to say?

As we reached to adulthood our responsibility, dedication and requirements also increases and our growth becomes very important part of our life. We have advantage for both if we will take stress or if we will not. I believe that it is important to give more devotion to what ever work given to you or if you have any target to complete. But one should not feel stressful about it, one should always enjoy there work. In my opinion i would prefer to play some out door games if i want to remove my stress. Mostly, i feel very relaxed after playing some out door games though i have ample of reasons to select playing to come out of my stress.

I will write it--

When a person reached to a youth age, his responsibilities also increases simultaneously such as study, responsibility of secure career. the choice is depend on individual that weather one wants to work hard in life towards a certain goal or simply enjoy adulthood in futile way. However, one should make a good balance between work and enjoyment. He should play sport keep his mind and body clean, and he should work hard to secure a good career.

Let me know what you think
Junisha111p   
Jul 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / Governments must support financially major cities because it preserve national tradition. [3]

Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.
Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.


Response-

National tradition is influencing in the major cities by influence of technology, but in the village it is still preserved. The stated points do not carry the complete truth about the culture heritage of the country due to following reason.

First, Government ensuring the financial support to the major cities only. In that way government is giving less attention towards rural area and town. it is total contrary that focusing in the major city could preserve the nation heritage because mainly heritage of nation preserved in the rural areas. Cities, where people are completely aware of technology, malls, nightclubs, are changed their view from their native culture. By in contact of internet, people are tending to adopt western culture. They are forgetting their root, such as now a days, people are meeting online from different country and getting married, in that way one person has different tradition and another has different. So, they are not able to preserve their tradition.

However, in the rural area such as in small village where technologies has not impacted much, people are still following their tradition. Youth are taught to follow own tradition such as marry in traditional way, native language, festival, worship of God. By following enlisted topic, in reality, preserve tradition, for instance, when two people in same country are marrying and practicing their native tradition then they will passover same tradition towards children. If they would not follow tradition then how it would be possible for them to taught their kids. In the give two contrasts, it clearly shows that people from the rural area preserve national tradition compare to people who are from major cities and not following tradition.

Furthermore, it is true that in the major cities, there would be some national heritage where people still follows traditional culture, but it would be very difficult that people are living their life in traditional way. In cities, in country like India, where most people depend on employments in the corporate sector, they work late and they sleep late, their culture is completely changed from their traditional one, when they gets holiday they do late night party, which is not a tradition of India.

In the aforementioned reason, it is quite elucidated that if government wants to preserve national tradition they should support rural area and motivates them to follow national tradition. Similarly, government must encourage all corporate sectors to follow their own traditional culture.
Junisha111p   
Jul 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. [3]

you should not use word "strong" in conclusion.

you can say--
In the aforementioned reasons, It is clear that travelling in group led by tour guide is not as adventurous as tour alone because Individual put their effort to get acknowledge about new thing.----

Let me know what you think.
Junisha111p   
Jul 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / It is more beneficial to complete independent study than to attend college. [4]

It has been a quite a debatable topic for many scholar student that they should not attend college and do study independently. It is suggesting in the topic that one should complete his study himself. I disagree with suggested with following reasons.

Please check your introduction. main idea should be convey properly in introduction and in conclusion.

Keep writing
Junisha111p   
Jul 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / Scandal are good for development because they inform people better than a good informer. [3]

Scandals are the like corrosion to the country growth. In the mention line write has suggested in favor of scandals by saying that it informs the people, I do not agree with the writer point of view with following reasons.

First, scandals are the germ with hinder the transformation of country towards good. Generally, scam happen with country money and other resources with related to country growth. Politician, who is not willing to see the change, does scam. Such as, suppose central government has delegated bridge building projects to a politician. In place of making the scripted bridge, he has manipulated it in terms of ingredients use in bridge making. By doing that he was able to make money, which he was not supposed to. Due to lack of good ingredient, bridge may fall and can harm human life greatly. Some companies also do scam in reference of tax which is very much required for a developing country in further growth. So, scam always harms the country in terms of human life, development.

Further, hen scandal use to happen, then it generates hatrate and very negative wave in the country or society, which affect the mentality of many people. People start believing that they are living in very bad country or society. In the same way, it affects the mindset of youth, who are future of country. So, one scandal can leads a multiple of negative aspect in the present and future of country. Moreover, it makes bad images of country to other country. For instance, when scandal has happen to one country, then other country will get to know through media. So, a bad image would develop. If they want to invest in country where scam is regular then they will not invest or invest less that could harm a scandal country greatly. For instance, FIFA world cup was supposed to organize in Brazil and Brazil politician has done a big scam in terms of organization then FIFA committee will think twice to organize FIFA world cup in Brazil in future. Which can cause huge amount of loss to local people in terms of money, tourist.

Similarly, if scandal does not brought in to the justice then it motivate other company, politician or even people to do such bad activity and make money. Basically it gives positive signal to bad activity, crime. That may cause country growth severely. However, to knowing about the scandal is not required, it is bad activity and everyone knows it.

In the aforementioned point and paragraph, it is quite elucidated that scam always leads a bad wave and generator of crime. It hinders the country growth. So, scandal should not happen in the country. It affects the mind set of youth and coming generation.
Junisha111p   
Jul 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / On narrowing the generation gap between parents and children-academic writing [4]

Hi Baniu,

Welcome to the family!

But,[quote=Mr Baniu]This story just demonstrates a change in attitude towards children, which involves understanding, can eliminate the estrangement in a family.
as the father tries hard to repair their relationship with patience when his son is in trouble, he eventually successfully reconnects with his son. This story just demonstrates a change in attitude towards children, which involves understanding, can eliminate the estrangement in a family.[/quote]

where is the story?

To conclude, the narrowing of generation gap should be based on mutual understanding between parents and kids through their joint effort. It will contribute to the harmonious atmosphere in family, and the happiness of each family, will lead to the well-being of the whole society

Here, I have spotted few mistakes.

I found little connectivity issue, but overall, it is good content.

Keep Writing!

junisha111p
Junisha111p   
Jul 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / People often receive advice to "follow your dreams", more emphasis should be placed on picking goal. [2]

Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to "follow your dreams," more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.

Reason: Many people's dreams are inherently selfish.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.

"Magic of thinking big" this proposed line is absolutely true in reference of achieving big. Thinking is always leads to a goal which motivates to

dream big and achieve big, and people to follow their dream. In the proposed line, writers indicate that one must choose a worthy goal. I do not completely agree with the mention point due to following reasons.

First, for a person, picking a goal is somewhat depends on his circumstances, his social group and media. People always thing about the society where they live, and their surrounding drives them to do better. Suppose a person, who is living in the jungle, is not aware of the society then

also he will think about his jungle society. He may think that today he have to fight with tiger, may be about becoming the king of jungle.

People, who are not very intelligent, learn from the society and set their goal, no matter, they are genuine to goal or not. for instance, Shakira, a

famous pop singer, her music teacher has suggest him that she would not become a singer, but now she is made is possible. According to society, she has not selected a worthy goal, but she had believe in his goal and she achieve it.

Similarly, Some people, after dreaming big, start thinking that their situation would not allow them to achieve their dream, but it is true that
always people, who has follows their dream gets succeed. for instance, Thomos A Edition, inventor of electric bulb, had dream that something would illuminate with electricity, but people start giving him adverse situation by saying that it is impossible. He tried thousand of experiment and finally achieved what he has ever dream of.

Furthermore, if someone has limit himself that he is not worthy of certain dream then it only means that he has limited his power because

everything is possible, if someone believe in that. Setting a high goal always lead to big results. If today, our scientist would not have dream that

people can talk each other if they are thousand of miles away, then it would not have been possible ever. For Wrights brothers, it was almost enigma for them to think about human flying, but they believe in themselves a worthy of dream and made it possible.

In the Aforementioned reason, dreams are always make man worthy. Their are enough potential in every human being that he can achieve their
dream in any circumstances. It is also clear that people who has rejected for their work, they had achieve highest in that. so, dreaming big and setting big goal always make man worthy of that.
Junisha111p   
Jul 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / I can gain more by travelling inside my country - it has still so many things to discover. [5]

Travelling is one of the most powerful activity that has the capability to improve ourselves. By travelling, we not only take a vacation from our routine and a break from our ordinary (and sometimes boring) life, but we also get the opportunity to break new ground, to broaden our horizons and to change our points of view. However, I think that we may get more advantages when we travel inside our country rather than when we go outside it. Below I am going to give reasons and examples to strengthen my opinion.

Similarly there are lack of appropriate comma place.

Let me know what you think.
Junisha111p   
Jul 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / "Is popular culture the strongest influence on a young person's identity?" SAT Essay [7]

In a world overwhelmed with the brands of globalization manifested in a standardized way of living, eating, behaving and acting, starkly different views rose on the fore while asking whether cosmopolitan culture or popular culture has the final say and the strongest impact on youth's identity.

Regarding Comma's in sentences..

--In the world, overwhelmed with brands of globalization, manifested in a standardized way of living, eating, behaving, and acting, starkly different view rose on the fore...

Please find the appropriate place for comma.

let me know what you think
Junisha111p   
Jul 4, 2015
Writing Feedback / Poor decision makers are depending on their emotions the most [2]

People who make decisions based on emotion and justify those decisions with logic afterwards are poor decision makers.

Emotion and logic are two different aspect in the decision making. In the recommended lines, authors suggested that decision should always be made by emotion. I do not agree with the purposed way of decision making with following reasons.

First, emotion is, in generally, lent to wrong decision because it generally gives importance to those thing which are attached to person. For instance, suppose a person has done crime and dragged to courtroom for justice, by coincidence the judge is his father. now the situation will be difficult for his father, if his son has commit crime then he has to give punishment, it is logical, but emotion will always force him to give decision in reference of his son. Suppose he try to justify decision with logic then also he will land to only one decision either punish or forgive. In this type of situation, one can not justify with decision easily because father and son relation has strong emotional attachment. so, emotion always force to decide with attachment and memories with the object.

Similarly, when person makes decision with logic he has to be very strong because emotion ask him to change the decision because emotion has more power over mind. For instance, In war time, a solider fights for his country,if his country has not a good reason to fight instead they were suppose to not fight, but due to cruel leader, all solider are fighting. Reasons are clear that they have attachments for their country. Adolf Hitler sends millions of solider in war in WW-2. Soldier knows that Hitler is wrong, but they were defending their country because they had attachments with their country, but,they were not logical. It also clear from this paragraph that emotion has greater rights on logic.

However, decision made by logic, generally, gives good result. Because mind search all pros and cons in the decision and then goes to conclusion. Suppose a student, who wants to do higher study and facility are not adequate in his home town.His emotion will force his to stay back home for good mummy food, childhood friends and family, but if he goes by logic then he will make his career better, and will be able to serve country better.

For the aforementioned reasons, it is quite clear that people, who makes decision with emotions are generally lend to wrong result, they could not justify it logically, reasons are obvious that emotion give more reasons to decide something compare to logic and mind.
Junisha111p   
Jul 1, 2015
Writing Feedback / It has been suggested that an educational institute is the better judge of students career [2]

Topic - Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.

In the given topic, it has been suggested that an educational institute is the better judge of students career. In other word, educational institute should decide the career of a student. I do not agree with the given argument with the following reasons.

First, now a days, educational institute are mainly money orientated. They do not care about the dreams or future of a student. If they are going to decide the career of a student in any field then he will feel difficulties in survive. For example, they have a strong test facility which could channelize the student to respective career. Suppose if they have one then what is the guarantee that student would succeed in that. Many scientist and field pioneer has not even attended the college or thrown out of the college, because either they were too curious, or institute has mention that they are not appropriate of their respective field, such as Thomas Edition, Einstein.

Furthermore, in current scenario, admissions in colleges are mostly depends on the entrance exam. Suppose, a student are very much interest in Mechanical engineering field and wants to enter in some recognized educational institute. He could not get the cutoff marks for that institute, then institute would decide that to offer him another course, but students are not interested in that. if he accept offered course which he may not like then he would not do better, and he will do struggle in that field.

Similarly, there are thousands of student who are trapped in to field which they do not like, but for college tag. Nobody can make some body learn until and unless someone does not want to learn. If university does offer a course where a student does not get fit then his whole life is going to be measurable. He will suffer in college exams, job interview, job, and works.

For the aforementioned reasons, it is elucidated that career choice is totally depends on the student individually, educational institute would only provide a student facility to get master in his field, but not success guarantee.
Junisha111p   
Jul 1, 2015
Writing Feedback / IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO WORK AT A JOB THAT YOU ENJOY THAN IT IS TO EARN A LOT OF MONEY. [4]

--It has been said the a golden key can open any door. Similarly, money can fulfill almost all artificial requirements, but can it buy happiness? Real happiness comes from the self satisfaction which one can get only after fulfilling his interest, which is self interest work. So, ....

Let me know what you think.

Keep writing!!
Junisha111p   
Jul 1, 2015
Writing Feedback / Proper measures must be taken to stop obesity and encourage people to physical activity [2]

There is a general consensus nowadays that the increasing in average weight of people is in greatly reverse ratio with the levels of health and fitness

?/? What you want to say?

- I would write-
Obesity, in the current generation, is increasing mainly with lack of exercise, daily routine, and fitness facilities. People are living a work oriented life and missing their physical fitness. Furthermore, current generation are more fascinated towards junk food in some fancy outlets.

Hope it will help you.

keep writing!!
Junisha111p   
Jun 30, 2015
Writing Feedback / To understand the primary characteristics of a society, it is important to learn the village areas. [3]

To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.

Topic recommends that to study the society characteristics, one should see major cities. I am not completely agree with the suggested point of view with following reasons.

To understand the primary characteristics of society, it is important to the development in the village areas. In any country, major cities are usually developed compare to village because major cities are having multiple resources to connect with other valuable resources, such as, internet, media activity, wire or wireless communication system. Through enlisted resources, people of cities are made themselves aware in terms of education, health, and technology. In the cities, facilities such as big malls, nightclubs, health facility, administration, advance travelling facility, major food outlets, multinational company, and infrastructure make people to see how the things has developed in other country. It avails people to change their life style, communication, multiple resources of income.

Whereas, the rural society will be completely different from cities. Reasons are very clear that even government majorly focus on the development of city than rural areas. For example, electricity in cities usually comes 24x7, but in village, it uses to come hardly 8-10 hours, sometime even 2-3 hours. So people would not make themselves completely aware of about surroundings, it makes big difference in the characteristics of the society and village.

A country would be only developed when its villages are equally developed. In cities, woman usually works with man, but in village woman are still confined around their homes, that makes significant of difference in society characteristics. In village, there are not good facilities available in terms of roads, administration, travelling facility. People are primarily depends on farming for their earning. So their thought is also circumscribed in similar field.

Society is mostly dependent on what their youths are up to, man is made of what their surroundings are. In case of cities, youth are focused in many innovative fields. They are seeking their career in field like media, technology, management and ITs, and are completely aware of new affair, technology. They are ready to embrace new challenges and field. Whereas youth in the village are limited in to traditional field, either they are following their family business or dragged in to work in which they are not interested. Some youth make their carrier to succeed if they are aware of society.

In conclusion, important characteristics of society can only be seen by the class of living in village area. As it clear from above paragraph that, enrich society in the cities are quite developed and far ahead than villages. So, only cities society characteristics would not be enough to get clear picture about society.
Junisha111p   
Jun 30, 2015
Writing Feedback / Social well-being could be reached by removing the charge for education and healthcare [5]

He aseprudi,

I read your essay. overall you have presented well thought on the education and health.

In conclusion,what you are trying to say Where possible, the state also should point out the regulation to all everyone ?

You can also say that educational institute and medical facilities are less in the rural areas, government should focus more in these area to bring these facility in good quality and at minimum cost.

Hope it will help you.
Junisha111p   
Jun 29, 2015
Writing Feedback / Why is sport is important at school? [4]

Hello M19,

I read your essay. I think you have got sufficient description about your grammar and style of writing.
I would like to add few point in the argument that you could have add few more point to strengthen you essay. For example-

1. Sports not only provide the stamina, capacity, and release from boredom , but also it does opens the career way. Now a days, most parents want their kid to go for study. They are basically predefined the path for them, whether students like or not. Some developed school, they introduce almost all type of sport. It opens a multiple option to chose and direct your interest. In that way, student may find his interest in particular sport and make some good work in that field.

2. Currently students gets victim of many disease, main reason behind it is that they are busy with electronic gadgets, could not able to make time for physical sports. School, by providing sports option , helps student to do physical work. In that way they would make themselves fit as well as increase concentration in study.

These point could raise essay to a good level.

Cheers!!
Junisha111p   
Jun 28, 2015
Writing Feedback / GRE ISSUE - evaluation of the most effective teaching methods. [7]

Thank you very much lcturn87 for you instruction.

I must say that It will really help me in improving my essay skill.

your indicated point is really important.
I am going to work on these area.

Would you please suggest me based where should i work more based on this essay?

In the paragraph-2 I wanted to say that ''If a batsman would made to play only shot where he is good, then it would be difficult for him to play shot where he is not. ultimately, I wanted to say that favorable condition would not be sufficient for a batsman if he wants to be skillful. he needs to know about adverse condition too. He must know his weakness which could be acknowledge by his coach''.

Thank you,

junisha111p
Junisha111p   
Jun 28, 2015
Writing Feedback / GRE ISSUE - evaluation of the most effective teaching methods. [7]

It is always necessary to give review of student in teaching. Teaching is the way, by which one can shape mind of student. It is completely depends on the teacher that what way he is going to adopting in teaching. In the following issue task , it is suggesting that one must always follow a praising path to their student. I do not agree completely with the following reasons.

In the teaching of somebody , one must tell his positive points and negative points, but a good balance between both is very much required. If teacher completely focusing on the positive portion of the student then he is not showing his lacking point. Which is not true teaching skill. For instance, suppose a student is preparing for highly competitive exam, and he is not prepare for negative circumstances. For example, his weakness in subject, time management and his skill to handle the tough problem, then he would may face problem in the examination.

Likewise,Success always need a fear. A fear of failure, a fear of success, and a fear of achieving dream. It motivates student to work hard especially work on the weakness. If a teacher would not indicate his negativity then student would become overconfident. Such as, in the game of cricket, if batsman has made to play the ball which is his strong point and not even use to play ball which could trouble or even stump him. Then he would realise the point that he must have prepared for such environment.

The best way to prepare for any exam in life is to work on negative action. Teacher is the best coach for student to signifies his negative point, to share his experience in respective field. It has been that a best machine can mold best pot. In similar way a teacher can mold student by his experience and knowledge in respective field. In the defense field, where solider has given tough training. They use to prepared for their critical condition of war zone. General of solider share all of his battle field experience with solider to make them ready with real war. Because, one may make thousand of mistake in training, it wont cost, but one mistake in battle field could cost his life.

Sometime motivation is also required in the teaching. If a teacher always indicate negative point then student may lose his interest. If teacher provides balance response then could benefits more than expected.

Preparing a student, solider and employ for their respective task is act of balance response on their skill. Their positive and their negative skill. If they will be able to know their negative point then they would work hard to improve it . similarly, they would get chance to work hard to make their strong point more stronger. So giving mix response in teaching is very much required